Like the Back of My Halo

by Hutchinson, Heidi

  She tried to nap, she did. But her internal clock was so stressed out and screwed up she couldn't. So after thirty minutes of staring at the ceiling, she left the villa to explore.

  The ocean, as usual, demanded her attendance and she found herself at the marina without even intending to. A few small boats were tied to the dock. A sign stated prices for tours around the island. Lo shoved her hands into the pockets of her jean shorts, debating whether or not she should hire someone to take her out. She'd never seen Cloudbreak before and the curiosity was compelling.

  “Lo!”

  Cal Stellen waved at her. She waved back and he spoke to the skipper then jogged up the dock to her.

  “I had no idea you were going to be here,” Cal said, bright smile showing off his white teeth in his tanned face. “But I have to admit, I was hoping.”

  “Sort of a last minute change of direction.”

  “I'm glad.” Cal held an arm out to the boat. “I'm going to look at it right now. Wanna join me?”

  Lo shifted on her feet. Yes, she wanted to go. But leaving the shore with Cal meant she wouldn't be around if Brady suddenly showed up. Though, she had no idea if he was even coming. Maybe he'd found out about her coup and decided to leave her to it. That thought made her stomach hurt.

  She nodded and followed Cal. She couldn't put her life on pause just because a boy had confused her.

  Okay, no. He wasn't a boy and he hadn't confused her. He was a man. And for the first time in her life she was in a relationship she had no experience navigating. It wasn't like dating, it was more, and more was at risk. Every move felt important and yet she didn't know if she was ever making the right choice. Every day was spent second guessing her instincts and then reminding herself that her instincts were what had gotten her this far. Life had to keep going.

  The motor whirred to life and the skipper navigated the boat out of the harbor. A wind whipped her hair around and she regretted not bring a hair tie. One inconvenience about visiting all of these tropical locations was the humidity. She didn't know her hair could get that big. It wasn't that her hair was suddenly curly or something. No, it just kept gaining volume. Still straight, just big. It was bizarre.

  The geology of Cloudbreak, the thing that made it special, was the reef.

  A large, active reef jutted two miles off the coast of Tavarua. As the waves produced by large storms to the south came towards the shore, the water broke over the reef starting three miles out. The low tide only made the height and speed of the wave more spectacular. It created a turquoise, glassy tube that barreled perfectly towards shore.

  Lo understood the mechanics of it. But she'd never seen it.

  The skipper slowed their little skiff and killed the engine. Lo gripped the rail and leaned towards the wave. Like everything in her life she loved, she wanted to be closer.

  Consistently named as one of the top ten most challenging big waves in the world, Cloudbreak lived up to its reputation.

  The peaceful roll towards shore was deceptive in its simplicity. It had all the space in the world to expand its graceful curl. It lacked the angry dark water of Mavericks. Which really just demonstrated how honest Mavericks was. You knew what you were getting with Mavericks, you knew it was dangerous. Cloudbreak looked like a dream, and cunningly drew you into its high speed chase with a nightmare lurking below.

  To get sucked under the current meant hitting an active reef. The lower the tide, the bigger the wave, the sooner you hit shallows.

  Cal joined her at the rail and gazed out across the water. “Stu's gonna position his boat behind the lineup. I heard a few more were headed this way. A couple guys from ESPN were in the airport terminal when I landed this morning.”

  “You flew in?” she asked.

  “Yeah, I'm not big on sailing unless I can drink the entire time. Stu keeps a tight ship when it's not anchored.”

  “Hm,” she mumbled noncommittally.

  Cal chuckled. “You're not even listening, are you?”

  “Not really,” she admitted, counting in her head as the swell grew. In a few days that thing was going to be a monster.

  ***

  “I mean, it would only make sense to get out there tomorrow and get a feel for it.” Lo tried to play off her excitement, but she'd practically skipped off the boat and to the bar in the resort.

  “Catch a baby wave?” Cal asked around a chuckle.

  “The equipment should be here by tomorrow,” Steve said, sliding a beer to Lo and taking up a position at her back.

  Cal's eyes drifted to him and a smirk tugged on the corner of his mouth. Steve was the ever-present reminder Lo wasn't available. She didn't know if it was something he'd grown accustomed to since he had sisters, but she didn't actually mind it. He wasn't overly aggressive with men who spoke to her. He didn't get bent if guys came over to talk. He simply placed his body in such a position that said she had someone at her back. Not that Lo had ever felt like she needed that kind of protection among the surfers she'd met over the years. Most of them had a very laid back and let live attitude.

  “Even if your equipment's not here tomorrow, we have stuff we can lend you.” Cal's eyes caught on something over Lo's shoulder and his eyes narrowed. “Heads up, Fred,” he mumbled as he sat a little straighter in his chair.

  Lo frowned and went to look behind her but a heavy arm slid along her shoulders from the other direction. She startled and cringed as hot breath hit her ear.

  “Halo, darling, I'm so glad you made it.”

  She shrugged her shoulders, trying to dislodge Miller's arm. “Get off me.”

  He released her and laughed harshly, slamming his beer bottle down on their table.

  “Where's the man of the moment?” Miller asked, making a show of looking around. “Already bored with him? Let me guess? He failed the secret test he had no idea he was taking?”

  Lo knew better than to respond to his baiting. Especially since he was drinking. He was spoiling for a fight and she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of getting under her skin.

  “Miller,” Steve stepped forward, putting his body partially in front of Lo. Not exactly blocking her, but making it harder for Miller to reach her if he tried again. “We haven't met yet. I'm Steve.”

  Miller stared hard at Steve's face. “Do I know you from somewhere?”

  Lo felt the temperature at their table drop to a chill when Steve's response came in a gravelly voice. “Why? Do I look familiar?”

  Oh, boy. Lo did not need to lose another partner just because Miller made for a very attractive punching bag.

  “A little,” Miller answered and frowned harder as he tried to place it.

  Steve's body grew stiff and Lo laid a hand on his arm. Someone yelled from across the bar and distracted Miller, who was completely oblivious to his imminent bodily harm. He walked that direction without looking back.

  “What was that about?” Lo asked.

  Steve's body relaxed in slow progression. “I hate that guy.”

  “He's easy to hate,” Lo said with a shrug. “But you know you have to play nice.”

  “Right.” Steve eased back into his place behind Lo. But this time he stayed a little closer.

  Cal smirked and stood up. “As much as I want to stick around and see Miller Boden get everything he's ever deserved, I think I'll say my goodnights now. Let me know if you want to go out tomorrow.”

  “What? But we just got here,” Lo objected.

  Cal's eyes flicked over her shoulder again and he clinked his bottle against hers. “There's someone here to see you.”

  Lo looked over her shoulder again, thinking she should have taken the seat facing the door if she was going to have to do all this turning around. And that's when she saw him.

  Brady spotted her and his body moved in her direction. At the sight of his impressive build and intense expression, her mouth went dry. All of her confusion evaporated and her pulse roared in her ears. He was looking at her not just intensely, but with intent. A
man on a mission.

  She struggled to find her feet, needing to get to him as soon as possible. And then he was there.

  He cupped the side of her face with one hand and gripped her waist with the other. His mouth crushed hers, his tongue invading and causing her to cry out in relief. He pulled her hips against his and tilted her head to the side to give him better access.

  “Damn, get a room,” Steve remarked with disgust.

  Brady tore his mouth from hers and she opened her eyes half way. “That's an excellent idea,” he growled. He bent to her ear. “Villa. Now.”

  30

  Brady

  All it took was seeing her. Here. In person.

  And he lost it.

  His mind, his heart, his breath.

  He'd had an entire speech planned. They needed to talk, get the confusion out of the way.

  But all of his plans faded to the distant background the second he was in the same room with her.

  They'd been so far away. Far enough to feel it. A distance made worse by his lack of communication. But only until this moment, when he was closing the gap between them. The missing, the loss, the frustration, it needed to be gone. Abolished.

  Just like their first meeting, he was drawn to her wild beauty. The danger in her eyes and in the taste of her lips. The current of her nature pulled him, surrounded him, drowned him.

  All the words in the world couldn't save him. He was tumbling, tumbling, tumbling, tumbling. The rush, the loss of equilibrium. His heart crashed against his rib cage and he held onto her tighter.

  She was it.

  His risk.

  His reward.

  She took his hand and led him out of the resort bar. Her fingers tangled surely in his and he held on. He was always going to hold onto her.

  By the time they reached the door to the villa, he had a fraction of his initial focus back. He took a deep breath and stood close behind her as she unlocked the door.

  “We need to talk about things,” he said, curling a hand around the back of her neck. He needed to apologize. He needed to make certain she understood he was sorry. So very sorry. And selfish. And stupid.

  “Yeah,” she agreed.

  The door swung open and he followed her in, closed it behind him, and then pulled her right back into another frantic embrace.

  They needed to talk, but he couldn't seem to stop touching her.

  He wanted her in his arms, her hair in his face, her scent all around him. If only it were possible for them to talk about all the things they needed to while he also made love to her. Until they both felt anchored, secure, and heard.

  He backed her against the door and his hands roamed over her body.

  Remember. Review. Renew.

  It may have only been a couple of weeks, but it suddenly felt a lot lot longer. His skin caught fire where it touched hers, his pulse began anew as soon as his lips found hers on her neck.

  He was intent. And he was going to love her with intent.

  “I missed you,” she gasped as his lips traveled down her neck and he tugged the strap of her tank top off her shoulder.

  He pulled back and found those translucent green eyes. They shimmered in the low light of the villa, blazing. He didn't know how long he could last in her gaze. He was ready to come apart, shredded at her feet, just to have her in his arms.

  “You make me weak,” he confessed. He nipped at her bottom lip, the sensation filling him with heat and purpose.

  She ran her hands over his shoulders and down his chest. “Nothing about you is weak.”

  Her words ignited him, desire coursed through his limbs, and a low growl escaped as he took her mouth again. Hungrier than before. He wanted to be the man she thought he was. He wanted to be the man he saw in her eyes.

  He lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

  “Which way?” he asked between heady kisses.

  “To the left,” she pointed, dipping her head to work her mouth down his neck.

  He moved to the bedroom and kicked the door shut behind them. He put a knee to the bed and laid her down. This. This was what his bed, his life, his days had been missing. The look of trust and want in her eyes, the touch of her, the weight of her in his hands, her smile, her voice, her presence. He'd been half of a person for two weeks and now he was whole again.

  “Wait, we should talk,” she panted, her fingers tangled in his hair as his lips found her neck. “I'm actually really mad at you.”

  “Okay. Tell me why you're mad while you kiss me. I'm totally listening.” He wasn't.

  “I forget.” Her hands slipped under the hem of his shirt and found the sensitive skin of his lower abs. He sucked in a sharp breath.

  “No, you didn't,” he argued against her collarbone. “You're mad because I asked Shane to assign you someplace safe.”

  Her hands came out from under his shirt and planted firmly on his shoulders. And she pushed. He lifted his head to find her narrowed green (still absolutely gorgeous) eyes. He tried a smile. Her eyes narrowed further.

  “I can't believe you did that,” she said, all the passion gone from her voice.

  “Would it help if I said I felt really bad about it?”

  He had no idea a person's eyes could actually get that narrow. She gave a small shove and he rolled off her, rubbing the heels of his hands in his eyes.

  “You promised. You said no more tricks or games. You said it would be a clean competition.”

  When he opened his eyes he saw her sitting beside him on the bed, back to him. “Yeah, but that was before I fell in love with you.”

  She shot a glare at him over her shoulder and then stood up. Her hair was a mess of tangles, her lips and collarbone still flush from his kisses. She tugged her tank top down and paced across the room. Brady sat up and laced his finger together with his elbows on his knees.

  “You can't keep doing that. Manipulating my life and then using your own personal feelings to justify it.”

  “Why didn't you tell me you'd ridden Mavericks before?” he asked directly.

  The red in her cheeks came back for a different reason now.

  “Don't change the subject, Brady,” she said tightly.

  He shrugged. “I'm not changing it. I'm trying to get through all the things we need to talk about before we decide to kiss and make up.”

  Her laugh was incredulous. “More manipulation.”

  He sighed and rolled his lips together. “Fine. Okay, yes. I don't like the idea of you being in any kind of danger. So I 'manipulated' the situation.”

  “Don't use air quotes for something that's actually a big deal to me. If you don't understand how big of deal this is, than I don't think I can trust you to not do it again.”

  “I haven't promised not to do it again.”

  The silence that followed his admission rang in his ears. But he wasn't going to lie to her.

  Her eyes widened. “You think what you did is okay?”

  “Look, I don't know, okay?” Brady shrugged and rubbed his hands on his jeans. “It was sneaky and underhanded and I knew it would piss you off and...” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I didn't care.”

  “You didn't care.”

  “No. Not about pissing you off.”

  She glared. “Making me mad didn't bother you?”

  Brady wanted to laugh but he had a feeling that wouldn't go over well. “C'mon, Lo. You really want to be with a guy who operates on whether or not you're going to get bent?”

  “No. I want to be with a guy who respects me enough to let me make my own decisions.”

  He sighed and dropped his gaze to the floor at her feet. “I do respect you to do that, but it's complicated.”

  “Not from where I'm standing. I was terrified of you riding Mavericks and I didn't do one damn thing to stop you. I told you how I felt and let you make that choice for yourself. Because I. Respect. You.”

  Brady tilted his head to the side and grimaced. “Right. About that. Why didn't you w
ant me to go there again?”

  Lo licked her lips and placed her hands on her hips. Her eyes flashed with fire. “Because I care about you, dummy! Or maybe you haven't been paying attention.”

  She was so beautiful, standing there upset and rigid and not running away. He wanted to have all of his fights with her.

  “I couldn't do it your way,” he confessed.

  She frowned. “What?”

  “I couldn't tell you what I was afraid of. It was easier to be sneaky.”

  “But you knew it would make me mad.”

  “Yeah. And I knew we'd fight about it. And I knew we'd fix it.”

  Her stunned silence reminded Brady why he was there. Because she was it. His Lo, his one. His perfect partner. The passion, the intensity, the fights, all of it.

  “This is better.”

  “What do you mean?” Her voice carried an ominous quality he thought was adorable. Because it was unwarranted and needless.

  “Do you really believe you're so ordinary I wouldn't have noticed what life was like without you?” he asked. “You must know how incredible you are. You must have some idea of how much of a wreck I am when you're not around.” He cracked a smile and chuckled. “And then I get here and everything makes sense again. This is better. Even fighting with you is better than being without you.”

  Her mouth fell open and moved to make words, but none came out. She shook her head and squeezed her eyes together. “No, you're not allowed to confuse me right now. I'm mad at you for what you pulled and I'm not ready to let it go yet. You haven't even apologized!”

  “I'm sorry.”

  A humorless laugh burst out of her. “That's not funny.”

  But the light in her eyes said it was kind of funny and Brady grinned, determined to push his luck.

  “Life is weird without you, Lo. It's hard. And it sucks. And I don't like myself. I'm grumpy and dickish. But the way you look at me makes me feel like I can do anything. And maybe it makes me an even bigger kind of asshole because I prefer the way I look through your eyes. I want to be that guy. I want to be that guy more than anything in the world. I want to be the kind of person that makes you smile and makes you laugh and gets you excited and drives you crazy and makes you mad. I want to be the only person in the world who gets to you.