Vukre and Kiranda are easy with one another. They sit so close their bodies are pressed together, they hold hands, their gaze always seeking out the other, their smiles genuine.
Daezoth slides closer to me, but I just can’t bear the thought of him touching me right now, and I shrink in on myself, shoulders huddled, hands clasped in my lap.
When Daezoth rests his hand on my knee I jump, and he pulls it away so fast you’d never know it was there in the first place.
“Are you all right?” He brings his face close to mine to ask the question, and all I can see in my periphery are those two great black eyes.
I close mine.
“Just tired. I think. I need to rest, and have some space for myself. All this is a bit much to take in, you know?”
Daezoth reaches out to brush a hair from my face and I tense, and he pulls his hand away.
“Do you want me to show to you our room?”
I think of that corridor with all it’s identical doors, and nod. “Please.”
“Let’s go then.”
As I stand Kiranda reaches out to cover my hand in hers. “It get’s easier.” She smiles up at me. “I promise.”
I nod, but my eyes are blurry and I know if I blink tears will spill, and I don’t want either of the aliens to see that so I turn my head away and scurry for the door.
Out in the corridor I stride towards out room, but Daezoth grabs my hand and I turn to see he’s shifted into his human form.
My breath catches at the sight of him, and all I want to do is fall into his embrace, but I can still see those all black eyes behind these gorgeous blue ones, and I can’t.
He looks at me, his gaze filled with pain, and my heart cracks that I’m the cause of it. I wish I could reach out and take it all away, but I don’t know how.
“You are not comfortable with my true form.” The hurt is clear in his tone, and I look away.
“Like I said. This is all new to me. It’s a bit much to take in.”
He shakes his head. “It is more than that. You do not see me as a person, but as an alien, as a monster. You don’t want me to touch you, or even come near you, because you can’t see beyond my true form, and see the person within.”
I close my eyes and swallow. “Daezoth, please—”
He drops my hand. “If it is your prefence, I will stay in this form.”
I glance up at him, but his eyes still shine with pain and I shake my head.
“I do not think it would work, Daezoth. I’ve seen your true form. I don’t know how I can unsee it. And when you’re in your true form I can’t even tell you apart from the other alien. I’m sorry.”
“And so our bonding means nothing to you?”
I glance down at the poorly drawn ring on my finger. It’s already smudging, temporary, the way I’d felt about our bonding from the beginning, truth be told.
“I bonded with you, not knowing the truth about you. Can you truly expect someone to commit to you without knowing all your secrets?”
Daezoth’s brow furrows. “Do you bond on Earth, knowing each other’s every secret?”
I snort. “Maybe not every little secret, but certainly all the big ones! This is huge, Daezoth. I committed to you, because I thought you were a human. If I’d known—” I wave my hand at him.
“No.” He shakes his head. “You bonded with me because you wanted to have sex, and you thought being bonded to me would help you with the billionaires you envisaged living on this ship. I tried to tell you the truth, on multiple occasions. You chose not to hear.” He squares his jaw. “If you do not wish to be bonded any longer then I will return you to Earth.”
“Alone?” My voice comes out a squeak, and I hate myself for revealing how much that thought terrifies me.
Daezoth nods. “The punishment for breaking a bonding on Somtach is exile, though at least your exile will be returning you to your home.” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “I have fallen for you, Chayya. It breaks my heart that you do not feel the same. But if you do not, I will not force you.”
I swallow, and nod, tears pricking the corners of my eyes.
Daezoth gestures to a door. “Here is our room. I will leave you to rest, and speak to the Commander about setting up a seperate room so you do not need to see me.”
I look up at him, holding his gaze for the first time since we started this conversation. “Daezoth, no. You don’t have to do that.”
His lips press into a thin line, and before my eyes he shifts into his true shape. I try to keep my gaze on his, but I can’t and I drop my eyes.
“Yes, Chayya. It seems I do.”
He presses his hand against the door so it slides open.
“Your pack is underneath the bed. Nothing has been touched. The door to the left leads into a bathroom. You are welcome to make full use of the facilities.”
He doesn’t even look at me as he speaks, his voice monotone. And then he turns and disappears down the corridor, away from the shared room and back towards the hangar.
Is he going to get his ship ready now?
I think of going back to Earth, without Daezoth, and my heart seems to split. It’s what I want, to go home, to familiar surroundings, and human people.
So why does it feel like Daezoth has just given me a death sentence?
Chapter 20
I enter the room, and the door hisses shut behind me.
Now I’m here I don’t know what to do.
I sit on the bed, but there’s such a jittering inside me I can’t sit still for long, and soon I’m up, pacing the room.
I don’t know if I’ve just allowed the worst thing to happen, or the best.
I was falling for Daezoth, although truth be told it was more lust than love, but he was nice, and kind, and as I reasoned to myself on his ship, I’m not going to have a whole lot of options going forward.
And he saved my life. Twice. I shouldn’t forget that.
He obviously cares about me.
But he’s so… alien.
I slump back on the bed and sink my forehead into my hands.
We were in the midst of the most amazing, mind-blowing sex I’ve had in my life.
That doesn’t change because of form, does it?
And his kindness, and his caring nature…? Those things aren’t linked to appearance either.
And yet….
I sigh. Now I know the truth about Daezoth I don’t think I could lay with him again.
His true form is gold, with massive bat wings, and for all I know, an equally massive cock which would probably split me in two.
My groin tingles at the thought and I scowl. Trust my body to betray me.
I push the thought away, and try to think about something else.
Earth.
I have my pack and everything in it, and if Daezoth did take me back to the same town, then I could shack up in that first farm house I came across, with it’s chickens and garden.
That would be all right, for a while.
Then again, it’s barely a month or two until winter. What about when it snows? How will I survive that all alone? Somehow I don’t think layering blankets over me will do enough.
So, alternative option. Beg Daezoth’s forgiveness. Force myself to pretend his alien form doesn’t bother me. Then we end up on Somtach, surrounded by aliens who all look the same.
And then there’s whats expected of me, if I go. That’s almost enough on it’s own for me to wonder if risking my future with the zombies is a better option. I’m not one for teaching people. I could teach the basics of English; the alphabet, and how to string basic sentences together, but I don’t remember proper grammar, and as for history. Hah! The most I remember is that Captain Cook landed in Australia on the 26th of January, which is why it’s Australia Day.
I pause at that thought. Actually, maybe that’s not right, after all. Maybe it was more something to do with the First Fleet, and all those convicts?
Either way, that proves my point. I
’m not going to be any good to anyone teaching the history of the Earth, or even a tiny part of it. I’ve never even paid attention to my own family history, which involves my father’s mother immigrating from India at some point in her life, to start a fresh life with my grandfather.
I guess I could beg Daezoth’s forgiveness and see if he will forgive me, and then take me back to Earth, where we can continue to search for survivors. After all, if Kiranda was out there somewhere, that means there’s got to be others. And I could do it if I wasn’t alone, I’m sure.
And eventually one of us would be taken by zombies, and that would break our bond.
Except Daezoth has already proven he would save me from zombies, which means it wouldn’t be me dying, it would be him.
I feel ill at the thought. Daezoth might not be human, but no one deserves that fate, especially not someone who has been so good to me.
I take a deep breath, and press on the side door to the bathroom. I told Daezoth I needed to rest, but I’m not getting any sleep with these thoughts cramming up the space in my brain, and aside from going for a long walk, which is what I would’ve done once, before zombies, the only other thing that will help is a shower.
The water is warm, and the spray is hard, and I simply stand under the shower for a good five minutes before I move.
There will be no more hot showers back on Earth. Well, unless I can find someone who was organised and set up with a solar power system and a pump, like Kiranda described.
But would hot showers be worth fronting up to people who expect me to present a series of lectures on life on Earth? Regular hot showers? What about regular food? And then there’s Daezoth’s family. I think of the way Clay’s family welcomed me when he and I first announced we were a couple. It was like my family had doubled, in an instant.
If I returned with Daezoth to Somtach, would his family welcome me like one of their own? Or would I be far too different for them to even consider accepting me?
I think of the pain in Daezoth’s eyes, and my a sharp pain pierces my chest. I have done this to him. I’ve rejected the one person alive who truly cares for me, simply because I can’t be brave enough to face his differences head on.
That’s what he would’ve done for me, isn’t it? He would’ve taken human form for ever, and lived on a planet millions of miles from his own, conforming to a culture not his own.
He would’ve done that for me.
My heart stutters in my chest. How is it I am even thinking about this? My answer should’ve been an immediate ‘yes, lets go to Somtach’. I can never see my family again. They’re dead. All the people I know and love are dead, except Daezoth.
Daezoth has saved my life, twice over. Three times, really, if I consider he petitioned his Commander for me to go back to Somtach with him, rather than spending the rest of my days running from zombies.
I’m terrified at the thought of being the only human— I correct myself. I’m terrified at the thought of being one of only two humans on an alien planet, but Kiranda seems nice enough. And Daezoth has already proven he will protect me, and care for me, and dare I say it, even love me.
I just need to get over myself, and hope to god he can forgive me for being so damned foolish.
Chapter 21
I climb out of the shower, give myself a quick dry, and pull my tunic and a pair of jeans over still damp limbs.
Out in the corridor I’m not sure which way to go. Do I follow Daezoth to the hangar? Or do I try the shared room?
I try the hangar first.
It’s an enormous space, empty of anyone at the moment, and I feel like a mouse as I cross to his ship.
I press my hand against the door, but it stays firmly shut. Has Daezoth locked himself inside?
Or is he somewhere else?
I rap quietly against the hull of the ship, and then, when there’s no response, I knock harder.
The sound echoes through the hangar, and I pull my hand in close to my chest.
I don’t want to draw too much attention to myself.
Still nothing, not even from someone outside the ship.
I hover for a moment, unsure whether to try the other corridor, which led to my temporary prison, and presumably his Commander’s rooms, or go back and wait in the shared room.
I take a deep breath. I’m too scared to risk being seen by the Commander, so I head back along the corridor to the shared room.
Maybe Kiranda or Vukre know where I can find Daezoth.
I press my hand against the door, my heart pounding, and my cheeks warm already, even though there isn’t yet anyone to see my embarrassment.
What if Daezoth won’t take me back?
But then the door slides open, and Daezoth is the only one in the room, sitting at the table with a drink in his hand.
He glances up, and instantly shifts into the human form I’m so familiar with.
I reach an arm out towards him. “Don’t.”
“I have to.” He gives me a sad smile. “It’s the only way you’ll look at me.
I bite my lip, and shake my head. “I’m sorry.”
I cross the room to take the chair next to him, and reach out to grab his hand.
“I’m really sorry, Daezoth. You’ve done so much for me, you saved my life, at least twice, and I repay you by rejecting you.” I hold his gaze. “Please, show me your true form again.”
“I’ve seen how it repulses you, Chayya. The memory of it hurts enough, I don’t want to live through it again.”
My heart breaks at the pain I’ve caused him. “Please.” My gaze searches out his. “I’m sorry. I… I care for you. I do. You the person. The one who rescued me twice, who has cared for me, and loved me. This is all a huge shock, I’ve already said that. But I can overcome it. I can get past it.” I squeeze his hand. “I want to overcome this, Daezoth. I want to stay with you.”
Daezoth bites his lip, his eyes flicking across my face.
Does he see how genuine my request is? He must because he sighs, and closes his eyes, and in moments he is that golden-skinned, webbed-winged creature, with those pitchest of black eyes.
He opens his eyes, and ever so slowly raises his gaze to meet mine.
My instinct is to pull away, but I resist, and instead force myself to hold his gaze.
His eyes are a swirl of emotion, despite the fact he has no pupil or iris with which to read them, and my heart clenches again at the pain I’ve caused.
“Daezoth.” I can’t get my voice above a whisper, and Daezoth closes his eyes.
“I’m truly sorry.” I reach up to cup his cheek, which is warm, not the chill touch of actual gold I was somehow expecting. I bite my lip, then take a deep breath. “I was scared, and confused by everything, which is no excuse for the way I’ve treated you, but that’s why I reacted the way I did. The thing is, I do care you for, Daezoth. And I don’t want to be separated from you, and….” I take a deep breath. “And I’d love to return to Somtach with you, as your bonded, if you still want me?”
Daezoth’s eyes open wide.
“Do you mean that? Really?”
I nod, and lean forward so I can press my lips against his.
Daezoth freezes for a moment, and then his arms are around me, and his wings, too, as he kisses me back.
“I like this.” I glance around at his wings.
“You do?”
I smile up at him. “It feels very cosy. I should’ve tried this earlier.”
Daezoth strokes the side of my face with a finger. “I should have been more understanding. I’ve been trained for this for most of my life, and I remember the strangeness of coming to another planet and changing my form, even in training where the other planet was a simulation, and everyone around me was someone I knew. The situation on your planet is enough to cause great stress for the most relaxed of individuals.” He takes both my hands in his, closes his eyes, and presses his forehead against mine, and all of a sudden I can see whole galaxies spinning in slow motion, ov
erlaying the image of his face.
I close my eyes, the vision clearer now; planets following their orbit around their sun, stars, and moons and comets and meteors travelling through the vast blackness of space.
“Are you doing that?” I ask Daezoth, my voice hushed.
He nods. “On Somtach, when we wish to provide comfort, this is how we do it, by holding hands, and pressing our foreheads together. We can connect in this way, too, mind to mind.”
My heart quickens at the thought. “Can you read my mind?”
Daezoth opens his eyes, and pulls his head away. “I can sense your love for me,” he brushes the hair out of my eyes, his voice husky. “I love you, too, Chayya. From the moment you told me your story, all I wanted to do was protect you from suffering that same loss again. And I know that is something that is out of my power, that we will all suffer the loss of loved ones, again and again and again, but I will do my best to be there for you, to be your support and your comfort, for as long as I possibly can.”
My eyes prick with tears.
“Oh, Daezoth.” I press my mouth against his, my tongue pressing through our lips to brush against his, as his hand comes up to cup my breasts.
“Umm….” Kiranda’s voice pulls me from Daezoth as Vukre clears his throat.
“Might be time to get a room.” Kiranda grins at me, and I know there’s no way she can see through Daezoth’s wings, which are still wrapped tightly around me, but my face still flushes anyway.
I look at Daezoth. “Shall we?”
The smile on his face spreads wider. “Do you want to?”
I grin. “Oh I do.”
Chapter 22
I burst through our bedroom door, breathless, the giggle I’ve been suppressing bursts out.
“Oops.”
I grin at Daezoth, who raises a brow. “They would not have minded.”
“Vukre maybe. On Earth we keep intimacy behind closed doors.”
“Such a shame.” Daezoth raises his eyebrow and I laugh. He crosses the room to wrap his arms and wings around me again, and I reach up to meet his lips halfway.
Taken by an Alien Shifter: A sci-fi alien romance (Scouts of Somtach Book 2) Page 8