The Cave Maze- Wizard Warrior Quest

by C A A Allen

  “How long to pick the lock?” I asked.

  “Conveniently it’s unlocked,” Dread said. “We should be able to get the drop on whatever’s in here.”

  Chaz, Dread, and I readied our swords and took the front. Chawett and Tigress brought up the rear. Tigress pulled back an arrow in ready to fire position. Chawett rubbed his hands together and took up an on-guard stance.

  My heart thumped madly. My first Maze battle. Let me in there. I gently pushed Tigress bow down. “Why don’t you go in with your daggers? That head slicing move you made on the troll was eye-popping.”

  Dread nodded vigorously. “Daggers Tigress, please.”

  Tigress’ eyes narrowed. “I’m good smartasses. One shoot with my bow, then I’ll jump in with the daggers. It worked against the troll.”

  Dread’s eyes bulged. “But you missed the troll. We’re looking at close quarter, hand-to-hand combat here. Now put the bow away.”

  Tigress drew back her bow and penetrated the door with her eyes. “I will not. I am half elf, and I will kill something with this bow on this run.”

  Chawett waved his hand. “Enough talk. Orcs are on the other side of that door. You need to be ready for the fight of your life. Kill or be killed, dragged, raped, and eaten by these savages. There are no do-overs here, so be faultless with what ever attack you choose.”

  Drops of sweat ran down the side of my face. All the stories of orc battles and now I was here. This would be my first door in the Maze, an encounter I was sure to never forget lay behind it. “We’re going in on the count of three. One, two, three.”

  CHAPTER 20

  We busted in the room. Chaz and Dread rushed three small pitchfork-wielding orcs on the right side of the room. I was unlucky. The orc in front of me was a giant, greasy beast three times bigger than the other ones. He held a meat cleaver in his hand, covered in blood. A slaughtered horse lay at his feet.

  I ran up on my orc and uppercut with my sword. My intention was to end this quick by slicing him in two. He turned from his butcher job just in time to block my sword with his cleaver. Sparks flew and the clank shuttered through my body. The orc kicked me in the chest sending me sliding back across the floor to the door. Chawett and Tigress took up positions around me.

  “This guy is going to take a team effort,” I said. “Feel free to jump in.”

  The orc butcher let out a chunk-splattering belch and lumbered toward the three of us. He swung the massive cleaver in a blurry fast side-to-side figure eight motion.

  Chawett’s fingernail glowed blue, he pointed to an ox-sized mystery meat carcass that hung from a nearby hook. “Time to make this a food fight.”

  Whipping his finger to the right, the carcass flung across the room and slammed upside the butcher’s head. The orc stumbled sideways, flipped, and disappeared over the wall of a flame spitting fire pit. Chawett then rapid fire whipped his finger causing four smaller carcasses to smash the orcs engaged with Chaz and Dread.

  One flabby meat hunk smacked, then wrapped around an orc’s head getting lodged into its spiked helmet. Blinded, the orc spun in a circle trying to rip it off. Chaz sliced the spinning target up with three quick strokes. He looked down at his kill, tasted the air with his tongue and clenched his teeth. “I wish my brother could see this.”

  Another orc got punched directly in the stomach with a meaty hunk. He doubled over and blew a saucy black puke. Dread swooped in and plunged his sword deep into the back of its head. “Shumminina!”

  The final orc dodged one carcass, but got caught by another in the leg. He stumbled forward and hurled his meat fork at Tigress, who had just launched an arrow at him. The two flying objects crossed paths, the arrow logged into the orc’s forehead, while Chawett blocked the meat fork with his shillelagh.

  Tigress looked at Chawett from the corner of her eye. “Nice reflexes.” She then took a few steps toward her victim and arched a sly brow. “What do you think of that arrow placement Dread?”

  Dread stood over the dead orc. “Not quite center forehead, it’s a little off to the side.” He looked at Tigress and smiled. “Nice shooting Tigress.”

  Chawett took a deep sniff of the air. “Aaaa, the scent of fresh Cave Maze carnage always turns me on. Congratulations on your first Cave Maze victory team Beeston.” He picked up the hurled meat fork and examined the tip. “Just don’t think it’s always this easy, these were not warrior orcs, they were cooks.”

  Now that the fight settled, I took in my surroundings. A fire pit sat in the middle of the square stone room. The air was chilled, but my battle sweat combatted the cold. I turned the hand crank on a giant rotisserie-spit rod above the main fire pit. “This thing is primed for its next victim.”

  “I was up next for that rotisserie,” says a shaky voice. We spun around. A scruffy man with a dirty gray beard peeked his head from around a back room corner. “Thank you for showing up when you did. My name is Asellus, can you all please help out of these chains?”

  Asellus slowly trotted from around the corner. He had the head and torso of a man, with the body of a horse. He was skinny and almost fell when the heavy chains around his legs abruptly stopped him.

  “My name is Raff Orcslaughter,” I said. “Odd to see a centaur in the Maze. Quite far away from the hidden glens aren’t you?”

  “That’s no centaur,” Chaz said. “That’s an ass-centaur—part donkey, not horse.”

  “Onocentaur is the preferred, and proper name for my species,” Asellus said. “That big orc with the cleaver killed my associate. We were hired by some hags to haul in supplies. Once we delivered, the ghastly whores turned us over to these ignoramuses. That’s how I ended up here. Now can you please get me out of these chains?”

  Dread examined the shackles near Asellus’ hooves. “I just might be able to pick these locks. But first tell me, what was it you hauled in for those hags?”

  Asellus scratched his ear and looked around the room. “The load was covered up, and hags don’t like questions. I got a peek of the front part of it though. There were a few big chests, most likely filled with gold. The rest smelt of pixies and huo-yao. If you let me out of these chains, I’ll tell you where I dropped it. I’m sure you will find something valuable there. I’m no quester, I just want out of this damn place.”

  Dread easily opened the locks freeing Asellus. The ass-centaur drew directions on the sooty floor with a stick. The hag’s drop point was not far away from this room, but out of the boundaries of our map. We all gathered around to look at the crude directions.

  “My father said not to go off the map,” I said. “I think we should just stay with our original plan, and go to the other four rooms. Let’s not forget the rat-flea incident.”

  Chaz looked at me with wide-eyes. “This information is a gift I refuse to pass up. I have sunk a whole lot of gold into this venture, and so far all we have done is come up on those huo-yao sacks. Take the room we are in for example, it is the first one on your father’s map, and it is a bust. This is a kitchen, not a treasure room. What do we have to look forward to next? Talhoffer’s garderobe privy? I’m sure we will find some whiffy treasure for you there, Raff.”

  Chaz squatted down to get a better look at Asellus’ directions. “Those hags brought in treasure chests, and this could be my only opportunity to turn a profit from this run.”

  Dread studied the drawing. “I agree with Chaz, those hags must have brought in something valuable.”

  Chaz’s and Dread’s opinions were no use when more gold is involved. Frankly, I didn’t want another encounter with a hag. I turned to Tigress and Chawett.

  Tigress paced the room. “I agree too. We came for gold, and there doesn’t seem to be any in this room. I will not be able to purchase a new breeding sniffer with the items in here. What do you think Chawett?”

  “I really don’t want to get into a fight with any hags on this run,” he said. “They have some ethereal spells that can really mess you up. Asellus, exactly how many hags were with tha
t load?”

  “Just four,” he said.

  Just four? Just four? Did my team understand what a hag could do? But maybe I was being a coward. After all, it had been only me against the one hag in Trosworth. This time there were five of us, armed.

  “After we dropped the load they took us here where we were supposed to get paid. If you ask me they were on their way out of the Maze. I hope you all do run into those double-crossing witches and kill them.”

  “Let’s hit the four rooms we planned to first,” I say. “We can save the hag load mystery room as a last resort, if we don’t come up on gold in the planned rooms.”

  Asellus scratched the ground with his front hoof. “Treasure doesn’t wait for no one in the Maze. If I was you I would not hesitate. But I’m not you. I just want to get out of here. Now if you don’t mind I’m going to grab me a snort before I stampede out of this hellhole. These orcs got a wine and ale cabinet nestled here in the back.”

  “I can use a drink myself,” I said. “Lead the way, we both deserve a snort after dealing with those orcs.”

  Asellus turned the corner. “Have you had a prosperous run thus far?”

  “I just came up on five sacks of huo-yao. Gold of course is what were really after.”

  Asellus opened a thrashed wooden cabinet. One of the rotted doors broke off the hinges and fell to the floor. I reached to pick it up and got bucked in the groin by the ass’s two aft hooves. “Arghh!” I fell to the ground on my hands and knees.

  Asellus snatched a small treasure chest from the shelf and galloped for the door.

  I crawled forward in pursuit, but collapsed just as I got around the corner. “Stop that ass!”

  Chawett dropped to a knee, and stretched out his shillelagh.

  “Heee-Haw!” Asellus tripped over it sending his face grinding into the floor. The chest tumbled into a wall and smashed open. Dozens of gold coins spun out of it in all directions.

  The pain in my groin eased slightly with the sight-My dad was right about gold being in this room.

  Asellus got up and hobbled out the door empty-handed.

  Chaz shook his head while picking up coins. “See what happens when you help somebody, Raff?”

  Tigress helped me up. “You get kicked in the balls. That looked like it hurt.”

  “I think I see the light Tigress,” I said. “I think I see the light.”

  The team gathered up gold from around the room while I tried to recover from the low blow. Dread added our proceeds to the heavynessless bag then gripped it firmly in his fist. “That still only makes our total sixty-nine gold.” He tossed the bag over to me.

  I caught it in one hand and then bounced it up and down. “Don’t fret, we still got four more stops laid out on the map.” I tossed the bag over to Chawett.

  Chaz intercepted the bag and held it up by the drawstrings. “We have five more stops. Let’s not forget about the hag’s load. Heavynessless or not, this bag is still extremely light.”

  Chawett snatched the bag away from Chaz, and flung it back to Dread. “To the next room we go.”

  Dread and I were the last out of the orc’s kitchen. The pain from the hoofing slowed me, but I wasn’t going to let Chaz see me struggle.

  As we exited, Dread paused at a rotisserie-spit rod lined with several unidentified golden brown fowl. “Looks like dinner was almost ready.” He snatched a leg off one of the birds and took a bite. “That orc chef knew what he was doing, tastes like chicken.”

  I was a little hungry, and this actually did smell normal enough. I reached to grab a leg but stopped when I saw something swimming in the sauce bucket near my feet. “What do orcs baste their meat with?”

  “I have no idea,” Dread said. “But this leg is scrumptious.”

  I gave the basting brush a stir and tried to lift it up. A pair of eyes peeked out of the dark brown mixture. A slimy tentacle then wrapped around the brush handle and yanked it back down out of my hand.

  “I’m going to pass on this gourmet meal. That dodo is going to make you sick cousin.”

  We left the room and continued down the corridor where we stopped at another three-way intersection. On the left, a hall lead to the supposed hag’s load. The path straight ahead was where stop number three on the map is. To the right, a large set of wooden double doors.

  “There you go Dread,” I said. “What do you think lies behind door number two?”

  Dread sucked all remaining meat off the now glistening ‘chicken’ bone and flung it back down the hallway. He then wiped his mouth off on his sleeve and licked his fingertips. “Let me at it.”

  He pulled a tiny ear trumpet from his tool kit and held it to the doors. “I don’t hear anything going on inside, but these doors are thick, I can’t be sure. There’s no lock, all we need to do is come on in.” He grabbed the handles and pushed with no results. “It seems to be wedged shut, or maybe locked from behind.”

  “Let me try.” I pushed on the doors but they did not budge.

  Dread reached for a chest-buster. “I can blast this door down if we need to.”

  “If it’s unlocked we’re not wasting a chest-buster on it,” I said. “There’s more than enough room for all five of us to push. Let’s do it team.”

  “Heave!” We all pushed on the doors at the same time. There was a cracking sound, and dirt fell from the upper jamb onto our heads.

  “Heave!” The doors flung open, we all fell in a dusty smoke filled pile on the other side. I look up to see twenty plus orcs staring at us from two oversized dinner tables. “Run!”

  Chaz popped off the pile and sprinted away first. He ran straight down the hag load hallway. Tigress followed helping Chawett along with his gear. Dread and I struggled up off the bottom. We both grabbed a handle and slammed the doors shut. We then ran full speed to catch up with the rest of the team. The ground shook beneath our feet as the orc horde slammed into the doors from the other side.

  We caught up to Chawett and Tigress at the end of the hall where it turned to the left. There was a long stretch there with over twenty doors evenly spaced per side. Chaz held open the thirteenth door on the right—the door Asellus identified as having the hags’ load.

  “Come quick,” Chaz said. “This way!”

  CHAPTER 21

  I looked back to see the orcs’ doors bust open. The whole dinner party stormed toward us. It was now or never-at least our curiosity would be satisfied.

  “To the door then,” I said. “Quick!”

  We all slid into a small, empty, rectangle shaped room. Chaz quietly closed the door leaving us with just the light coming from underneath it. Chawett jammed his shillelagh between the floor and the bottom of the door, the rest of us barricaded up against it with the full weight of our bodies.

  We could hear doors opening, and slamming shut one by one, as the orcs got closer.

  Mustela let out a quiet ‘chirp’ then ducked under Tigress’ hair.

  Tigress put her lips against my ear. “Mustela’s nose isn’t completely broken. That chirp is an alarm indicating a trap door—”

  Click! The floor swung open from both sides. We all fell straight down. My head banged against the sidewall as I tumbled through the air, dazed. Chawett’s fingernail glowed brightly blue.

  “We gonna die!” Dreads voice echoed around us. “Ohhh this is it!”

  I braced myself for impact when the fall slowed in mid-air. Tigress and Mustela plopped down next to me with a slight bounce. Only we weren’t on the ground. We were still falling.

  “What is this?” Tigress asked. “What’s happening?”

  Chaz and Dread slid into us. I felt beneath me and realized what was going on—we were riding this fall out in Chawett’s shield bubble.

  We hit the ground in a tangled dog pile. The misty spray of the shield bubble splashed over us when the spell broke. The magic slowed our fall, but the landing was still painful. Lucky for us we ended up in what felt—and smelled—like a semi-soft trash heap.

 
Various grunts, groans, and moans could be heard in the room. A single door across from me was cracked open slightly. A faint flicker of light came in from the outside.

  “My leg.” Dread clutched his calf, tight. “Oh, I think my leg is broken. But I’m not dead. Is everyone else still alive?”

  “My head is pounding,” I said. “But I’m good. We must have fallen ten levels deep.”

  Chawett coughed and hacked. “More like thirteen or fourteen levels deep. If this shaft were any deeper the bubble would have burst sending us all to certain death. Now can somebody thank me by helping me up out of this?”

  “I think I can get to you,” I said. “Hold tight.” I trudged through floor clutter and reached for what looked like Chawett’s extended hand. “Are you all right?” Our hands met, his was red hot and crusty. I instinctively let go. Chawett fell back down into the pile. “There’s something alive on your hand, it’s moving too!”

  Chawett held up his hand catching the light. “Son of a wench. I burned up five of my fingers! Aaagh! It feels like my hand was dipped in acid.”

  I reached out for his good hand and helped him up. He stood using his shillelagh for support.

  Chawett glared at his frying hand. “I used every bit of my spell power to sustain that shield bubble.” He shook his hand vigorously and blew on it several times. “I can’t believe this happened, not just one, but it took five of my fingers to pull that off. All five.” His voice sank with a threat of tears.

  Tigress briefly stood up but slipped back down into the mound of junk. “What is this place?” She picked up a rotted wooden shield from the crud. “The smell in here is putrid. Chaz, what’s that on your head?”

  Chaz ended up face down in what looked like slightly muddy linen. When he hoisted himself up some of the fabric was pasted across his face and head.

  Chaz peeled the object off. He then began spitting, and gagged. “Inhumanity!”

  “What is it?” Tigress asked.

  “Feces!” Chaz gasped. “These are some foul creature’s under garments.”

  “Quiet down,” Chawett said. “I recognize the markings on that shield Tigress. That belongs to an orc sector captain, the type of orc you would find this deep in the Maze.”