Stay With Me

by Trejo, Erin

  “I’ve looked into her more in-depth lately,” I tell her.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Just what I said! I looked into her. She has secrets, Whisper. One’s that I never fucking saw coming. I don’t know how to bring it up or how to walk away from them.”

  “You don’t bring them up. You let her tell you at her own pace, Callan. You should know better than anyone that you can’t force those things on people. We’ll break.” The softness in her eyes says it all. I know I shouldn’t push her, but this is something else. Something more than any of us would have ever thought.

  “You don’t get it, Whisper. What I found out… I can’t look at her the same way anymore.”

  “What the hell did you find out, Callan? What’s so bad that you can’t look at her the same?” I wish I could tell her. I want to tell her, but I also know Whisper. I know her history and I know mine. Neither of us want to bring this up and dwell on it. Instead of telling her anything, I grab her and pull her into me.

  “What am I going to do?” I ask softly.

  “I don’t know because you won’t tell me the problem,” she responds.

  “I can’t give you that part. I’m sorry but I can’t.” She squeezes me back and sighs into my chest.

  “Then I can’t help you. When you’re ready, you know I’m here.”

  “Thanks. I know that much. I just need to see what the fuck else is happening that I don’t know about first. If there’s one secret, there are usually more.”

  “Your family knows all about that!” I release her and laugh a little. She’s not wrong. This family was built on secrets and lies. Nothing we learn about my dad really shocks me anymore.

  “That we do but at least we have you now,” I tell her. She laughs, throwing her head back as she smiles.

  “Yeah, that was the best prize of all. The homeless jackass.”

  “You aren’t a jackass. You’re just you, Whisper. We wouldn’t want you any other way.”

  “You say it like we’re in a harem.” Now it’s my turn to laugh.

  “Are you opposed?”

  “Ha! Not a chance in hell. Your brother would kill us all.”

  “He didn’t kill us in that pool house,” I tease.

  “Do you still think about that?”

  “Your hot little body on full display for all of us. The way your tits tasted on my tongue,” I say huskily. A moan escapes her lips as I laugh.

  “Now who’s thinking about it?”

  “Damn it, Callan! Now I’m going to have to go home and get myself off.”

  “Why? Where’s Steele?” I ask holding the car door open for her and allowing her to climb in.

  “Some stupid meeting,” she grumbles.

  “Well, you can watch me rub one out then. I don’t think he cares if you watch,” I quip.

  “You’re sick. Take me home.”

  6

  Shane

  “How long are we going to do this, Mom?” She looks up at me with sad eyes. That should be enough for me but it isn’t. We don’t need this. I don’t need this.

  “It’s not that easy, Shane. How do you think you got into that school?”

  “So, he gets to treat us like shit so that I can go to school? I’m sick of it, Mom. I’m sick of all of it. This has been going on for years and I’m sorry but it’s getting old.” Admitting that to her took a lot of guts. I know that my mom seems to love Matt and I wish I could say the same, but I can’t. My stepdad, Matt, is an abusive piece of shit. Then again so is my mom. If she wasn’t drunk off her ass right now, I wouldn’t even be talking to her like this. This is the only time I can speak my mind without having to worry about the punishment that would follow.

  “Getting old? Shut the hell up, Shane. You have everything handed to you on a silver platter. Ever since Matt came into our lives, you’ve had it all,” she sneers. This is bullshit. She can’t think that can she? She knows what happened to me! She knows because she made it all disappear!

  “This is bullshit. I can’t be here,” I say shoving out of my chair. I start toward the door when Matt walks in. Speak of the devil and he appears.

  “Where are you off to in such a hurry?”

  “Out.”

  “It’s almost ten at night. You aren’t going anywhere,” he says stepping closer to me. I take a deep breath, ready for a fight when I make my move. I rush past him and out the door, running down the driveway when I hear him.

  “Keep running! You will never be allowed back here!” Thank God for small miracles. When I’m far enough away from the house, I slow down to catch my breath. Each step I take in the darkness is one I can’t come back from. Not that I really want to but where the hell am I going to go? What am I going to do now? I have some money, not a lot, but I have saved up what I’ve made from working at the dance studio although they just opened not long ago.

  Tears burn the back of my eyes as I walk into the old town square. Sitting on the small bench, I rest my head in my hands. Should I apologize? Should I go back and beg for forgiveness? No. I can’t do that. Not after everything else that’s happened between the three of us. I won’t do it. Instead, I pull my phone out and dial Whisper before quickly hanging up. She will tell Callan. Then what? What happens after that? Finally letting the tears fall down my cheeks, I sigh. I don’t know what to do. Would Steele even let me come there? Just for the night?

  “What are you doing here?” I nearly jump out of my own skin when I hear someone speak. The small startled scream that left my mouth was unexpected.

  “Jesus, Luke.” I press my hand to my chest trying to slow the beating of my heart. He scared the shit out of me.

  “Sorry. I was out jogging. What are you doing out here?”

  “I needed some air.”

  “You want me to walk you home?” he offers.

  “No. I’m good. I’m just going to call Whisper and see if she wants to hang out,” I say quickly. A strange feeling slips under my skin as I watch him shift from foot to foot. Luke’s never made me feel uncomfortable until right now. I slide my phone out as he watches me.

  “I’ll hang out with you, if you want,” he offers as I bring the phone to my ear.

  “That’s okay.” Please pick up, Whisper.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey! What are you doing?” I ask happily when she answers yet never take my eyes off Luke.

  “Sleeping. What’s going on?”

  “Oh yeah? So, I’m down at the old square. I was wondering if you wanted to come hang out for a while.” Please pick up on the signs, Whisper.

  “That’s dangerous, Shane. What the hell is going on?”

  “So, you want to come?”

  “I’m on my way.” The line goes dead but I keep talking. Something evil lurks in the air, but I can’t place it.

  “Really? Yeah, that sounds like fun.”

  “Shane?” Luke says pulling my attention to him. “I’m gonna go.” Nodding, I watch him walk away as I laugh to myself at something the pretend Whisper is saying. This goes on for at least another ten minutes when I see headlights. Car doors slam when Knox is running toward me.

  “What the hell is going on?” he asks looking around the town square. That’s when I lose it. I break down and crumble. Sobs rip from my throat as I fall to my knees. Whisper’s there in no time, wrapping her arms around me.

  “Who was it? Who was here?”

  “Luke, but he didn’t do anything. It was just… I had this creepy feeling while he was here,” I admit.

  “Where did he go?” Knox asks, his hands balling at his sides.

  “I don’t know. When he knew Whisper was coming, he left.” Whisper helps me off the ground and pulls me into her side as she leads me to the car. I’m thankful when I get there that Callan isn’t inside. Whisper helps me in as Knox looks around.

  “Why are you even out here? What’s going on?”

  “I can’t go home, Whisper. I just can’t.” More tears. I hate tears. I hate feeling weak
and useless.

  “Fine. You’re staying with me.”

  “You don’t think you should run that by your man?” Knox asks climbing in the driver’s seat.

  “No, I don’t think I have to run it by anyone. I live there too, Knox, and I said she could stay,” she snaps.

  “I don’t want any trouble, Whisper. I just… I just need someplace for tonight. I’ll figure it all out tomorrow.”

  “You’re staying as long as you need to. I don’t care what Steele has to say about it,” she says.

  “It’s not Steele I’m worried about,” Knox chimes in from the front.

  “I’ll stay out of his way. I promise. I just want to sleep, anyway.”

  The car ride back to the house is silent. Whisper rubs my hand where she held it in hers but all I can think about is what I was going to do now. Where I’m going to go. I should have planned this out better. I didn’t plan on staying gone forever, just for the night. Yet again, I was stupid. I didn’t think.

  I climb out of the car when Knox opens the door, ushering us inside. I remember this place from when Callan and I dated in high school. It looks exactly the same.

  “You can stay in Dad’s old room. It’s a little messy but none of us will be going in there,” Knox says before walking away.

  “I shouldn’t be here,” I whisper under my breath.

  “You’re my friend. You should be here. I don’t know what’s happening but clearly you needed space. Now you have it. Come on,” she says leading me up the stairs and down the hall. Once we’re inside the room, I collapse onto the bed.

  “I’ll find you something to wear,” Whisper says as she leaves the room. I take a deep breath, begging myself not to cry again. I don’t know what I’m going to do but being out of that house sure does feel right.

  7

  Callan

  Steele laughs as we stumble back into the house. After his bullshit meeting, we met up for a few drinks. Which turned into a few more.

  “I’m going to get my dick sucked,” he says as we make our way up the stairs.

  “She’s going to cut that fucker off if she knows you were out drinking all night,” I remind him.

  “She won’t. She loves it too much.” His laughter echoes off the walls as he stumbles toward his room. The hall sways, the walls moving left and right. My head spins as I make my way down the hall. Falling into the last room, I chuckle under my breath.

  “You fucked up everything. Everything!” I roar as I stand in his room. I can’t believe he’s gone. I can’t believe we killed him. It was always going to happen but now? Now I want answers from a man that can’t give them.

  “You were a selfish bastard. Always caring more about you than anyone else.” My words are slurred but I don’t care. I need to say them. I need him to hear them in the depths of hell.

  “Callan?”

  “Oh shit! Are you a ghost? Ghost dad?” I laugh to myself when the light on the table flips on. I blink my eyes against the harsh light when I see her. Long blonde hair hanging around her perfectly heart-shaped face.

  “Are you okay?” she asks.

  “Are you sleeping with ghost dad?” I ask not really understanding what I’m saying.

  “What? What are you talking about?” She throws the blankets back and climbs out of the bed, her long legs bare and exposed.

  “You are sleeping with ghost dad!” Anger mixes with the alcohol in my veins as I think about it. How could she?

  “How much did you drink, Callan?” she asks coming toward me.

  “Not enough, apparently.”

  “Your dad is dead, Cal.”

  “Yeah, no shit. Who do you think killed him?” She gasps and I know I fucked up.

  “What the hell is the screaming about?” Knox’s voice filters through the room. I turn my head to look at him and then smile.

  “She’s fucking ghost dad,” I slur.

  “You’re an idiot. A drunk idiot.” That came from Knox. Shane giggles when my eyes move back to find her. I let my gaze slip over her tone body. From her bare legs to one of Whisper’s t-shirts.

  “You laughed. You haven’t laughed in a long time, Shane.” Her bright eyes slowly fade back into the nothingness that I’ve seen in her for a long time now. And I know why.

  “Let’s get you to your room,” Knox says, grabbing my wrist and tugging me. I turn on him, ready to fight.

  “Don’t touch me! The only one I want touching me is her,” I growl pointing in her direction. I’m lucky I’m drunk and have no idea what the hell I’m saying right now. Sober me would not be doing this but that’s the difference between drunk me. He thinks this is a great idea.

  “She doesn’t want to touch you. Come on, Cal.” Knox tries again when I shove him away.

  “She doesn’t? You don’t want to touch me, Shane?” Turning back to her, I see the way she looks at me. Or maybe it’s my drunken mind that thinks she’s looking at me like I’m her next meal.

  “Callan, go to sleep. This isn’t you,” Shane says shocking me a little. I stumble toward her, struggling with the way the room is spinning. When I’m close enough to her, I reach up and cup her cheek. Something in the back of my mind is telling me this is all wrong but I can’t think of why. So I don’t stop. I let my fingers run down her cheek, caressing her as her eyes slowly fall closed.

  “Yeah, she wants to touch me.”

  “Let’s go, Callan,” Knox says once more.

  “Will you take me?” I ask Shane, softly. Her eyes dance between mine, an unsure look crosses her face.

  “Fine. Come on.”

  “You don’t have to do this, Shane,” Knox chimes in.

  “You can shut up anytime, brother! She loves me! This is what people do for the one’s they love,” I remind him even though that doesn’t sound right leaving my lips. Shane rolls her eyes and grabs my arm leading me from the room.

  “I got him. It’s fine,” she says over her shoulder as she half drags me down the hall. All of my senses are on high alert. I can smell her. I can nearly taste her on the tip of my tongue.

  Shane leads me into my room and straight toward the bed. When she tries to sit me on the edge, I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her down with me.

  “Stop, Callan,” she says, although she doesn’t sound like she means it.

  “I just want to hold you, Shane. Just let me hold you, okay?”

  “We can’t do this,” she says softly.

  “You smell so damn good.” She does. It’s not a lie. I could breathe her in forever and never get tired of her smell.

  “I need to go, Callan.”

  “No.” The word came out as a growl. She doesn’t fight me. Did I scare her? Why do I like the sound of that so much? Damn, I’m beyond drunk.

  “Why do you need me here?” she asks in nearly a whisper.

  “I know all your secrets, Shane.” She tenses as I roll onto my side so that we are face to face. Maybe I’m an asshole or maybe drunk me just needs to push her but I keep going. My hand slowly slides down her side until I reach the hem of her shirt. When my hand touches her flesh, she jerks. God, I’ve missed that feeling. Touching her. Sliding my hand under the thin fabric, I let it run up her side to the swell of her breast.

  “You need to stop this, Callan. You’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re doing right now.”

  “I know what I’m doing. I know what you did too.” I remind her of the secret I hold.

  “I didn’t do anything,” she says, trying to push me off her.

  “Oh, you did. And I know. You let someone else slip in between these thighs, Shane. How could you do that?” I roll so that I’m on top of her, nuzzling my face into her neck.

  “Not since you, Callan. Please just stop this.” Is she begging? Fuck, I like when she begs. My cock hardens even more than it was, listening to her beg.

  “Not since me?” I ask pulling back so I can look down at her. She shakes her head as tears spring to her eyes. “Why?”

  “
I didn’t want anyone else.”

  “You were waiting for me?”

  “It’s not like that, Callan. I knew we were done,” she says softly.

  “We’re never done, Shane. We will never ever be done.” The groan that rips from my throat startles her. I run my hand back down her side, grabbing her panties in my hand and jerking. When I can’t get them to move, I sit up and rip them from her body.

  “Stop, Callan. You’re going to regret this,” she says, trying to push away from me. Not a chance in hell. I don’t care what she thinks I will regret. I won’t. I want her.

  “Not a chance in hell,” I growl pulling at my jeans. I kick them off my legs and lose my boxers along with them before I’m right back between her legs. Pressing my lips to hers, she’s hesitant. She doesn’t kiss me back and that pisses me off. Jerking my head back, I stare at her. I look right into her eyes as I grab my cock and slide inside of her.

  “Callan,” she cries. Not a good cry either. It’s sad. I don’t want to make her sad.

  “You’re so beautiful. I thought you would be my wife one day,” I tell her as I thrust inside of her. Tears fall down her cheeks as she watches me. Fuck, she feels so good. It’s like I was made to be inside of her. Shane is everything.

  “Stop.” I shake my head.

  “You don’t want that. You want me, Shane. I can feel you,” I whisper before pressing my lips to hers. When she turns her head, I stop moving.

  “You let him inside of you. You let him inside and then… God how could you do that?” I roar in her face. The secrets out or at least part of it is. Her face transforms into something I’ve never seen before. Her hands shove at me, trying to get me to move as she cries harder.

  “I told you I knew your secrets. How could you? With him of all people, Shane.” My own cries mean nothing as my cock decides now is a good time to finish. I come inside of her, my tears mixing with hers. I rest my face in her neck as we both cry.