Commander

by Kristy Marie

  Just thinking about the time when we trained all day brings a smile to my face. Some days I thought she hated me because of all the shit she put me through. Now I know that she was giving me control. Showing me what my body could handle. She showed me how to push on when I thought I had nothing left to give.

  I stroke an errant strand of hair from her face as her chest rises and falls against my leg. Incredible. She is absolutely incredible. I don’t understand how one person can hold so much power over another. But she does. Every one of the guys asked when she was coming home this weekend. Each of them sneaking FaceTime calls to her.

  We’re all fucked.

  “Hey.” I whip my head around to see a rumpled Theo, his eyes squinting in the light from the TV. From the looks of it, he just rolled out of bed.

  “Hey,” I return, turning back to the infomercial.

  “She asleep?” he asks, coming to sit in the recliner across from me.

  “Yep.”

  “I’ll take her up to bed.” He rises back to his feet.

  My grip tightens on her back. “I got her,” I clip out.

  He stands there a moment, staring me down, but whatever he sees in my eyes makes him sigh and return to the recliner. I continue to watch the TV like he isn’t there.

  “She would kick your ass if she knew you were still awake,” he says, his lip twitching in amusement.

  I glare at him, annoyed he is still here. “She would feel the same about you,” I return.

  He shrugs one shoulder and smiles at me arrogantly. “You woke me with all the noise you were making down here.”

  I roll my eyes and get back to my program. Entertaining his bullshit just eggs him on.

  A few blissful minutes of silence pass before I hear a soft groan. I look at Theo, praying he’s not jerking off or something.

  He’s massaging his shoulder, grimacing in pain.

  I jerk my chin, indicating his shoulder. “What’s going on with your arm?”

  “I need to ice it,” he grinds out between hard rubs.

  “Then go ice it,” I say, annoyed that he’s whining about it.

  “I can’t reach it.”

  Something like guilt or maybe pity settles in my stomach, churning over feelings I wish it wouldn’t. Why am I feeling sorry for this asshole?

  With a sigh, I ask the question I know I am going to regret, but ask anyway. “Want me to help you tape it up?”

  His head snaps up, his eyes wide and full of disbelief. Then his forehead scrunches up like he isn’t sure if I’m playing some kind of joke.

  “I’m serious. I know how to ice it. Ans taught me,” I say nonchalantly. I don’t want him making a big deal of it. Take my help or leave it, asshole.

  He looks at me for a moment and then mutters, “Okay.”

  I shift Ans off my legs and onto the couch before covering her with the only pink blanket in the house. For a moment Theo and I both just stand there and admire her sleeping form.

  “Come on,” I say after a beat and we walk to the treatment room in silence, where I unlock the door.

  Theo climbs onto the table after grabbing the wrap and kinetic tape, while I take a premade bag of ice out of the freezer. “Does she do anything else?”

  He shakes his head. “Not really. I will take extra turmeric when we finish.”

  He removes his shirt awkwardly, both of us feeling strange in our current situation. I try to tell myself that I’m doing this because he’s our bread and butter making this soon to be foundation happen. When we couldn’t get a loan or grant, Theo funded the money. But the truth is, Ans wouldn’t want him to be in pain. And my loyalty lies with her. She would want me to help him if I could.

  I take the tape from his hand and move to stand between his legs. The tension is palpable.

  “Tell me where,” I say nervously.

  Theo drags his fingers down the line of muscles that he needs the tape to go on. I’m thankful he is experienced with this kind of thing and doesn’t need me to press around to find the sore spots. I stretch the tape across the deltoid muscles he indicated with a firm press of my hand. He hisses out a painful breath, causing me to halt.

  “You okay?” I don’t want to fuck up a million-dollar arm.

  He grunts. “Yeah, keep going.”

  And I do until he tells me to stop. His shoulder and back look like a road map of pain with tape going in a hundred different directions. But after he rolls the muscles back and forth, he tells me it feels better.

  Good.

  I want to get this shit over with.

  I grab the ice and the wrap from the table. “Tell me where it needs to go,” I instruct again as I place the bag on his shoulder.

  He flinches away from the cold and pulls in a deep breath. After a few seconds of getting used to the temperature, he relaxes and directs me to the back of his shoulder blade.

  It’s a hard position to keep the bag on. It’s going to be interesting to wrap it up.

  “Can you help hold the bag?” I ask.

  “Yeah.” He reaches across his chest, stretching his arm, and barely clasps the corner of the bag. It’s obvious he’s in pain and uncomfortable in this position.

  That fucking feeling hits me again.

  “Let me try and tape it down first, then we can remove the tape after we secure the wrap.”

  He nods, relieved at my suggestion.

  I position the bag once again and add several pieces of tape. It slips from the moisture but holds long enough for me to get the wrap around it. I make several loops around his body, telling him when to lift and lower his arms just like I’ve seen Commander do a thousand times. It’s awkward. We are in each other’s personal space.

  Attempting to ease the tension, I ask a question that I have been more than curious about. “Why were you giving Commander hell this weekend?”

  Theo’s head raises slowly as he meets my stare. He blinks, one, two, three times, before he shrugs off my question, wincing at the motion. My brows arch in an unspoken challenge.

  He frowns and then as if choosing to take the loss of the silent war waging inside his head, he says in defeat, “I want to quit baseball.”

  My hands pause. Shocked at this statement, I stutter, “Why would you do that?” Pulling myself together, I add, “You’re in the prime of your career.”

  Is he crazy?

  He huffs out a laugh. “You wouldn’t understand.”

  “Try me,” I encourage, wrapping another layer of tape over his shoulder.

  He lets out an annoyed huff. And just when I think he is going to stay silent and take his secret to the grave, he speaks. “When we were kids, Anniston’s grandfather would play ball with us every evening after dinner. He was the coach for our high school baseball team,” he clarifies for me when I raise my eyebrows in surprise.

  Anniston never talks about her grandparents. Her past is a mystery that I have been beyond curious about.

  Theo pauses a moment, deep in thought. “Anyway, my parents weren’t around much and I stayed with Anniston and her grandparents as often as they would allow. Her grandfather, Hines, taught Anniston and me everything he knew about baseball. And we were like sponges, soaking up every bit of information. I made the baseball team that spring for our middle school. I finally felt like I belonged somewhere. Had a purpose, you know?”

  I give him an understanding nod, focusing on my task of wrapping his shoulder.

  “I was pitching no-hitter games and breaking records left and right. Baseball came naturally to me and with Hines’ help, I was an unstoppable force.” He smiles to himself at the memory. “And that little bounding beauty of ours was in the stands every single game. Screaming my name. Screaming out plays to me.”

  He chuckles to himself. “Even when parents and other visitors glared and fussed at her to shut up, she kept on rooting for me, coaching me from the stands. She never missed a game. Not even when she was sick.” He takes a deep breath. “What started out as a family ritual soon became
a driving need. A need to keep a smile on her face. A need to keep her screaming for me. A need to keep her. She became my obsession,” he admits, dropping his head. “I wasn’t playing for me anymore. I was playing for her. I was playing for keeps.”

  He pulls in a shuddering breath. “After Hines died, Anniston and I bonded even more over baseball. She became my mentor, my trainer, and… my love.”

  Sealing the wrap on his shoulder, I let his words hang in the air between us.

  His love.

  I watch as he takes a moment to test out the movement in his shoulder. Seemingly satisfied with my work, he hops off the table and heads to the door.

  “And now?” I ask bluntly just as he crosses the threshold. I can’t help but be curious as to how this story ends.

  He looks over his shoulder with a forced smile. “And now, she spends her days with you and I pitch to an empty seat.”

  Fuck me.

  Rubbing his shoulder, he meets my eyes. “Thanks,” he says almost sadly. “Will you bring her up?”

  I nod, stunned into silence.

  When he leaves, I clean up and lock the door behind me, dragging my feet back to the family room, where a sleeping Anniston is snoring softly.

  I steal a minute to admire her in private before I scoop her up, cradling her small body to my chest. And with the weight of a thousand pounds of guilt, I carry the girl I love more than my next breath up the stairs and lay her down next to the man who, quite possibly, loves her more than I do.

  “Commander. Major would like to see you in his office.”

  I am elbow deep scrubbing disgusting man juice or whatever foreign substance someone secreted onto the sink. I don’t even want to consider what it might be. Who knows what these jerk-offs do when I’m not here. I keep on task, barely registering Vic’s request until he clears his throat. Again.

  Slowly, I raise my head from the sink and level him with a look. “Do you know what the fuck this is, Vic?”

  He has the audacity to look sheepish. He clears his throat again and stumbles over his words. “I will finish cleaning, ma’am.” He takes a tentative step forward and reaches for the Brillo pad in my hand.

  I squint my eyes, trying to figure out just what they were up to. But you know what? Sometimes ignorance is bliss. I toss it to him, wiping my hands on my shorts. “It better come off,” I warn.

  He nods his understanding before swallowing thickly. “Yes, ma’am.”

  I mutter, “Nasty asses,” as I pass him and head to Cade’s office.

  It’s interesting that Cade summoned me. Someone has some balls today. I’m kind of excited to see what he wants. This is the first time I have been “summoned” to his office. I feel like a naughty schoolgirl.

  When I reach the downstairs nook that we created for Cade’s office, he is perched behind the desk, his black-framed glasses resting on his nose. He reminds me of Superman. Hot as fuck, stronger than any man should be allowed to be. I take a moment to admire my friend. He’s come a long way and I have to say, I’m not sure what I would ever do without him. But that’s the goal. I want him to be healthy and meet someone. I want him to pop out lots of babies for me to hold. I want him to be cherished. I want someone to honor him and worship the man he is.

  “Commander.” His gruff voice pulls me from my daydream about his future. He extends his hand, motioning for me to enter.

  What is this? The Twilight Zone? I start to laugh but quickly rein it in when I see how serious he is about this meeting. Color me intrigued.

  I plop down in the leather-bound chair across from him, tucking my legs under me. “Yes, my liege? You rang?”

  He glares at me, not all at amused with my humor this morning. I grin, hoping to lighten the tone of this meeting. It’s too early for drama or bullshit, so if it’s going to be bad news, give it to me with a smile.

  Eventually, Cade breaks when I blow him a kiss. Shaking his head, amusement etched in his features, he slides an envelope across the desk. “Markell is pitching tonight,” he says confidently.

  And… I knew that. Markell is Theo’s best pitching rival. Both are gunning for the Cy Young award this year. Their stats are neck and neck. Markell might actually get it if I’m being honest. Hopefully Theo has his head out of his ass and throws worth a fuck tonight. He left yesterday in a pouty ball of hateful ass.

  I nod in agreement, taking the envelope. Inside are two plane tickets for this afternoon. I look at Cade, confused. “You want to go?”

  His lips quirk up in a sweet smile. “I would, but someone needs to stay here.”

  When I just stare at him with obvious bewilderment, he explains. “He needs you there. Hayes will be going with you. It’s all arranged. I will take care of everything here.”

  I start to protest when he cuts me off.

  “Let me do this, Commander. He would want you there.”

  The sincere look in those emerald eyes causes my heart to contract painfully. Theo would want me there but I feel torn. I haven’t been home long from Washington.

  “What will you do at night?” I counter. He still screams every night. And every night we go downstairs and run or play video games. He’s not as feral as he was in the beginning but still… I worry. Leaving for Washington last week was hard, but Theo needed me more.

  Cade’s smile drops a little. “I promise to take the pill while you are away.”

  Now, he’s talking my language.

  “You promise?”

  This is seriously a big deal for him. I think he knows I would worry, and this is his way of compromising.

  “I promise. But just for the one night.”

  I can live with that. Finally excited, I jump out of my chair. “Deal!” I push out my fist.

  He laughs jovially before returning my fist bump. “Go pack, Commander. Your plane leaves in four hours.”

  I grab his sweet, giving face and place a chaste kiss on his cheek before straightening. “Yes sir!”

  I flee from the room in search of Hayes and leave Cade’s sweet laughter behind.

  “Connor Hayes!” I shout, taking two steps at a time.

  He pokes his grinning face around the corner of the landing. The mischievous look in his eyes tells me he already knew the plan.

  “We’re going on a vacay,” he sings, jumping in front of me when I reach the top of the stairs, grinding my hip in a ridiculous dance move. His excitement at seeing a live game (something I recently learned he has never done before) is contagious. I return his silly moves with equally stupid ones of my own.

  Eventually, we scatter when Cade barks for us to get a move on. Hayes and I retreat to our rooms, and I throw entirely too much shit in my suitcase. We convene at the top of the stairs and I hand off my suitcase with a smile so he will carry it down. You have to train them up right, ladies. They will not read your mind and offer, no matter what romance novels tell you. You have to tell the little panty droppers what needs to be done. Then, reward them for their good behavior.

  Hayes gives me a wink before hurling my suitcase down the stairs. I’m just about to shove him down after it when I hear a grunt at the bottom of the stairs. Mason caught it. I give Hayes a dirty look.

  Sneaky.

  Roaring out laughter, he throws his suitcase next before bounding down the stairs like a little kid. “Let’s go, Commander! Time’s a wasting.”

  I can’t keep the stupid smile from my face. I don’t think I have been this excited to see a game in a long time.

  Aspen Field is buzzing with excitement when we arrive. Hayes has been bouncing around like a stripper on a Friday night. It’s infectious. But because the first inning is about to start, we damn near sprint to will call. Thank you very much, Crossfield International Airport. No, we didn’t want to arrive on time. How silly of us to think such a thing…

  Out of breath, I bark out my name to the attendant.

  He gives me a fake smile and types my name in his computer. Then he looks up with a genuine smile. “There’s a passwor
d on the account.”

  Fuck you, Theo.

  Hayes looks at me, confused.

  I shake him off and with a deep breath mutter, “Theo is the best I have ever had.” No, this isn’t the first password incident. Theo likes his games.

  The attendant’s smile grows wide. Hayes disguises a laugh as choking. Traitor. The attendant slides the VIP tickets under the window with a bemused chuckle. I snatch them without a thank you.

  Fuck guys and their pettiness.

  I elbow Hayes in the ribs, effectively calming his giggles. “Come on,” I order, taking his hand and pulling him in the direction of our seats.

  As we make our way down the steps, a Sasquatch blocks our path. I don’t even need to look up. I know it’s Thor, Theo’s security. The tickets must have had a note to call him if I showed.

  “I brought my own security today,” I say, trying to shove past him. It’s like ramming into a cement column.

  “I see,” he drawls slowly, eyeing Hayes with scrutiny and something like disgust. “However, that doesn’t change anything.”

  Someone is all business today. Whatever.

  I shrug. “Do what you must but we’re missing the game dealing with your attitude.”

  Thor grunts but moves to the side, bringing up the rear. “Let the boy go first. You in the middle.”

  Hayes’s eyebrows shoot up. Now it’s my turn to laugh. “That’s right, boy. Get a move on.” I slap his ass with a snicker and the tips of his ears turn red.

  Thor offends everyone. Thor is not even his real name. I doubt Theo remembers what it is. He gave him the moniker during his first ever shift with him. Theo did something crazy and as you may have guessed, Thor roared and hauled Theo out of his precarious situation with brute strength, like Thor. I think his real name is David. But David here, has been a real pain in my ass for the past couple of years; so I join in his humiliation and refer to him as Thor, too. Secretly, he probably likes it. Guys like those impressive nicknames. Makes them feel powerful.

  The music pounds, rocking the stadium into a frenzy. Hayes, not immune to its pull, starts swaying his hips down the stairs. My coveted two seats behind home plate call to me like a beacon.