by AJ Wolf
I look at Jessie one more time, my hand clutching the fabric of Donatello’s shirt as I try to get a better grip. “Sometimes you have to admit defeat, Delaney.”
I just keep pulling him, constantly looking over my shoulder to see how much farther I need to go. My arms and legs are shaking with the effort and I’m covered in sweat and blood. My tears making the dust from the road stick to my face. I’ve pulled him half the distance I need to and I can see the ambulance at the end of the mile drive.
My foot slips and my butt slams to the ground, Donatello’s body landing on my lap. I move my arms so they wrap around his shoulders and head, press my cheek against his as I rock us. My breaths are so rough his head rises and falls against my chest with each one. I can’t see Remy or Jessie well through my tears, but I know they’re still standing there watching my heart shatter like a sick sideshow.
Closing my eyes, I force myself up grabbing Donatello once more to try and tug him with me. I don’t even know if he’s still breathing or if he still has a heartbeat because I refuse to check. I’m just praying to whoever will listen that he is okay, that he will be okay. I just keep dragging him. One more foot. Two more feet. Five. My fingers are cramping against his arms, my back throbbing from being bent over while I pull. I know I’m close, I can hear the EMT’s getting things ready for me, hear the machines in their vehicle. I don’t look. I just keep dragging as my tears leave wet marks on Donatello’s shirt.
There’s a trail of his blood following us, the dirt soaking it up as we go along. It started out as a giant puddle then a steady line. Now it’s spotty and spread out, letting me know he’s lost so much more than he should have.
Someone grabs my arm and I jump at the contact, clutching Donatello to me. “Move, Laney Girl.”
I was so focused on the blood and moving I didn’t hear Jessie coming up to us. I shift so he can take my place and watch as he easily hikes Donatello up his chest. He’s still pulling him but it’s much faster, just Donatello’s boots scraping the ground compared to most of his body when I did it. I look back toward Remy seeing him walk away and no longer watching.
I follow after Jessie, staring at the limp man in his arms. I’m trying to convince myself that he’s still okay. Jessie takes him the last four hundred feet way faster than I would have been able to, helping lift Donatello up onto a gurney the EMTs had ready. I hold my breath as they look over him, yelling things I don’t understand to each other.
“Is he okay?” One of them looks over at me, but doesn't answer, continuing to shuffle things around, and check his body for other injuries. “Is he okay?” I ask it again, feeling Jessie at my back. Again no one answers, starting to move him inside the ambulance. “Can someone please fucking answer me?! Is he okay?”
Jessie grabs my arm when I start forward, but I rip it away, grabbing onto the EMT closest to me. I jerk him sideways forcing his gaze. “Tell me! I don’t care if you’re not supposed to. Please.”
His eyes shift over my head to Jessie and I don’t look, but he must have given him the okay because the EMT meets my gaze again. “He’s breathing, but he needs blood badly. He might not make it to the hospital.”
I let go of his jacket and let him step up into the vehicle. I watch as they shut the doors, immediately pulling away, not even giving me a chance to get in with them. I’m out of tears. My chest silently shaking as I take a shuddering breath. Donatello has to make it.
I turn to Jessie and blink up at his face. He almost shot Donatello, but he also probably saved him. “You gave Ollie that file.” It’s not a question, because I know it’s the truth. I want to be angry, but it’s not like Remy wouldn’t have found out about it. This still would have happened, just at a different date.
He nods. His crystal eyes running over my face, his hand moving at his side like he wants to touch me.
“You weren’t supposed to help me.”
“I wasn’t.”
I swallow at his words using my sleeve to wipe my face. “Will you get in trouble?”
He doesn’t answer me, but the look on his face says he probably will. I don’t know how to process what happened. My body is shaking with both fatigue and the remnants of adrenaline. For the first time in my life I understand why people fear Remy. I’d never experienced his cruelty to that capacity. Never even felt a secondhand lashing to anything like that. I feel betrayed by him more than anyone else.
“Will you take me to the hospital?” I realize I don’t even know what hospital they’re bringing him to, but Jessie probably does. I look over at him to find him already watching me. “I don’t blame you.”
He frowns, probably in confusion and I continue. “I understand now why you blindly follow Ollie.” I look away back toward the warehouse. “He’s a monster.”
Jessie lightly touches my arm, “Let’s go. If we hurry you can get there soon after the ambulance.”
I watch Delaney get out of the SUV, and stare at the dark wet stains that were left where she was sitting. Her clothes were so soaked in Donatello’s blood it wrung out onto the leather seat. We didn’t talk the entire way here, she just sat in silence while I choked on my heart. I don’t know why I thought I could do this, why I thought I would be fine watching that happen. But I couldn’t even pull the damn trigger, not after hearing the panic in Laney’s voice. I corrupted my sweet girl just to turn around and break my own deal with Capo Famiglia anyway.
I stood there as long as I could, but eventually I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t watch her suffer like that any longer without help. When I started running toward her, Capo Famiglia didn’t say anything. He didn’t try to stop me or try to remind me of his rules. He just let me run to her.
I can’t stay with her though because the minute I pulled into the hospital parking lot, I got an appointment message. I don’t know what that means, but I know it can’t be good. Whatever it is, Delaney will have been worth it.
I wait until she disappears inside the hospital doors before I drive off, heading toward the texted coordinates. It takes less time than I was hoping to get here, and I close my eyes, forcing my racing heart to calm in my chest. I’m fucking nervous.
Pushing through the door I walk through the empty front room and straight to the stairs leading to the upper office. Capo Famiglia is waiting for me, his hip leaning against the desk as he looks out the windows.
“What was our deal, Wolf?” He doesn’t face me, talking to the windows.
“I wasn’t supposed to touch or assist Delaney in anyway.”
He turns, dark eyes finding mine. “And did you?”
I straighten my shoulders, refusing to appear weak even if my hands are sweating behind my back. “I did what I needed to do.”
He raises a brow, humming at my response. “Why didn’t you shoot Donatello when I ordered it?”
“Because Delaney didn’t want me to.”
He nods, pursing his lips. “Does Delaney make the rules, Wolf?”
I grind my teeth, If I’m going to be punished, I might as well be honest. “She does for me, Capo Famiglia.”
“Then why did you let her pull Donatello for so long, Wolf? If she means so much to you?”
I blink in confusion, but he doesn’t bother to elaborate. “I wanted to help her the entire time, but my respect for the Famiglia stopped me. I eventually decided she was more important.”
“Good choice, Wolf.” He starts to walk from the room, leaving me blinking in confusion, “Too bad it took you so long. You likely killed Donatello.”
“So, I’m not being punished for breaking our deal?”
He pauses, looking at me from the doorway. “Your punishment will be losing Delaney if he dies.”
Almost six hours later and Donatello still hasn’t woken up. They have him hooked to an IV, his heart monitors, a steady beat as I lay my face on his arm squeezing his fingers in mine. Jessie had to leave me at the front doors and I’ve been alone since. I don’t have my phone, but I have no one I want to talk to anyway. T
he bullet went straight through his chest. A clean shot… Lucky, they said. It didn’t look clean. It didn’t feel lucky.
There’s a light rapping on the door and I lift my head watching as a doctor comes into the room. He smiles at me, eyes wandering over Donatello’s form. “Has someone been in recently to check his vitals?”
I nod. A nurse had just come in fifteen minutes prior. He taps his fingers on a packet in his hand. “Good, good. From what we can tell, it looks like he’ll be just fine.” He smiles and I try to force one in return to be polite, but I’m not sure it looks very nice. “I just wanted to drop this off with you guys since you were already here.” He hands me the file with another look cast Donatello’s way as I take it.
He’s almost out the door, but he pauses with a hand resting on the doorframe. “Oh, and congratulations.”
He’s gone before I can ask what he means and I look at the manila file in my hands, frowning in confusion. What the fuck could there possibly be to congratulate me for? I sit back in the seat, opening the top flap to pull out the papers inside. It takes me a second to realize what I’m looking at, for the lines to stop waving across the paper so I can read them.
I look at Donatello laying next to me, my heart breaking all over again at the sight. I tuck the papers away, setting the file on the wheeled side table. I get back in my spot, resting my cheek against the skin of his arm, entwining our fingers together. I know what I need to do. I know what choice I have to make. The choice is obvious, but a knife in my heart would be less painful.
“I need you to wake up, Donatello.” I whisper it into his skin, willing my words to be heard. He lost a lot of blood and I know that’s why he’s sleeping, but it still makes me nervous.
I almost fall asleep like that, waiting for him to wake up, but a nurse comes walking into the room lightly tapping my shoulder. “I’m going to need you to move for just a moment, honey.”
Slowly sitting up, I pull myself from Donatello watching as she goes through the same routine they’ve been doing since he was deemed stable. “Does the hospital have any shampoo or anything I can use? I’d like to shower in the ensuite bathroom if that’s okay.”
She smiles up at me, swapping out the IV bag hanging on the opposite side of the bed. “Sure. If you open the cabinet to your right there should be some extra soaps and things you can have.”
Smiling in thanks, I open the cabinet and pull out a small travel bag before stepping into the bathroom. I almost cry when I look in the mirror. I’ve been avoiding it since we got here, pretending I didn’t notice the dark stains on my clothes or feel the tackiness of the blood dried on my skin through my shirt. My face has dried blood smeared randomly where I must have touched it and there are tear tracks through the dirt that has stuck to my cheeks. It makes sense now why the other nurses kept asking if I’d like to freshen up earlier.
I peel the clothes off and turn on the shower. As soon as I step under the spray, the water turns brown and I shut my eyes pretending it’s fine. Grabbing the soap for my hair, I scrub myself more times than necessary trying to erase the evidence of what happened from my skin. If I can’t see it, it didn’t happen.
Turning the spray off, I grab the towel from the counter drying both my body and hair as best as I can, before wrapping myself in the towel. I don’t have any other clothes and I refuse to put back the ones piled on the floor, so I just shove them in the trash can, stepping out of the room in my towel. Maybe I can call someone with the hotel phone and get them to bring me some.
Donatello’s eyes are on me when I look at the bed and I almost fall right there, my heart thumping in my chest at the sudden rush of emotions pouring through me. I don’t want to hurt him, so I force myself to walk to the bed instead of running, to grab his hand like before. I’m crying again, but I don’t care. I press the back of his hand against my cheek and I stand next to his bed.
“Vita Mia, why are you crying? I’m fine.”
My chin wobbles at his words. At hearing him when I thought I was never going to again. “You weren’t fine.”
His other hand comes up to brush my cheek, wiping some of the tears away. “Come here.”
I’m scared to hurt him, so I just awkwardly lean on the bed, putting my ear to his chest as he runs his fingers along the side of my face and head.
“All the way, baby.”
I look at him, at the bandage wrapped across his upper body that’s exposed from the folded side of his hospital gown. “I won’t fit.”
He chuckles and the sound digs in my gut, pulling at my heartstrings. Missing the sound without realizing I was missing it. We haven’t exactly had the best few days. “Get up here. You won’t hurt me.”
He moves his blanket and I carefully climb onto the bed, settling onto his side that’s unmarred. He drops the blanket back over us, his fingers resting against my hip. I don’t talk. I just listen to his heart thumping in my ear, the soft whooshing of every breath he pulls in and out of his chest.
“What happened?”
I pinch my eyes at his question because I don’t want to think about it, let alone talk about it. He moves his shoulder, jostling my head and making me open my eyes. “Can’t someone else tell you?”
He smiles at me, a crooked grin that doesn’t fit the mood. “I want you to tell me.”
I close my eyes again, pressing my face into his skin before I answer him. “Ollie shot you and now you’re here.”
His hand grabs my chin lightly, shaking my head so I open my eyes. “Vita Mia.”
I let out a long breath, licking the dryness from my lips. I find his russet eyes with my own and press my palm over his heart, the steady thumping beneath my head helping calm me. A reminder he’s still here. “Ollie was going to have Jessie shoot you, but he hesitated, so…” It’s harder to get the words out because I keep replaying it in my head. “So Ollie shot you.” His fingers brush some drying hair from my face and I pause, closing my eyes at the touch, only opening them when his finger leaves my skin to start a new path on my shoulder. “Ollie made me drag you down the drive to an ambulance while they all watched… well he didn’t make me. He told me I could leave you there to die or drag you.”
“And you dragged me that entire way?” His words rumble inside his chest, low and deep.
I nod, grabbing his hand to rest against my face, wanting to feel him warm against my skin. “Jessie grabbed you the last bit, but he wasn’t supposed to. I don’t know what Ollie is going to do to him.” The last is a whisper said more to myself than to him.
Donatello starts to lean forward, his fingers grazing my leg, but I hear him hiss and I sit up as best as I can, pulling my weight off of him. “No, I want you on me, Vita Mia.”
I frown at him and he just smiles, lopsided grin eating away at my heart. “I’m not getting on you.”
“Baby, get the fuck on me.” I stare at his face. The tone of his voice not matching the grin he’s giving me.
I slowly shift my leg over his hips to straddle his waist, leaning down to rest my chest to his. I make sure to lay off to the side so I’m not over his wound. I’m only doing it because I selfishly want to feel him.To have as much of him as I can get. Soak up every touch to live off of in my memories because that’s all I’ll ever have with him.
He lifts my head from him, bringing my face to his. I press my lips to his, sinking into them. One of his hands trails along my thigh, fingers lightly scraping as he grips the back of my head with his other, meeting my desperate kisses with his own.
He reaches over and presses the button on his bed that adjusts the back, holding it until he’s sitting up and I can straddle his hips better without needing to support myself as much. “Voglio scoparti, Piccola.” I want to fuck you, baby.
I frown at him, looking around the room. “You literally just woke up after being shot.”
He shrugs, pulling my head to him with a hand on the back of his head to kiss my chin. “I was shot in the chest, not the dick.”
I l
augh because it’s one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard. “Don’t you have that… thing in?” I gesture toward where I’m sitting, where I know they had a catheter hooked up.
He shakes his head, his hips moving so I can feel his erection against my ass. “No, they took it out when you were in the shower.”
He’s already running kisses along my neck, soft passes of his tongue that have my fingers softly digging into his shoulders. “What if someone walks in?”
His lips find mine again instead of answering, his hands gripping the edge of my towel to untuck the edges. Our lips separate just so he can drop his eyes to my chest. His fingers let go of the fabric to skim the edges of my breasts instead, thumbs brushing along my tightened nipples. I look over my shoulder at the door, finding his eyes on mine when I turn back. “Thank you, Vita Mia.”
“For what?” It’s whispered from my chest, my fingers finding the curve of his cheek.
“For not leaving me there.” His soft words bang around in my hollow chest, my eyes pooling at the reminder.
“I’m your life. You didn’t have a choice but to be fine because I’m still here.”
I wrap an arm around his head, pretending I don’t feel the gauze of his wrap against my skin as I pull him to me. I feel him adjust the blankets around our hips, pulling it further up my back and I drop a hand between us, rising enough to sink onto his erection. He palms my back as I start moving, and I bring my other arm up so I’m hugging his neck.
I press my forehead to his, breathing in every one of his exhales, savoring the cinnamon on his tongue and the spice of his skin. I’m moving slowly, drawing out our connection for as long as I can make it last. “I love you.” I whisper it against his lips, putting every ounce of the love in my heart into those three little words. I want him to feel how much I love him with them, be able to remember the way they sounded. The way they tasted on his lips.