Always With Me

by Barbara Freethy

  "Is this the Zach?" Hannah asked.

  "Zach and I knew each other at camp," she admitted. She couldn't remember exactly how much she'd told Hannah about Zach, but she had a feeling she'd moaned about him for at least a few weeks after they'd split up.

  "Right. Camp Zach," Hannah said, her tone losing its warmth, as she now gave Zach a suspicious look. "How long are you staying in town?"

  "Not sure of my plans yet."

  "We should get back to Chloe," Gianna suggested. While she appreciated Hannah's protectiveness toward her, it wasn't necessary. She walked over to the table, not sure who would follow, but everyone came over, with Hunter and Zach pulling up extra chairs. Frowning, she realized in her haste to get back to Chloe that now Zach and Jeremy were sitting next to each other.

  "Great job, girls," Chloe said with an approving smile. "An excellent song choice. I was singing it along with you."

  "After that baby comes out, you'll be singing it with us," Hannah said.

  "Are you sure you were really singing, Gianna?" Jeremy cut in. "As I recall, you couldn't carry a tune, not even in the shower."

  "I never claimed to be a singer," she said lightly, seeing the aggressive look in his eyes. He was determined to make trouble for her.

  Jeremy looked over at Zach. "Gianna and I were once engaged. Did you know that?"

  "Really?" Zach murmured, giving her a thoughtful look.

  "I was her first fiancé. The first of many," Jeremy added. "She loves to get engaged but getting married…not so much."

  "That's enough, Jeremy," Chloe said firmly. "You don't need to keep digging at Gianna."

  "Just making conversation," he replied, with a careless shrug. "It's not like everyone in this town doesn't know she's the runaway fiancée."

  "Let's talk about something else," Hannah put in. "When do you think the camp will reopen, Hunter?"

  "Our goal is next April. We'd like to do a soft opening over spring break," Hunter replied. "But there's a lot to do before then, so we'll see."

  "Shall we get another round of drinks?" Jeremy asked, apparently needing to bring the attention back to him.

  "I'm done," she said. "I'm going to head out. It was great to see all of you."

  "I'll walk out with you," Zach said, getting to his feet.

  "Uh, all right."

  "We'll see you tomorrow—at the barbecue," Hannah reminded her.

  "Great." As she turned to leave, Jeremy gave her and Zach an odd look. She really wished Zach hadn't decided to walk out with her, but she didn't want to make a bigger deal of it than it was.

  And it was definitely not a big deal.

  Chapter Ten

  As they left Micky's, Gianna was struck by how warm it still was. It was almost midnight, but it had to be in the seventies. She didn't even need the light sweater she'd thrown over her sleeveless dress.

  "Nice night," Zach commented. "Did you park near here?"

  "I walked. It's only about six blocks to the store."

  "But it's late."

  "And this is Whisper Lake. I'll be fine."

  "Why don't I make sure of that? I'll walk you home."

  "You don't have to do that, Zach."

  "I don't have to, but I want to. Are you okay with that?"

  She hesitated, but his dark-green gaze on hers made her nerves tingle, and she couldn't say no. "I guess I can live with it."

  The night got quieter as the music from the bar drifted away. The rest of the buildings on this particular block were all closed. "I forgot how quiet it can be here," she murmured. "LA is not like this. There is always the sound of traffic, sirens, airplanes, people…"

  "Cities have a different energy."

  "They do. I went to San Francisco once. I really liked it. The steep hills, the water views, the magnificent bridges."

  "It's a great city."

  "What part do you live in?"

  "Rebecca and I lived near Golden Gate Park, but I moved into an apartment in the Marina after the fire. I have barely any furniture there. It doesn't feel like home, more like a pit stop."

  "On your way to where? Here?"

  "Maybe here. I want to be with Hailey. And this is where she is."

  "Would you really consider moving to Whisper Lake on a permanent basis? Can you do that with your job?"

  "I could make it work. I was at a big firm until a year ago. I actually quit because I thought I needed more flexibility for Hailey. With Rebecca going in and out of rehab, I was a single dad for weeks at a time."

  "That must have been difficult."

  "It was hard, but Hailey and I really bonded during those times. I decided to go solo and started taking smaller jobs I could handle on my own. I found I liked the freedom of being my own boss."

  "I can see that, but I'm sure there's not nearly as much business in this small town."

  "I can do my job from anywhere. I can fly out to job sites. I can make it work here if that's what needs to happen."

  She could hear the sense of purpose in his voice. "You really love Hailey, don't you?"

  "Very much. It happened so fast. She was this sweet, funny, adorable little girl, and she needed a dad. She actually needed both a mom and a dad, although I didn't realize that at first. But soon it became clear that while Rebecca loved Hailey, she had too many internal struggles to really give Hailey the attention she needed. So, I was there, wiping Hailey's hot forehead with a cold washcloth when she had a fever, reading to her at night, comforting her when she had a bad dream, laughing at her silly jokes. Just because I'm not her legal anything didn't mean we don't have a relationship."

  "Why didn't you make it legal?" she asked curiously. "Why didn't you marry Rebecca? You said you were engaged…"

  "I didn't realize until after we'd gotten engaged and moved in together that Rebecca had significant substance abuse problems. So, we put the brakes on. I wanted her to get clean first." He paused as they came to an intersection. "Do you want to walk and talk a little longer? There's a path to the lake through the park."

  "It's late," she said, making a weak protest because she thought she should.

  "But such a nice night. And I like talking to you."

  His words sent a rush of warmth through her, and she wanted that feeling to last a little longer. "I guess we could keep walking and talking."

  "Good." He put a hand on the small of her back as they changed directions.

  It was a brief touch, but one she liked way too much.

  Zach let go of her as they crossed the street and moved through the beachfront park toward a running path that wound along the lake. There was an empty bench past the swings that looked out over the water about ten feet away.

  She sat down on the bench as a slightly cooler breeze lifted her hair, but it was welcome in the warmth of the night and the heat of Zach's presence.

  "You're not cold, are you?" he asked.

  "No, it feels good." She drew in a breath. "I love the air up here, the sound of the lake rippling against the shore. It's peaceful and at times like this, I feel like it's just the two of us."

  "I used to feel that way a lot when we were hanging out—that it was just the two of us, and everyone else faded away."

  "That's because we were always sneaking away from camp, trying to find a private spot. The counselors really should have done a better job of keeping track of us. We could have gotten into even more trouble."

  "Very true."

  "You were a bad influence on me. I never broke rules until I met you." She glanced over at him as a smile curved his lips. "But I have to admit you made breaking the rules very fun."

  "We didn't get into too much trouble together. I did most of that on my own time." Zach leaned back against the bench, so close his shoulder was almost touching hers.

  She looked up at the sky, at the bright full moon, and the multitude of stars. "It's so bright out here."

  "You look good in the moonlight."

  "That's a good line. But you don't need to waste time
flirting with me. I'm off men."

  "For how long?"

  "As long as it takes me to figure out what the hell I'm doing with my life."

  "So, a couple of days?"

  She made a face at him. "Probably a little longer than that."

  "The guy at the bar—Jeremy…he was fiancé number one, right?"

  "Yes," she said with a little sigh. "I seem to be running into him every time I turn around."

  "He's a little bitter."

  "You think? I don't know why. It was a long time ago."

  "Maybe having you in town has brought some feelings back."

  "Feelings of hatred, perhaps. It's sad. We were friends at one time, even before we got romantically involved. But to be honest, now he feels like a stranger—an angry stranger."

  "I assume he's still single."

  "That's what I hear. He dated someone for a couple of years after me, but I don't know what happened. Anyway, let's not talk about him. Did you make progress on your camp drawings? Is there going to be anything new and exciting at the camp?"

  "How about a real train to ride?" he asked with a cocky smile. "How cool would that be?"

  "Very cool. The kids will love it."

  "Hunter wants to incorporate the history of Whisper Lake and the role the Orphan Train played into its creation."

  "The train has always been an important part of camp and town lore. It embodies the spirit of welcome and family, even if the family isn't tied by blood." She paused, thinking that Zach's attempt to get Hailey back into his life was very much in keeping with that theme. "It's like you, trying to forge a family with a little girl you love but isn't legally yours."

  He tipped his head. "I wish I could get the Carvers to think that way. Ron Carver came by the camp today. He tried every threat he could think of, including sabotaging the plans for the camp build."

  "Can he really do that?"

  "He seems to feel he has power. I'm sure he can make Hunter's life fairly miserable. I offered to bow out, but Hunter wants to keep me on. He doesn't like bullies."

  "Neither do you. You always stood up against them at camp. Remember Joe Spagnoli? How he used to torture little Evan Kinsey? But you took Joe down one day. You stepped right in front of Evan, just in time to take Joe's fist to your face."

  "He felt the force of my fist, too."

  "But you had to clean the lodge floors for a solid week after that. I never thought it was fair you got into trouble for fighting when you were standing up for Evan."

  "It was worth it to shut Joe down." He smiled. "And I think I scored a few points with you at the time."

  "I did think you were amazing," she admitted. "My own personal hero."

  "And then I failed you."

  She didn't want to talk about that anymore. "Let's get back to the present. Besides threatening you, did Ron have anything else to say? Did he tell you how Hailey was doing?"

  "He said she's good now, and he doesn't want her to slide backward because I show up. He swears he's protecting her. Maybe he genuinely believes that. But this isn't the end. I'm not going to quit. I will find a way to see her."

  "I'm surprised you haven't shown up at their house."

  "I did two months ago, but they wouldn't let me in. And then I got legal counsel who suggested I find a way to make my peace with them. I'm trying to be patient, work through Mitch, but nothing is happening, and Ron and Helen are digging in deeper."

  She could hear the frustration in his voice. It was killing him to have things so unsettled with Hailey. "They're probably afraid that one visit will lead you to want custody. They don't want to give you an inch for fear you'll take a mile."

  "I don't think I have the ability to get custody. If Hailey was older, maybe she could say what she wanted, but she's seven. I'm also not married. And the fire has suspicions attached to it. If we go to court, they'll do everything they can to portray me as the man who got Rebecca into drugs and the reason she lost her life. While we could possibly shield Hailey from that now, what about the future? What about when she's old enough to ask what happened, maybe even to read court transcripts? I don't want her to hate her mother. I don't want her to realize that she could have died because of what her mom did that night."

  "I don't know if you'll be able to protect her from that truth forever. Secrets have a way of coming out and kids grow up to be adults who want answers."

  "You're right. Speaking of which…"

  "I wasn't trying to change the subject to me," she said quickly.

  "I'd be happy to talk about you. Anyone recognize the girl in the photo?"

  "Not yet. I only asked a couple of people. It felt awkward. I probably need to keep thinking about whether I'm taking the best course. But that is a decision for another day." She let out a sigh. "Tonight was fun. I've missed seeing my girlfriends, just relaxing and having a good time. I forgot what it was like to be with people who've known you your whole life."

  "Your friends seemed very nice, and I liked your singing. I didn't think you were off-key at all."

  "Oh, I'm sure I was, but it wasn't about that; it was about doing something fun with Hannah and Lizzie."

  "Hannah seems like a firecracker."

  "She is definitely that. She is also a nurse—super smart, very caring, but she can also be a little bossy. She's very good at calling the shots, so we usually follow."

  "Hannah didn't like me at all. I have a feeling there was some trash talking done at some point."

  "That point being fourteen years ago. I may have mentioned that you broke my heart."

  "May have?" he asked with a raise of his brow. "Hannah looked like she wanted to put a dagger through my heart when I said my name."

  "It wasn't that bad. But Hannah can be protective."

  "That's a good trait in a friend. I do wonder what happened to your locket, though, since I didn't take it."

  "I don't know. I rarely took it off, but that day I did when I went to take a shower, and it disappeared. There was a point when I actually wondered if Rebecca had done it. She was jealous that we were hanging out, that you weren't interested in her at all. Which is why it's still so odd to me that you and she ended up together."

  "Like I said, she was different as an adult, at least I thought she was. Who knows?"

  "Why do you think she got into drugs?"

  "She used to say that there was a darkness in her soul that terrified her. When it got to be too much, she drank, and then the drinking escalated into taking drugs. Having Hailey forced Rebecca to clean herself up for a while, but then it got hard again. Or maybe she was unhappy with me and didn't know how to get out of it. That's what the Carvers think."

  "Is it true?"

  "I don't think I was the reason she did anything. In retrospect, I suspect that Rebecca liked me for Hailey more than she liked me for herself. I think that's why she clung to me. I was a good father for her kid. But there were problems in our relationship that were probably insurmountable."

  "Why did you stay?" she asked curiously.

  "I didn't want to leave until she was clean, until she could be a good mother."

  "So, you were both hanging on for Hailey."

  "I guess we were. I made some mistakes," he said heavily.

  "Join the club." She gave him a commiserating smile. "But all we can do is move forward, right? We can't change the past, no matter how much we want to."

  "It's hard to let the guilt go. I feel like I could have done more."

  "I know," she said softly, wishing she could ease the pain in his eyes. "You've always carried more emotional weight than anyone ever knew. On the outside, you were the funny, charming, outgoing guy who everyone wanted to hang out with. But there was a lot more to you than most of the kids realized. You were torn up about your dad when we were at camp. You were worried about your little brother and your mom. You blamed yourself for not talking your dad into quitting his commission and coming back home."

  "I forgot about that. I did blame him. He put h
is job before us."

  "It wasn't just a job to him."

  "No, it was his calling." Zach gave her a long look. "I can't believe I told you all that. But you've always been easy to talk to."

  "Likewise."

  "It feels so good to have you here, Gianna." He shifted sideways, looking straight into her eyes. "I didn't expect that you would be in Whisper Lake, but I'm very glad that you are."

  "It's only temporary until my aunt gets better. Probably for the summer."

  He gave her a slow, sexy smile. "Well, summer is our best time together."

  "We've only ever known each other in the summer. We could be terrible in winter or spring or fall."

  "Who knows? But hot nights…those were always good for us."

  Butterflies danced through her stomach. "You're flirting again. I told you not to waste your time."

  "Because you're off men."

  "Yes." Maybe if she said it often enough, she'd believe it, because right now, she felt herself leaning toward Zach—getting sucked into the magnetic, irresistible pull that had always made it really hard to say no to him. "I should go home."

  "Or." He slid one hand around the back of her neck. "We could get our kiss out of the way."

  "What are you talking about?" she asked breathlessly.

  "You know it's coming, Gianna. You're curious. I'm curious."

  "I'm not curious."

  "You want to know if it would be as good as it once was."

  "It's never as good as you remember," she said, but his fingers were stroking her neck, and he was so close now his hot breath brushed her cheek.

  "Let's find out," he said huskily, his mouth coming down on hers.

  His lips were warm, firm, teasing, sexy…and as she slid into the kiss, heat ran through her, the same delicious, thrilling desire that she'd felt a very long time ago.

  Her brain was telling her to end this now before all the old feelings came back. But her body wasn't listening to her brain. Her senses were tingling, her nerves were firing, and one kiss turned into two, then three. As they angled their heads one way, then another, her world became completely about Zach. She wanted the kisses to go on forever, wanted to explore his mouth, run her hands down his body, breathe in when he breathed out. She wanted to feel completely connected to him in every way, and that was a terrifying thought.