Seeking Kokopelli

by Shelley Munro

  “Don’t move,” the medic ordered. “Let me check your head.”

  “But Nate—” Two tears ran down his face, and his turmoil showed in his voice. “Nate is—”

  “It’s okay,” Morgan said, his hand briefly squeezing Adam’s shoulder. “They cut him out. He’s safe.”

  “Nate’s okay, Adam. His leg is cut badly, but he’s not gonna die. He’s okay,” J.T. added.

  The fight went out of Adam, and he nodded weakly. “Someone better ring Susan at the studio.”

  “Cade’s already doing that.”

  “Are you almost done? I need to check on Nate,” Adam told the medic. Everything would be better if he could just see Nate.

  “Do you have a headache?”

  “A bit,” Adam conceded, minimizing the pain throbbing through his head.

  “Any sharp pains?”

  Adam hesitated, and the medic’s mouth firmed. “You need to go to the hospital to get your head checked out.”

  “Nate’s going to the hospital too,” Morgan said quickly.

  Adam nodded and wished he hadn’t. He winced. The medic, who had been watching him, frowned and hustled him into the ambulance.

  “We’ll find a cab and follow you to the hospital,” Cade said.

  “Thanks.” Man, his head hurt. He gingerly prodded the bump on the side of his skull and his fingers came away bloody. Shit, he hated the sight of blood. Hurriedly, he looked away, but the vision of red had seared across his retinas.

  A thump beside him made him jerk his head. A pained groan escaped at the resulting agony.

  “You okay?” Nate asked in an anxious voice. He leaned heavily on a medic, and blood covered his jeans. The medic had hacked off the left leg of his jeans, cutting it away from his leg, and fresh blood glistened on the padding covering the wound. It was too much for Adam. His eyes rolled back, and that was the last he remembered.

  “Medic!” Nate snapped. “Something’s wrong with him.”

  “He’s probably fainted,” Cade said from outside. “He’s not very good with blood.”

  A medic brushed past him to check Adam. “Breathing and color is good. Pulse feels normal. We’ll get him checked out at the emergency room, but I think your friend is right. He’s fainted.”

  Fainted. What a girl! Nate smiled despite the pain throbbing along his left leg. He wouldn’t let Adam forget this in a hurry.

  Chapter Eleven

  After a three-hour wait, they released both of them from the hospital, although under protest. Adam couldn’t wait to get back to the motel. He wanted to go to bed with Nate beside him and sleep for as long as it took before this nightmare ended.

  He’d thought and thought about the man’s words, the fact that someone had paid hard cash in order to see him dead. No matter how much Adam didn’t want to believe it, “just” could be his brother, Justin. That would make sense, apart from the fact he hadn’t seen him for years. The more he considered the idea, the more ludicrous it seemed, yet the Kokopelli tattoo had returned to his chest. What was up with that?

  His head snapped up, his eyes widening as it hit him. What if Justin had lost his powers? If Kokopelli died, the powers passed automatically to the closest relative. Fuck, what if his brother had died and no one had seen fit to inform him? He hadn’t considered that earlier. Pain sliced through him, and it wasn’t entirely due to the bump on his head. Despite the gap between him and his father, the open disapproval of his chosen lifestyle, he still thought of them as his family. A part of him had thought they would change their minds about disowning him.

  What if they had another candidate in mind for Kokopelli and he stood in the way? If he and Justin were both dead, then would the Kokopelli powers pass to their oldest cousin? Would his father and the other elders take things to that extreme to protect the traditional ways?

  He needed to go home. That much was obvious.

  “I need to go home,” he said out loud.

  “Where’s home?” Morgan asked.

  “A small dot on the map in New Mexico. I doubt you’ve heard of Gainesville, because there’s not much there. It’s a two-hour drive to the nearest town.”

  “Why is it so important for you to go home now? Can’t it wait?” Cade asked.

  The cab pulled up in front of the motel. They climbed out, and Morgan paid the driver. J.T. arrived not long after with Susan and Nate.

  “Quick meeting,” Susan said.

  They all ended up in Adam and Nate’s room. Ignoring his headache, Adam helped Nate onto the bed and took the crutches, placing them beside the bed for Nate to grab when he needed them.

  “I’ve cancelled your gigs for the next week to give you all time to recover. The doctor said Adam needed a week, that his headaches might take a while to subside. You’ve made good progress with putting down the tracks for the new album, so I’m not worried about that. Is there anything else I need to take care of? Anything else I can do to help before I head out of town?”

  “Thanks, Susan,” Cade said for all of them. “I think we could all do with some downtime after today.”

  “Thanks.” Adam seconded Cade. He knew they’d lose money by cancelling the gigs for the next week, but they could do with a break. And it would give him time to visit home.

  Susan left before anyone spoke.

  “Can I have a glass of water?” Nate asked. “It’s time to take my pills.”

  “I’ll get it,” Morgan said.

  Adam studied Nate, taking in the pale face and tight lips. He edged closer, needing to touch Nate, to reassure himself his lover was okay. He reached for Nate’s hand, his heart thudding when Nate glanced at him and shifted his hand to clasp his. Their fingers laced together, and some of Adam’s panic faded.

  Morgan returned, arched his brows a little when he noticed their linked hands, but he handed over the water to Nate. He retrieved the pain pills from his pocket and shook out two for Nate.

  “I’m going to go home,” Adam said.

  The guys stopped talking and stared at him.

  “Don’t you think you need to take it easy?” Morgan asked.

  “You’re not in any condition to drive,” Nate said. “Neither am I.”

  “I don’t care. I’ll hire a driver if I have to.”

  “What’s so important that you need to go home this week?” Cade asked.

  Adam swallowed, debated telling a lie. “I need to see—” He broke off, swallowed again and went with the truth. “I think either my father or brother had something to do with the accident. I spoke with the driver of the gray car before he croaked. Someone paid him to kill me.”

  “What?” Cade demanded.

  J.T.’s brows rose. “Who?”

  “You believe that nutcase?” Morgan asked in clear disbelief.

  “You think your family would try to kill you?” J.T. asked.

  The questions came quick and fast, and finally Adam held up his hand in protest. “I’m sorry. I can’t go into details—”

  “Dammit, Adam. We’re your family,” Morgan said. “You need to tell us what’s going on.”

  “We’re involved, whether you like it or not.” Cade glowered at him. “Why would you want to visit your family if you think one of them is trying to kill you?”

  “Tell them,” Nate said in a gruff voice. “They’re right. You’re closer to them than anyone else. You guys have been together for a long time, gone through both good and bad. If you can’t trust them, then there’s no hope for the band continuing.”

  Adam considered Nate’s suggestion. Secrecy about Kokopelli was a given. It was something private, something most people wouldn’t believe and others assumed was a legend. He glanced at Nate, saw the encouragement on his face. A quick glimpse of his other friends showed curiosity and determination. Clearly, they wouldn’t leave until he spilled the truth. Finally, he nodded and started to unbutton his shirt.

  “Whoa!” J.T. held up his hand. “If this is turning kinky, I’m out of here.”

  Adam
barked out a laugh, then groaned at the throb of his head. “Shut up,” he muttered. “Don’t make me laugh. It hurts. I need to show you something.” He peeled off the shirt so they could all see the tattoo that had grown and colored during the last month. “This is a Kokopelli tattoo. Actually, it’s more than a tattoo. It’s a mark or brand that tells others of my powers.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” J.T. asked.

  “I’m Kokopelli. You must have heard of the hunchback who travels through the Southwest making sure both the crops and women are fertile?”

  “Bullshit,” Morgan said.

  “It’s not,” Nate said. “Have you noticed how the trees are flourishing on this street? How the flowers in the gardens here at the motel have flowered, almost overnight? That is not a tattoo. Take a close look. It’s not inked onto the skin.”

  “A tattoo of that magnitude would take months to complete,” Cade said slowly.

  “And Adam has been with us or with Nate most of that time,” J.T. finished.

  “You’re really Kokopelli?” Morgan’s voice still held skepticism.

  “Yeah. When I lived at home, I was Kokopelli. Then my father found out about me. They performed a ceremony, and I don’t know how or why, but the mark faded from my chest overnight. It was the weirdest thing,” Adam said. “They didn’t like a gay Kokopelli. Everyone shunned me, and it was easier for me to leave than put up with the abuse.”

  “So why has the Kokopelli come back?” Morgan asked. “What does it mean?”

  “I don’t know. I need to talk to them, ask questions. If I see them in person, I can read their body language and get a better handle on what’s happening.”

  Cade nodded. “I’m still not sure I buy into this Kokopelli stuff, but I agree that you need to check out things at home. We’ll hire a car and I’ll drive.”

  “I’ll go and organize it,” Morgan said, jumping to his feet.

  “We’ll leave tomorrow morning,” J.T. added.

  “What? You’re all coming with me?” Adam asked, part of him in shock.

  “Hell, yeah,” Cade said. “You need someone to watch your back.”

  “Thanks.” A touch on his hand claimed Adam’s attention.

  “I told you they were family,” Nate said. “You can trust them.”

  Adam nodded, an ache in his chest and the tightness at the back of his eyes choking him up. He’d never expected this sort of support.

  “You would do anything for them,” Nate said quietly, watching the other band members as they discussed a plan of attack. “They know that and want to return the favor, show how much they care.”

  It was true. A lone tear trickled down his cheek, and he hurriedly swiped it away before anyone noticed. He coughed to clear the obstruction in his throat. “Ah, Cade?”

  “Yeah?”

  “If you’re having sex with your lady, you should be extra careful from now on. Keep her well away from me.”

  “Why?” Cade asked, frowning at him with suspicion. “She didn’t make a pass at you, did she?”

  Nate laughed, and Adam shot him a wink. “No,” Adam said. “I’m saying that unless you want to have a kid, you should be very careful. I’m telling you that Kokopelli’s powers are real. They work.”

  Cade made a panicked, almost choking sound deep in his throat. “Well, fuck me,” he said finally.

  “Just as well you’re serious about her,” Nate said drowsily.

  Morgan chuckled. “Thanks for offering, Cade. We might have to take advantage of your offer if we intend to keep Adam around.”

  “You…I didn’t mean literally, asshole.” Cade rolled his eyes in horror.

  A hoot of laugher escaped J.T., and it started them all off. They didn’t stop laughing for a long time.

  “J.T, are you sure you want to keep driving?” Adam asked. “One of us can take over for you.”

  “Instead of worrying about me, you should work on a plan. What if your brother or your father really does have something to do with the dead assassin guy? If that’s the case, we’re driving into danger.”

  Nate leaned between the front seats of the SUV. “One thing I don’t understand—if you used to be Kokopelli, how did a ceremony transfer the job to your brother?”

  “There’s an element of mystique about Kokopelli,” Adam said, turning around to look at them. “Usually the powers go to the oldest male in our family. After my father reached the retirement age, for some reason the Kokopelli tattoo appeared on me. It caused problems in our family. My father accused my mother of straying, and my brother Justin hated me. The gossip spread through the village like mass hysteria. People started to whisper about my mother and my brother. The gossip killed her. She caught pneumonia and seemed to give up the fight to live.

  “My brother had blood tests done, and there’s no doubt he’s my full brother.”

  “Yeah, but did the villagers believe it?” J.T. asked. “I know what small town gossip is like. It carries on for years, constantly resurrected and embroidered.”

  Adam snorted. “Justin looks like my father, but they still doubted, at least until I left. Anyway, getting back to the time when my father kicked me out of home. Once the news I was gay came out, they wanted me gone. In the records, they found a ceremony which was acceptable under radical circumstances. The villagers voted in favor of the ceremony, they performed it at midnight under the full moon and, as I said, the next day Justin bore the Kokopelli tattoo. I haven’t had contact with my family or visited home since then.”

  “Fuck, that’s archaic,” Cade muttered. “My brother and I raised hell when we were kids. We were always in trouble, but my family would never force me to leave home.”

  “You’re not gay,” Adam pointed out, his voice holding a touch of bitterness, despite the fact he’d told himself he’d made peace with the past.

  “We haven’t kicked you out of the band,” Morgan reminded him.

  “You need me,” Adam said.

  “Hate to tell you this, hotshot, but everyone is replaceable.” Cade winked at Morgan and Nate. “We only put up with you because your pretty face brings in the chicks.”

  Adam flipped him the bird and leaned forward. “The turnoff is on the right.”

  J.T. indicated right and left the freeway. The scrubby plains and the red dirt looked so familiar. Adam swallowed, concentrating fiercely on even breathing. He focused on a pronghorn, watching the antelope lift its head and bound away when their vehicle approached. A tight knot of apprehension filled his gut, and the feelings rushed in on him. He remembered how he’d felt when his father had told him in a cold voice to leave. The finality in his father’s words—the inherent disappointment. He thought he’d shed the pain, the sense of isolation and betrayal, and left it in the past. Not so. One glimpse of the familiar scenery, the smell of the sage, and it felt as if he were that kid again, the one who’d battled with sexual identity and heavy responsibilities as Kokopelli.

  Wasn’t it just a kick in the head, knowing that somehow the responsibility had returned to him? A full circle.

  A hand squeezed his shoulder. “You okay?” Nate’s soft voice whispered across his ear.

  “Yeah.” Adam sighed. “No. I thought I’d come to terms with it all, but coming home has brought everything back. My father was cold. At the end, he acted as if I was a stranger.”

  “What about your brother?” J.T. asked. “It sounds as if he had a rough deal too.”

  “Justin and I didn’t get on. We argued a lot as kids, with Justin lording it over me, saying he was special because he’d become Kokopelli after our father. When the tattoo formed on me instead, he didn’t handle it well.”

  “Neither did the people around you,” Nate said. “You have nothing to feel guilty about. You don’t need to apologize to anyone or do anything just because of that tattoo on your chest. You’re a musician, Adam, and a damn good one. You’re living the life you want, and don’t let any of them tell you different.”

  Adam sw
allowed at the heartfelt friendship and loyalty in Nate’s words. Dare he say love? He swallowed again and wiped the palms of his hands on his jeans. Nerves jumped inside him, making him feel as if he’d pulled an all-nighter and subsisted on coffee throughout the night. “Take the next turn on the left.”

  “Who are we going to see first? Your father or your brother?”

  “Justin, probably, although I have no idea where he lives. I doubt he still lives at home.”

  “Why don’t we stop and ask these kids up ahead?” J.T. asked. “I’ll do the talking, in case they recognize you.”

  “I’ve been gone for almost six years. I don’t think they’d know me.”

  J.T. slowed and pressed the control to lower his window. “Hey, can you guys tell me where Justin James lives?”

  The teen’s dark eyes widened as he glanced past J.T. and sighted Adam. “Mr. James lives on the other side of town. Second road on the right after you pass the gas station.”

  The kid behind him whispered something, and Adam’s stomach bucked, his mind back in his teenage days when everyone gossiped about him and his family. Mostly about him.

  “You guys are Stampede,” the first teen blurted.

  “Yes,” J.T. replied.

  “Are you doing a gig here?”

  “Not this time,” J.T. said easily. “We’re visiting friends. Thanks for the directions.” With a hand raised in farewell, he accelerated smoothly before the teens could fire more questions at them.

  “I can’t believe the kids out here have heard of us,” Adam said, shock still rippling through him. They must know he was Justin’s brother, and yet they hadn’t mentioned a thing about his…history. Weird. The father he remembered would have banned anything and everything related to his music. The gay one. The fag. He still remembered the jeers, the taunts.

  “Stop panicking,” Nate said. “Take some deep breaths.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with me. I don’t need handling.”

  “If there’s nothing wrong, then why are you snapping?” Morgan asked.

  “I’m not.”