I chuckle. “I’m sure Stella’s rock golem helped influence their decision in staying away.”
Aiden’s hand leaves my back and moves to my hip.
I lean into him, and he smiles against my cheek.
“Oh, I’m sure that was a contributing factor.”
I notice a framed certificate hanging on the wall behind him. In gold letters, it sparkles, YOUTH ABILITY COMPETITION CHAMPION.
“Mr. YAC Champion,” I say, wanting to change the conversation. “You know, you’ll be the most sought out mentor next year, but hopefully, you’ll be mine.”
He moves backward and his eyebrows raise with intrigue. “Does that mean you’ll take the test?”
I nod. “Yeah. I need to get into the program.”
“What made you commit?”
“To be honest?” I take a shaky breath. “It was the comments from Black Mold, Johnny, and Jill about my parents. They were clearly murdered because they got involved with something they shouldn’t have. I need to find out what it was, and, if I get in the Defender program, it’ll help me rub shoulders with the right people who may have answers.”
Aiden chuckles. “You know you could probably call any Guardian and they would talk to you, right?”
“Actually, I doubt they would tell me anything. Erik mentioned he looked into their deaths before but kept hitting dead ends. If he couldn’t get anywhere, with actually being a Guardian—especially one of the most beloved—I doubt I’ll have that easy of a time. I have to be sneaky about this and keep my ears open. Plus, Jill mentioned they have people on the inside. I’m not sure who I can trust right now, and who knows, maybe I’ll learn something from other students on campus? They like to talk, and you never know what someone may have seen or heard back then.”
“Boy, isn’t that the truth.” Aiden stares off into space.
“What does that mean?”
He rubs the back of his neck. “Oh … just, I learned about Jill before. Supposedly, she fell victim to a curse on campus last year. It’s something regarding one student a year. They lose their mind for no good reason, and sadly, after what I saw of Jill, she really did seem to have lost it.”
“What? Really? This is true? I’ve never heard about it. That may be what Jill was talking about when she said someone at the university passes information about who would make the next best test subject and they become the cursed one.”
“Unfortunately, Jill was probably telling the truth. I was told no campus official will admit the curse, but, of course, that doesn’t stop others from talking.” Aiden rubs his head and frowns. “But it makes me think, why do campus officials stay quiet about it? Is everyone part of it?”
I stare off into space, feeling a new kind of despair engulf me. This school is supposed to be safe—a place for future Guardians and other students to figure out their place in the world. “It’s scary to think about, that’s for sure.”
The weight of this situation sits around us, almost like the air pressure gets heavier. I don’t even know where to begin to look for answers—other than Aiden’s informant.
I turn to Aiden. “So ... who told you about the curse?”
Aiden glances at me. “Scott.”
My heart drops. “Scott? The same Scott from earlier?”
“One and the same.”
I purse my lips. “He’s … a real asshole.”
“Yes. Yes, he is.” Aiden’s eyes smolder, and he pushes back some of my hair. “But I guess he assumes you like his type, since he thinks he could take you from me.”
I bite my lip while taking the sight of Aiden’s muscular frame, white hair, and those gorgeous blue eyes of his. “He has nothing on you. Trust me.”
Aiden’s lips move into the most seductive grin I’ve ever seen. “Oh, really?” He comes closer to me, and, before I know it, his lips are on my neck. His touch is intoxicating.
My eyes roll back, enjoying the shivers he’s causing. “He just doesn’t have that spark.”
Aiden adjusts to kiss my bottom lip, and a small spark nips me. The sensation doesn’t hurt but causes a sudden fire to ignite in me, warming me from my head to my toes. My chest rises rapidly with my breaths, and the desire to have more of him consumes me. My hands travel up his solid torso and onto his shoulders, bringing him closer to me.
“Well, I would hope not,” he says breathlessly against my mouth. “I want to be the only one who makes you tingle. I am the one with the electric touch, after all.”
Our lips come together, hungry for more. Aiden pushes me onto his bed and hitches my leg over his hip. His hands roam, discovering my curves, and I moan loudly in his mouth.
I work on unbuttoning his shirt, wanting to feel his skin under my hands.
He joins me in the mission and throws his shirt behind him.
I break away, gasping for air, and his lips move back to my neck.
His tongue teases me, and I arch into him.
I let my hands drift downward across his abs to the edge of his pants. My heartbeat pounds against his, strong with nerves and passion. “Aiden, I want you,” I whisper into his ear. He smells of cinnamon.
He stops, breathing hard against me, and grips my thigh harder. He inches backward, and his stare is intense. His eyes are heavy with lust, and his thin lips are the most desirable things in the world. I run my finger across them, and he shivers at my touch. “Em, I-I want you too.”
My heart flutters. “Then what are we waiting for?” I kiss him. Our mouths get lost in each other’s quickly.
He groans, and his body pins mine against the bed.
I grab at his belt buckle, and he breaks away.
“Em … wait.” His eyes tremble, like a new fear has settled into them. “We … We can’t do this.” He rolls off the bed, leaving me to deal with the abrupt wave of rejection.
I sit upright and battle back a threat of tears. “Oh. Okay.” The tension in the air is thick, and I’ve never felt so awkward in my life.
Aiden runs his hand over his head and exhales a long breath of air. He walks to his desk and grips the chairback. His knuckles go white, and all the muscles in his back tense.
A mixture of emotions nag me but mainly sadness, betrayal, and anger. “Can … Can I ask why not?”
He doesn’t move. “I don’t think today is the best time. With everything that has … No. I must be honest with you about something before we can go any further in our relationship.”
I wriggle off his bed and stand. “Is this about why you pushed me away before? I know we still have a lot we need to talk about. Just … with everything that happened, it kind of got pushed on the back burner.”
His head falls. “It is.”
I go to him and place my hands on his shoulders.
He relaxes at my touch.
“Then tell me so we can move on with our lives.”
“Dammit. Why do I have to love you so much?” The sadness is strong in his voice. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
His words pierce my heart, and I tense. I want to lash out at him, be angry; I don’t understand why he’s doing this. Why is he talking like this? What in the world could be causing him this level of anguish about being with me? “Aiden, I think you need to explain yourself and just tell me what’s going on.”
He turns and tears drip from his face. “I need to tell you something about my past.”
Chapter 36
Aiden
Ember’s bright green eyes reflect her confusion. “What about your past?”
How can I do this? I see my future with her. I see us building our lives together, supporting each other, and being partners. If I tell her the truth, that future goes down the drain. I could probably spin this and downplay everything. I’ll just talk about my depression and that I felt like I could never be good enough for anyone—especially her. How would she ever find out otherwise? She would never know about my involvement with her parents. But … I can’t do that. Our life together would be built on a lie, and I
would never truly have her. My mom was right; honesty is the only way.
My stomach flips. “I-I don’t even know where to start.”
She sighs and attempts a smile. “Just start at the beginning.”
“I guess it is that easy, isn’t it?” I chuckle … sob? One or the other.
More tears roll down my face, and she wipes them away. “Aiden, please tell me. You’re starting to really scare me.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t want to scare you. Just, what I have to tell you may change the way you feel about me.”
Her brows come together. “I don’t think anything could do that. You don’t understand how much I love you.”
Her words slice at my heart. I’m going to hurt her, and I can’t do anything about that. “I love you too. That’s what makes all this so much harder.”
She crosses her arms and moves backward. “Are … you still in love with someone else? Is there an old girlfriend I don’t know about?”
My eyes almost pop out of my head. “What? No! There’s only you, and you should know that.”
She nods, accepting my answer. “I do, but it’s the only thing I can think of that would explain why you’re acting like this.”
My fear attempts to suffocate me. “It’s about something that happened to me a long time ago.”
“Is it about why you had a hard time in middle school?”
“It is.” I stare at the floor, not really seeing anything other than my past. “I was a young, stupid kid and not the person you see in front of you today. I was much more selfish and only toyed with my abilities because I thought they were cool. At one point, I did stop using them all together because of my dad, which I told you about already.”
“Yes. You did.”
The familiar sensation of anxiety rushes through my veins, and my heart beats irregularly for a moment. I feel a little lightheaded and rub my forehead to try to make it feel better. “One day, I ran away from my house because I made my mom mad. I ended up in a vacant part of town, where the new arena is now.”
“What did you do to upset her?”
I take a deep breath and glance to see her emerald-colored eyes staring patiently at me. “That part doesn’t matter. What does matter is this was the same day your parents were murdered.”
Her eyes double in size, realizing I’m referring to the area where her parents met their fate. “What?”
I’m unable to control my hands from shaking. “I was being stupid, blowing off some steam. Your father found me there while he was fighting Iron Forge,” I say slowly.
Her face pales, and she stands as if she just became marble. “You … You saw my father?”
“I did.” I take a deep breath. “He got me to safety, but fire fell from the sky a few blocks from us. He knew your mom needed help, and he instructed me to get away from the area. Then he left.”
Ember’s eyes dance wildly around, not focusing on anything. “Okay, so he saved you, and then you went home? That’s not a big deal.” She takes a long breath, and her stare penetrates me. “You didn’t go home, did you?”
I shake my head, and my heart quivers. “No. I didn’t.”
We don’t take our gazes off each other, both terrified of what the other may say.
My words spill from me like an overturned pop can. “I was a stupid kid, Ember. I thought I could help your parents, and I went after your father. I didn’t realize what I was getting myself into—”
Her hand flies to her mouth. “No … You were the kid,” she whispers.
“What?” I don’t know what else to say. She’s somehow known about me this whole time?
She drops her hand, and her eyes flicker with her inner fire. “Erik told me he found a kid passed out near my parents. He couldn’t stay with them because he needed to get you to the hospital.”
It feels like a bowling bowl was just dropped on my chest. “I didn’t know it was him who found me.”
Her mouth trembles. “You … You hid all this from me! Why?”
“I was instructed to never tell anyone, I guess for my own safety. There was speculation that Black Mold and Iron Forge would come back for me.” I move closer to her and gently hold the side of her arms. “Also … the closer I got to you, the more worried I became about you finding out.”
She struggles to breathe for a moment. “What happened? Tell me exactly what happened that day.”
I grip her harder, like I’m bracing her for my story. “Your mom was already in trouble by the time I got there. I was … too weak from using my abilities earlier to do anything.”
“My dad?”
“He was battling Iron Forge, but … he ran for your mom.” This is the part where I’ll lose her forever. “He saw me … and stopped.”
Ember’s eyes widen, and tears rush from them. “Then?”
My head lowers, heavy with shame. “Iron Forge threw a spear … and … you know the rest.”
“So, you distracted my dad from saving my mom? And from the weapon that took his life!” Her eyes become the color of lava and swirls. She grits her teeth. “And you hid this from me? While getting closer to me the whole time?”
I take my hands off her, knowing there’s no way she wants my touch right now. “Em, your mom was already gone. And your father … I don’t know that he could’ve taken them both on by himself.”
“But you did nothing to help them!”
“I was weak! I hadn’t used my abilities in so long, and … and I was scared. I froze. I didn’t realize it until it was too late, but, Ember, I wanted to help them.” Tears fall uncontrollably. “I wanted to be able to save them! That day messed me up for years! I still deal with anxiety attacks because of it!”
“Why didn’t you tell me! How dare you! You get me to fall in love with you just to crush my heart?”
“Why do you think I pushed you away so many times! I knew it was wrong, but dammit, I just had to fall in love with you! The way you make me laugh, the way you feel in my arms, how talking to you is the most natural thing in the world—it was too easy to fall for you!”
“No!” Her eyes burn more intensely. “I don’t want to hear this! I don’t want to hear that you love me! If you really loved me, you would’ve been honest with me from the beginning!”
“Would that have really made a difference?”
“Yes! I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you! I would’ve stayed away from the only person who could’ve saved my parents but didn’t!”
Her words slap me. “You really think we could’ve stopped this?” I step for her. “Do you really think we could’ve stayed away from each other?”
She heads for the door. “I need to leave. I can’t stay here with you.”
I hurry to her, not accepting that our conversation is over. I pull her to me, desperate for her to stay. “Please, please don’t walk out on me!”
She fights against me and hits my naked chest. “Let me go! Don’t make me burn down your dorm!”
I feel like I want to collapse to my knees. “Ember, please don’t go.”
Sobs choke her. “I have to. I can’t … I can’t deal with this on top of everything else. I thought I could trust you.”
“You can trust me, Em. I promise!”
She covers her face, and her crying intensifies. “I can’t Aiden. I just … can’t.”
“Ember, I wasn’t as strong as I am now. You’ve given me the strength to open up. Please believe me when I say I wanted to help them. I regret so much about that day, but I do not regret meeting you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“Never in a million years would I have thought this is what you were hiding.” Her words are muffled against her hands. “I … don’t know what to do.”
“I know this has to be a shock, but I know we can overcome this. We love each other, and we can make it work. We just need to talk about it—calmly.”
“I don’t think anything can fix this.”
Other memories of my past surface. “
My parents used to fight a lot, and I would stay in my room to hide my crying from them. I felt like my world was falling apart, but, after my accident, something changed. They … became friends again. Maybe the mutual job of making sure I was okay was what they needed. They went to counseling and talked things out. That’s how they survived. They needed to talk to each other and let out their emotions. That’s what we need to do now.”
She shakes her head, revealing her red blotchy face. “No. Nothing will make this right. I can’t forgive you again. I’m all out of forgiveness.”
My heart shatters, and my face feels just as broken. “What does that mean?”
“It means we … we shouldn’t be together.”
I hold her tighter against me; tears well in my eyes. “I will do whatever it takes to make this right. Just tell me what to do. Please. I … I … don’t want to lose you.”
She wipes away her tears. “Aiden, I don’t know that I can trust you anymore. If there’s no trust in a relationship, it won’t survive.”
All my worst fears are coming true. I knew this is what would happen. How can I be mad at her? Or upset? She has all the right in the world not to want to be with me anymore. She’s right. I betrayed her trust. I always knew where this relationship was headed, but I allowed it to happen anyway.
I release her, from my arms and from any commitment to me. “You’re right. I can’t ask anything more of you. I knew what I was doing the whole time, but I was selfish. I-I wanted you.” I smile a broken smile of a man who’s trying to keep it together. “You’re the only person who ever made me feel so alive and sees more than just training. The years I’ve dedicated my life to become a Guardian is because of the guilt that has always eaten away at me for failing your parents.” I look at her. To see her frown with such pain, I gasp. “I … I wanted to try to make up for the loss of their lives, but I know I never will—and I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t have been more for them. For you.”
She eyes the door, and I expect her to run, to run away from me and never return. “Damn you, Aiden.” She launches herself into my arms, and her lips tangle with mine.
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