“Robin, I—”
“I’m not done. He had a breakdown because he was torn in two, Holly. He wanted to choose you, I know he did. Look, I’m not saying what you two did to Kate was okay, it’s far from that, but all of us knew my brother would never get over you. As much as my mother wanted to believe otherwise, we knew the truth. I prayed for something to happen, so that he wouldn’t go through this wedding and then something did. That emergency got him off that plane. I now I know it was a higher power. Because if he didn’t get off that plane, my brother would still be a stranger, married to the wrong woman and aching for another. When the phone call came, Amelia fought with my mother about a little girl that belonged to you and that looked just like my brother. None of us knew that you’d returned. But everything just made sense and we all knew what he did, except Kate. I now know that it was never her that brought him back, but you.”
“Robin, why are you telling me this?”
“Because you need to know how much you fucked up my brother when you left, Holly.”
Tears fell over her cheek. “I didn’t mean to.”
“It’s not my point. We all know the truth. My point is, he was a mess when you left, beyond repair and you were still alive. You can’t die. You have to fight, please.”
Holly nodded.
“You hear me? I cannot lose Jake, Holly. Because if you die, there is no coming back for him. Jamie would lose not just her mother, but her father as well, and those two boys might as well become Amelia’s as he would never even look at them.”
“Okay, I get it! Just do what you have to and keep my heart beating. I will do the rest.”
“Deal.” Robin sighed and wiped more tears away as Aggie walked into the room.
“No, time to faff, Aggie. I need her prepped and ready, bring her to OR two, asap.”
“Sure thing, Dr. Peters.” Aggie smiled at Holly. “You ready to fight, baby?”
Holly didn’t answer. She was finally seeing the whole picture of how she’d broken Jake.
“Baby?” Aggie spoke again.
She wiped her tears and smiled.
“Sorry, Aggie.”
“You ready to fight?”
“I have no choice.”
“I’m glad that you know that.”
She adjusted the IV, and the door opened. Amelia and Jamie walked in and the images in her mind had to get pushed to the side.
“Good, you’re awake.”
“Mommy!” Jamie shrieked. “You okay? Is Cooper and Bradley coming, Momma?”
“Shhh, baby. It’s a hospital.” She smiled as Amelia helped her on the bed and Jamie snuggled into Holly’s arms. “Yes, they are. I need you to be a good girl for Aunty Amelia, okay?”
She nodded.
“My big girl.”
Amelia took crayons and a coloring book out of her bag with a few stories.
Holly took one from her and read it to Jamie.
Her voice wanted to break.
“You okay?” Amelia mouthed and Holly smiled, nodding. But she was far from okay. The real picture Robin painted of that time she left was embedded in her mind. She now understand why Jake was so angry at her for keeping the boys.
A part of her felt like a horrible mom. What would happen to her little girl if she didn’t make it? Girls needed their mothers. She was so selfish.
Aggie came back into the room after a few minutes.
“It’s time, sweetheart.”
“Let’s go, pumpkin.” Amelia reached out her hand to Jamie and she hopped off the bed.
Holly touched Amelia’s hand. “Thank you,” she mouthed.
Amelia just closed her eyes and smiled, shaking her head.
“Love you, Mommy,” Jamie said.
“Love you more,” she said, exaggerating her voice, which made them all laugh. Aggie and a few of the other nurses started to wheel her out of the room.
“Where’s Armand?” she asked Aggie.
“He’s waiting in the OR.”
“Jake?”
“He’s going to try his best to be there, sweetheart.”
She nodded. “Are the boys going to be fine?”
“They are Peters, but most of all, they are Scallangers,” Aggie said. “They’ll fight because they’ll know how brave their mother was.”
“I’m not dead yet, Aggie.”
“Oh, don’t even think about it, baby.”
She chuckled.
She was exhausted, but she knew this was just the beginning. The chemo was going to break her. But she had no choice. Robin’s earlier words haunted her.
Jake loved her that much, she owed it to him to survive.
Why didn’t she know he loved her like that? She should’ve known that by now.
Fifteen
JAKE
He rushed out of the operating room, trusting Rod to close up and finish with the patient.
Out of breath, he pushed through the doors that led to OR 2.
He could see his father already busy cutting and Robin waiting. He grabbed a face mask and put it on, then squirted some disinfectant onto his hands, rubbing it in as he walked into the operating room.
He walked in. “Is she already under?”
“She said she loved you,” Gus said. “Come here, it’s almost time to meet your first boy.”
Armand was waiting next to an incubator. Jake’s heart pounded a million beats per second.
She didn’t even know that he was here.
He bent down and kissed her softly on her head as he took a seat right next to the anesthesiologist, who was monitoring Holly.
His father tugged and pulled, and finally released the tiniest human being.
He cut the cord and the air in Jake’s lungs disappeared.
“Nurse, can I please get a tissue,” Gus asked and everyone laughed when he saw it wasn’t for him but for his father’s own eyes.
“Hey there, Bradley. I’m your pops, and welcome to the crazy bunch. I’m sorry we couldn’t keep you in there any longer, but know this. We love you so, so very much. Be a brave boy and just breathe, okay?”
Gus handed the first boy to Armand and Jake rushed to Armand’s side, who was trying to get Bradly to breathe.
Small sounds finally left his mouth.
“It’s all you are going to get, daddy,” he said to Jake.
Jake looked down at his son, and his heart felt like it wanted to burst. He was so tiny.
Armand put him in the incubator and waited for his brother.
And then Cooper came and it was the same thing all over. His father welcoming him into this world and his uncle trying to get him to take his first breath.
Armand worked fast to intubate Cooper and Bradley, then he hooked them onto machines. Jake’s legs wanted to give out
He finally understood why Holly wanted to keep them in there.
They were not ready to be in this world, and it would be his fault if they didn’t make it.
“I’ve got them, Jake. You need to breathe and be strong for your boys.” Armand pierced him with a fierce but calm look as he carried on working on them.
They were wheeled out of the OR, to the NICU and Jake went over to Holly again as his sister took over.
He didn’t want to look. He’d seen her scans, knew the cancer was taking over her body.
“Robin,” he whispered.
“What is it?”
“Don’t let her die, please.”
“Not intending to. I’ve got this.”
He rested his head softly on Holly’s and prayed like he’d never prayed in his entire fucking life.
The operation was finally over and Jake was drained and exhausted.
Robin had managed to cut most of the cancer away, and she believed that with chemotherapy, the rest would disappear.
Holly had lost half of her liver, a part of her one lung and one of her kidney’s. The other one still carried some of the cancer, but that would disappear with what Robin had in mind. The cancer had spread to all of
Holly’s reproductive organs, so Robin had to perform a hysterectomy. There was no sign of cancer in her breasts, so Robin felt it was safe to keep them.
They took her to the ICU and Jake headed to the cafeteria. He needed some food to energize himself, and he needed some air. He ate his sandwich outside, filling his lungs with as much air as he could.
When he was done, he headed to the NICU to go check on his sons.
“Congratulations on becoming a new daddy again,” the NICU staff sang when he entered.
They all hugged and kissed him. Many boy balloons stood on the tables with tons flowers.
He picked up one of the cards.
Bernice and Leo, another card was from the staff at P&E.
The flowers was from his mom. He wanted to chuck it away.
He didn’t need anything from her, including her stupid flowers.
He tore the card up and saw the nurses watching him.
“Just dispose of it, please.” He gave it to the closest nurse and she smiled.
He found Rodney and Teresse helping Armand.
Rodney saw him standing against the window and show him the whoop-whoop movement.
“How’s mom?” he mouthed.
Jake gestured that she was sleeping and Rod smiled as he continued assisting Armand.
Jake trusted Armand but he would be more at ease when Frank got here.
Footsteps barreled down the hall, and he thanked whoever was listening today as Frank came running toward the NICU.
“Are they okay?” Frank asked and Jake nodded. He smiled as he rushed passed him and into the NICU.
He watched Frank work. Slapping Armand softly on his shoulder and then Rod laughed before he turned around and walk out.
“Congratulations,” Rod finally said.
“How are they?”
“Tiny, but Armand said they have the Peters in them.”
Jake laughed.
“She good?”
“Robin got nearly all of the cancer. She said the rest would be gone when she went through chemo.”
“Yikes, it’s going to be tough, but whatever you need, I’m there.”
“Thanks, Rod.” They both watched Frank and Armand through the window.
“You think it’s safe to leave them for a few minutes?”
Rod smiled. “They are in the best hands now, Jake, go to Holly.”
Jake went to the ICU.
Holly was still asleep and Jane sat next to her.
She had been with them when they went to see the Christmas lights but had gone to do some last minute shopping. She wasn’t at the restaurant when Holly fainted.
Tears welled up in his eyes again as he saw her fragile body.
She was on a ventilator.
He wiped away the tears as Jane got up to hug him.
“We have to be strong now. She will fight, you hear?”
He nodded.
“How’s Bradley and Cooper doing?”
“Tiny, but they are fighting.” His voice was thick with emotion.
“Jake, what’s wrong?”
“I wanted to abort them. I’m never going to forgive myself for it.”
“We all wanted Holly to terminate the pregnancy. You are not alone in this.”
He nodded.
She went over to Holly and bent over her.
She kissed her head. “You have to fight now, sweetheart. Rest, as we both know you are going to need it.”
He took the chair next to Jane. Each one occupying their own thoughts.
“This is really like déjà vu. Except for you.”
“I’m so sorry, Jane.”
She smiled. “We both know that it isn’t your fault.”
“Yeah it is, I got her pregnant again.”
She chuckled. “It takes two to get someone pregnant, unless you want to tell me that you forced yourself on top of her.”
He laughed too. “No, I didn’t.”
“Then there’s nothing to be sorry about.”
Jake sniffed. “They are so tiny.”
“Yes, I can only imagine. Where you there?”
“Yes, they got a big Peters welcome into this world.”
She chuckled. “Believe me, it’s better than the Scallanger one.”
Silence filled them again. “Was she hooked up like this the last time too?”
“No, but the last time she didn’t have cancer, Jake. She had other problems. Her heart failed a few times, it scared the shit out of me and not to mention what she looked like. She is in much better condition this time, meaning you did good.”
He smiled.
“You understand why I can’t forgive my mother, right?”
“You don’t forgive people because of what they did, Jake. You forgive them for you. It’s one of the most important things Holly taught me.” A tear escaped her eyes. “She must have been in such a dark place when her sister died, and nobody was there for her. Not even me. That was the hardest thing I had to forgive.”
He blinked furiously through his tears.
“Please, I’m begging you try to forgive your mother.”
He nodded. “I’ll think about it.”
She smiled. “That’s all anyone can ask you for.”
How on earth was he going to even try?
But he watched Jane next to Holly, whispering soft words in her ear, smiling lovingly.
She left Holly when her sister died, and so did Charles. Her twin was the most important person in her life, a part of her soul and she found it in her heart to forgive them.
He had no idea how she did that, but he desperately wanted to learn how. He was just so fucking tired.
* * *
HOLLY
She finally opened her eyes and heard her mother’s voice.
“Sweetheart,” she said and Holly grunted.
“How do you feel?”
“Like I just been sawed in two.”
Her mother laughed. “You are going to be fine. Robin got most of it, and she truly believes that the chemo will destroy the rest.”
“Chemo, Mom.”
“You said you would do anything. If it’s chemo she wants to go with, Holly, you have to trust her.”
“Yeah. Chemo,” she said tiredly. “Where is Bradley and Cooper?”
“Fighting, just like their big sisters.”
“Jake?” she asked.
“In and out and trying his best to be everywhere.”
“So he fell in love with the two studs like I have.”
“Head over heels.”
“Music to my ears.”
“He asked me a lot about Jamie and Romy, if they were that small too and who sat with them. I think that means he really is trying to find it in his heart to forgive Mara.”
Holly sighed. Finally. She closed her eyes.
“Sleep, it’s nurse’s orders.”
Holly drifted away.
Her boys were still alive, still fighting. Jake was here. All was well for once.
The next time when she opened her eyes, Jake was by her side.
“Hi,” Holly said and Jake touched his lips to her forehead as he tried to hide the tears glistening in his eyes.
“Plant them here, sucker.” She tipped her head up slightly and puckered her lips. The movement made her wince. Her body ached everywhere.
What the hell was the chemo going to do to her if she felt like this now?
He kissed her, lingering for just a moment.
“Okay, love birds” Robin said as she entered. “I need a word with both of you.”
“I just woke up, Robin.”
“Yes and we are helping you fight, Holly. Remember your orders.”
“Okay fine, drill sergeant. What is the plan? What did you remove and if you tell me that I will never enjoy a penis again, I will kill you.”
Jake roared with laughter.
“Way oversharing Holly but no, I think you would enjoy a penis again in no time. But you need to wait six weeks before you attempt that, Jake.”
Holly gave a tired chuckle as Jake just stared at his sister. “So unprofessional.”
Robin started painting a disturbing picture of her liver and the one kidney she had left. She even had to cut off one side of her lung, but in due time, it would heal too and would work again just as hard as her other lung. It was one of the reasons that she felt fatigue.
One thing she wasn’t planning on was losing her uterus and tears spilled from her eyes.
Robin had to take it out as it carried more cancer cells and she was positive that what was still inside Holly would be able to disappear with a chemo.
“Okay,” she spoke.
She was worried about the kidney though. Losing the one wasn’t really the plan, and finding out that the other one still carried cancer wasn’t hopeful either. The complication of losing one of her organs was the part that really freaked her out. She was O negative, which meant she could donate to anyone, but finding a donor wasn’t easy.
“Okay,” Holly said again.
“You can sleep now and get better but we have to start the trial soon, Holly.”
She saluted her tiredly and Robin walk to the door.
“As you were.”
Jake chuckled. “We can really beat this, Holly.”
“Don’t let this fool you, okay? I’m not planning on losing this battle.”
“You better not.”
He kissed her lips again.
“How are my boys?”
“They’re fighters. It’s been three days and Frank is really hopeful. He said that Jamie was worse and she pulled through.”
“It’s a Peters thing.”
He laughed. “No, I think it’s a Scallanger thing. You survive when everything and everyone around you doesn’t.”
“Don’t get nostalgic now, please.”
“I’m just saying that you Scallanger girls are truly survivors, and I’m glad that it’s a trait my children got from you.”
Endless Love: The 4Ever series #3 Page 15