A Seed Planted

by Cat FitzGerald

  Julia found herself staring at the box again. Setting her drink down on one of the new coasters, she strode over to the table, picked up the box, and shoved it into the back of the coat closet in her tiny foyer. There was nothing in there she needed at the moment. Out of sight, out of mind.

  Chapter 13

  November 1971

  “Julia, I can’t tell you how happy I am that you joined us. You are a valuable asset to the department and to me as well.” Dr. Benson smiled as he sat down beside her on the sofa in his office and reached for her hand. The gesture did not totally surprise her. Since starting her job three months ago, she became acutely aware of her supervisor’s keen interest in her personal life. He was a striking man, in his early forties she guessed, unmarried as far as she knew. He wore no wedding band nor were there family photos anywhere to be seen. He had dark-brown hair, just starting to gray at the temples, and his eyes were such a deep brown they almost seemed black. Those eyes were focused on her at the moment and Julia felt a slight tingle. To receive such a compliment from the head of the department at this early stage was astonishing. They were working on a project together, and Julia had to admit she was a little in awe of this icon in the world of higher education.

  “Julia, did you hear what I said?” Dr. Benson was speaking.

  “Oh! I’m so sorry, yes. I mean, no, I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you,” Julia stuttered. Oh, great. Now he’ll think I’m a complete idiot instead of a star pupil. Way to go.

  “No problem. I was asking if you’d like to have dinner this evening? To celebrate our progress, of course. As I’ve said before, there’s no way we’d be this far along were it not for you, and I’d like to show my appreciation. Unless, of course, you would find it uncomfortable.” He continued to gaze at her. Those eyes.

  “Uh, no, not at all. Uncomfortable, I mean. It would be nice. And fine. Thank you.” Julia tried to sound mature and sophisticated, but she felt it totally not working.

  “Great. Let me get my jacket, you get your things, and I’ll meet you at the elevator in a few minutes.” He let go of her hand, and in doing so, brushed her thigh ever so lightly. Julia stood on wobbly feet and made her way out the door and down the other end of the hall, where she had a very small office which surely had once been a storage closet. She slipped inside and closed the door.

  Oh, my goodness. What is the matter with me? He must think I’m a complete moron. Okay, deep breath. He’s just a guy who happens to be my boss and head of the department with a Ph.D. And an M.D. and yes, he’s also gorgeous. And he asked me to dinner!

  Julia managed to calm herself, find her jacket and purse, and lock the door. She dashed quickly into the ladies’ room to check her hair and makeup and take another deep breath before heading back down the hallway. As she turned the corner, she saw Dr. Benson standing by the elevators. He smiled as she approached and pushed the button. As the doors slid open, he placed his right hand under her elbow and guided her forward.

  “Is there any place in particular you’d like to go?” Dr. Benson inquired.

  “Oh, no, I don’t get out that much, so I’m really not familiar with many of the restaurants.” To her own ears, Julia sounded like an ignorant hick, but Dr. Benson didn’t seem to notice anything amiss. He held the doors open for her to exit into the parking garage. He grabbed her hand and began walking towards the far side of the second level.

  “My car is over this way. I’ll bring you back to get yours later if that’s okay. Unless you prefer to drive yourself.” That smile again.

  “Oh no, that’s fine, thank you.” Julia thought she sounded a bit more normal that time.

  They reached his car, a very nice late-model sedan, black with leather seats. He opened the door for her and waited until she was settled, self-consciously trying to keep her skirt pulled down. It was difficult with the newest fashion dictating hemlines well above the knees. Closing the door, he made his way around to the driver’s side and got in.

  “I think I know the perfect place,” he said as he glanced sideways in her direction while backing out of the parking space. “Have you been to Forest Acres? There’s a wonderful steak house there that’s quiet and good for conversation. How does that sound?”

  “Wonderful!” Julia replied. “I haven’t had a good steak in a very long time.” Ugh. You dope.

  “Then steak it is,” Dr. Benson smiled in her direction as he maneuvered the car into traffic. “Although, I do need to ask a favor if you wouldn’t mind.”

  “Um, of course not, Dr. Benson. What is it?”

  “Would you please call me Adam from now on? We will be working together even more closely in the coming months, and I think it would be less awkward. Are you comfortable with that?”

  Julia stilled.

  “Absolutely. I look forward to working with you,” she breathed, “Adam.”

  Chapter 14

  November 1971

  Julia lay quietly in bed Saturday morning. She hardly slept the night before and was more than a little surprised to be awake already. The dinner with Dr. Benson...Adam...was dreamy. The meal was to die for, and he was a complete gentleman, tending to her every need, asking if the food was to her liking, if she wanted more wine, anything at all. They even shared a scrumptious dessert, leaving her a little breathless at the intimacy. He treated her as an equal, a real woman, not as a subordinate or even an assistant. Adam was a man, no doubt. The few boys she dated throughout school were just that, boys. And after only one thing. She laughed to herself at the memory of a particular conversation with her grandmother. Grandma Jean gave her wise and loving counsel which, unfortunately, she ignored and suffered mightily for it.

  Oh, Grandma, I miss you so much. You did all you could to steer me in the right direction, but I was just too stubborn and damaged. I hope you really are in Heaven. If anybody deserves to be there, it’s you.

  Thankfully, Julia thought, she was much wiser now as she shook herself back to the present, stretched, and crawled out of bed. Padding to the kitchen in slippered feet, she took the coffee carafe and filled it with cold water from the tap. She always put the grounds into the pot the night before, so all she needed to do in the morning was add water. She was not really a morning person, and the less to do after getting up, the better. She flipped the switch and stepped outside to retrieve the newspaper from her front walk, shutting the door quickly against the cold. The weather forecast predicted a freeze for the weekend, so she made no plans other than to do some laundry and curl up with a good book, maybe watch a movie if there was anything good on TV.

  She drank her coffee at the table while flipping through the paper, checking the obituaries to be sure no one she knew was there. People would laugh to know someone so young actually read that section, but how else were you to know about these things? That’s what Grandma Jean said, although, granted she was old. She finished with the comics, got up to rinse her cup, and put it in the sink before returning to the bedroom to get dressed. Pulling her long hair into a ponytail, she slipped on jeans and a sweater along with fuzzy socks. She decided it was too cold for going across the courtyard to do laundry, so that would be put off for another, hopefully warmer day. Grabbing the book she was reading, The Great Gatsby, she found her place and was settling on the comfy sofa with a blanket just as the phone rang. Her apartment had a kitchen wall phone, so she unwrapped herself and walked across the room to reach it.

  “Hello?”

  “Julia, hello, this is Adam. I hope I’m not disturbing you.” The sound of Dr. Benson’s voice nearly caused her to drop the receiver.

  “Uh, no, of course not. I was just reading, nothing important. Not that reading isn’t important, of course. It is. Absolutely important.” She clamped her mouth shut.

  Dr. Benson chuckled and asked, “Well, what important book are you reading?”

  “The Great Gatsby. I read it in high school, of course, but it’s one of my favorites, so I’m reading it again because I want to, not because I have to.” J
ulia relaxed a bit.

  “Ah, excellent book. I heard there might be a movie at some point.”

  “A movie? Oh, that would be wonderful!” Julia gushed like a silly schoolgirl before sobering herself. “Of course, it would be difficult to capture the nuances of character and place in a movie. It might actually ruin everything.”

  Chuckling again, Dr. Benson replied, “Well, I guess we’ll have to wait and see. Look, Julia, I won’t keep you, but I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed our time together last night. You are a charming young woman, and I appreciate your indulgence by keeping me company. We psychiatrists can become rather isolated in our own little worlds and forget how to socialize. So, thank you. It was a lovely evening, and I would like to do it again. I hope I’m not being presumptuous.”

  “Oh, Dr. Benson, I mean, Adam, of course not. I enjoyed it, too, and I’d love to go out again if it means that much to you, of course.” Julia really wanted to slap herself.

  “Great! Well, enjoy your book, and I’ll see you on Monday, Julia. Good-bye.”

  “Good-bye, Adam,” Julia whispered into the silence.

  Chapter 15

  December 1971

  Working closely with Adam was a dream come true. She could never have imagined a job she loved so much along with a relationship that made her head spin. Well, it wasn’t technically a relationship. Nothing had gone beyond an occasional light kiss after dinner, and their behavior at work was above question. Adam made that clear, not that she needed to be told. It would not go over well with the other staff members to discover their department head was involved with his assistant. Even though they weren’t involved, really. Were they? Adam had said nothing about the future, but the way he acted led her to believe there might be one. Her heart fluttered the way it always did when she was thinking about him and how he made her feel. Especially about him coming over tonight. It would be their first time truly alone and the first time she’d seen him since the beginning of Christmas break five days ago. They talked on the phone, of course, but it wasn’t the same. Adam had been out of town visiting his elderly mother who lived in an assisted living facility a couple of hours away. Even though it wasn’t something Julia could relate to, she thought it was sweet that he took the time to see his mom. Adam was the kind of guy she’d been waiting for. Mature, responsible, sure of himself. They’d make a great team.

  Julia stepped back to look at the tree. In spite of her unhappy home, she loved Christmas at Grandma Jean’s house. Her grandmother always put up a huge live Leyland cypress in the large family room which Julia would help her decorate for hours the week after Thanksgiving. They hung beautiful garlands over the fireplace and the front door, then later attached pinecones dipped in glitter. It made quite a mess, but Grandma Jean never seemed to care, saying it was only once a year and they should make the most of this special time to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Julia smiled at the memory of the birthday cake and the candles that her grandmother always let her blow out after singing the birthday song.

  She remembered going to Christmas Eve services at Grandma Jean’s church. The church she herself attended until that summer with Ricky. She closed her eyes against the pain. What happened? How could she have been so stupid and gullible? Grandma Jean tried so hard to make it right for her, especially after the miscarriage, but Julia just shut down emotionally. The years of abuse at the hands of Malcolm and neglect by Martha, the ache of knowing her birth mother didn’t want her, even after keeping her for almost a year. She must have been a truly bad baby for her own flesh and blood to give her away. Not any better as she got older either since her adoptive parents couldn’t seem to love her. Yet, somehow her grandmother did. Maybe they had been two lost souls searching for something together. Grandma Jean lost the love of her only son through no fault of her own. And her husband died fairly young, leaving her a widow with no family, save Malcolm and his weakling wife.

  Julia sat down and turned off the radio. The Christmas music changed from jolly and festive to melancholy. Silent Night to silent tears.

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  1960

  Twelve-year-old JuJu could hardly stand it. Christmas morning! She was wide awake, and the sun wasn’t even up, but she knew better than to make a sound. Pulling the covers over her head, she snuggled deep down inside her soft bed. She hoped it had snowed overnight. It probably didn’t, but it never hurt to dream. That’s what Grandma Jean said. She thought Grandma Jean was very, very smart because she said a lot of things JuJu didn’t understand. But if her grandmother said it, it must be true.

  JuJu poked her head out from the covers again and looked out the window. It was pitch dark out here in the country, so she couldn’t see a thing beyond the black window. No moonlight glistened to reveal a shimmering blanket of white on the front yard. She didn’t know what time it was since there was no clock in her room. She debated whether or not to try to sneak out of her room to check the time in the kitchen. Remembering the squeaky floor in the hall, she decided against that potentially dangerous excursion. Her dad was grumpy if he got woken up too early.

  She looked out the window again. The first faint rays of dawn were breaking over the edge of the woods that fronted her grandmother’s property. JuJu was glad her room faced towards Grandma Jean’s house. She often imagined she could see through the trees, right up the long dirt drive, and into the kitchen to watch her grandmother standing at the stove or sink. Sometimes she pictured her out in the field or the barn feeding the cows or the farm horse, Mule. She had laughed at a horse being named Mule when she learned her late Grandpa Will had called him that because he said the horse was stubborn as a mule and should have a name that suited him. Grandma Jean suggested to her husband that perhaps he, too, might need a more suitable name. She told JuJu that Grandpa Will had not taken kindly to the suggestion and pouted the rest of the day, so she made a pot roast for supper as a peace offering.

  JuJu could tell her grandmother loved her husband very much. It made her a little sad because she didn’t think her mom and dad loved each other. If they did, they sure had a funny way of showing it. Her dad yelled a lot at her mom and her mom cried. He was okay some of the time, but then he would get a bottle out of the cabinet and after drinking the brown stuff in it, he would get a funny look in his eyes and sound funny, too. JuJu learned to stay out of his way, running over to her grandmother’s whenever she could.

  The sun was shining above the trees now, clearly revealing there was no Christmas snowfall the night before. It wasn’t surprising, given they lived in South Georgia where the average temperature for December was fifty degrees. Grandma Jean told her that, too.

  JuJu desperately needed to use the bathroom, so she got up, opened her door very slowly, and tiptoed to the bathroom across the hall. Her parents’ door was still closed. After finishing, she hesitated for a moment wondering if she dared flush the toilet. While still debating the momentous decision, she heard her mother whisper, “JuJu, don’t flush.” Ah, decision made. She washed her hands and quietly opened the door. Martha held one finger against her lips in a silent warning. JuJu nodded her understanding, and they slipped down the hall, successfully avoiding the squeaky part. JuJu crawled onto the sofa and watched her mother plug in the tree lights. It was shiny and silver, not at all like Grandma Jean’s real tree, but it was better than nothing. JuJu actually liked the way the tree reflected the lights and colored ornaments. Her mother went to the kitchen to start breakfast. They had to wait for her dad before opening presents no matter what time he got up. He drank a lot of the brown stuff last night, so he might not be up for a while, and he might be extra grumpy, too. JuJu sighed and snuggled under a blanket to await the morning’s promise.

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  So far it was a grand morning. Malcolm got up around nine o’clock, appearing unusually cheerful. After a hearty breakfast of grits, eggs, and bacon, coupled with lots of coffee for the adults, they
all trooped into the living room to open the pretty boxes under the tree. Her dad gave her mom a rhinestone brooch that she happily pinned to the collar of her robe. Her mom gave her dad some cologne, which he immediately opened and splashed liberally on himself. JuJu thought it stank but wisely did not voice her opinion.

  Then it was JuJu’s turn. Malcolm handed her a small box wrapped in Santa Claus paper. “Here, open this one first.” Inside was a necklace with a locket. The chain was just long enough to slip over JuJu’s head which was good since she might have difficulty with the clasp. Martha handed her the next package, wrapped in shiny, red paper. JuJu squealed with delight as she saw the big stuffed bear she had pined for at the dime store in town. It was the size of a baby and had huge, brown eyes with a red and green plaid scarf around its neck. She squeezed it tightly against her body as she whispered, “I will always love you, Teddy, no matter what.”

  **************************************************

  Later that morning, they walked over to Grandma Jean’s for more coffee along with her grandmother’s delicious gingerbread cake. JuJu had milk with hers, of course. Grandma Jean long ago insisted that Malcolm and Martha not waste money on gifts for her as she did not need any more stuff. She did, however, continue to give them a monetary gift each year, some of which helped cover their Christmas expenses. Grandma Jean did, of course, always buy one special present for her only grandchild, and this year was no exception. She was careful to check with Malcolm, however, as she did not wish to give him an excuse to get his dander up and act all insulted about not being able to provide properly for his family. As they relaxed in the glow of the great fireplace, Grandma Jean pointed to a package lying almost hidden under the magnificent tree. “Go ahead, sweet girl, that’s for you,” her grandmother smiled. JuJu crawled under the low-hanging branches and reached for the flat box with the big, red bow. She carefully removed the ribbon and lifted the cover.