The Royal Book of Oz

by L. Frank Baum

  CHAPTER 8

  THE SCARECROW STUDIES THE SILVER ISLAND

  Two days had passed since the Scarecrow had fallen into his Kingdom.He was not finding his royal duties as pleasant as he hadanticipated. The country was beautiful enough, but being Emperor ofthe Silver Islands was not the simple affair that ruling Oz had been.The pigtail on the back of his hat was terribly distracting, and hewas always tripping over his kimono, to which he could not seem toaccustom himself. His subjects were extremely quarrelsome, alwayspulling one another's queues or stealing fruit, umbrellas, and silverpolish. His ministers, the Grand Chew Chew, the Chief Chow Chow, andGeneral Mugwump, were no better, and keeping peace in the palace tookall the Scarecrow's cleverness.

  In the daytime he tried culprits in the royal court, interviewed hisseventeen secretaries, rode out in the royal palanquin, and madespeeches to visiting princes. At night he sat in the great silversalon and by the light of the lanterns studied the Book ofCeremonies. His etiquette, the Grand Chew Chew informed him, wasshocking. He was always doing something wrong, dodging the ImperialUmbrella, speaking kindly to a palace servant, or walking unattendedin the gardens.

  The royal palace itself was richly furnished, and the Scarecrow hadmore than five hundred robes of state. The gardens, with theirsparkling waterfalls, glowing orange trees, silver temples, towersand bridges, were too lovely for words. Poppies, roses, lotus andother lilies perfumed the air, and at night a thousand silverlanterns turned them to a veritable fairyland.

  The grass and trees were green as in other lands, but the sky asalways full of tiny silver clouds, the waters surrounding the islandwere of a lovely liquid silver, and as all the houses and towers wereof this gleaming metal, the effect was bewildering and beautiful.

  But the Silver Islanders themselves were too stupid to appreciatethis beauty. "And what use is it all when I have no one to enjoy itwith me," sighed the Scarecrow. "And no time to _play!"_

  In Oz no one thought it queer if Ozma, the little Queen, jumped ropewith Dorothy or Betsy Bobbin, or had a quiet game of croquet with thepalace cook. But here, alas, everything was different. If theScarecrow so much as ventured a game of ball with the gardener's boy,the whole court was thrown into an uproar. At first, the Scarecrowtried to please everybody, but finding that nothing pleased thepeople in the palace, he decided to please himself.

  "I don't care a kinkajou if I am the Emperor, I'm going to talk towhom I please!" he exclaimed on the second night, and shaking hisglove at a bronze statue, he threw the Book of Ceremonies into thefountain. The next morning, therefore, he ascended the throne withgreat firmness. Immediately, the courtiers prostrated themselves, andthe Scarecrow's arms and legs blew about wildly.

  "Stand up at once," puffed the Scarecrow when he had regained hisbalance.

  "You are giving me nervous prostration. Chew, kindly issue an edictforbidding prostrations. Anyone caught bowing in my presence againshall lose--" the courtiers looked alarmed "--his pigtail!" finishedthe Scarecrow.

  "And now, Chew, you will take my place, please. I am going for a walkwith Tappy Oko."

  The Grand Chew Chew's mouth fell open with surprise, but seeing theScarecrow's determined expression, he dared not disobey, and heimmediately began making strange marks on a long, red parchment.Happy Toko trembled as the Scarecrow Emperor took his arm, and thecourtiers stared at one another in dismay as the two walked quietlyout into the garden.

  Nothing happened, however, and Tappy, regaining his composure, tookout a little silver flute and started a lively tune.

  "I had to take matters into my own hands, Tappy," said the Scarecrow,listening to the music with a pleased expression. "Are there anywords to that song?"

  "Yes, illustrious and Supreme Sir!"

  Two spoons went down a Por-ce-Lane, To meet a China saucer, A 'talking China in a way To break a white man's jaw, Sir!

  sang Happy, and finished by standing gravely on his head.

  "Your Majesty used to be very fond of this song," spluttered Happy.(It is difficult to speak while upside down, and if you don't thinkso, try it!)

  "Ah!" said the Scarecrow, beginning to feel more cheerful, "Tell mesomething about myself and my family, Tappy Oko."

  "Happy Toko, if it pleases your Supreme Amiability," corrected thelittle silver man, somersaulting to a standstill beside theScarecrow.

  "It does and it doesn't," murmured the Scarecrow. "There is somethingabout you that reminds me of a pudding, and you tapped the drum,didn't you? I believe I shall call you Tappy Oko, if you don't mind!"

  The Scarecrow seated himself on a silver bench and motioned for theImperial Punster to sit down beside him. Tappy Oko sat downfearfully, first making sure that he was not observed.

  "Saving your Imperial Presence, this is not permitted," said Tappyuneasily.

  "Never mind about my Imperial Presence," chuckled the Scarecrow."Tell me about my Imperial Past."

  "Ah!" said Tappy Oko, rolling up his eyes, "You were one of the mostmagnificent and magnanimous of monarchs."

  "Was I?" asked the Scarecrow in a pleased voice.

  "You distributed rice among the poor, and advice among the rich, andfought many glorious battles," continued the little man. "I composeda little song about you. Perhaps you would like to hear it?"

  The Scarecrow nodded, and Tappy, throwing back his head, chanted witha will:

  Chang Wang Woe did draw the bow-- And twist the queues of a thousand foe!

  "In Oz," murmured the Scarecrow reflectively as Tappy finished, "Itwisted the necks of a flock of wild crows--that was before I had myexcellent brains, too. Oh, I'm a fighting man, there's no doubt aboutit. But tell me, Tappy, where did I meet my wife?"

  "In the water!" chuckled Tappy Oko, screwing up his eyes.

  "Never!" The Scarecrow looked out over the harbor and then down athis lumpy figure.

  "Your Majesty forgets you were then a man like me--er--not stuffedwith straw, I mean," exclaimed Happy, looking embarrassed. "She wasfishing," continued the little Punster, "when a huge silver fishbecame entangled in her line. She stood up, the fish gave a mightyleap and pulled her out of the boat. Your Majesty, having seen thewhole affair from the bank, plunged bravely into the water and,swimming out, rescued her, freed the fish, and in due time made heryour bride. I've made a song about that, also."

  "Let's hear it," said the Scarecrow. And this is what Happy sung:

  Tsing Tsing, a Silver Fisher's daughter, Was fishing in the silver water. The moon shone on her silver hair And there were fishes everywhere!

  Then came a mighty silver fish, It seized her line and with a swish Of silver fins upset her boat. Tsing Tsing could neither swim nor float.

  She raised her silver voice in fear And who her call of help should hear But Chang Wang Woe, the Emperor, Who saved and married her, what's more!

  "Did I really?" asked the Scarecrow, feeling quite flattered byHappy's song.

  "Yes," said Happy positively, "and invited me to the wedding, thoughI was only a small boy."

  "Was Chew Chew there?" The Scarecrow couldn't help wondering how theold Nobleman had taken his marriage with a poor fisherman's daughter.

  Happy chuckled at the memory. "He had a Princess all picked out foryou," he confided merrily:

  And there he stood in awful pride And scorned the father of the bride!

  "Hoh!" roared the Scarecrow, falling off the bench. "That's theOzziest thing I've heard since I landed in the Silver Islands. Tappy,my boy, I believe we are going to be friends! But let's forget thepast and think of the present!"

  The Scarecrow embraced his Imperial Punster on the spot. "Let's findsomething jolly to do," he suggested.

  "Would your Extreme Highness care for kites?" asked Happy. "'Tis afavorite sport here!"

  "Would I! But wait, I will disguise myself." Hiding his royal hatunder the bench, he put on Happy Toko's broad-rimmed peasant hat. Itturned down all 'round and
almost hid his face. Then he turned hisrobe inside out and declared himself ready.

  They passed through a small silver town before they reached the fieldwhere the kites were to be flown, and the Scarecrow was delightedwith its picturesque and quaint appearance. The streets were narrowand full of queer shops. Silver lanterns and little pennants hungfrom each door, the merchants and maidens in their gay sedans and thepeople afoot made a bright and lively picture.

  "If I could just live here instead of in the palace," mused theScarecrow, pausing before a modest rice shop. It is dangerous to stopin the narrow streets, and Happy jerked his master aside just in timeto prevent his being trodden on by a huge camel. It sniffed at theScarecrow suspiciously, and they were forced to flatten themselvesagainst a wall to let it pass. Happy anxiously hurried the Emperorthrough the town, and they soon arrived at the kite flying field. Agreat throng had gathered to watch the exhibition, and there weremore kites than one would see in a lifetime here. Huge fish, silverpaper dragons, birds--every sort and shape of kite was tugging at itsstring, and hundreds of Silver Islanders--boys, girls and grown-ups--were looking on.

  "How interesting," said the Scarecrow, fascinated by a huge dragonthat floated just over his head. "I wish Dorothy could see this, I doindeed!"

  But the dragon kite seemed almost alive, and horrors! Just as itswooped down, a hook in the tail caught in the Scarecrow's collar,and before Happy Toko could even wink, the Emperor of the SilverIslands was sailing towards the clouds. The Scarecrow, as you mustknow, weighs almost nothing, and the people shouted with glee, forthey thought him a dummy man and part of the performance. But HappyToko ran after the kite as fast as his fat little legs would carryhim.

  "Alas, alas, I shall lose my position!" wailed Happy Toko, quiteconvinced that the Scarecrow would be dashed to pieces on the rocks."Oh, putty head that I am to set myself against the Grand Chew Chew!"

  The Scarecrow, however, after recovering from the first shock, beganto enjoy himself. Holding fast to the dragon's tail, he looked downwith great interest upon his dominions. Rocks, mountains, tall silverpagodas, drooping willow trees, flashed beneath him. Truly abeautiful island! His gaze strayed over the silver waters surroundingthe island, and he was astonished to see a great fleet sailing intothe harbor--a great fleet of singular vessels with silken sails.

  "What's this?" thought the Scarecrow. But just then the dragon kitebecame suddenly possessed. It jerked him up, it jerked him down, andshook him this way and that. His hat flew off, his arms and legswhirled wildly, and pieces of straw began to float downward. Then thehook ripped and tore through his coat and, making a terrible slit inhis back, came out. Down, down, down flashed the Scarecrow and landedin a heap on the rocks. Poor Happy Toko rushed toward him withstreaming eyes.

  "Oh radiant and immortal Scarecrowcus, what have they done to you?"he moaned, dropping on his knees beside the flimsy shape of theEmperor.

  "Merely knocked out my honorable stuffing," mumbled the Scarecrow."Now Tappy, my dear fellow, will you just turn me over? There's arock in my eye that keeps me from thinking."

  Happy Toko, at the sound of a voice from the rumpled heap ofclothing, gave a great leap.

  "Is there any straw about?" asked the Scarecrow anxiously. "Why don'tyou turn me over?"

  "It's his ghost," moaned Happy Toko, and because he dared not disobeya royal ghost, he turned the Scarecrow over with trembling hands.

  "Don't be alarmed," said the Scarecrow, smiling reassuringly. "I'mnot breakable like you meat people. A little straw will make me goodas new. A little straw--straw, do you hear?" For Happy's pigtail wasstill on end, and he was shaking so that his silver shoes clatteredon the rocks.

  "I command you to fetch straw!" cried the Scarecrow at last, in anangry voice. Happy dashed away.

  When he returned with an arm full of straw, the Scarecrow managed toconvince him that he was quite alive. "It is impossible to kill aperson from Oz," he explained proudly, "and that is why my presentfigure is so much more satisfactory than yours. I do not have to eator sleep and can always be repaired. Have you some safety pins?"Happy produced several and under the Scarecrow's direction stuffedout his chest and pinned up his rents.

  "Let us return," said the Scarecrow. "I've had enough pleasure forone day, and can't you sing something, Tappy?" Running and fright hadsomewhat affected Happy's voice, but he squeaked out a funny littlesong, and the two, keeping time to the tune, came without furthermishap to the Imperial gardens. Happy had just set the royal hat uponthe Scarecrow's head and brushed off his robes when a company ofcourtiers dashed out of the palace door and came running toward them.

  "Great Cornstarch!" exclaimed the Scarecrow, sitting heavily down onthe silver bench. "What's the matter now? Here are all the Pig-headson the Island, and look how old Chew Chew is puffing!"

  "One would expect a Chew Chew to puff," observed Happy slyly. "Onewould--" But he got no further, for the whole company was upon them.

  "Save us! Save us!" wailed the courtiers, forgetting the royal edictand falling on their faces.

  "What from?" asked the Scarecrow, holding fast to the silver bench.

  "The King--the King of the Golden Islands!" shrieked the Grand ChewChew.

  "Ah yes!" murmured the Scarecrow, frowning thoughtfully. "Was thathis fleet coming into the harbor?"

  The Grand Chew Chew jumped up in astonishment. "How could yourHighness see the fleet from here?" he stuttered.

  "Not from here--there," said the Scarecrow, pointing upward andwinking at Happy Toko. "My Highness goes very high, you see!"

  "Your Majesty does not seem to realize the seriousness of thematter," choked the Grand Chew Chew. "He will set fire to the islandand make us all slaves." At this, the courtiers began banging theirheads distractedly on the grass.

  "Set fire to the island!" exclaimed the Scarecrow, jumping to hisfeet. "Then peace to _my_ ashes! Tappy, will you see that they are sentback to Oz?"

  "Save us! Save us!" screamed the frightened Silvermen.

  "The prophecy of the beanstalk has promised that you would save us.You are the Emperor Chang Wang Woe," persisted the Grand Chew Chew,waving his long arms.

  "Woe is me," murmured the Scarecrow, clasping his yellow gloves. "Butlet me think."