Suffer Little Children

by Freda Hansburg

  “Oh dear.” The receptionist’s eyes widened. “I’d better interrupt him.” She rose and started toward his office.

  Robin followed. The receptionist stopped, and Robin nearly barged into her.

  “Please wait out there,” she said crisply.

  Fuming, Robin headed back to the reception area. She paced, ignoring the man glancing surreptitiously at her. In moments, the receptionist reappeared with Ben, who looked rattled, following her.

  “Bird? What happened?”

  Robin eyed the receptionist hovering at his elbow. “Let’s talk in your office.”

  “Is Jaden all right?”

  “I’m here about your other son.”

  The receptionist scurried away.

  Ben’s lips compressed in a line. “Come with me.” Taking Robin’s arm, he led her to his office and closed the door. “Would you mind telling me what’s going on? A client is waiting for me.”

  Robin’s face burned. “A little boy is waiting for you too.” She wanted to grab the paperweight on Ben’s desk and hurl it at his head. “Don’t leave him waiting too long because his mother’s killing him.”

  Ben paled. “What are you talking about?”

  “Don’t you know?”

  “Bird, I don’t have time for guessing games.”

  “Are you familiar with Munchausen by proxy?” Robin watched Ben’s reaction.

  “Yeah, I’ve heard of it.” He cocked his head. “And...?”

  Robin waited a beat. “Gloria has Munchausen’s. Alex is her proxy.”

  Ben drew a sharp breath. “Oh no.”

  Robin drew closer, getting in his face. “I want to know what your part in it is.”

  He took a step back, scowling. “What are you accusing me of?” Ben’s surprise and outrage seemed genuine, but he’d fooled her before.

  “I’ve done some digging. Gloria’s been using Alex for a long time. He never had cancer. The pediatric clinic ran every test in the book, but she wouldn’t let it go. She needs him to be sick, Ben. She’s making him sick.”

  Ben ran a hand over his slack jaw. “Are you sure?”

  “I’m sure enough to report her to Child Protective Services.” She held his gaze. “And you, as well, if you’ve been enabling her.”

  “You really believe I’m capable of that?” His face reddened. “I told you, I didn’t even know about Alex until a couple of weeks ago. Gloria showed up out of the blue and told me he was my kid and that he had cancer. I believed her. Why wouldn’t she be giving him pain pills?” He raised an eyebrow. “You thought he had cancer too.”

  Robin wanted to spit. “Don’t you dare put this on me. You brought that monstrous woman into my life.”

  Ben raised his hand in a quieting gesture at the volume of her voice, only stoking her fury.

  “Do you have any idea what you cost me?”

  He eyed her warily. “What do you mean?”

  “I lost my job.” Robin’s voice broke. “Security just hauled me out of the hospital.”

  Ben reached for her. “Oh, Bird, I’m so sorry. What can I do?”

  Robin took a breath. Her lip trembled. “Convince me you’re not a child abuser.”

  Ben cupped her chin, raising it so her eyes met his. “You know I’m not.”

  Robin twisted out of his grasp. “Don’t, Ben.”

  He sighed. “I’ll call Gloria and arrange to go over there as soon as I wrap up with my client.”

  “You will?” Robin’s hope stirred. Maybe he didn’t have his head all the way in the sand.

  “Let me talk to her, Bird. The boy needs help, and so does she. Maybe I can convince her to get therapy...” He swallowed. “And to let Alex stay with me for a while.”

  Robin gaped. “You’d do that?”

  Ben nodded. “If she doesn’t agree, we’ll call child protection, and I’ll sue for custody. But maybe the threat alone will be enough to make her cooperate.”

  “Maybe.” Robin doubted it.

  “Go home. Rest. I’ll come over later, and we’ll decide what to do next about Alex.” He hesitated. “And us.” He met her eyes. “Okay?”

  Robin dropped her gaze. “It’s over between us, Ben.”

  He sighed. “You have plenty of good reasons to walk away from me, but at least let me support you until you find a new job and get back on your feet.”

  She raised her eyes back to his. “I’ve been offered another job, in Baltimore. I have a friend at Johns Hopkins who wants to hire me.”

  His face fell. “I see. I guess I should be happy for you, Bird. It’s just...”

  “Please go take care of Alex. It’s too late for us. Don’t let it be too late for him.”

  “I’ll come over straight from Gloria’s. I’ll try to bring Alex with me. Will you check him out and decide what medical care he needs?”

  “All right.” Finally, he’d stepped up and acted responsibly. “I’ll wait for you at my house. But Ben? Hurry.”

  FORTY-EIGHT

  AMBER

  I ALMOST DIDN’T GET to see Alex today. It rained, and I thought they would call off Jaden’s T-ball practice. I worried Gloria might wait for me at the library without me being able to get in touch with her. Mom kept hold of her cell phone all afternoon.

  But like a miracle, the sun came out just in time. Maybe because I prayed for it. Mom drops me at the library, and Gloria picks me up a few minutes later, like usual. When we get to her house, I hurry in to see Alex, and I’m shocked.

  He looks awful. His nose is running. His eyes are red and teary. He’s shaking like he’s freezing cold, even though his room is warm.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask. “Do you have a cold?”

  He shakes his head, coughing too hard to answer me. “I don’t know, but I feel sick.” He coughs again. “Like I have to throw up, and everything hurts.”

  “Did you take more of those pills today?”

  “Not since yesterday morning.”

  “Then it must be the flu.” I’m worried. He’s not supposed to be sick, Robin said. “Should I go tell your mom you need to throw up?” I want to help, but I don’t think I can handle vomit.

  His teeth chatter. I bet he has a fever. “Don’t call her.” He reaches for my hand. “Amber, I’m scared.”

  That makes two of us. “It’ll be okay.” At least I hope so. I squeeze his hand. “Did your mom call the doctor?”

  He shakes his head again. “No. She talked with someone on the phone a little while ago, then she said she’s taking me to another town. A hospital there will give me the right medicine.”

  “But you don’t have cancer. Robin saw your test results.” One thing I know is I don’t want Gloria to take Alex away.

  He tries to answer but starts coughing some more. I let go of his hand and get him a tissue so he can wipe his nose. “Where is she taking you?”

  “Johns Hopkins.”

  I frown. I’ve never heard of him.

  “Amber, what if I really do have cancer? Robin could be wrong.”

  I guess she could be. Maybe she lied about the tests. Even so, if Gloria keeps giving Alex those pills, they could kill him. I can’t let her take him away. It’ll be too hard for him to hide them without my help.

  “Why don’t I talk to Robin?” I picture the little blue bird she gave back to me. She’s there if I need her. That’s what she said. “If I tell her how sick you are and how your mom wants to take you to Dr. John Hopkins, Robin might give you the medicine after all.”

  Alex looks terrified. “You can’t. You promised. We don’t know what my mom will do.”

  “Okay, I won’t.” A promise is a promise. Only now I wish I hadn’t said I would keep our secret.

  Gloria’s at the bedroom door. “Time to get you back to the library, Amber. Alex needs to rest.”

  “See you next time,” I whisper to Alex as I get up. I pray there’ll be one.

  GLORIA GETS ME BACK to the library just in time. I hurry inside to watch through the door. In about t
wo minutes, Mom pulls up. I walk out, pretending I’ve been in there the whole time, but this was a close one.

  The whole drive home, Jaden carries on about getting a hit at the T-ball for once.

  “That’s great, Squirt.” I hardly listen. My mind is on what Alex said. Gloria’s taking him away. I don’t want him to go.

  We get home, and Mom tells me to walk Nina. Today I don’t mind. I want to be by myself, and a sheepdog doesn’t count as company. Jaden insists on coming along again.

  I roll my eyes. “Don’t you have homework?”

  He shrugs. “Only a little. I’ll do it after dinner.” He gives me that big-eyed kid-brother look. “Please?”

  He’s a dork, but I love him. “All right. Go get a poop baggie.”

  Nina sniffs her way down the block, picking where to do her business. I’m still worried about Alex. Today he really seemed sick. I wish I could tell Dad what’s going on, but he told me not to go to Gloria’s anymore. If he knew, he would tell Mom, and she would make me go to Jaden’s practices instead of dropping me at the library. I would never see Alex again.

  “Amber?” Jaden stares at me. “Aren’t you gonna answer me?”

  “Answer what?”

  “I asked if you’ve been visiting Gloria and Alex, like we talked about.”

  Now of all times, he has to ask. It’s like he’s a mind reader. I shrug. “Maybe.”

  Nina crouches on a lawn to pee.

  “You can tell me. Honest, I won’t say anything to Mom.”

  “You swear?” I need someone to talk to, even if it’s only my little brother.

  “Cross my heart and hope to die.”

  I tell him how I’ve been helping Alex hide the pills his mother gives him. Only now, when he’s not taking them, he’s getting sick for real, and I’m scared. Plus, now his mom wants to take him away to see some doctor named John Hopkins.

  Jaden stays quiet a moment. “Then you wouldn’t be able to see him anymore, right?”

  Nina finishes peeing, and I jerk her leash. “Yeah. That’s right.” But it’s not right. It’s all wrong. I have to stop Gloria from taking Alex away. I make up my mind. “I’m going over there.”

  “You are?” Jaden’s eyes go wide. “When?”

  “Now.”

  “But—what’ll I tell Mom?”

  “Tell her I’m taking a bike ride. Just don’t say where.”

  FORTY-NINE

  AMBER

  THE BIKE RIDE TO Gloria’s is harder than I expected. By the time I pedal up to her door and ring the bell, I’m sweaty and out of breath.

  “Amber, this is a surprise.” Gloria smiles, so I guess it’s okay that I came over. “Come in, dear. I bet you could use a cold drink. Maybe you’d like to go wash your face while I get you a soda.”

  I can only nod because I’m panting. I go to the bathroom and splash cool water on my face, which feels good. Then I head for the kitchen. Gloria sets a nice, big glass of Coke with ice in it on the table for me. I sit down and take a gulp—too big of one—and I burp.

  “Excuse me.” I cover my mouth.

  “That’s quite all right. You must have had a long ride.” She sits across the table from me.

  “Uh-huh. I worried about Alex. He seemed really sick before.”

  Gloria sighs. “He had a bad night. He’s taking a nap now. We’ll let him rest a bit while you and I chat.”

  “Oh.” I’m afraid he might be even sicker. I take another swallow of Coke. I feel drowsy. It must be from the bike ride, or maybe Gloria talking about sleep is making me tired. “Gloria?”

  She raises her eyebrows. “What, dear?”

  Maybe I shouldn’t ask, but I have to know. “Are you taking Alex away to see another doctor?”

  Gloria studies me like she’s thinking. I yawn, which isn’t as bad as burping, but I cover my mouth again so I won’t seem rude.

  “I’m afraid it’s necessary, yes.”

  I don’t understand what she means. The way she’s staring at me makes me self-conscious. “Why?” I drink my Coke to keep from yawning again.

  “Amber, dear, he had a close call, but he’ll be all right now.”

  A close call sounds bad. I’m embarrassed my eyes are closing. “What...?” My voice sounds funny.

  “Withdrawal, dear.” Gloria watches me. “Do you know what that is?”

  I shake my head. It feels heavy. I want to rest it on the table.

  “It’s what happens when people stop taking medicine they need.” Gloria sounds sore. “That can be very dangerous.”

  Dangerous. The word echoes in my brain like a warning, but I’m so sleepy.

  Gloria shakes her head. “Last night, he shivered and sweated so badly, I had to change his sheets and turn the mattress.” She clucks her tongue. “Imagine.”

  I try to meet her eyes, but mine keep closing.

  “Guess what I found when I turned over Alex’s mattress, Amber.”

  Uh-oh. My mouth feels sticky. I reach for the soda, but the glass is empty.

  “I found all those pills you and Alex hid.” She clucks her tongue again and shakes her head. “I’m very disappointed in you.”

  She caught us. I know it’s bad—for Alex because now Gloria will definitely take him away to that other doctor and for me because I won’t see him anymore. But all I want to do is sleep, like Alex.

  “Don’t worry, Amber.” Gloria’s voice is soothing, and it makes my eyes close. “Alex is back on his medicine, a higher dose to make up for what he missed.” She smiles. “I mixed it into his milk this morning.”

  I don’t understand how she could do that without Alex noticing the funny taste. He would probably spit it out. My head sinks onto the table.

  Gloria says, “The way I mixed sleeping pills into your soda just now.”

  I TRY TO OPEN MY EYES. I need to wake up, but I can’t. She gave me a sleeping pill. I have to get out of here, get help, but I can’t.

  Next thing I know, Gloria’s holding me around my waist and dragging me from the kitchen. I can hardly feel my feet. Let me go, I try to tell her, but all that comes out is a squeak.

  I’m sick to my stomach. It’ll serve her right if I throw up.

  We’re in her bathroom. I must have told her I feel sick. I wait for her to lean me over the toilet, but instead she sits me on the edge of the tub. Maybe she’s going to give me a bath. I look to see if I threw up on myself but get too dizzy.

  Gloria swings my legs into the tub. She doesn’t take my clothes off. I don’t want to get them wet. Mom will have a fit. I can’t get the words out. She leans my shoulders back and lowers me into the tub.

  No water. That’s a relief.

  “Now, Amber.” Gloria pats me on the head. “I need you to be nice and quiet, like a good girl.” She laughs.

  I start to cry.

  “I just got off the phone with Alex’s father. He’s coming over. After that, we’ll be leaving.” She laughs again. “I know you want to come with us, dear.”

  Alex’s father. I’ve never heard of him, but Alex must have one. Maybe he’ll help us. If I can get out of the tub, I’ll tell him what Gloria is doing to Alex. And me.

  I’m scared. The tub is dry, hard, but my arms and legs sink into it. My head spins. I roll onto my side so I don’t feel as sick and dizzy.

  Gloria chuckles again. “That’s right. You’re going to have a nice nap.”

  I really believed she was a good person. I should have listened to Robin when she warned me about Gloria.

  I must have fallen asleep. Next thing I know, I hear loud, arguing voices. I can only make out a few words through the closed bathroom door.

  “I’m his mother.” That’s Gloria. “Best for him.”

  Have to wake up...

  A man’s voice. “File for custody if you don’t...”

  My eyes open. I know that voice. I try to yell, but only a whimper comes out. Dad can’t hear me.

  I don’t understand why he’s here. Gloria said Alex’s father wo
uld be coming over, not mine. I’m all confused. I have to make him hear me this time. “Daaa...” I’m not loud enough. I reach for the lip of the tub. My hand slides back down, and my eyes close again.

  I wake up to my dad’s voice. “Two hours,” and something else I can’t hear.

  Gloria says, “I’ll have him packed.”

  I remember. She said we were leaving.

  Their voices fade. He’s leaving! Have to get to him before... I try my best to sit up, but the bathroom tile spins. My head aches so bad. All I can do is close my eyes and go back to sleep. Maybe I’ll wake up, and this will be a bad dream.

  FIFTY

  ROBIN

  FIRED. THE FULL IMPACT crashed over Robin like a tsunami the moment she closed her front door. She saw the familiar furnishings of her home, collected over the years of nursing school, licensure, paying dues to build her resume. She needed to support herself and Sean. He had a scholarship for tuition, but she supplied spending money. She paid his car insurance and other incidentals. They both needed health insurance.

  She supposed Sean’s father would step up and ensure their son had what he needed, but she counted on her job to cover her own expenses. Will had thrown her a lifeline, but Robin couldn’t believe in his job offer. The universe she inhabited had become a nightmare place, where everything fell apart and dreams broke into pieces.

  With a sob, Robin stumbled to her bedroom and pulled a handful of Kleenex from the box on her night table. She collapsed onto the bed, as if she’d fallen off a steep precipice and landed there. No, not fallen. Pushed. Gloria and Ben had done that.

  A flash of white-hot rage propelled Robin off the bed and back to the living room to get her cell phone. She Googled the contact information for child protection. Her finger hovered over the link to call the abuse report hotline. She’d agreed to wait until Ben spoke with Gloria, but she no longer owed him much loyalty. He’d kept a devastating secret from her and exposed her to Gloria’s machinations. It occurred to Robin that when she reported Gloria, she might get her job back. Perhaps she could convince Dr. Richman she’d stopped Gloria from abusing both her son and the hospital, more than the whole pediatric oncology staff had accomplished on their watch. That had to count in her favor.