Beauty from Ashes: Authors & Dancers Against Cancer Anthology

by Vera Quinn

  “Have you told her that you claimed her yet?” Stealth asks. Being my twin, he is always worrying about me as I do him.

  “I already told you that it’s way too soon. Maddie and her children are under my protection. If anything happens to me, then the club will take care of them since I have claimed them. The us part will come with time, or it won’t. They’re still mine either way.” Stealth looks concerned.

  “Shield is right. She’s under my protection as my sister-in-law, but if something happened, she would get better protection by being an ol’ lady claimed by a brother. This is extra security and any time Shield rescinds, it will end. Maddie never has to know, at least for now.” Sarge backs me up. The two of us have been over this at least fifty times.

  “Then who is going to let Dra in on this. He is her husband and her ol’ man. Maddie has been claimed and until that has been broken by Dra then how is this going to work?” Stealth asks. “The brief time that Maddie has been back in Texas, you two have created some type of bond. It’s like you two just meld, so who’s going to protect your heart?”

  “I don’t know what will happen in the future but it’s a chance I’m willing to take,” I tell them both.

  “Why was she here today and did you find out if she filed for divorce?” Sarge asks. I say the only thing I am comfortable saying.

  “Maddie is going to have a talk with you and Micha tonight to update you. That’s all I’m going to say on the matter and yes, Maddie has filed for a divorce and it will take place in Texas.” Sarge gives me a hard look, but I don’t pay any mind to it.

  “After we talk to Maddie tonight, I am going to arrange for you two to go to Colorado and speak to Dra and I mean talk. I don’t want this situation to get any harder on Maddie because of your visit. I’d go, but I want to stay close to home until the baby arrives.” Stealth and I look at each other. It’s been a while since we have been on a road trip together and I’m glad that Sarge picked Stealth to go with me.

  “Is there a problem with the baby? It’s not due for months.” Stealth speaks up. He just doesn’t get the whole relationship thing.

  “No, there’s no problem with the baby or Micah. Micah is my woman and I will be here every step of the way with her. If she gets a pain or has a craving, then I will be the one helping her and going out to get her whatever she wants. Having a child scares me to death so I can only imagine how it feels when that baby is growing inside of you. I will be here for every ache, pain, or craving because that is what a dad does.” Well, damn. My respect for Sarge just went up a couple of notches.

  “You have come a long way Sarge, and it looks good on you. I hope I can be a good dad-to-be just like you one day,” I tell Sarge.

  “You two have both grown pussies. Women have babies without men every day. I respect Micha, but you are going to smother the woman. She has a brain and knows how to take care of herself. She can shoot a gun just fine and she has her aunt Deb and that old man Deb is shacking up with.” I shake my head. Stealth will never get it.

  “I don’t believe that it’s anyone else’s place to by Micha’s side and as I explained, I want to experience everything with my woman. That is my child inside of her,” Sarge tells Stealth with a snarl on his face.

  “Cool your jets. I get it but don’t expect me to follow in either of yours path. I’m keeping my balls intact and out of any female’s purse. Women are nothing but headaches and my life is proof of it.” Stealth is right about his life being a mess. He’s in love with one woman that wants to give it a try, but there is another woman that says she’s carrying Stealth’s child. I, on the other hand, have feelings for a married woman. I feel protective of her and her children. I like being around her and I feel very comfortable when I am. I think it’s a great friendship that could be more if I give it time. I am willing to wait and it will be worth it. I wouldn’t call this a mess, more like complicated.

  “Let’s head home so we can get this talk over with. We still have business at the clubhouse before I call it a day. Shield, if Maddie doesn’t tell us everything at the house then you will be sharing. I can’t fix something if I don’t know what I’m facing. It’s time for Maddie to accept our help,” Sarge says. He starts his bike and Stealth and I do the same. Sarge leads us out and the only thing on my mind is Maddie. I know she has the strength to do this, but she just needs to know it too.

  Chapter Three

  Maddie

  I enjoy the last few minutes of peace before I face Micha and Aunt Deb. I know they are going to lose their crap. Sarge and Rye won’t be happy because Micha and Deb are worried. I know what I’m going to say, but I want everyone to know this is just something I needed to handle on my own. I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I just needed to feel like I had control of one thing in my life. I feel stronger now. One woman’s heart-wrenching story gave me the strength to pick my life up and count my blessings.

  I park my Tahoe in my parking spot, and I get out. I am eager to see B and Lucas just to give them a big hug. I don’t know what I would do if either of them were sick or hurt. I make my way into the house. The kitchen is empty. My heart picks up a beat. I don’t know why. My children are as safe with Micha and Aunt Deb as they are with me. I take a breath and calm myself down. I walk into the family room and Aunt Deb and Micha are sitting on our big sectional sofa. Rye is sitting in the recliner. “So, how did the babysitting go?” I ask and Micha jumps as if I startled her. I laugh. It seems out of place in the quiet room, but it feels good. I think it’s the first time since I arrived back in Texas that I feel like I’m home.

  “I forgot how exhausting taking care of little ones can be.,” Aunt Deb says. “Both of them went down for a nap.” I look at my watch.

  “Don’t let Deb fool you, she loved every minute of it,” Rye tells me and I have no doubt she did enjoy it and she is exhausted.

  “I don’t know how you do this every day by yourself. You need to let us help you or at least give you breaks. I have a lot to learn and I am glad you are here to help me,” Micha says, and she looks like she could use a nap.

  “You’re baking a child woman, of course you’re tired. Your man will be here soon to make sure you are taken care of.” Rye is right about that. Sarge and Shield walk in behind me. Sarge goes over and picks Micha up and sits down with her in his lap. He looks at me and I look at Shield. Shield moves closer to me but keeps some distance. He’s letting me know he’s here as a friend, and this is my show. For some reason, I like it.

  “I need to inform all of you of a few things and I want you to all know that I trust everyone here with my children’s lives and that isn’t easy for me. I love each of you as family and friends. Please, don’t take this wrong. You just need to know after what happened with Dra, I needed to feel in charge of at least one aspect of my life.” I look around the room. Sarge is listening, but he is rubbing Micha’s back to try and comfort her. Aunt Deb looks concerned and Rye has an unreadable look on his face. I don’t look at Shield. I need to be strong and get this out. “Before I left Colorado, I found a lump in my right breast during my monthly examine. I went to the doctor there and had all my records sent to my doctor here. They were also sent to a doctor I was referred to in Tyler. Then I had my miscarriage before I could see the oncologist and I was devastated. I felt out of control and I had no grasp on my life. That’s why I decided not to say anything to anyone.”

  “Maddie you know we would have helped,” Aunt Deb tells me.

  “I could have lost you. What the hell, Maddie? What foolish things were going through your head? I ask these things with love so don’t get pissy with me. I can’t say all the flowery words that you need and deserve. You know me. I just spit it out.” I smile at my twin sister.

  “That’s exactly what I need right now, to feel normal and heaven knows this is normal for you.” I so need that normal feeling. Shield moves closer to me and I feel the warmth and strength he is sending me. “I know you must have a lot of questions. I had a
lumpectomy and today I got the news that I don’t need radiation as of today. I have a lot of follow-up visits with the oncologist and my physician. I’m sorry for the worry in your faces and hearts right now but I needed control when I had none. I hope you can understand that. You all did the biggest thing that you could have done when you kept B and Lucas safe and happy with you. They are my only priority.”

  “You big dummy, we could have done that and been there for you, but I understand. Like I can ever stay mad at you for very long,” Micah says in a way that everyone laughs and that breaks the tension in the room. “Don’t let it happen again or you and I will be having some strong words where I will spell them out.” I know Micha is teasing but I also see the hurt in her eyes. She’s my twin and I share everything with her, or I have until the last few years. I want that relationship back with my sister, but I know it won’t be a conversation just between the two of us anymore. I can’t ask my sister to keep secrets from Sarge.

  “Is everything alright now? I mean are they absolutely sure? We can get a second or third opinion if you aren’t comfortable with the prognosis? I just want you to be careful with your health,” Aunt Deb asks and I see she is filled with concern.

  “Deb, leave Maddie alone. She knows we are all here for her and she will make the best decisions because she loves her children more than she does her own life. She knows if she left this earth, they wouldn’t have a mom. That gives her the incentive to take the best care of herself. She needed control and she took it. Be proud of her. She took cancer and fought it like the tough girl she is, and she is making it her bitch. Micha and Maddie were brought up right—with level heads.” Rye doesn’t know what that means to me. I walk over and hug him. He seems shocked by my hug, but he embraces me. I hear a noise behind me, and I look at Shield and he looks like he wants to take someone’s head off.

  “Oh, hell yeah, I knew it. Maddie, you better watch out. You haven’t gotten rid of one biker and another one is stepping up on you.” Micha laughs.

  “Shield has become a good friend of mine. Don’t go making mountains out of mole hills. He’s become my best friend and I won’t have you teasing him for it,” I say firmly.

  “I’m here for whatever Maddie needs. That’s what best friends do.” I look at Shield and he winks at me. I know I have been blessed with this man as my friend and it will be for life. That’s the only kind of best friend to have. I look around the room and everyone is laughing, even Sarge. Whatever, they can think what they want.

  “I have court for my divorce in two weeks. I want to do this on my own, but if anyone wants to go, can you please just be nice? I want this over as painlessly as possible. The children won’t be going to court, but Dra and Krill are staying for a week and I would like to invite them to stay here.” I take a breath but not long enough for anyone to say anything. “Krill with be accompanied by Bethany and his son, Cage. I want Cage to get to know B and Lucas and a hotel room is not suitable for three children to play.” I wait for a reaction, but I don’t get one. “I know this may seem as me being weak but I’m not. I want what’s best for my children and they need to know all their cousins. I want Dra and I to have an amicable divorce and I don’t want my children to feel any tension between me and their father. It’s what’s best for them and if that means I have to suck up my feelings for a week, then that’s what I’ll do. I’ll have all of you around me to support me or even calm me down if I lose my temper.”

  “Dra was never good enough for you. That man has been a waste since he lost his dad. I will support you, darlin’. You are a good mom and putting the kids first makes you a damn strong woman. I would like to stay here in the house while Dra is here as a family friend,” Shield says before anyone else speaks.

  “That’s not a good idea. I want this time to be good for the children; a time to reconnect with their dad and Uncle Krill. If you’re here, then Dra will think I need someone to stand in between him and myself and that would spur him on. I don’t wish for that. I don’t need anyone between Dra and me, nor do I want the extra tension.” I pick my words carefully.

  “I’ll agree to it, but Stealth and Shield will be bunking in the bunk house along with a few others for security purposes. Rye will you and Deb be here?” Sarge puts in. Rye doesn’t hesitate.

  “We will for every damn minute. Are you sure Dra will agree to it?” Rye asks.

  “Krill agreed to it and if Dra doesn’t want to stay then he can stay somewhere else and we’ll make arrangements for him to visit with the children,” I answer.

  “That seems reasonable. I’ll be here to help with the children,” Aunt Deb agrees.

  “I’ll be as nice as Dra is and if he pisses me off, I’ll go and do some target practice and put his face on every target. See, nice, I could just shoot Dra.” Micha broke the tension in the room, and she winks at me to let me know that was her intention. Micha is an original and I love her for it.

  “Thank you all and Shield I appreciate your offer, I really do. I just don’t want to ever appear to be weak again.” Shield nods at me, and I hope I haven’t hurt his feelings. I will talk to him the next time we’re alone.

  “I need to get back to the clubhouse for a few hours and Shield I need you with me. Rye will you be here, or do I need to send some prospects out?” Sarge asks. Sarge is very protective of Micha. It’s not like we don’t have a ranch full of workers since it is hay season.

  “We are here for the night but will be heading back to Oklahoma so I can catch up on some club business. We won’t be gone for long, two or three days at the most.” Rye has become a big part of our family. Sarge stands up and gives Micha a deep kiss and then kisses the top of her head. He sits her back on the sofa.

  “I won’t be gone long, just need to make sure some things are taken care of. You want me to bring dinner?” Sarge asks Micha.

  “I have some things in the crock pot for dinner. I just need to put together a salad. There’s plenty for everyone.” I speak up.

  “I’ll do some knot rolls,” Aunt Deb adds.

  “I’ll make dessert,” Micha says. “Guess we’re having a family dinner and Shield you are welcome to attend. I’d say bring Stealth along, but he doesn’t have table manners.” Micha laughs. “Okay, bring him too.”

  “Sounds perfect. Maddie, if you keep cooking, I’m going to need bigger jeans soon.” Sarge gives me a compliment.

  “Me too. I haven’t eaten this good since before Ma,” Shield starts and then starts again, “In a long time and I’ll invite Stealth and tell him to mind his manners.” I walk over and put my arm around Shield’s waist and hug him. He hugs me back. I know Shield misses his mom and I want to repay the comfort he has given me. I am looking up into Shield’s eyes and he is looking at me. Then a weird feeling runs through me. It’s a feeling I don’t want to admit to, so I shut it down. That’s when I notice all eyes are on Shield and me. I step back from Shield.

  “Let’s hit the road, Shield,” Sarge says.

  “Later, Maddie.” I smile at Shield.

  “Be careful,” I tell him and then he turns and walks out the door. Rye gets up and follows Shield and Sarge out.

  Chapter Four

  Shield

  “Who’s heading out to talk to Dra and Krill before they come in for their visit?” Rye asks.

  “I had planned for Stealth and Shield to go on the road trip, but I’m thinking this is something I need to handle in person. I’ll make the arrangements tomorrow so Shield and I can fly out. We’ll be gone a little over twenty-four hours. It’s a fast in and out,” Sarge answers.

  “Be sure that Dra knows when he’s here, he better be on his best behavior. Deb has been cleaning her shotgun for weeks. Maddie might want this to end peacefully but Deb and Micha want blood and I’m one step behind them.” Rye is serious and his voice lets us know how serious he is.

  “I want him here and gone,” I tell them. “Maddie’s heart is too big, and she forgives too easily.”

  “Plan made. S
hield, let’s get our business done so I can get home and tell Micha.” Rye turns around and goes back to the house. I get on my bike and follow Sarge down the driveway.

  Chapter Five

  Maddie

  Two weeks later

  This is the day I have been dreading for the last few months. Not that saying goodbye isn’t what I want, it just seems I lost the fight. The fight against who? I have no idea. I just never thought this would be me. I am glad it’s time to face it and then let it go.

  Dra and I have agreed on a divorce settlement and a custody agreement. Today is just a formality. My attorney said I didn’t even need to be there, but I was present when this started, and I will be there for it to end.

  The one thing I wasn’t expecting is Dra asked for a private meeting with me before the proceedings. I didn’t have to agree but if this will give him closure then I’ll do it. It’s going to be in a room at the courthouse and it will be just the two of us. No one was happy about it but it’s no one else’s business.

  Dra came alone, which was unexpected, and he stayed at a hotel in town. He’s had some alone time with B and Lucas as ordered by the court.

  I’m here and I’m looking at the double doors that will take me to this little talk with the man I am walking away from. I take a deep breath, open the doors, and walk in. Dra is sitting at the table looking lost. I will not do this. I will not feel sorry for this man.

  “Hey, Dra, you wanted to talk to me?” Dra stands up from his chair, but I walk around the table to the opposite side.

  “I did, Maddie. I have so much I want and need to say. I’ve seen you the last few days, but we haven’t talked alone. I need to let you know how sorry I am for everything I said and did. Did you hear I was being drugged?” I did know this.