Hating to Love You (Houston's Finest #1)

by Erin Rylie

  She huffed and removed her hand before pulling out her phone. “Well, if you’re going to be like that, can you at least let me get a picture with you? My friends won’t believe me without picture proof.”

  What is it with women in bars and fucking pictures? Fuck it, maybe if I get this over with, she’ll finally leave me the fuck alone.

  He stood, gripping the back of the barstool to steady himself as the room swam. The girl handed her phone to her friend, who was currently wrapped around Carlos like a damn octopus.

  “Steph, quick! Take a picture for me!”

  He started to turn toward the camera, when the girl’s hands wrapped around his neck and pulled. He began to fall forward and she took advantage of his momentum, pressing her lips to his. He hardly noticed the flash of her camera phone as he put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her away.

  “What the fuck?”

  Carlos jumped up from his seat, pulling the girl away from him. “Not fucking cool, ladies. You better delete that goddamn picture. Come on, Rafe, let’s get you home.”

  His friend slung Rafe’s arm around his shoulder, taking his weight and walking them in the direction of the door. All Rafe could think about was getting to Sophie and kissing her. He needed to get the taste of that awful girl off of his lips.

  Who the fuck does shit like this?

  The air outside the bar was hot and humid, and Carlos had Rafe lean against the wall as he pulled out his phone and used his app to request a car. When the vehicle pulled up, Rafe slid into the front seat and gave the driver Sophie’s address.

  “Rafe, that’s not how it works. I gave him the address to your apartment. You’re fucking bombed, man; you need to go home.”

  He shook his head and repeated the address, leaning his head against the window. His head was still swimming, and he just wanted to lie down with Sophie wrapped in his arms.

  He must’ve fallen asleep because when he next opened his eyes, they were in Sophie’s driveway. Carlos opened the door and pulled Rafe out of the car, heading in the direction of the door. His head hit his chest, too heavy for him to hold up at this point.

  Rafe heard a knock and the door opened. At the sound of Sophie’s melodious voice, he smiled and lifted his head.

  “Baby,” he murmured.

  “Jesus, Rafe. How fucking wasted are you?”

  He tried to shrug but wasn’t entirely sure the movement was successful. His body felt so heavy. “Had some shots.”

  Sophie laughed and gestured for Carlos to bring him into the house. When they made it into the bedroom, he fell back onto the bed. He heard Sophie and Carlos leave the room, and the sound of the front door closing before Sophie returned. She helped him strip down to his boxers, and he moved himself up to the pillow, grabbing Sophie’s hand and pulling her down to join him. He wrapped his body around hers and kissed her shoulder.

  “Love you, Soph,” he muttered. He didn’t hear her response, his eyelids finally drifting closed.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Sophie woke in the morning to the slight creak of her door opening. When she saw Kelsey in the doorway gesturing for her to come into the hallway, she gently removed herself from Rafe’s embrace and walked out of her room. Kelsey pulled her into the living room, handing her a cup of coffee and gesturing for her to sit on the couch.

  “I appreciate the coffee, but is there a reason you dragged me out of bed this early?”

  The look in Kelsey’s eyes made Sophie’s heart pound. Her friend was looking at her with a mix of concern and anger. What had happened? She swore, if Kelsey’s piece of shit ex-husband had hurt her again, she’d run him over with her car.

  “Kels, what’s going on? Did Kyle do something? Is James okay?”

  “James is fine. He’s with Kyle right now. I need to show you something.” Kelsey took a deep breath, and Sophie’s stomach dropped. “I was scrolling through pictures on Instagram, looking up the ‘Houston’s Finest’ hashtag and I came across pictures of Rafe and Carlos last night.”

  Sophie sighed. “You need to stop doing this to yourself. Every time you search that hashtag, you know you’re going to find pictures of Carlos wrapped around some floozy.”

  Kelsey shook her head. “This isn’t about Carlos, it’s about Rafe. You need to see this picture.”

  Her friend handed Sophie her phone, and she could feel her hands shaking as she gripped the device. She didn’t want to look down. Based on her friend’s reaction alone, she knew what she would see, and she wasn’t ready for the heartbreak it would bring. Kelsey nodded, confirming her suspicions, and Sophie took a deep breath, steeling herself before she looked down.

  The picture was a bit blurry, clearly taken in a bar, and Sophie could feel her heart shattering as she took in the details. The image wasn’t all that clear, but she could easily make out Rafe’s broad shoulders and sandy blonde hair. He was leaning into a redhead, her arms around his neck and his lips on hers. Her breaths began to shorten, and she could feel the tears rolling down her cheeks.

  How can this be happening to me again? Haven’t I been cheated on enough?

  Though she’d gone through this before, her former heartbreaks had nothing on this feeling. She felt as though she’d been stabbed, and she bent over, her hands on her stomach. Sophie was going to be sick, and she couldn’t seem to suck in a full breath. She swore she could actually feel her heart shattering this time; the pain in her chest was real and all-consuming.

  A high keening noise filled the room and she realized that it was coming from her. She barely felt Kelsey’s arms wrap around her, and she couldn’t make out any of the words her friend was uttering. Sophie didn’t think she could come back from this one. How could she possibly recover? She had finally let herself fall for someone she thought was her future. They’d just professed their love for one another two nights ago. That night felt so far removed from this moment that she wondered if it had even happened in this lifetime.

  Kelsey continued to rub her back, reminding her to breathe, encouraging her to suck in deep breaths and release them slowly. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been sitting there before she heard his voice.

  “Sophie? Baby, what’s wrong?”

  Kelsey released her and stood, but Sophie didn’t turn around. She couldn’t face him, couldn’t look into his eyes without breaking down further.

  Her friend’s voice was filled with steel when she spoke. “You need to get the fuck out of our home. Now.”

  Rafe sputtered. “What are you talking about? What’s going on? Sophie, baby, look at me. I don’t understand what’s happening.”

  “You piece of shit. There are pictures from last night, Rafe. Pictures of you kissing some other fucking woman,” Kelsey spat.

  Sophie remained hunched on the couch, still trying to get her breathing under control, the tears continuing to stream down her face.

  “Last night? I don’t—no.” Rafe’s voice broke on the last word. “Sophie, no. I was drunk and she kissed me. I pushed her away immediately. Please, you have to believe me. I would never cheat on you. Call Carlos, he saw the whole thing.” His voice was desperate, and he sounded as though he was on the verge of tears himself.

  She couldn’t hold in the sounds anymore, and her sobs filled the room. She hardly recognized the noises leaving her mouth.

  “Get the fuck out. NOW!” Kelsey yelled. “I will call the police if you don’t leave in the next ten seconds.”

  “Okay, okay. I’ll leave. Sophie, baby, I love you. I would never cheat on you. Please call me. I can explain everything.”

  Sophie didn’t look up. She merely shook her head. She heard Rafe sigh and leave the room, the sound of the front door closing following his footsteps.

  Chapter Thirty

  “Fuck!” Rafe’s voice carried through his small apartment. He couldn’t breathe and he didn’t know what to do. His chest was tight, the anguish in Sophie’s sobs echoing in his head, making him sick to his stomach. He needed to fix this, but h
e didn’t know how. He only remembered pieces of last night, but he knew he’d pushed that girl away.

  He pulled his phone from his pocket and called the only person who could help. Carlos didn’t answer on the first call, so Rafe called repeatedly until he did.

  “Fuck, it’s eight in the morning and I’m hungover as hell. What is wrong with you, man?”

  Rafe sucked in a breath and told Carlos about his morning, about waking up to find Sophie gone, his confrontation with Kelsey, and Sophie’s reaction to the picture.

  “You were there, man. You need to call Kelsey and tell her everything. I don’t know what else to do. Sophie is everything to me, Carlos. Fucking everything.”

  “Alright, alright, calm down. I’ll call Kelsey now. You need to chill the fuck out though. Panicking isn’t going to fix shit. We’ll figure this out. I’ll call you back in a few.”

  Rafe hung up the phone and paced his apartment. If this didn’t work, he didn’t know how to convince Sophie that it had all been a mistake. Why the hell had he gotten that drunk? If he’d taken fewer shots, or gone home sooner, none of this shit would’ve happened. He sat on the couch and put his head in his hands. The need to do something—anything—pulled at him. He couldn’t just sit here while the only relationship that had ever meant something to him ended. He pulled at his hair in frustration.

  Knowing he’d only drive himself crazy sitting here on the couch, he got up and headed to the bathroom. He smelled like a damn brewery, and all he wanted to do was wash the last twelve hours off of himself.

  He’d just stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist when he heard his phone ringing in the living room. He rushed to answer it, hoping against hope that it was Sophie. He just needed to hear her voice; he needed to hold her and tell her he loved her. They couldn’t end like this—he wasn’t ready for it, didn’t know if he’d ever be ready for it.

  He sighed when he saw the name on the screen, swiping to answer.

  “Rafe? Okay, I called Kelsey. You better thank my ass because she fucking yelled at me for like ten minutes straight. I swear, my balls went into hiding, and I don’t know if they’ll ever come back out. That woman is goddamn terrifying.”

  “Carlos! What did she say?”

  He sighed. “I think she believes me, but she said Sophie needs time. She wanted me to tell you to leave them alone.”

  “Fuck! Carlos, I can’t just leave her alone. I need to talk to her, I need to explain.”

  “You need to give her space, dude. She knows the truth now. Let her think things through.”

  “Shit, you’re right. Okay, I can do that. I can give her space. Thanks, man. I’ll talk to you later.”

  Before he put his phone down, he texted Sophie.

  Rafe: I’ll give you time to think things through. Call me when you’re ready to talk. I love you so much, Sophie. I’m not giving up on us. Take good care of our avocado for me.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Sophie woke up slowly on Monday morning, immediately reaching across the bed in search of Rafe’s warmth. When her hand only felt cool, smooth sheets, she wrapped her arms around herself and let the tears come. She thought she’d be done crying by now, but the tears continued to come in waves, her grief hitting her again and again. She’d been cheated on—again. The thought alone stole the breath from her lungs.

  Kelsey had told her all about Carlos’s phone call yesterday, and Sophie wasn’t sure it made a difference. If Carlos was to be believed, Rafe didn’t actually cheat. Did that matter though? He’d put himself in that position: he’d chosen to get too drunk to function. And even if she was able to brush this aside and forgive him, would it change anything? Rafe would always have women behaving this way around him. Hell, the waitress on their first date had slipped him her damn number! She knew for a fact that women still called the paper trying to get his contact information, and she was sure women continued to throw themselves at him in his daily life.

  Did she want to live like this? Always wondering if he would break and take one of those women up on their offer? She wanted to believe he would never cheat; he’d never given any indication that he would. She just wasn’t sure she could overcome her own insecurities.

  Sophie pulled herself out of bed and took a shower. Broken heart or not, she needed to get to work. Now that she wasn’t being asked to write fluff pieces, she was happy with her role as a copyeditor. She still longed to edit novels, but had begun to wonder if she could offer her services to indie authors. The romance industry was beginning to lean more toward indie publishing, so she knew she would be able to find clients. If she built a name for herself, she may even be able to quit her job at the Houston Reporter and work as an editor only.

  She’d been thinking about it more and more over the last few weeks. Working from home would give her time to raise her daughter, and with the way things had been progressing with Rafe, she wasn’t sure she’d want to leave Houston.

  Now though, Sophie wasn’t sure what she wanted. She got ready quickly, tossing her hair into a messy bun and putting on a simple black T-shirt tucked into a flowy, floral-patterned skirt. It was one of the only skirts she currently owned that was comfortable over her baby bump. She smiled and ran her hand down her stomach.

  “I’m not sure what’s going to happen with your father, but at least I’ll always have you.”

  She would pull herself together for her child. She needed to think about her daughter first, herself second. Sophie knew that Rafe would be in their life whether they worked out things between them or not, and she needed to stop wallowing and talk to him. She pulled out her phone and shot off a quick text.

  Sophie: Can we talk tonight? I’ll head over after work.

  Rafe’s response came within seconds, as though he’d been waiting to hear from her.

  Rafe: Of course. I’ll be here, Sophie.

  She was getting ready to walk out the door when her phone rang in her hands. She didn’t recognize the number, but it was from a New York area code.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, is this Sophie Klein?”

  “Yes,” she replied hesitantly. She didn’t recognize the man’s voice and was anxious to see what the call was about.

  “Great! My name is Chris, and I’m calling from Nottingham Publishing. Your boss, Karen, sent over a copy of your resume along with a fantastic letter of recommendation. She also sent me a portfolio of your work, and I have to say, I’m impressed. I would love to schedule a Skype interview with you today, if at all possible.”

  Sophie hadn’t asked Karen about her recommendation letter in a few months, not sure that she even wanted it anymore with everything going on in her life. She should’ve known her boss would send it anyway. She’d never expected her dream job to come calling, and she wasn’t quite sure how to react. Sophie didn’t know that she would take the position, but she wanted to at least have options.

  “Absolutely, I have free time at noon central standard time. Will that work for you?” she replied as calmly as possible. Internally, she was losing her shit, but she had at least managed to sound as though she had it together.

  “Fantastic. I’ll speak to you then, Sophie. I will send you a calendar invite with my Skype information.”

  “Thank you, Chris. I look forward to learning more about the position.”

  The interview went by in a blur, Sophie answering questions confidently and succinctly. She wasn’t sure of much in her life right now, but she knew she was a damn good editor, and she was familiar with Nottingham Publishing and all of their imprints. She’d done her research. Chris was in his thirties, with brown hair, brown eyes, and a friendly smile that put her immediately at ease. Before long, they were just talking about their favorite upcoming releases, forgoing the formal interview entirely.

  “Well, Sophie, I can say with a hundred percent certainty that you’d be an incredible fit for our team. How would you feel about relocating to New York?”

  Sophie bit her lip. T
his was the part she wasn’t sure about. She didn’t know if she would be able to work things out with Rafe, but could she take their daughter away from him? He would be devastated if she moved to New York with their child.

  “That’s the part I’m not sure about, Chris. I’m pregnant, and the father of my child lives here in Houston.”

  “Well, I would really love to have you on our team. Editors can work remotely for the most part; let me see what I can work out with the higher-ups. Tell me this, though, would you be willing to travel to New York on a regular basis?”

  Sophie contemplated it. Sure, it wasn’t ideal, but Rafe or her father could watch their daughter while she was gone.

  “I won’t be able to travel in my third trimester, but after the baby is born, I’m sure I could work it out.”

  Chris nodded. “Okay, let me see what I can do. I’ll let you know by the end of the week. I will ask that you consider a move to New York, however. Maybe the father would consider moving with you?”

  Sophie swallowed. “I’ll think about it. Thank you, Chris.”

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Rafe paced his apartment, running his hands through his hair nervously. Sophie was due to arrive any minute and he had no idea how this conversation would go. He hoped they could work it out; he couldn’t imagine his life without her anymore. He’d been a complete mess for the last thirty-six hours. Hell, he had barely paid attention in his meeting with the sergeant this morning. He hoped he’d nodded in all of the right places, because he hadn’t heard a word uttered. His heart stopped in his chest when he heard a knock at the door, and he took a deep breath before answering.

  Fuck, she was gorgeous. There were bags under her eyes, and they were red-rimmed, as though she’d been crying, but she was still the most breathtaking woman he’d ever laid eyes on. He clenched his hands into fists, fighting the urge to reach for her and bury his head in her neck. He needed to hold her, but he knew she wasn’t ready for that. Instead, Rafe stepped aside and gestured for her to come in. He should’ve probably said something, but his throat was clogged with emotion, and he was so damn nervous.