Suffer Little Children

by Freda Hansburg

  “But can you just tell me...?”

  “I’ve said enough, and we both know it. See you at committee.” LaToya hung up.

  Robin slowly set her phone back in its cradle. LaToya’s warning only increased her sense of dread about what Gloria might be capable of.

  Robin glanced at the clock and sat up. The last FedEx delivery of the day would have arrived a half hour ago. She hurried to the supply room and found the delivery bin empty.

  “Is this what you’re looking for?”

  Robin whirled to see Steve Richman in the doorway, holding up a paper. She spotted the MATCH lab letterhead, and her heart rose to her throat.

  Richman regarded her with icy eyes. “What’s going on, Robin?”

  She could find no words to answer him.

  He didn’t wait for a reply and read from the page. “Patient’s name, Ben Martin.” He lowered the paper and fixed his gaze on her. “We both know there’s no patient here by that name.”

  She gulped, her throat like sand.

  Richman’s grin held no warmth, only triumph. “In fact, it’s the name of that man you’re involved with, isn’t it? You introduced us at the cocktail party celebrating the MATCH grant,” Richman reminded her. “When I saw this report, the name rang a bell. When I checked your personnel file, guess who you listed as your emergency contact?”

  Ben. She would have used Sean, but he’d gone away to school. And in the event of a crisis, she would rather Sean heard about it from Ben than a stranger. Now her choice had produced an emergency of its own. No wonder Gloria’s blackmail threat had included Ben. She knew Robin used his name on Alex’s specimen. If that became public knowledge, his law firm might even ask him to resign. She struggled in vain to come up with a plausible explanation to offer Richman.

  “You know what else smells like rotten fish, Robin?”

  She cringed at Steve’s ugly choice of words.

  “The lab sequenced the sample, but they didn’t find any drug matches for the tumor. Do you know why?”

  No matches? She’d hoped for that very response, at least until Gloria’s call. Yet the way Steve drew out the inquisition gave Robin a very bad feeling.

  “They found no match because there’s no trace of cancer in the specimen you submitted.”

  “No cancer?” Robin croaked. “But that’s impossible.”

  “No cancer,” he repeated. “What the hell are you up to, Robin? If this is your idea for getting your boyfriend a free diagnosis, you’re not only unprofessional, you’re an idiot.”

  Robin flushed with resentment.

  “Tell me the truth,” he thundered. “What’s this all about?”

  He had her cornered. If she admitted she’d defied his orders and submitted a pediatric sample, he would nail her for insubordination as well as fraud. And if he knew Gloria’s role in her actions, he would hit the roof. Not to mention what Robin would face at Gloria’s hands if she surrendered and abandoned the woman’s single-minded mission. She saw no choice but to take the idiotic out he’d given her.

  “Steve, I’m sorry. I—it was terribly wrong of me to send in Ben’s sample, but he’d been so worried.”

  “About a negative biopsy result? Robin, that makes no sense. You know better. At least, I thought you did.”

  “I know. You’re right.” She hated pretending to be a moron but saw no other choice. “Ben didn’t trust the biopsy. It terrified him, affected his work.” Making it up as I go. “I—I hoped to give him some peace of mind.”

  “At the expense of the hospital, the lab, and the NCI.” Richman sneered. “Well, I hope your boyfriend enjoys his ‘peace of mind.’ But I assure you, Robin, your actions don’t help my state of mind one bit. Nor your job status, for that matter.”

  “No, Doctor,” Robin murmured. She saw her dream job slipping away.

  “This is an official verbal warning, nurse, so hear me loud and clear.” Richman handed her the MATCH lab report, grimacing as if he’d passed her a piece of used toilet paper. “I’ll be keeping a close eye on you. Another infraction, and you’re out of here. Understood?”

  Robin nodded.

  “I didn’t hear you, Robin.” He got right up in her face. “Understood?”

  “I understand, Doctor Richman.” Robin clutched the lab report to her chest.

  His eyes bored into hers for a long moment, then he stalked out.

  The paper fluttered in Robin’s trembling hands. She’d risked her job—with nothing to show for it. No matches, okay. But no cancer? She had to find out what that meant.

  THIRTY-FIVE

  AMBER

  BACK HOME IN MY ROOM, it’s just me and Nina. I reach into my jeans pocket and pull out the pill I took from Alex’s night table. I have time for a closer look, but I still have no clue what kind of aspirin it is. I’m tempted to swallow it and see what happens, but maybe I shouldn’t. Alex didn’t seem to like the taste.

  Nina’s got the same idea. She licks my palm, trying to lap up the pill.

  “Bad!” I close my hand into a fist so she can’t eat it. Maybe I should throw away the pill or try to sneak it back into the bottle next time I’m at Gloria’s. But I would like to know what kind of medicine it is, especially since Alex hates taking it. I bet Robin would know.

  Mom comes bursting into my room without knocking. I hate when she does that. I shove the prescription aspirin back into my jeans pocket.

  “Did you walk the dog?”

  I tell her yes.

  “Did she go?”

  Yes again.

  “Both number one and number two?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Then go take a shower,” she tells me. “The four of us are going out for Thai.”

  I stare at her, trying to work out what going out for tie means and who the four of us are.

  She frowns, like someone made her swallow a piece of liver. “Go on, get in the shower. Calista will be here in half an hour.”

  Swell. Creepy Cali.

  “Remember to wash your hair.”

  When she leaves, I get undressed and drop my clothes in the corner, on top of the dirty laundry pile. I head for the shower. I soap up and use a big handful of shampoo. Mom says not to use so much, but I like lots of suds. Otherwise, I can’t be sure I’m getting my hair clean. I wonder what kind of shampoo the groomer used on Nina to get her fur so soft and white. It’s already getting dingy again. Maybe Gloria will take her back to the groomer soon, only this time be extra careful that Robin doesn’t steal her.

  I think about Alex while I make sure to rinse all the shampoo from my hair. I try to picture how it must be to throw up all the time. I stick a finger down my throat and gag.

  “Amber!” The way Mom calls my name tells me I’m in trouble.

  “I’m in the shower!” I yell back.

  “Well, get out and come in here!”

  I roll my eyes. Get in the shower. Get out of the shower. Make up your mind, why don’t you? I rinse off the last of the soap, open the shower door, and grab my towel from the rack.

  “Now!” she hollers.

  I wrap myself up in the bath sheet with my hair all drippy and go to my bedroom.

  Mom has her laundry basket, and she’s collecting my dirty clothes. When she sees me, she sticks out her hand. “What is this?”

  Uh-oh. It’s the special aspirin pill. “I dunno,” I tell her the truth.

  “Answer me, missy.” I hate when she calls me that. “Are you taking drugs?”

  “No!” Of course not. I’m too young—except maybe for that medicine to help me concentrate. I could use some right now.

  “Where did you get this?”

  I shrug. “I found it.” That’s not a lie either.

  She puts her hands on her hips, which means she’s really mad. “I asked where. Where did you find it?”

  I’m stuck. I have to tell her something but can’t think of what. If I say I took it from the bottle on Alex’s night table, Mom will tell Gloria and maybe make me apologize
to her for stealing the pill. Gloria is practically my best friend. She’s my only friend, except for Jaden and Alex. No way will I take the chance of losing her. I take a deep breath, then the answer comes to me.

  “I found it at Dad’s.”

  THIRTY-SIX

  ROBIN

  WITH DR. RICHMAN GONE, Robin stood, holding the MATCH lab report, unable to grasp why the sample would be negative for cancer. Mentally, she retraced her steps. She’d taken Alex’s biopsy slide from Gloria. Together they’d come to that room, where Robin had completed the required paperwork for the lab, placed the submission in a FedEx envelope, and left it in the bin for pickup. She couldn’t have sent the wrong sample.

  Unless Gloria gave her the wrong one. But that made no sense. It seemed highly unlikely the pathology lab had given Gloria the wrong slide. Robin doubted they made a serious mistake like that more than one time out of a thousand. Suppose the specimen hadn’t come from Alex Reyes. Robin’s gaze fell on the DNA sequencing code provided in the MATCH lab report. She studied it. Something about it gave her a sense of déjà vu.

  Ask Ben, Gloria had said.

  The answer struck her like a thunderbolt. She froze, eyes fixed on the string of the genetic code. All those letters. It was impossible to recognize an actual pattern. She must be mistaken, and yet she knew. Perhaps she’d known all along.

  She glanced at the clock. At ten minutes past four, it was too early to leave, especially on the heels of a tongue-lashing from Dr. Richman. But now was an opportune time to check out her hunch, one so bizarre it had to be wrong. Once she confirmed that, she could banish the disturbing idea taking root in her brain.

  So, go.

  Robin hurried to her office, collected her purse, and rushed from the building, fortunately without running into any curious colleagues. In minutes, she sped away from the hospital. I’m wrong, she told herself as she drove. I must be.

  Twenty minutes later, she pulled up in front of Ben’s townhome. She killed the engine, drew a breath, and picked up the lab report she’d taken, belatedly realizing she should not have removed it from the hospital. Yet another infraction on her part, but she had no time to think about that. Robin deliberately slowed her breathing as she got out of her car, trying not to hyperventilate. She headed up the walk to Ben’s front door.

  She had a key. Knowing he wouldn’t likely be home for a couple of hours, she unlocked the door. She stepped into the entryway and paused to check—no sounds, no lights. A few stealthy steps took Robin to the door leading to the garage. She opened it and saw no sign of Ben’s car. Still, he might pull in at any moment.

  “Ben? Are you home?” She spoke the words softly.

  Silence.

  She made her way to Ben’s home office, hoping to find his laptop there. He might have taken it to work. It sat on his desk, as if waiting for her. She could still turn back, slip out the front door, and drive away. She could go to the kitchen, pour a glass of wine, peel off her clothes, and wait in his bed.

  Surprise, dear.

  It would be a good surprise, a fun surprise. Anything but the ugly surprise she feared she would discover in his laptop. She switched it on. Entered his password—they had no secrets from each other, or so she’d believed—AmberJade04.

  Robin opened his bookmarks and scrolled down the list. She clicked on the link to his ancestry site, and there it was. She’d been right. Her stomach shifted. She didn’t like to think about what the discovery meant.

  As she pondered the question, Ben’s garage door rolled open. She held her breath at the sound of his SUV pulling into the garage. Trembling hands made her clumsy as she barely managed to close the ancestry site before the garage fell silent. Ben’s car door slammed as she closed his Google home page. The interior door opened. Her heart pounding, Robin selected Settings then Shut Down with unsteady fingers.

  Made it. She exhaled then realized he must have seen her car parked outside.

  Ben’s footsteps approached his office. He would find her at his laptop as it played its closing tones the moment he entered the room.

  Robin thrust her hands behind her back like a guilty schoolgirl and faced Ben. “Hi.”

  Ben glowered with anger.

  Robin swallowed, deciding her best defense meant taking the offensive. “Ben, there’s something important I have to ask you—”

  “First I have a question for you.”

  Like what I’m doing in his office. Robin’s bravado drained away.

  Ben pulled his phone from his jacket pocket, stabbed at the keys, and held it out to her. “Look at this.”

  Mystified, she took the phone from his outstretched hand. She stared at the display in confusion. “I don’t understand. What—”

  “No, Bird, I mean, really look at it. Can you tell me what kind of pill that is?”

  Robin studied the photo of a white pill resting in an open palm. She hadn’t a clue what it meant. At least it diverted Ben’s attention from her messing around on his computer.

  She squinted at the photo. “We can check it online with the pill identifier program, only—”

  “What?” He sounded impatient.

  “We need the side of the pill with letters or numbers on it.” She handed the phone back to him. “Ben, what’s going on?”

  “Vanessa found that pill in Amber’s pocket.” He grimaced. “Amber claimed she found it here.”

  “Oh no.” Robin knew Ben would never leave medications lying around, especially with his kids over. She doubted he even kept aspirin in the house. A familiar sense of resentment welled in her. “I’d say you’re being framed.”

  “It’s worse than that.” Ben ran his fingers nervously through his dark hair. “Vanessa’s probably on her way over right now.” He eyed Robin uneasily. “Maybe you’d better clear out.”

  Robin hesitated, torn between flight or fight. Hell yes, I want to avoid another showdown with Vanessa. But she had unfinished business with Ben. Before she could decide, she heard the angry screech of tires pulling up outside the house.

  THIRTY-SEVEN

  AMBER

  I SCREWED UP BIG TIME. I shouldn’t have told Mom I found that pill at Dad’s, but I couldn’t come up with another answer. Now the four of us are piled into her car, turning onto Dad’s street—me, Jaden, Mom, and creepy Calista, who’s making the situation about a trillion times worse.

  “We’ll find that drug stash of his,” she tells my mom. “Believe you me. Hopefully a prescription bottle will tell us what they are.”

  I sit in the back seat and keep my big mouth shut.

  “What if he hid them?” Mom asks.

  “We’ll find them,” Cali says, “even if we have to turn the place inside out.”

  She sounds like she can’t wait to turn Dad’s place inside out. I swallow hard to keep my stomach from coming up all over the back seat of Mom’s Hyundai. It doesn’t help that Jaden keeps poking my ribs. I yell at him to cut it out, even though I know he’s trying to make me laugh, on account of how upset I am. Mom snaps at us to pipe down. Jaden giggles, the dork.

  I am so totally busted. Mom’s already furious with me. When Dad finds out I said he had that pill, he’s going to be mad at me too. If I tell where I really got it, Gloria will be mad at me. Maybe even Alex, too, for stealing from his mom. I’ve never had so many people hate me at the same time. The only ones who still like me are Jaden and Nina, and she’s only a dog, so that probably shouldn’t even count.

  We pull up to Dad’s house, and I see one more person who’ll be mad at me because Robin’s car is parked outside. Mom jerks the car to a stop and nearly hits Robin’s Jetta, which is disgustingly clean, like always.

  “That bitch!” Mom says. “It figures she’s behind this. Leave it to a nurse to be a pill pusher.”

  I’m in so much trouble. It might be a good time to start praying.

  “I’m coming in with you, Nessie,” Calista says.

  “No, stay here with Jaden,” Mom tells her. Thank God for that.<
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  “I wanna see Dad!” Jaden whines. I kick him, and he goes, “Oooww,” but I don’t care.

  “Let’s go, Amber.” Mom gets out of the car. She comes around and opens my door.

  “Can’t I wait here with Jaden?” I plead.

  Mom’s face is like a rock. “Out of the car, Amber. Now!”

  She grabs my hand hard. I yell, but she ignores me and drags me to Dad’s front door. She rings the bell over and over then bangs on the door. “We’ll get to the bottom of this.”

  I don’t know who I feel worse for, Dad or me. I look back at the car. I would run and lock myself inside if only she would let go of my hand. “You’re crushing my fingers,” I complain.

  The door opens, and Dad stands there, frowning. He sees Mom and steps aside. “Come in, Vanessa.”

  Since I’m attached to her, I come in too.

  Dad follows us. “Let’s sit down in the living room and discuss this like adults.”

  Fat chance.

  Robin’s there, the last person on earth I want to see, especially right now. She’s wearing a serious look. Guess Dad gave her the new lipstick because she’s wearing her usual color.

  “Hello, Amber.” She doesn’t sound glad to see me. She turns to my mom. “Vanessa, the pill in the picture you sent Ben—did you bring it?”

  “You bet I did.” Mom reaches into her purse and takes out the medicine in a plastic zip bag. She holds it up to show everybody, then she gives Dad a dirty look and points her finger at his face, which means she lets go of my hand at least. My fingers cramp, and I rub them.

  “Show me where you keep the rest of your stash,” she orders him.

  “Vanessa...” Dad rolls his eyes, like that’s going to do him any good when Mom’s in one of her moods.

  “May I see that?” Robin holds out her hand.

  My mom throws the baggie at her. “Take it, bitch. I’m sure you’ve got lots more where this came from.”

  Robin ducks.

  Great. We’re here two minutes, and already Mom’s using the B-word.

  “Let’s go.” She pushes past Dad and heads for the bedroom.