Endless Love: The 4Ever series #3

by Isabella White

  He didn’t know how much more she could handle.

  She was sick, and her hair fell out in large clumps, until she finally decided to shave it all off.

  He wanted to shave his head as well, but she begged him not to.

  “I can shave it off if I want to.”

  She shook her head adamantly.

  “Why not?”

  “Because Amelia said bald doesn’t suit you. You need to woo me, baby. Bald head isn’t going to do it for me.”

  He laughed. “Okay fine, I’ll keep the hair.”

  The boys finally came home, and his sister sort of moved in.

  As much as he loved her, they really were not great roommates.

  He and Robin could live together, and they had, but that was because they were so alike, they just gelled. But Amelia irritated the shit out of them at times.

  She was always extra chirpy around Holly and he could sense that it irritated her too, until one night, he just lost it.

  “Melia, enough.”

  “What? I just said it’s not as bad as everyone makes it out to be.”

  “Not as bad.”

  “Jake, don’t.” Holly was tired.

  “No!” He looked at his sister. “Stop being so fucking chirpy because this isn’t just going to blow over.”

  “Stop yelling!” Amelia shouted.

  “Both of you just stop,” Holly said and got up.

  “You see what you just did?” Jake ran after her, picked her up and took her to bed.

  “Stop being so hard on her.”

  “She irritates the living crap out of me.”

  “She’s really helping, Jake.”

  “Fine, I’ll try.” He put Holly in the bed and tucked her in.

  Jamie was already asleep.

  He went back downstairs and his sister looked pissed off. He didn’t have time for a fight. He was so fucking tired.

  “Don’t,” he warned and went to get Holly’s water and juice for the night.

  “Jake, you are not the only one who is trying to get her through this. I’m not blind. I can see it’s eating her up, all that fucking poison Robin keeps pushing into her body and you are not here during the day.”

  He looked at his sister. Tears welled up in her eyes.

  “I don’t mind taking care of her, but you are not here to see the things she throws up and the things she can’t eat. Me saying it’s not so bad, is actually me trying to help her think of this as easy. I know it’s not easy, but she needs to think it is. So stop treating me like I’m all happy about this, because I’m not.” She started crying and Jake’s heart melted.

  He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around his sister as she cried into his chest.

  “I’m sorry. I just had a bad few days.”

  “I know. We all have them. But she needs to get through this, and sometimes you just have to let us. She made us a promise that she was going to fight. We can’t give up and let her give up.”

  He nodded. “You want some cocoa?”

  “I’d love some cocoa.”

  “So, what is it that I don’t know?”

  She shook her head. “It’s better that you don’t.”

  “Amelia, please.”

  “You need to stay positive. Robin said it’s all great signs but it doesn’t look like great signs.”

  “Just two more weeks and we’ll be done with this shit.”

  “Two more.”

  They drank their cocoa and then they went to bed.

  Amelia was great with looking after the children. Her room was right next to Bradley and Cooper’s nursery.

  Jake got up every time they cried, but Amelia was always right behind him with their bottles, shooing him back to bed.

  She knew their cries.

  He felt like a terrible dad, but he was grateful for Amelia being here.

  The last two weeks he’d thought Holly was going to die. She slept most of the time. The hardest was when Jamie asked him with teary eyes if Mommy was going to go to Romy.

  A vice grip tightened around his heart. Jamie understood death better than he thought she did.

  He kneeled in front of her and gathered her in his arms, holding her tight against his chest and breathing in her scent. “I don’t know, baby.” A tear escaped his eye and rolled down his cheek. “But we can’t show Mommy were afraid. She needs to see us happy and laughing, not crying. She is fighting, sweetheart.”

  She nodded her head, but her little lip trembled and tears flowed down her cheeks. She used her little hands to wipe them away.

  He hugged her again. “You can cry with Daddy, just not with Mommy.”

  She let loose, her tiny body shaking against him as she burrowed her head in his neck. She sobbed loudly, inconsolably and all he could do was hold her tight.

  It was even harder than when they’d told her Holly was sick.

  Holly had wanted them to tell her. She answered most of Jamie’s questions, and even took her to one of her chemotherapy sessions.

  She told her that it was the same sickness that took Auntie Jamie to heaven.

  Jamie had had tears in her eyes, she couldn’t imagine it either, a life without her mom until Holly explain to her that she was lucky, she had Daddy and Auntie Robin and so many others helping her get better.

  This was almost like telling Jamie her mother lied.

  But Robin was positive. It was the only thing that still gave him hope. His sister’s positivity.

  When she was done with the chemo, they had to wait a week for her to stop vomiting.

  She was so skinny and really didn’t look healthy at all.

  Then the day finally came.

  They were off to see Robin where she was going to tell them if the chemo worked or not.

  The only stressful problem was that it was at P&E. He didn’t know if his mother was working today or if she was off. He hoped for the latter.

  He stopped in the parking lot and helped Holly out of the SUV.

  “You ready?”

  “Ready to be back here, or ready to hear what Robin has to say?”

  “Both.” He smiled.

  “I’m okay, I guess.”

  He picked Holly up and carried her to the entrance. “Such a knight in shining armor.”

  “I need to be someone’s hero.”

  “Yeah, that is the problem. You are too many people’s hero.”

  He planted a kiss on her lips as the doors slid open automatically.

  Vanessa, one of the nurses, smiled and brought him a wheelchair.

  “Never thought that I would see you again.”

  “I have no choice,” he said and wheeled Holly to the elevator.

  He ignored the worry in Vanessa’s face. He didn’t need that now. Today was going to be positive.

  “See what I mean, her face just lit up,” Holly said.

  “Shut up,” he murmured.

  “Oh, just great,” Holly muttered and Jake looked up.

  His mother and Kate stood at one of the boards, speaking to each other. They both turned and stared at Jake and Holly, their mouths agape.

  “Ignore them,” he said and wheeled Holly into the elevator. He could feel their eyes on him as he stepped into the elevator and hoped and prayed that they would keep their distance.

  Holly laughed.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Kate seemed hopeful.”

  “Fuck her. You are not going anywhere.”

  The elevator stopped at the oncology ward and he wheeled her out.

  He pulled into Robin’s consulting room.

  Her receptionist smiled when he walked in.

  “Dr. Peters. So nice to see you again.”

  “The wicked witch of the West here?”

  She laughed. “Just wait a few minutes. Holly?” she greeted.

  Jake frowned and he pushed Holly to a corner right next to a chair and took the seat.

  “See what I mean? So much hope from everyone, hero.” She grinned.

/>   Jake just shook his head with a laugh. She wasn’t going to go anywhere. “I come with baggage.”

  “Oh, it’s baggage none of them mind.”

  “You are not going anywhere and stop making jokes like that. It’s not funny.”

  “Fine, grumpy.”

  He smiled as he pick up a magazine and start reading it.

  A few minutes later, Robin walked into the room. “Let’s go.” She didn’t even greet them.

  “I agree, she is the wicked witch from the West.”

  Jake laughed as he wheeled her into the room.

  Robin wanted to do tests to make sure that the cancer was gone. And they spent the entire day at P&E doing all sorts of tests, ducking and diving his mother and Kate.

  They got the results back around four-thirty. The good thing was that Holly was cancer-free but it came with even worse news. Her kidney had stopped working and she needed a liver transplant.

  One organ was manageable but to get part of a liver with her blood type and a kidney was way too much to ask.

  Devenn, the nephrologist, was going to have to take over from Robin.

  All the air in Jake’s lungs dissipated.

  “Jake,” Robin said.

  Holly was sitting next to him. He couldn’t even look at her. He was so fucking mad. Not at her. But mad. He knew what it meant. Getting a kidney wasn’t going to be easy. Not with her blood type.

  “The positive side of this, is if we get a kidney and liver that’s a match, Holly has a chance of getting it, Jake.”

  “A chance. How big are those donor lists, Robin?”

  She didn’t answer. “I will fight for that kidney and liver, I promise.”

  “You are not a nephrologist.”

  “But I know a great one. I still have to speak to you about that.”

  Holly smiled. Jake didn’t think it was funny.

  “Trust me, please.”

  “I do, I just don’t trust someone new.”

  “See it as bonus points you need to give out, okay.”

  He shook his head. “So what now?”

  She sighed. “You need a few minutes as I don’t do grumpy faces in my office,” Robin said.

  Holly sighed deeply. He could hear the sadness in her voice.

  He looked at her but she looked at her hands.

  “Don’t even dare to feel what you are feeling now.”

  “Robin, enough.” Jake said.

  “Don’t. When we told her to abort, she didn’t want to. She promised she would fight. So, she can’t afford to look like that. Am I right, Holly?”

  “Yeah, you are right. So, I need a kidney and a liver?” Holly pushed back. She was really strong in so many ways, stronger than him.

  “Liver can be much easier than the kidney, and she can go on dialysis, Jake. It’s not the end of the world.”

  “Yeah until her kidney or liver decides not to work all together, then it’s going to turn into a fucking nightmare.”

  “She beat the fucking cancer. This is different. Stop thinking of all the worst case scenarios. We can beat this easily. Live with the nightmare until a solid solution comes, Jake.” She looks at Holly. “Devenn wants to admit you for the first few weeks of dialysis, Holly. Your kidney isn’t in the best shape and you will be put on the transplant list. We will find you a kidney and liver, I promise.”

  The door opened and Devenn walked in.

  “Good, you’re here,” Robin said and he went over to shake Jake’s hand.

  He didn’t say anything.

  “The positive thing about this is we can test family members. One of them should be a perfect match.” Devenn said.

  “Okay,” Holly said. She chuckled again. “Just my luck, it’ll be my father.”

  “Can I test, too?” Jake asked but he knew he wasn’t a match. He just wanted to do something. He had no idea what the rest of his family’s blood type was, but O negative was rare.

  “I’m not taking your kidney, Jake.”

  “I’m not asking you to take it. It’s just a test. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

  “Fine,” Holly griped.

  “And whatever is happening now, it needs to disappear fast,” he said to Holly. “My sister is right. You promised, Holly. You need to fight. It’s not over.”

  She nodded.

  “I’m not going to be a match, sorry.” Robin said. “You know I would give it to you if I could Holly.”

  “I know.” Holly flashed her a smile.

  “What are you talking about?” Jake asked.

  “Nothing to do with you,” Robin snapped at him.

  He shook his head. When did she become such a bitch.

  “Whoever wants to do the tests are more than welcome.”

  “I just have a request,” Jake said and look at Devenn. “She is not going to stay here. Downsend has the same equipment. So if you don’t mind, please.”

  Robin sighed.

  “Not here,” Jake said again.

  “Fine.”

  “I’ll take her to Downsend and you just find a kidney.” He looked at Devenn. “When can you do the test?”

  “I can do it at Downsend in an hour.”

  Jake nodded.

  “Perfect,” Robin said, “Now, can you please leave my consulting room so I can carry on with my work?”

  Jake shook his head but saw how Robin winked at Holly. “I’m the best. I’ll help Devenn find you your kidney and liver. This is the least of our problems.”

  “Aye, aye, captain,” Holly joked as Jake wheeled her out. “Do I really have to go back in hospital?”

  “Doctor’s orders, sweetheart. Just for a week or so until he is happy that you’re handling the dialysis well.” He sighed.

  “This is so messed up.”

  “Nope, it’s not. It’s just a kidney.”

  “And a liver,” she laughed. “And you know it’s not just a kidney, Jake. It’s me accepting the fucking kidney and piece of liver. You are not going to be a match.” Her voice broke.

  “Holly, you are not going to die. Period. Stop crying. It’s not that bad. We will find you a working kidney and you better fucking take it.”

  She laughed through her tears as he wheeled her into the elevator and went to sit on his haunches in front of her. “Just trust me. You beat the cancer. You said you would. Now, let us do what we do best. Saving lives.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay.”

  The elevator stopped and he turned around. His mother walked in.

  She froze as the elevator closed and stared at Holly sitting in her chair.

  “Just pretend we not here,” Jake said in the coldest tone he could muster without looking at her.

  “Just stop it,” Mara hissed. “What the hell is going on here?”

  “None of your damn business.”

  The door opened and he wheeled Holly out. “Sorry about that.”

  “Jake, this has to stop.”

  “Holly, don’t start. I’m not going to fight with you.”

  He hated his mother. He knew it was a very strong word but he wasn’t mad anymore. It was beyond madness. He loathed her, and spat on the ground she walked on. Not to mention how embarrassed he felt that he was one of her children. But only on paper.

  He would never forgive her for what she had done. Ever.

  Holly was admitted immediately and then the shit hit the fan.

  His mother wanted to know what was wrong with Holly. He had to give it to his old man for not saying a word. They were still together, still married. But he knew that his father wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret, and then more messages would stream in from Kate with how sorry she was and she’d be first in line to help him arrange Holly’s funeral and raise her children.

  But they were all in for a surprise. He wouldn’t love another the way he loved Holly. He wouldn’t let another woman raise her children.

  He wouldn’t be able to bear them calling another woman mother.

  He would
n’t be that cruel. Besides, Holly was going to make it.

  Doubt was normal.

  Amelia was devastated, but she managed to work through the news. They all went to Devenn to find out if they were a match.

  Even his dad went.

  Jane came and so did Frank.

  His house was filled with people again, and he got a taste of what life would be like without Holly.

  He didn’t like it. He couldn’t breathe.

  His phone vibrated and he wiped his tears.

  “You are not a match, Jake. None of us are.”

  Silence lingered as Jake closed his eyes.

  Why did she have to be part of the seven percent with that blood type?

  “Sorry,” Robin said. “Try her father. The chances that he’s O negative is huge.”

  “Yeah, okay. Jamie wants—”

  “Are you insane? If I would not kill you, Holly would. Don’t even mention it in front of her, Jake. Besides she is a child.”

  “Okay calm down. She just asked. It’s not easy on her, you know.”

  “Yes, I do.” He could hear her voice was thick with emotion.

  “Robin, please,” he begged.

  “I’m allowed to doubt a little, Jake. You are not the only one here that is tired of all this shit.”

  “I need you to be strong.”

  “I am, but I have my off days and I’m sure I am allowed to have them.”

  “Yes, you are.”

  “Mom came by the office today.”

  “I don’t want to hear it.”

  “She really sounded worried, Jake.”

  “Or happy that she would finally be rid of her once and for all.”

  “Be fair.”

  “No, I’ll never be considerate to that bitch ever again.”

  “Jake!”

  “Robin, if you want to run back to her, then do so. But I don’t want to hear about your happy little reunion.” He put down the phone in her ear.

  He hated fighting with his sisters. Especially Robin. She’d pulled Holly through so much.

  He started crying again. He felt as if he was losing control of everything.

  He didn’t want to be strong anymore, he just wanted Holly to be healthy. Why was it so much to fucking ask?

  Her mother wasn’t a match. He had a funny feeling that her father would be. That she was right about that comment of hers that it would be just her luck if her father had the same blood type as her.