A Seed Planted

by Cat FitzGerald

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  “Thank you, sir, I truly appreciate your help.” Marley pumped the loan officer’s hand so hard it was likely he might spout water any moment. Douglas Thompson tried not to grimace as he deftly extricated his appendage from Marley’s bearlike grip.

  “You are very welcome, Marley. I believe you to be a fine and responsible young man. I’ve watched you at church these past couple of years, seen how you’ve stepped up when needed, and I’m very much aware of how you looked after Miss Jean. You’ve done a good job with the farm, and I’m glad to be of assistance.” Doug put both hands behind his back as Marley made a move towards another handshake, stepping towards his office door to show Marley out. “Just let me know when you have everything together, and we’ll sit down again to finalize the terms. Have a good day.”

  Marley could hardly contain his excitement. He believed he qualified for the loan on paper, but one could never be sure about these things. He was young, and he’d not held any other jobs since graduating college, so that could have gone against him. But it hadn’t. He was sure Miss Jean had something to do with that. She knew everybody and was well respected in their small town. He would not be surprised to learn she had spoken with Mr. Thompson before she passed, possibly considering her granddaughter would not want the farm. She had been right about that. It was more than obvious Julia couldn’t get rid of the place, and him, fast enough. Well, he would be glad enough to take it off her hands.

  It was a cold winter day, but the sun was bright as Marley made his way down the street. It was close to lunchtime, so he decided to stay in town and grab a bite to eat before heading back. Melly’s diner was hustling this time of day, but he didn’t mind waiting. The desserts and home cooking were worth any inconvenience. Stepping inside, he was surprised to see an empty booth back by the kitchen. It would be noisy, but he didn’t care. Life on the farm was plenty quiet, and he was feeling rather sociable today. Nancy, the cute and rather forward, young waitress must have picked up on that as she made a beeline for Marley before he could get out of his jacket.

  “Well, isn’t this a nice surprise?” she practically purred as she set down the menu and a glass of water, leaning over the table a bit further than necessary. “What brings you to town, Mr. Westbrook?”

  Her come hither smile and posture were so obvious, Marley almost laughed out loud. Not wanting to hurt her feelings, he simply smiled back and said, “Just some farm business, decided to eat while I was here.”

  “Well, aren’t we the lucky ones? What would you like?” Nancy asked with a wink. It was kind of sad really. Nancy was a cute girl with a nice way about her when she wasn’t trying to be seductive. Everyone knew she was desperate to get married and out of the diner, which was owned by her aunt and uncle, Melly and Bert. Unfortunately, she was so obvious she scared most guys away, except for the wrong sort, of course. Bert would have to step in when some rowdy got too friendly, and Nancy would howl about how they were ruining her chances for a better life. She had set her sights on Marley as soon as he moved here, but that didn’t stop her from having a backup plan.

  “I’ll have the lunch special, please, Nancy, and tea,” Marley replied with a kind smile.

  “That comes with your choice of apple pie or chocolate cake,” Nancy stated as though the quality of one’s life might depend on that decision.

  “Apple pie,” Marley did not hesitate.

  “Coffee with that later?” Nancy was in no hurry to leave Marley’s side.

  “Yes, ma’am.” Marley had to admit he somewhat enjoyed the banter, but he did not want to encourage Nancy in thinking it was anything more. He handed her the menu and reached for the newspaper someone left on the table, signaling the end of conversation. Nancy took the hint and sashayed her way across the dining area. Her Barbie-doll looks and the sway of her hips beneath the snug, white uniform did not go unnoticed by the male customers.

  Chapter 19

  February 1972

  Under normal circumstances, Valentine’s Day would be an exciting event for the first time in her adult life. But Julia’s circumstances were anything but normal. She’d missed her period again, and a tiny sliver of panic was working its way sharply into her thoughts. This can’t be.

  She visited the local health clinic to get birth control pills right after New Year. Even though Adam used protection, she didn’t want to take any chances of repeating her high school nightmare. This gave them more freedom and enjoyment with no worries, or so she thought. She did the math in her head again. Could she have already been pregnant when she went to the clinic? The doctor gave her a cursory physical exam and asked a lot of questions but little else as she recalled. She had lied on the form about prior pregnancies. This can’t be. It will ruin everything.

  Reining in her anxious thoughts, Julia focused on her work. Adam was out of town at a conference, so she would be teaching his class later this morning. She was fully prepared, of course, but her mind refused to obey as she reviewed the lecture she was to give. If that’s the case, I could be at least two months along! But I haven’t been sick. It must be something else. It has to be. I’ve heard that birth control can mess things up at first. That’s got to be it. Everything’s fine.

  Having convinced herself thus, Julia gathered her papers and headed towards the lecture hall. This was the first time she’d been offered this opportunity, and she was disappointed Adam wouldn’t be here. Of course, if he was here, she wouldn’t be giving the lecture. It didn’t matter. She knew she’d do a good job. She was prepared, and she wasn’t nervous about presenting in front of an audience.

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  The class went well as expected, and Julia was back in her tiny office, making notes about some of the questions she received afterward when the phone rang. It was Adam. Her heart fluttered.

  “So, how did it go? Do I need to be worried about my job?” Julia soared at the laugh in Adam’s question.

  “No, Dr. Benson, you absolutely do not need to be worried about your job. Although, I must say it went very well. I do imagine the female students prefer looking at you, though.” Julia added her own laugh.

  “I knew you’d do a great job, Julia. That’s why I trusted you with the task. Changing the subject, did you see anything come in regarding the grant?”

  “No, I glanced briefly at the new mail on your desk, but there was nothing that seemed urgent.”

  “I wonder what’s taking so long this time. Since it’s a renewal, I expected to receive a quick approval. Oh, well, can’t hurry bureaucracy.”

  “You mean the bureaucracy of which we are both a large part?” Julia laughed.

  Adam laughed as well. “Indeed. Look, I need to run. Let’s talk about Valentine’s Day plans when I get back, okay?”

  “Of course, Dr. Benson. I look forward to that,” Julia responded, excitement in her voice as the call ended. The tiny sliver of panic wiggled just a bit in the back of her mind as unpleasant memories forced their way in.

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  1965, Christmas Break

  “JuJu, sweetheart, I wish you would talk to me. I’ve watched you this past year just shut your heart away from everything and everybody, including me.” The sadness in her grandmother’s voice almost got to JuJu. Almost.

  “Sorry, Grandma Jean, I’m just busy with school. Taking all those extra courses to graduate early doesn’t leave me with a lot of free time.” JuJu continued to hang ornaments on the large Leyland cypress her grandmother still insisted on every year.

  “That’s not what I mean, girl, and you know it,” Grandma Jean’s reply was sharper than usual.

  JuJu sighed and looked at her grandmother. “I’m sorry, but I don’t know what you want me to do, Grandma Jean! I’m just trying to keep my head above water and stay out of Malcolm’s way. I’ve got to get out of here soon, or I’ll go crazy!” JuJu burst into unexpected tears. />
  “Oh, baby girl, come here, come here to me.” Jean wrapped her thin arms around JuJu as they sat together on the old, well-worn sofa in the family room. JuJu’s shoulders shook as she sobbed.

  Jean’s heart was broken for her precious granddaughter, but at the same time, she was glad to see her feel something, even pain.

  JuJu wiped her eyes and blew her nose on the handkerchief Jean handed her. She looked so young and forlorn. Anger rose up in Jean’s chest as she thought of all this child endured at the hands of her abusive father and useless mother.

  “Honey, you know you can move in here anytime. I’ve told you that ever since...well, you know.” Jean could never bring herself to speak aloud of JuJu’s pregnancy and miscarriage.

  “I know, Grandma Jean,” JuJu said, sniffing, “but you know that would just make Malcolm worse.”

  JuJu started referring to her father as Malcolm not long after the “nightmare,” as she called it, more than a year ago. She didn’t call him anything to his face, only responding when directly addressed. The hatred in her eyes was not totally lost on Malcolm, and he ignored her except when he was raging drunk. Although JuJu had little regard for her mother, she didn’t care to be the cause of her taking the brunt of Malcolm’s abuse. JuJu could handle it far better than Martha ever could.

  “I just hate to see you missing out on so much is all,” Jean said. “Prom and all the things that go along with being a teenager. You work too hard, and you’re not having any fun that I can see.”

  “There will be time for fun later, Grandma Jean.” JuJu stood up and pulled a string of gold beads out of the box to hang on the tree. Jean gazed up at her grandchild and sighed.

  Chapter 20

  February 1972

  “You’re what?” Adam’s voice was angry. What started out as a wonderful and romantic celebration was quickly dissolving into a disaster. “I thought you were on the pill. And I used protection before!”

  “Adam, please calm down.” Julia tried desperately not to whimper. She expected Adam to be upset, but this level of anger surprised and scared her. “I am on the pill, but it must have happened that first or maybe second time. Something obviously didn’t work.”

  “Obviously.” Sarcasm dripped from Adam’s lips.

  Resentment flared in Julia, and she responded in kind. “Look, it takes two for this to happen, you know. This is not just my fault.” She pushed away from the table and began to gather the dirty dishes even though they were not finished eating. She’d certainly lost her appetite. Avoiding Adam’s eyes, she carried everything into the kitchen and began rinsing and loading the dishwasher. As she stood at the sink, she felt Adam’s presence close behind her.

  “Look, babe, I’m sorry. I just...I wasn’t prepared for this.” Julia flinched as Adam put his hand on her shoulder. He tightened his grip and turned her around to face him. The anger was gone from his face, but she wasn’t sure she liked what had replaced it. “Tell me what you’re thinking,” he said.

  Julia regarded him for a moment before speaking, “I’m thinking that I’m scared to death, Adam, and instead of feeling comforted, I feel attacked.” She fought against the tears welling up but was determined to hold his gaze.

  Adam didn’t blink. “I know, and I am really sorry. I can imagine how you feel because I’m pretty scared, too.” He smiled slightly and pulled her into his arms. The emotion took over as she sobbed against his chest. When she had regained control, she stepped back and asked him, “What do you want me to do?”

  He looked away for a moment before answering, “We’ll figure it out together, okay? We’re in this together, so we’ll figure it out together.”

  “Look, Adam, I don’t exactly want a baby, either, but I’m concerned about...” Julia hesitated.

  And Adam finished her statement. “About an abortion?”

  “Yes! They’re not legal, and I certainly don’t know how to go about arranging one, or even how it works or anything.”

  They moved to the living room sofa, and Adam’s head hung down along with his hands between his knees.

  “Okay, listen for a minute before you say anything,” he spoke quietly before looking up. “I know a doctor who could take care of this. He’s a colleague from my school days and has an ob-gyn practice here. It would be safe, and I will take care of everything, arranging it, paying for it. All you have to do is show up.” Adam held her gaze and his breath.

  Julia stood up and walked to the sliding glass doors. The bare trees and gray sky reflected her thoughts. I can’t believe this is happening again. Dare I wait and hope for another miscarriage? I’ll be showing in a few weeks, so I don’t have long to decide. For a brief moment, her grandmother’s face came to mind. Pushing it away, she turned around to face Adam and spoke, “Will you go with me?”

  Chapter 21

  March 1972

  Julia was silent in the passenger seat as Adam drove her to the clinic. It was the weekend, of course. This was not the kind of thing that would be done during normal hours with other people around, and the clinic was located on a side street, away from the main flow of traffic. Adam pulled into the front parking lot but continued around to the rear of the building. There were two cars parked close by. He pulled in next to them and stopped. Turning to Julia, he asked again, “Are you sure about this?”

  “Yes, Adam, I’m sure. Unless you want to get married and raise this child together, I’m sure.”

  There was no mistaking the relief on Adam’s face. He patted her arm, got out, and came around to let her out as the rear door of the clinic opened. A rather severe-looking, middle-aged woman wearing scrubs stood there beckoning them in. “I’m the nurse who’ll be assisting Dr. Lewis today. Follow me.” She turned abruptly without making eye contact with either of them and practically marched down the long, dark hallway. Towards the end, she opened a door on the right that led into a small waiting area with a desk, two lamps, and two plastic chairs.

  There was a closed door to the left of the desk, and a bathroom door off to the right. The nurse sat down behind the desk, gathered some paperwork, and handed it to Julia. “Fill these out, please, and the doctor will be with you shortly.” With that, she stood up and disappeared through the left door. Julia had a quick glimpse of what looked like an operating room before it closed.

  Adam took the papers from her, pulled a pen from his shirt pocket, and began completing them, asking her various questions as he wrote. “Here, you need to sign at the bottom,” he indicated the line marked by a red X. Julia looked at him for a long moment before taking the pen. She quickly scanned the pages, noting the usual medical history questions in addition to the liability release. Julia signed her name and laid the papers on the desk. Before she could return to her tacky, green chair, the door swung open and out walked a man close to Adam in age but vastly different in appearance. Where Adam was tall and slim, this man was short and stocky. Adam had a full head of wavy dark hair while this fellow was already struggling to conceal a bald spot at his crown. He wore wire-rimmed glasses over light-blue eyes that seemed to look right through her. Julia shivered.

  “Hello, I’m Dr. Lewis, and I will be taking care of you today,” he spoke as he reached out to shake her hand. Thankfully, he had a kind smile. He then shook Adam’s hand, merely nodding as Adam handed him an envelope.

  “Let’s get you in and settled so we can get started, shall we?” Dr. Lewis said as he gathered up the papers and quickly perused them. “Okay, this all looks good. Let’s see, a tonsillectomy at ten, an appendectomy at eleven, no other surgeries or hospital visits since then?” He didn’t wait for an answer, moving on while he flipped to the next page. “And no previous pregnancies. All right, good then, we’re ready, so if you’ll come with me. Adam, you can wait here, or go get something to eat if you like, you know, about an hour or so.” Adam nodded, and for the first time, Julia wondered if he’d done this before.

  The door closed, and Julia was shown to a small dressing room in the far corn
er. The nurse pulled back the curtain and handed her a hospital gown, with instructions to put it on with the opening in back. Julia closed the curtain, got undressed, and hesitated.

  What am I doing? Is this the right thing to do? Stop it, of course, it is! What else is there? Adam obviously does not want to marry me. At least not now, and what am I going to do with a baby anyway? Oh, Grandma Jean, I wish you were here to guide me.

  Julia could almost hear her grandmother’s voice. “Sweet girl, we’ll figure this out. Don’t you worry. The Lord will show us the way.” The Lord. Ha. Yeah, He’s been a lot of help. Grandma, I’m sorry, but you just wouldn’t understand. Taking a deep breath, Julia snatched open the curtain and walked stoically towards the hospital bed in the middle of the room.

  In the waiting area, Adam tried to get comfortable. This room definitely needed new chairs. His pal, Ben, had saved his butt before in a similar situation, so he knew the drill. Julia would be sedated but not completely asleep. She would be groggy for a few hours and very sore. Adam planned to take her home, get her settled in bed then go back to his house. He would make an excuse to leave again later and check on Julia. Pulling out a book he’d brought from home, he began to read.

  About twenty minutes later, Adam was startled to hear loud voices coming from the operating room. He was even more startled when the door flew open and the nurse ran out.

  Adam jumped up. “What’s wrong?”

  Ignoring him, she darted to the desk and grabbed the phone, fumbling with the dial and nearly dropping the receiver. “Operator, we need an ambulance immediately at 2735 Woodward St. Yes, that’s the clinic of Dr. Ben Lewis. We have a patient hemorrhaging, blood pressure dropping rapidly. Hurry!” She slammed the phone down.