Restoration

by Laurie Larsen

  The affection Nora felt for her made her pull Sadie into a hug. Patting her back, Nora whispered, “I think we will.”

  THE REST OF THE WEEK passed by quickly and soon, it was Wedding Day. Carly provided sufficient pampering to her two-year-old in her preparations: curled her hair, painted her nails and slipped a beautiful red dress on her. “Oh baby, you look beautiful,” she exclaimed with a smile.

  “What are you wearing?”

  Carly whipped the plastic off the peach dress with a flourish and slipped the dress on.

  “Oh!” Grace gasped.

  “Do I look pretty?”

  “Yes, you do. Very pretty. Like a princess.”

  Carly chuckled as she finished her preparations, her hair, makeup and jewelry. One final look in the mirror and she declared herself done. She hadn’t spent this much time on herself since before Grace was born.

  Funny how priorities like that changed once a little one was around.

  Just on time, a knock sounded at the door. Grace giggled excitedly and ran to open it. “Daddy!”

  Carly’s heart twisted just a little. Her daughter was so excited to call Ryan her daddy, and the fortifying wall Carly had built to protect her heart let loose one more brick. Poof, gone.

  Ryan knelt in the doorway to be face-to-face with Grace. “Well, darlin’, don’t you look pretty?”

  Grace smiled and blushed and twirled in a circle, giving him a chance to see her beauty from all angles. “Hi Daddy,” she said softly, with a tinge of shyness. She plunged herself into his open arms for a hug and he chuckled. Gripping her tight, he came to his feet and brought her along for the ride, bringing an excited squeal from her lips.

  “Oh but wait. Wait just a minute, Princess. You have competition. Who’s the most beautiful girl in this room?”

  “Me!” Grace said through a happy smile.

  “But look at your mama. She looks beautiful too, now doesn’t she?”

  Grace tore her eyes away from Ryan, so she could look at her mother and she generously nodded her head, wild, energetic nodding in agreement. “Yes, Mama looks beautiful, too.”

  “Oh my, well, there’s no way I could choose between the two of you, so I guess I’ll just thank my stars that I’m the luckiest guy at the wedding with two beautiful girls.”

  A giddy happiness filled Carly’s heart. It was so silly, this exchange, and she knew he was doing it for Grace’s entertainment, but Ryan looked so handsome in a dark suit with white shirt and tie. And he’d cut his hair back to his high school short look; he was clean-shaven and there was not one inch of him that didn’t look delicious. His mood was light and carefree, and she let herself soak in the sentiment. They were a young, happy family, off for a day together without a care in the world.

  At least, that’s the way it would look to the wedding goers. She’d worry about the underlying motivations and assumptions later and just let herself have a good time.

  “You look very handsome yourself, doesn’t he, Grace?”

  Their daughter smiled and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Yeah!”

  Ryan looked pleased at her compliment and he came close, and while still holding Grace in one arm, he put his other around Carly’s waist, pulled her in and kissed her. He placed his soft lips on hers and let them linger there. She was so taken by surprise that she didn’t quite know what to do. But if truth be told, she didn’t want to pull away.

  A few short beats later, he ended the kiss and Carly turned, unwilling to meet her daughter’s curious gaze, and hoping to God that Grace didn’t start asking questions. It was the first time they’d kissed in front of her, or for that matter, displayed any type of affection whatsoever. Later. Tonight, at bedtime, she would answer any questions Grace had about the kiss, or their relationship or their potential future. But for now, they’d have fun.

  They piled into Ryan’s car and he drove the short distance to the church. Carly had given her a brief rundown of who the players are in a wedding, since she had no experience in the concept of weddings. The bride, the groom, the minister. Fancy dresses and suits. Vows taken and the love the married couple shared. So, in the car, Grace was full of questions.

  “Who is the bride?” she asked.

  “The bride’s name is Jessica,” Ryan explained.

  “Who is the groom?”

  “The groom is my cousin Charlie.”

  “Why are they getting married?”

  “Because they love each other, and they want to spend the rest of their lives together.” Ryan winked at Carly and she knew he was pleased with his answer to Grace’s interrogation. Until the next question came.

  “Why?”

  Ryan’s brow wrinkled. Carly snorted. He probably didn’t realize yet, but “why” was Grace’s go-to question in any conversation. When she couldn’t think of what else to say, she’d fill the empty space with “why?” It took Carly herself a few months to realize that Grace wasn’t necessarily expecting a coherent answer to this question. But Ryan hadn’t figured that out yet. So, she smiled sweetly at him, raised her eyebrows as if she, too, were waiting for an answer and let him fluster.

  “They want to be man and wife,” he attempted, probably praying to himself that it would be sufficient.

  And it was. For now. Grace nodded her head hard enough to flip her carefully created curls around her shoulders and looked out the window.

  Ryan looked at Carly and gave her an exaggerated expression of relief. Carly chuckled. “Life with a two-year-old.”

  Ryan nodded, then smiled. “A two-year-old with a birthday coming up.”

  “Yeah.” Grace’s birthday was several months away.

  “Let’s throw a party.” He said it with such enthusiasm that Carly wanted to simultaneously thrill in his excitement and shush him, so he wouldn’t get Grace's hopes up for a party that might never take place. Because Ryan, so enthused about it today, could lose interest by then, and move on to the next thing that interested him.

  He’d always been like that. His upbringing allowed him to follow his interests, whatever they might be. His parents had encouraged him to try new things. But in the case of fatherhood, he not only tried new things – college – but he’d abandoned his “old thing.” And just because he was at her side now, all dressed up and shiny, and wanting a do-over, she couldn’t quite believe that he was with her and Grace for good.

  “Awww, what’s going on?” His concerned words cut through her unhappy thoughts and she turned her head with a jolt to look at him.

  “What do you mean?”

  He shifted his eyes from her to the road, a worried look on his face. “We were having such a good time, and you looked so sad just now. What were you thinking about?”

  Her first impulse was to brush it off. “Nothing, no. I’m fine.” She managed a fake smile in his direction.

  “Aww now. You can tell me.”

  His sweet smile made her heart gush with sentimental feelings she knew weren’t healthy for her. She sighed and decided to be at least part-way honest with him. As much as she could without opening herself up for a total heartbreak. “I’m just getting used to our new reality, Ryan. You and me and Grace. Doing stuff together. Her knowing exactly who you are. It’s just new to me. It was me and Grace for so long.”

  His face turned sad now, a crease between his eyebrows, a look of shame taking over. “And you don’t know if you can trust me, right? Because I did such a bad thing when Grace was first born. I left you on your own with her and went off to live my own life as if I didn’t leave you guys behind.”

  She stared at him. “Yes,” she said, surprised at his depth of exposure.

  He nodded and then, looking in the rearview mirror, found a spot to pull over. He stopped the car and turned in his seat to look at her. He sat still for a long moment, then pulled her hands into his and said, “I did a terrible thing. I made a huge mistake. But I am sorry, and I’m do
ing everything I can to prove to you, Carly, that I’m back. I want to earn your forgiveness and your trust. I want you to believe in me. I want to make things right.”

  A whirring filled her ears and the car’s silence morphed into a dizzying windstorm. She shook her head to clear the sound and looked straight at him. The watering of her eyes could’ve been caused by the sunlight pouring into the window behind him, or who knows, it could’ve been his words. Words she’d wanted to hear for years. Words she wanted to believe, but her heart couldn’t quite let go of her resistance.

  “And listen, don’t you let me off too easy, now.” He smiled that beautiful smile that had first made her lose her heart over him when she was a young teenaged girl. That same happy smile that exuded a light all around him and made him special. “You make me earn it, you hear?” He laughed as if everything in his life was going great, going fine, according to plan. There was nothing that could destroy this guy’s optimism. “Because when you fall back in love with me, I want to know that I did my darnedest to win you back, and it’s going to be forever this time.”

  Her eyes popped open wide. “Wha...?”

  “I still love you, Carly. I always have. I just lost my way for a bit. But I’m back.”

  Carly frowned and shook her head. “For Grace.”

  He let his eyes wander into the back seat to their daughter, then back to her. “Yes, absolutely, for Grace. But not just for Grace. For you, too. I want us to be a family.”

  She stammered, because regardless of how empty-minded it made her sound, she had to know the truth of his intentions. “You want us to be a family because it’s best for Grace?”

  His eyes rested on hers. “I want us to be a family because it’s best for all of us. I want us to start now and do this thing right this time. I want you to love me as much as I love you.”

  “You love me,” she whispered. She hadn’t known. Had she missed it? Had he told her, and her heart was so clamped shut against him that she wouldn’t listen? Or was this a new revelation? “You love me?” she said out loud.

  “Yes, darlin’, I love you.”

  Well. Now she knew. He wasn’t back just to be Grace’s father. He was back to be with her too. At least that’s what he was saying. Now the question was ... what did she want?

  BEING AT A MELROSE family event on the arm of the crowned Prince Ryan was an experience Carly had never had. He had jokingly called Grace a princess this morning, but sure enough, her daughter was definitely living out her wildest royal fantasy. Everyone flocked around her, and her daddy made sure that everyone got an introduction and a chance to say hello. Ryan’s hand found its way to Carly’s lower back and stayed there all day. Occasionally he would take her arm or entangle his elbow around hers. His possessiveness was sweet, in a way. To anyone’s watchful eye, they appeared to be a young couple in love, a young family with nothing but happiness in their future.

  Carly hated her skepticism, abhorred it, but doubtful thoughts ran through her mind ... why now? Was all this affection and commitment just an act to impress his family? Or was it true? She just didn’t know, and she couldn’t allow herself to fall unguarded into the depths of his adoring gazes at her. As much as she admired her own resolve for protection, she hated it too. She wanted to allow herself to fall in love with him again. But she couldn’t forget what had happened the last time she’d done it.

  Her daughter, on the other hand, had absolutely no trouble playing the part of Prince Daddy’s adored princess. Always a happy little girl, Carly observed a more ecstatic side to Grace that was new. She was positively blossoming under the attention of this big Melrose clan.

  They stood in line to shake Charlie and Jessica’s hands at the reception. A little bit of shyness took over Grace, and she turned away from the bride in the big white dress. Ryan swooped her up into his arms and said gently, “Grace, this is your second cousin Jessica Melrose. Doesn’t she make the most beautiful bride?”

  Grace turned and looked and nodded shyly.

  “Someday you’ll be a beautiful bride and I’ll be there to walk you down the aisle, just like Jessica’s daddy walked her down the aisle.”

  Grace let out a little smile on her face and held out her hand for Jessica to shake. “Congratulations,” she attempted, the difficult word stumbling out over her lips. But the bride and groom chuckled and leaned in and gave her kisses on her cheeks.

  Ryan and Grace moved on past, and Carly held out her hand, ready to offer her own congratulations to the pair. She was surprised when they both gave her a personal message. “Carly, we want you to know how happy we are that you and Ryan are back together. He’s never looked happier or more content, and we know that you and Grace have done that for him. Congratulations.”

  Carly paused, her mouth open before she recovered with a quiet, “Thank you both.” She nodded at them as she moved on. It wasn’t really their business that she was confused about her and Ryan’s relationship, and that it was only just today that Ryan had made it clear his feelings about her, and his vision for their future. That she wasn’t there yet and would need to search her feelings and her heart to determine the right thing to do.

  On the other hand, it sure was an exciting prospect.

  RYAN SAT AT HIS SPOT at the table of the reception hall, waving off a wandering waitress with a tray full of champagne for the bridal toast. He knew Carly wasn’t old enough to drink legally, and he wasn’t going to put her in an uncomfortable position. He instead asked the waitress for sparkling grape juice for the two of them.

  “Everyone, stand for the bridal toast.” He smiled at Carly. They’d found themselves alone since one of his relatives had nabbed Grace. The little girl was the hit of the reception, second only in popularity to Jessica, the bride. As it should be. His little girl was soaking in the love and affection of her extended family, in her deserved spot of center of attention.

  The sparkling juice arrived just in time and he handed one to Carly. They raised their glasses, along with the rest of the guests, and he slid his hand into position along her back. He loved touching her. He loved that she allowed him to touch her. He hoped beyond hope that it wasn’t just the novelty of the wedding day that encouraged their closeness, and that it would continue into their daily lives. It was a start.

  The toast delivered, they clinked their champagne glasses and drank. He couldn’t help himself and leaned in and captured her mouth with his own and kissed her, tasting the sweet juice on her lips. He pulled back and studied her, wanting to see her truthful reaction. She smiled up at him and his heart jumped. His beautiful Carly.

  The DJ started the music and he took her hand. “Will you dance with me?” She looked hesitant, and he continued, “Grace is taken care of.” He scanned the room and pointed over to one corner. “My grandma has her.”

  Carly looked and then nodded. “Okay, let’s dance.”

  They danced fast to the beat of a 90s pop song, and then the pace changed to a slow song. He pulled her into his arms and placed his chin on her shoulder, his nose in her auburn hair. Breathing in, he smelled the scent of her shampoo, an apple scent, and it made him smile as he pictured her getting ready for this day ... for his family ... for him. “You smell so good, Carly,” he murmured and under his hands he felt her shiver. He wanted to tell her again how much he loved her, but he held back, knowing she wasn’t there yet. Knowing that she was smart to be hesitant in believing his words of commitment, knowing he hadn’t earned that yet.

  It would happen. He would get her to love him again, and they would be happy. They were both hard workers, and although they were a little behind schedule at the moment, they would both earn their degrees, get good jobs, and have a good life. He knew it.

  “Ryan.” His mother’s voice came from nearby and his head jerked up.

  “Mom.”

  “May I cut in?” she asked.

  Carly immediately stopped dancing and pulled back, but he he
ld her tight. “Mom, I’ll come find you for the next dance. This is Carly’s and my dance.” He didn’t know what his mother was up to, but there was no way he would cut Carly loose and make her walk all by herself back to the table.

  “No, that’s okay,” Carly said with an uncomfortable expression. “You two go ahead and dance.” And she backed out of his arms. His mother stepped closer to him. He had to move his head to see Carly as she backed up. “Carly, are you sure?” he asked.

  She nodded and just like that, she was gone. He sighed and took his mother’s hands in his.

  “Nice wedding,” she remarked.

  “Yes, it is.”

  “Jessica is such a nice girl. Masters degree in Accounting, got her CPA. Has a job offer waiting for her in Charleston.”

  He sighed again. Only his mother would confuse being a nice girl with having a killer resume and paycheck. But he didn’t want to get into a debate with her now. “That’s nice.”

  They danced in silence for a few beats and Ryan hoped beyond hope that the conversation was over.

  “Dad talked to Chapel Hill yesterday.”

  Ryan went motionless and his heartrate went motionless as well. “What? Why?”

  “He wanted to know if they would take you back and transfer your credits from this junior college.”

  A flash of rage raced through him and he took a moment to gain control before he opened his mouth. “It’s not a junior college, Mom. Myrtle Beach College is a four-year institution. And I’m not going back to Chapel Hill.”

  She sniffed. “They said they’d take you.”

  “Well, of course they’d take me. They didn’t ask me to leave. It was my decision.”

  “The worst decision of your life.”

  He clamped his mouth shut and fought the urge to grind his teeth together. “That is your opinion.”

  Another few beats of music passed before she continued. “You would find a suitable young lady at Chapel Hill. Someone you could spend your future with.”