by AJ Wolf
I lick my dry lips, my stare unwavering. “I don’t care what they are, as long as I get what I want.”
His eyes narrow at me, “What do you want, Delaney?”
I swallow, knowing that once the words are out of my mouth, there’s no taking them back. “Give me power.”
I can tell it wasn’t what he was expecting by the slight pinch of his brow, the twitch of his lip. Little mannerisms only a few would pick up.
“Teach me how to be strong.”
His finger ticks against his palm this time.
“Make me disappear.”
He wipes a hand over his mouth with that one, showing how confused he is. “And how do you suppose I do those things?”
I stare at him a moment, calculating how to say this without him dismissing me on the spot. I decide to just be direct. “I want to be part of the Famiglia.”
He matches my stare with his own, my words hanging in the air between us like the act of war they are. “You cannot be part of the Famiglia…”
I cut him off, making his eyes narrow. “Why? Because I am a woman? Because I am your sister? Neither should matter. It definitely didn’t when you were enacting your power over me yesterday.”
He crosses his arms over his chest, and I step forward, my toes brushing against the area rug at his feet. “I’m tired of never knowing. I’m tired of being weak.” I swallow, raising my chin at his look of aloofness. “I already live with monsters. I might as well be one.”
“And what if I don’t agree to help you?”
“Then I will go to little Italy. Join the Sicilian Mafia.”
His jaw clenches at the suggestion and he steps forward, trying to intimidate me with his presence. I hold my ground, glaring up into his face. “You are forbidden. Do you hear me Delaney? You cannot go there.”
“Why? Because they will let me do what you won’t?”
He closes his eyes, blowing a breath through his nose. “You will not be treated as an equal there. They will let you take the Omerta only because of your last name but nothing more. You will be married off to whoever they need a partnership with. You will not get the things you are wanting.”
“Then you should help me.” He smacks his hand onto his desk, and I speak over it. “I have nothing to lose, what do I care what they do to me?”
His nostrils flare at me, his teeth grinding so hard I can hear the scraping. “So what’s your plan then? I give you permission to take the Omerta and what? Sign you up for some boxing classes every Thursday? What the fuck, Delaney.”
My lips purse at his condescending tone. “Strength isn’t always fighting, Remy.” It feels odd using his real name, but it doesn’t feel appropriate to call him anything else. “I’m smart, I know how to make and manage money. I can easily manage one of your warehouses, but I don’t know how to demand respect.” I hold his honey gaze, hoping he’s taking me seriously. “Send me somewhere I can learn. Make me an apprentice. I’m not asking that you don’t make me start at the bottom. I’m just asking that you give me a chance to become something.”
“And what about school Delaney? What about your competitions?”
“What about them? They will never get me anywhere. There is no future for me in any of that. All I have here is the potential to become a bobble-headed trophy wife.” I know he knows I’m right, by the way the breath comes from his parted lips and the stiffness of his shoulders lessens. “I need to leave, figure out who the fuck I am without the influence of everyone here. I need to get away from Donatello, from Jessie, from you. I’m stuck in everyone’s shadow, getting dragged behind. It’s time I stepped into a different shade of light.”
A hand raises to his face and he props his knuckles under his chin. “If you leave, they will follow.”
“Not if I disappear. Not if they don’t know where I am.”
“Do you know what that would require?” His eyes shift between my own and I swallow. I know exactly what that means. “Who you are now has to die. You have to become someone else. You’re trying to hide from two men that are exceptional at what they do and even one slip, they’ll find you. I can tell them to stop looking but that doesn’t mean they will, they’ve proven they don’t care about their lives in regards to you.” He pauses with a slight shake of his head, like he can’t believe he is even considering this. “You’re ready to get rid of them but what about everyone else? Can you handle never seeing Beverly again, never seeing the girls? I’ll know where you are, but I can’t tell them if you truly want to be gone.”
The bricks just keep stacking, higher and higher until I can’t see past them. “I need to do this.”
I can see the acceptance on his face, the realization that I won’t back down. “Are you ready to hear my terms?”
I hide my hands behind my back to hide their slight shake. “Yes.”
“Five years.” He moves from me and walks to the door. “I’ll protect you for five years. You are required to stay away for that exact amount of time, after that you can do what you want. If you are found through fault of your own within that time, whoever finds you dies and you’ll be the one to do it.” He grabs the door handle. “If you want to do this, you’re going to fully commit. You don’t get to come crying back to me in a year when you’ve decided it’s not what you want. So, five years, Delaney.” He opens the door, stepping aside so I can walk through. “Is it a deal?”
“Yes.”
I roll my shoulder as I get out the car, my left pec screaming at me with the movement. The entire upper right side of my body constantly fucking hurts, the bullet wound still sore and raw. I’m only here because I know Remy is keeping me from Delaney. I can’t find her anywhere. Gone without a trace. When I woke up without her and found the positive paternity results, I almost wished the bullet had killed me. Spending the last few weeks without knowing where she is has been absolutely miserable. At least before when she left I could still see her and keep an eye on her. I have nothing without her. My house is quiet, my life is empty. I lost my title and Remy has a replacement, so I don’t even have a legitimate role in the Famiglia anymore.
Even though he is the one who pulled the trigger, he’s still my only family. I knew what I was signing up for when I joined the Famiglia and I knew what would happen if I hurt Delaney again. Remy did what needed to be done and although I wish he wouldn’t have, I understand it. What I don’t understand is why the fuck he won’t let me kill that fucking pup, Jessie Mariani.
“Hey Bev.” Beverly jumps at my voice, dropping her spoon and I laugh as she scowls at me.
“What’s wrong with you? Why are you always doing that?”
I palm the top of her head, walking past her. “Maybe you’re just oblivious to your surroundings.”
“Maybe you’re just an asshat.” She throws her spoon into the sink and it clangs around as she glowers at me.
“Probably.” I grin at her over my shoulder before heading toward Remy’s office.
“Why are you harassing my wife?”
I shut the door behind me, leaning against it while I wait for Remy to look up at me. “Because it’s entertaining.”
He hums but doesn’t comment.
“Where is Delaney?” I decide to just ask instead of trying to dig for information.
“Not here.”
“No fucking shit. Where the fuck is she Remy?” I walk up to his desk and set my palms on his desk, looking down at him.
He leans back in his chair with an unamused expression on his face. “Dead.”
I scoff at his bullshit, taking his drink off the desk and downing it. “I know she isn’t dead. I know she was here last. So where is she?”
“And why would I tell you that?”
“She sold her fucking horses Remy. She left everything including her phone. What did you do to her? Why would she leave like that?”
He folds his arms over his chest, eyes narrowing on me. I’d love to punch the look right off his fucking face.
“What did I do?
You think I’m the reason she’s gone?” He stands, hands on his desk, mimicking my pose to yell in my face. “You. You fucking prick. You and fucking Wolf are the reason she’s gone.”
My heart pounds at his accusation, my chest tightening with anger. “How did I make her leave? She knows how much I love her. She was with me before she came here and she was fine.”
“She should have let you die, you fucking moron.”
He sits back in his seat and I scowl at him. “If you wanted me dead, you would have shot me in the head. Admit you’re happy I’m here already so we can move the fuck on.”
“There is no moving on, Donatello.” He rubs his hand over his mouth, eyes leaving my face. “My sister is gone for the unforeseeable future. She won’t be here for holidays, she isn’t coming to the girl’s birthday parties, she isn’t going to be calling to give updates. She’s missing out on her family because she thought she had no other choice.”
I look at the open space on my finger, the ring I know she took with her. “Tell me where she is. I can make her come home.”
“And that…” He shifts in his seat, propping his chin on his fist. “Is exactly why she came to me. If she wants to stay gone, then she will. Her secret dies with me, Donatello.”
“You’re just fine with this? Fine with her not being here?” I can feel myself slipping. The growing panic. She can’t just be gone.
“No, I’m not fucking fine with it.” He snaps at me, his own anger rising.
“Then why did you let her leave? Why not just tell her no?” We could have made our shit work. I know we could have. Why would she just leave?
“It wasn’t my choice to make. She wanted to leave because she was tired of being stepped on. Tired of being told what to do. Who am I to dictate how her life goes?” He scrubs a hand down his face, sighing into his palm. “I’ve done that her entire life and look how that turned out.”
“She’s my fucking life, Remy. I can’t live without her.”
He shakes his head, eyes shifting over my face. “Find a new one. She did.”
“I’ll find her.” I say it through my fingers with a hand over my mouth in an attempt to stop myself from being sick.
“And do the one thing she doesn’t want? For once just fucking let her be.” He stands, grabbing a glass from the bar to pour whiskey into. “You have a baby to focus on anyway, Donatello.”
My face scrunches at the reminder, poking at the barely healed scab. “I don’t want anything to do with that woman or her baby.”
Remy turns to face me, slapping down a glass filled to the brim. “Your baby. That’s your baby, Donatello. It’s your responsibility to step up and take care of it and Olivia whether you want to or not.” He takes a swig straight from the bottle while looking at me. “You’ve lost your title, you’ve lost my sister. There’s no reason you can’t step into that role. You have nothing else.”
I down my glass while he watches.
“Treat Olivia how she should be treated and be a good dad. Maybe you’ll eventually feel something for her. You obviously liked her enough to sleep with her, so at least you’ll have that.” He raises his brow when he says it, taking another drink of the bottle. I don’t find the humor in the statement. “You don’t have a choice, Donatello. This is your life now, deal with it.”
I stare at him, not able to come up with anything to say. He’s right. I know he is. But how can I just accept Vita Mia is gone like that?
“Have you found out what you’re having?”
I frown into my glass, my rings clinking on the glass. “I never asked.” Because I don’t care. Olivia and that baby were one of the final pushes to ruining everything I’ve ever loved.
“You should. Maybe you’ll start feeling more attached if you do.” I doubt it. I know he’s trying to be helpful, but I wish he wasn’t.
“It’s been like three weeks since I found out, Remy. Three weeks since you shot me. Three weeks since my other half disappeared.” I set my cup to the side, dropping my face into my hands. “I’m supposed to be a dad in another few weeks and I’m not ready for that. I didn’t even plan to have kids for several more years, let alone weeks. You know my dad was a piece of shit and my mom was nonexistent. How the fuck am I supposed to help raise this thing?”
He sets his bottle down and crouches in front of me, making me look at him by knocking his knuckles upside my head. “First off, it’s a baby not a thing. And you’re going to be a great dad because you know how not to parent. You’re not alone in this Donatello, it’s not as hard as it seems. Feed them, clothe them, love them. It’s that easy.” He stands and I watch him. “You’re a dumbass and you somehow manage to take care of yourself, you’ll be fine with a baby.”
He smiles at his own joke and I can’t help but smile back. I know he’s right, but I wish he wasn’t. “When Beverly left, you went and got her and she didn’t want to come back.”
He nods, crossing his arms again. “I did. But she left for the wrong reasons. She didn’t specifically ask me to stay away. I just did because I knew she needed the space. Delaney wants to be gone, Donatello. Do you hear me?” He pauses for effect. “She WANTS to be gone. Let her be gone. Maybe she’ll decide she wants you in her life later on. Maybe she won’t. But the best thing for you to do is wait it out. Give her what she needs and maybe she’ll come back.”
I look down at my hands, swallowing past the ache in my chest. “What if she comes back and it’s not me she wants?”
“You move on.”
“Jessie!” Four little arms wrap around my middle, a little body on each side of me and I laugh, pretending to almost fall from their attack.
Carmella giggles at me and steps back to show me a cut on her elbow that she got while climbing rocks while Amalia continues to try and knock me down. I peel her arms from me, lifting her up to throw her over my shoulder.
“That’s it! If you want to fight, we’ll fight!” She’s giggling and hitting my back with her little fists while Carmella follows behind us, chanting, “Fight! Fight! Fight!”
Marching them out to the backyard, I jog her to the trampoline and toss her into the air to land on the springing surface. She screams in delight, popping up from the mat with a toothy smile.
I spin around and grab Carmella, “You want a piece of me too do ya?” I do the same to her, watching her come up in a fit of giggles. I start walking away before they can get me to play more, yelling over my shoulder to them. “That’ll teach you!”
Coming through the kitchen door, I almost run into Donatello’s son, Gian, as he sprints outside to play with the girls. “Sorry Jessie!”
I watch them out the window for a minute, smiling as I watch the girls teaming up to double bounce Gian. Donatello and Gian are here a lot even though Donatello isn’t an active part of the Famiglia anymore. I see him far more than I’d ever care to, but I like Gian. Donatello surprised the fuck out of me by actually stepping up to be the dad he needed to be. Him and Olivia get along fine, but they aren’t together. I think they tried after Gian was born, but it didn’t work out. I didn’t care enough to ask him why. Despite that, he seems happy. It’s not like I go out of my way to find out about him, but I see him often enough to be able to assume he’s fine with how things are right now. I wish I could say the same.
I hate being here. I hate being anywhere that Delaney used to be. Every wall she’s ever touched, every tile she’s ever walked on is stained with her perfection. I can’t go anywhere without it taunting me, laughing behind my back at what I can never have. I knew something was off the last time we were together, and I let it slide. I let her selfish heart take control once again. I let her use me because I knew she needed it. Fuck, we both needed it.
I knew I’d lost her before I even woke up in that bed alone. My Laney Girl never did like goodbyes. I probably could have found her if I had really tried, but I couldn’t get myself to do it. She wanted to leave for a reason and if she didn’t want me knowing where she was then that was her c
hoice. Even if it was a choice I’d never understand.
Knocking on the doorframe of Capo Famiglia’s office I wait for him to look up from his desk before walking into the room. “You wanted to see me?”
The Boss sits back in his seat, stopping me from closing the door. “Don’t close it, you’re about to leave.”
I frown but keep it open, waiting for him to elaborate.
“You have a new job.” He tosses a plane ticket onto his desk, motioning for me to grab it. “Your flight leaves in forty-five minutes, you’ll be texted the coordinates once you land. I’d hurry up if I were you.”
I slide the ticket off the desk. “Dallas, Texas?”
He looks up from a paper on his desk with a raised brow. “We have operations everywhere Wolf. Now, get the fuck out of here.”
Four hours later and I’m pulling up to a warehouse almost triple the size of the ones we have in Manhattan. I still don’t have a name. Just the number who messaged the coordinates, but I’m assuming I’ll figure that out here.
I park in the front, grabbing a cigarette to tuck behind my ear before I walk toward the doors. Once inside, I go straight to the front desk.
“I have a job here. Can you point me in the right direction?”
Before the girl behind the desk can answer, another voice has me frozen in place.
“He’s here for me.”
I’m almost scared to turn around, worried that my brain is playing tricks on me. I spin, my heart stopping in my chest at the sight. There stands the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on, her dimples winking at me like it’s been days instead of years.
I’m here for her. I’m just repeating what she said because my brain hasn’t quite caught up with what’s actually happening. I thought I’d never see her again and here she is, running one of the biggest warehouses I’ve ever seen owned by the Famiglia. Of course, she is. Only Delaney Luciano could run a man’s world better than any man.