Restoration

by Laurie Larsen

  “It’s probably not open,” she said.

  Ryan smiled. “I made a call. It’s open.”

  Sure enough, he reached the door and the handle turned and let them in. He looked over at her, “I still have contacts.” He laughed.

  They walked into the big open gym, crossing the wooden floor carefully. Ryan disconnected and went into the corner and suddenly, the entire gym was bathed in brilliant light. Grace clapped her hands and giggled.

  “Do you know what this is, Grace? This is a gym where we play basketball. Imagine a team of five basketball players in uniform on the floor, running around, throwing the ball, another team wearing a different uniform color trying to stop them from making baskets. Over here,” he gestured with his arm, “your mommy and a bunch of other pretty ladies are shaking pompoms and yelling for us, trying to get us to play harder. And here,” he waved his arms to encompass all the seats in the arena, “people are sitting and watching, and yelling and cheering and booing, depending on the play.” He kneeled in front of her and took her head in his hands. “Can you see it, Grace? Can you hear it? Can you feel the excitement?”

  Grace closed her eyes and Carly could see her absorbing all that Ryan was telling her. A smile filled her daughter’s face as she imagined this magical game that brought together all the people Ryan had described. “Yes.”

  Ryan rose to his feet. “Yes! I knew it! You’re going to be a part of it someday, Grace. You’re either going to play basketball, or be a cheerleader, or watch from the stands, but you are going to come to this very gym and be a part of it.” He bounced the basketball, its sound echoing throughout the empty gym. “You hear that, Grace? That is the absolute best sound in the world. That’s the sound of fun, competition, winning. I used to practice bouncing this ball for hours and hours every day. Shooting it, dribbling it, running, passing. It was a big part of my life.”

  Grace opened her eyes. “Let’s see!”

  Ryan was more than happy to show her his basketball skills and he demonstrated his shots, his dribbling, through the legs and twirling around, running while bouncing. Grace enjoyed every second of it. She was truly enchanted.

  Ryan came over, panting slightly, rubbing the ball with his fingers as if getting to know an old friend again. “Do you want to see what a cheerleader does? Do you want to see your mommy cheer?”

  “Yes!”

  Carly rolled her eyes good-naturedly. She was out of practice and hadn’t even thought of cheering in well over three years. That was a part of her past that had been buried ever since Grace, or the pending arrival of Grace, had entered her life. Leave it to Ryan to bring it back in such epic fashion. She’d loved this stage of her life. She’d loved being a cheerleader, going to all the games, helping her school’s teams and leading the fans in cheer. And watching Ryan play. That was the best part.

  Well, her life had changed now, but she could thank Ryan for bringing back this tiny little reminder of their past together. And introducing to the daughter they’d created, how and where they’d started. It was ingenious, really, when she thought about it. She’d told Grace that Ryan was her daddy, but the poor little thing had no frame of reference for that term in her two years of life. What did a daddy do? Where did a daddy come from? She’d told Grace – Ryan was showing her.

  Carly walked to the middle of the gym floor, facing Ryan and Grace. She cleared her throat and put her head down, thinking for a moment. Maybe it was like riding a bike, and it would just come back to her.

  “Raiders, let’s go. Be aggressive! B-E aggressive. B-E A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E!” Somehow, the hand motions and the kicks came back to her, right when she needed them, and she managed to execute a pretty basic cheer. Feeling empowered, she went ahead and did a cartwheel before she talked herself out of it, and waved her fists up in the air, pretending she was holding pompoms. Grace went crazy, running over to her, laughing and clapping. Sure, the kid had no idea what the cheer said, since she couldn’t spell, but she had gotten in the spirit that Ryan had initiated. Grace threw her arms around Carly’s legs, hugging where she could, and Ryan finished the family hug, pulling Grace and Carly both into an embrace.

  “Great job, Mommy. Great job, right, Grace?”

  Grace nodded and yelled, “Yes! Great job.”

  When they pulled apart, Ryan handed the ball to Grace and spent about twenty minutes chasing the big ball that Grace attempted to throw but was actually more of a roll. But they were playing together, and they were building memories and Carly couldn’t remember a time when either of them was that happy.

  Let him stay. Dear Lord, please make him stay. The words made a continual loop in her brain. This decision seemed so right. So right for Grace. But she didn’t even want to think about the total disaster it would be if he left again.

  Chapter Eight

  “Y ou don’t have to knock each time, you know. If it’s unlocked, just come on in.” Nora stood in the open doorway, taking in the sight of Shaw in the early evening, the autumn sunset showcased behind him, his cowboy hat on and his face fatigued from a long day.

  He shrugged. “Not sure about that.”

  “Why not?”

  “Doesn’t seem right, somehow. This is your place, not mine.”

  She grabbed his hand and pulled him inside, standing on tiptoe to plant a friendly kiss on his cheek. His complexion flushed just a little, then he recovered enough to pull her closer and return the kiss ... on the lips this time. They stayed connected by their mouths for a few long seconds and then he pulled back. Nora’s heart raced. She loved the way his kisses made her feel. And truth be told, she was glad he wasn’t rushing her for more intimacy than she was ready to offer him at the moment. There was something about making a new start that made them both want to do everything right this time. Premature intimacy would definitely not fall on the “right” list.

  “Okay. Then you can still knock, and I’ll answer, and some day maybe you’ll feel comfortable walking right in.”

  They walked into the sitting room and only then did Nora realize he held a big brown bag with corded handles. “What’s that?” she asked.

  “Consider it a gift. Something you’ll need for our concert date.”

  A rush of emotion went through her. The fact that he was planning a fun, exciting night for the two of them. The fact that he’d brought her a gift. There was something very appealing, dare she say, sexy about both those facts.

  “My curiosity is piqued.”

  He grinned and moved the bag to the coffee table in front of her. “Open it.”

  She pulled a shoebox out of the bag, but it was bigger than your average shoe box. Square. She opened it and pulled out a beautifully crafted leather cowboy boot. Its twin still sat in the box. A medium brown color, embroidered lines tracking through the leather, a slight heel. “Oh my gosh.”

  “Do you like them?”

  She opened her mouth to answer, but the words that immediately popped to her mind were not ones she wanted to speak. She didn't want to taint the happy evening with an accusation. She couldn't put her finger on it, but the gift made her feel odd. "Um, they are beautifully crafted," she said tentatively, tracing an index finger over the stitching.

  “When you get to the concert you’ll see that most women wear western clothing.”

  She stared back at the boots. "Shaw, I've never worn a pair of cowboy boots in my life. You have to know that." She looked up at him, and sensed an attack of tears forming. “Do I need a hat too?”

  He chuckled. “Cowboy hats are not mandatory, but I’d say the boots are.” His light hearted mood came to an end when he noticed her emotion. He placed a calming hand on her shoulder. "Nora. What's this? Are you okay?"

  Nora shook her head. "I'm feeling a little weird about this gift."

  "Why?"

  "Because. How do I say this? I'm not sure of your intention behind it. It comes across as a little ... pushy. Like you need
to dress me up to be more like you." She looked up at him, her heart rate racing. If she couldn't be honest with him about her true feelings, then they had no chance in the world of making this work. And she wasn't about to accept the gift without telling him how she was internally freaking out over it.

  "Wait." He pushed the boots away and concentrated on her. "You think I got you these boots so I could transform you into a country girl?"

  "Well, yeah. That's not who I am, Shaw. My background is very different than anyone who grew up here in the Low Country. No matter how you dress me up, you're not going to change that." She sniffed. "Can't you accept me for who I am?"

  He ran his fingers through his hair, leaving it looking distressed. Leaning close, he said, "Of course I can. I love who you are. I love being with you, not because you're the same as the others, but because you are different. I just enjoy being with you." He rubbed hands over weary eyes. "Nora, I'm out of my element here. I truly just want to start over with you and do it right this time. I messed up big, the first time. I know that. I just don't want to mess up again."

  Her heart began to melt. "Shaw, just ... don't try so hard. I want us to be together. To be easy and comfortable and get to know each other better."

  He studied her and she could tell his mind was whirring. "How about this? Let's take everything at face value for now. I invited you to a concert of my favorite country artist because I wanted to share that experience with you. Not because I won't like you if you aren't a fan of his too. Not because you're a city girl and I'm trying to push you into being a country girl. But because it's something I wanted us to do together." He gave a sad chuckle. "I'm really a simple guy, Nora, and I very rarely do anything with an ulterior motive. But then again, you don't really know that about me, do you?"

  Had she been suspicious of his intention because of his past mistakes? Were the lies that she was determined to forgive him for inching their way back into their new start? Was her city background causing her to mistrust him, when his intentions were fine and clean?

  "Let me see those boots."

  He gave her an eyebrows-up expression.

  "I want to see them." He picked up the box and placed it on the seat beside her. She slipped her foot into one and it slid right in, a perfect fit. “How’d you know what size I wore?”

  He stared at her for a moment, then fessed up. “I took a look at one of your shoes that was sitting around, to see what size you wore.”

  She slid the other one on, got up and walked around the living room. “They’re amazingly comfortable.”

  “I’m glad.” He watched her appreciatively. “If you want any wardrobe advice, Sadie has offered her services.”

  She glanced over at him. “She did?”

  “Yep. Only if you want it. Not pushing. Really, anything you wear, you’ll look amazing.” He brushed her cheek with his finger. "You always look amazing."

  His words caused a warmth to spread in her chest. "So what do women wear to country concerts?"

  "Anything. Really runs the gambit. Whatever you wear, make sure you're comfortable."

  She nodded, the concern in chest easing. “I think I will talk to Sadie about what women wear to country concerts. Thank you. Very thoughtful.”

  “Great. I’ll have her call you. Meanwhile, I’ve gotten tickets so put that date on your calendar.”

  “Who is it again?”

  “It’s Radley Ray. He’s my favorite country artist and I’ve seen him at least three other times. He’s coming to Charleston.”

  His enthusiasm was contagious, and she listened while he explained that Radley Ray was not only a talented singer, performer and songwriter, but he was also one of the most accomplished guitar players in country music. Not to mention, he had a sense of humor, which he showcased not only in his lyrics but while talking to the audience between songs. After a few minutes, Nora was excited to be going.

  Later in the evening, when Shaw was on his way out, he held up a finger and said, “Wait just a minute.” He ran out to his truck, rummaged around before closing the door and jogging back to her door. He handed her a CD. “This is Radley’s Greatest Hits album. If you have some time, listen to it before the concert so you’re familiar with his music. It’ll make the concert more fun for you.”

  She gave him a grateful, close-mouthed grin. She was glad she'd brought up her concerns, and he'd addressed them. “Thanks. Thanks, Shaw.”

  "Thank you for being open with me. I just need you to be patient with me. I'm doing the best I can." He gave her a long, tender kiss, and with a wave, he departed.

  SEVERAL WEEKS LATER, Carly was at work, head down, plowing through her extra-long To Do list when her desk phone rang. She ignored it for a second, long enough to finish a student’s schedule on her computer and press Enter, then she picked it up with a flourish. “Admissions Department, this is Carly, may I help you?”

  “No, but there’s someone here who wants to help you.” She recognized Haley’s voice, hushed but tinged with laughter. She instantly stood and looked across the big room in her friend’s direction. Not only did she see Haley on her feet, phone to her ear, facing in her direction, but standing on the other side of Haley’s receptionist desk, was Ryan. Her heart melted when she saw him. He was dressed for work in his khaki shorts and worn t-shirt, but he appeared clean, like he hadn’t started mowing yet. He’d spotted her. A beautiful smile graced his face and he raised a bag at her with eyebrows up.

  “He says he won’t stay long.” Then she put her hand over the receiver and whispered, “Although I’m sure you could think of some reason for him to stay longer.” And she made a hilarious sound like a cat meowing.

  Carly chuckled. “I’ll be right up.” She waved at Ryan as she hung up the phone.

  “Hi,” he said, moving his mouth close to her ear and brushing his lips there, causing a shiver to run down her spine.

  “Hi. What are you doing here?”

  “You told me you’d be too busy to eat lunch today. So, when I was buying mine, I went ahead and got two. Hope you don’t mind.”

  God help her, no, she didn’t mind at all. In fact, she was happy to see him. He put a spot of handsomeness in her day. “When did I tell you that?” she asked, trying to remember.

  “Last night.”

  She shrugged. She didn’t even remember telling him, but he sure remembered hearing it. And acting on it. “This is so sweet of you.” Not just sweet. Downright thoughtful. Sure, the guy was turning out to be a rock star father to Grace. He came over regularly, sometimes just to hang out with Grace while Carly studied in the evening. Sometimes they all three went out together for fun outings that built memories, and once or twice, Carly trusted him to take Grace out all by himself.

  But this. This nice gesture had nothing to do with Grace. This could be a sign that he cared for her as a person.

  He smirked. “It’s no big deal, Carly. It’s just a hamburger and fries.”

  She grinned. “Well, it’s the thought that counts.” Maybe to him it was no big deal. But other than her parents, she hadn’t had anyone in a good long time who was watching out for her. Thinking of her needs. She’d been alone and responsible for herself for a long time.

  She was just about to ask him to sit down and chat with her while she ate when he said, “Well, I better run. My work shift starts at 12:30. See you tonight.”

  She waved and was about to respond when he held a hand out to Haley, who was watching their exchange unabashedly. “I’m Ryan, by the way. Nice to actually meet you.” He grinned at Haley, then at Carly, then he was gone.

  Haley waved a hand in front of her face. “Oh. My. Gosh. He’s so cute. He’s a hunk, lady. You realize that, don’t you?”

  “I ...”

  “And how sweet was that, bringing you lunch as a total surprise out of the blue?”

  “Yeah, I wasn’t expecting that.”

  “I know you’
ve had your doubts about him in the past, but yowza. That boy’s turned over a new leaf.”

  Carly grinned a closed mouth smile. “I have to admit you’re right. He convinced me that he’s committed to Grace. We went ahead and told her Ryan was her daddy. She calls him Daddy now. That was a big step for me.”

  Haley came out from around her desk and pulled Carly in her arms. “I’m so happy for you, girlfriend. Life is working out just right, now, isn’t it?”

  Carly giggled, then quieted. “It’s absolutely fantastic that he is building a relationship with Grace. But I ... I have no idea how he feels about me.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Carly sniffed. “I mean, he thinks I’m a good mother, I know that. But whether or not he wants us to get back together as a couple, and raise Grace together ... I have no idea.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Totally serious. Between us, there seems to be a chemistry, but maybe it’s just me. He is a perfect gentleman around me, which is great, don’t get me wrong. But maybe he just has platonic feelings towards me. I don’t know.”

  “Well, I know how to get him to show his feelings. Put a big fat smacker right on his lips and see what he does. You’ll know one way or another, now won’t you?”

  Carly shook her head. “I can’t do that. We have to be on good terms for Grace’s sake. What if I told him how I felt about him, and he doesn’t reciprocate my feelings? I’d feel so awkward around him. Like such a loser. And I’d still have to see him every day because of Grace. No. I want him to make the first move. If he doesn’t, I guess we just stay friends.”

  Haley was studying her, a thoughtful expression on her face. “You realize the flaw in your logic, don’t you? If Ryan is thinking the same exact thing you are, you two are at a stalemate. Neither one of you want to make the first move because of the chance of rejection.”

  Carly shook her head. She doubted Ryan was thinking anywhere near the same thing. Ryan Melrose? Afraid of rejection? The man had never faced rejection in his life. Everything always went his way. She doubted he even knew what the sting of rejection was.