‘Ready to go?’ the driver asked.
‘Yes,’ she said, holding up a hand as the car moved away and her friends became smaller and smaller until they finally disappeared. A Halifax appeared in the sky and she watched as it circled, preparing to land. They’d come a long way in so little time.
‘It’s going to be no different back home,’ she muttered to herself.
‘Sorry luv, what was that?’ the driver asked.
She smiled and shook her head. ‘Oh nothing, just talking to myself.’
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHATTIS HILL AIRFIELD, HAMPSHIRE,
SEPTEMBER 1942
RUBY
‘It’s strange not having Lizzie here with us, isn’t it?’ Ruby said to May as they sat passing the time. There were no ferry notes to swat up on this time – they were all piloting Spitfires and they knew the aircrafts like the back of their hands. They’d flown in that morning to Chattis Hill to collect the brand-new planes, which were all lined up and waiting for them on the runway.
‘To start with she was like an exotic creature, completely foreign in every way, but in the end she was just like us,’ May replied.
‘Just like us?’ Ruby queried. ‘Well, I don’t know if either of us is as glamorous or outspoken.’
‘Speak for yourself!’ May grinned, and Ruby laughed, enjoying how much more jovial May had been lately.
She thought back to all the times they’d shared with Lizzie. She was a real character – she’d helped to liven things up and she’d been a heck of a pilot. Perhaps that was why Ruby had been so determined to fly the Halifax: without the competition, perhaps she never would have pushed herself so hard to succeed. If women were going to keep making a difference, maybe they had to be forced to see how capable they were.
‘Do you think she’s seen her father yet?’ Ruby asked. ‘It must have been hard for her being so far away, and she always spoke fondly of him.’
May shook her head. ‘I haven’t had word from her.’
She stood as someone called her over, and Ruby waited to hear the news. May was soon back, a nervous flicker crossing her face that made Ruby wonder what they were in for.
‘Ladies, we’ll be wheels-up within the next half-hour, so I suggest you use the toilet and do anything else you need to do.’ She paused. ‘We’re all travelling to Colerne, as you know, to ferry the new Spitfires. They need to get there yesterday, to be frank, because they’ll be sailing on the USS Wasp to Malta as soon as can be.’
‘How many of them?’ Ruby asked.
‘Forty-seven in total, but not all from here,’ May replied. ‘Any questions, come and see me, otherwise prepare yourselves for a fast flight, ladies. Getting these planes to Malta could change the course of the war, and this is a Priority 1 Wait if we can’t all take off on schedule. These planes will be delivered today.’
Ruby had listened to the wireless and talked it through with her host, Mr Robinson, the night before. Securing Malta was critical to British control of the Mediterranean. Without these Spitfires? They’d be bombed to oblivion. The last thing they needed was for Malta to fall, which was why Roosevelt had loaned the British an aircraft carrier, the USS Wasp, for the single trip to get the planes where they needed to go. It was all hands on deck, and everyone was relying on them to get the Spitfires to Colerne.
‘I want you first up behind me, Ruby. Let’s go.’
‘You’d better watch out – I wobble all over the place when I’m putting my lipstick on before landing,’ Ruby joked.
Ruby loved the Spitfires – they were the aircraft she’d miss most when the war ended; if it ever ended. The big bombers were amazing, especially the Halifax, which was so enormous it had room for a crew of six, but she felt most alive, most in charge, flying the smaller, more elegant Spitfire.
She paused as May spoke to Benjamin, grinning as she watched Ben pull May close for a second before she quickly walked away.
‘I thought you said you didn’t have a sweetheart?’ she teased.
‘I didn’t and I don’t,’ May said, her cheeks a little red. ‘Now focus on flying, would you?’
‘Ben and May: it has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?’
‘Shoo,’ May scolded. ‘I’m your commander and I insist you go to your plane!’
Ruby blew her a kiss and jogged to her aircraft, still laughing. Good old Lizzie, for spotting what was going on!
Surprisingly the weather was clear enough, with only small pockets of cloud cover, and soon she was sitting in the cockpit, rubbing her hands together to warm them.
‘Contact!’ she yelled, before switching on the magnetos and starting up the engine, the propellers pulling through and kick-starting it to life.
After wrestling the little beast of a plane into the air, it was smooth sailing. She’d followed May up, and she was flying just behind her, keeping an eye on her tail and scanning constantly around her. For weeks she’d had this sinking feeling, a recurring nightmare: she was flying through cloud cover only to happen upon a plane flying towards her with a huge black cross on the fuselage and a swastika on its tail. Today that feeling was thrumming through her tenfold. There were so many of them in the air that they made an excellent target; what if the Germans took out a handful of female ATAs? She shuddered. It wasn’t worth thinking about.
And she had something else to be mindful of. She thought of the warmth within her, wondering if she was right. She’d missed her monthly cycle, and after that magical night with Tom she was almost certain she was pregnant. The very idea should have alarmed her when they weren’t even married, but she loved her Tom and she had no doubt he loved her just as much. Only she wasn’t telling him or anyone her news, not until she had to. The last thing she wanted was to be forced to stop flying, not when she was one of only three British women to get their Class V conversion. Pregnant or not, she wasn’t about to give up flying bombers, or any kind of plane that might be needed – not when she finally believed that she was capable of doing it.
Tom. Just thinking about him made her smile. After so long, she’d almost convinced herself that he would be a let-down when she was finally with him again, if they even got that far. But the look on his face, the genuine joy she’d seen when he’d watched her take off her helmet beside the Halifax and insist she was the pilot, had told her everything she’d needed to know. All the doubts she’d been having, all the anger she’d felt over his letters, had disappeared when they’d finally laid eyes on one another again.
And they were getting married on her next two days of leave. How he’d managed to secure the same two days she had no idea, but he’d written to her to check before insisting they marry at once. Her mother was going to be heartbroken, but she’d forgive her. At least this way his nosey, interfering mother would have nothing to do with it, and it might stop her from sending malicious letters – once they were married they were married, and that would be that. She wondered if he’d even tell her, or wait until after the war.
She scanned the sky again, wondering why she had such an unusual sense of foreboding. Perhaps it was that Lizzie had gone, or that May was flying with her when she was usually grounded and busy organising everyone else; or simply that there were so many of them travelling in the same direction, on the same flight path at the same time.
Whatever the case, once they landed she was going to take to ask May and Polly if they could be there on her wedding day. She would have asked Lizzie too, if she was still here.
She settled in for the flight, scanning the sky again and regularly checking her gauges. Her bottom already felt numb and she cursed the fact that she’d forgotten to bring a cushion to make the flight a bit more comfortable.
The mechanics waiting for them at Colerne hadn’t been able to hide their excitement at the Spitfires arriving through the mist, and Ruby loved the pride she always felt at accomplishing something that so many people were counting on. She’d half-expected the feeling to pass once she’d been in the role for a while
, but the gratitude they received from the pilots and ground crew at various airfields now was something she’d never tire of.
‘Did you see that?’
Ruby turned and looked to where May was pointing. They’d all been sitting outside despite the cold, nursing hot cups of tea as they waited for notification to leave, and the last of the pilots were landing in dribs and drabs. They hadn’t all come from the same base, and there were still a handful of ATAs expected within the next few hours.
‘What?’ she asked, not sure what May was so fixated on.
‘It looked like that plane was making an uphill final approach.’
Ruby peered into the sky. Maybe May was right; it seemed unlikely, but the cloud cover was dense after a lovely morning when they’d first taken off, and some pilots might turn back rather than attempt to make their final push toward Colerne.
‘There’s nothing more frightening than knowing you’ve made the choice to fly, and then hurtling through the sky wondering why in God’s name you decided to be the brave one,’ May muttered.
‘You think that’s what happened there?’
May was standing now, one hand raised as she studied the sky. She stayed silent and then started to pace.
‘Here she comes,’ May muttered, as a figure appeared in the distance, walking towards them. ‘Polly!’
Ruby leapt up and followed, wondering why May was so worried.
‘Polly, what was all that about? We watched your approach,’ May asked.
The other girl looked past May and gave Ruby a strange look. The colour had drained from her face, leaving her ashen. She was usually so fun, so full of life, but today she was nothing like her usual self.
‘Go and get her a hot cuppa, would you?’ May asked, frowning as she held out a hand to Polly.
But something made Ruby pause. The way Polly kept looking at her was unsettling, her eyes darting back and forth. What was going on?
‘Visibility was bad?’ May asked.
‘Terrible. I only took off because I’d memorised the sequence of landmarks to get here. I had to fly so low just to mark off each road and railway line.’
‘You could have turned back, or not taken off at all.’
Polly made a strange spluttering noise and gave Ruby a furtive glance again. ‘That wasn’t an option. Visibility increased, and I flew as slowly as possible, but I had to fly the last mile along a lane, which was uphill to here.’
‘And the others?’ Ruby asked.
May turned around, as if she was surprised to still see Ruby standing there.
‘I think they turned around, but I can’t be sure.’
‘Why didn’t you?’ Ruby asked, staring back at Polly. ‘Turn back, I mean? What’s actually going on here?’
Polly burst into tears.
‘Get the tea,’ May murmured. ‘Or something stronger.’
Ruby froze, her feet rooted to the ground. ‘Why did you persist?’ she asked again, suddenly needing to know.
‘We had word, a call came in, I . . .’
Ruby breathed deep, wrapping her arms around herself. Was it their base? Had something happened to the other pilots? She watched as May stroked Polly’s arm, and then her friend slowly raised her eyes to Ruby’s.
‘I don’t know how to tell you this, Ruby, but . . .’
Ruby went ice-cold, and a shudder descended her spine. Was it her family? What in God’s name was going on?
‘Spit it out!’ May ordered. ‘What message do you have?’
‘There was a call for you, Ruby. It’s your fiancé,’ Polly stuttered. ‘Your Tom is missing in action, presumed dead. I’m so sorry.’
Ruby opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She went from ice-cold to burning hot and back to freezing again as she gaped at Polly.
‘My Tom?’ she managed to choke out, his handsome, strong face swimming in front of her eyes. She inhaled and could smell the musky, masculine scent of him, could feel his fingers as they traced against her skin. Her hand fell to her stomach.
‘What happened? Did they give any information?’
Polly, wide-eyed, shook her head. ‘They only said that he was struck by enemy fire. A Luftwaffe fighter appeared from nowhere and three aircraft were in enemy sights. They all engaged, but Tom took a direct hit and parachuted out.’
Ruby felt herself nodding, as if she were trying to reassure Polly that she understood what she was saying. ‘The enemy aircraft? What happened to it?’
‘Obliterated,’ Polly whispered back. ‘That’s all I know.’
‘So there’s a chance, I mean, if he was seen exiting in his parachute, if . . .’
May’s arms closed around her as she babbled, trying to convince herself that he might be all right. Why couldn’t he survive that? Was it so crazy to believe that he could be alive still?
‘This was almost two days ago, and he hasn’t been heard of or seen since.’
Ruby gasped, a sob catching in her throat. So her Tom was dead. All this time, all these months and years of holding on to what her life would be like post-war, the snapshot image in her mind of them in a little home of their own, with children, happy and having fun again: all gone. And for the past forty-eight hours, she’d been dreaming of their little baby, of how to tell him, of marrying the man on their scheduled leave. And he was already gone.
Her legs buckled beneath her and suddenly May was on one side of her and Polly on the other. She should have thanked her friend for telling her the news, for risking life and limb to get to her in person, but she couldn’t.
Tom was gone.
The words repeated over and over in her mind, as she walked, as she listened to May demand a stiff drink for her and as a hush fell over the mess room when May quietly told the others what had happened.
Ruby looked up and saw so many faces, so many women whom she loved and respected, and it hurt. They’d all lost someone to this war; they’d all had their share of heartache, but until now, she hadn’t. Polly held her, rubbing her back, stroking her face as she sat there, crumpled inside.
And now she’d lost the one person in the world she’d been living for. She touched her stomach again, but refused to look down, shutting her eyes instead.
Please, Tom, please come home to me, she thought.
‘Just breathe, Ruby. Just breathe.’
She heard May’s voice, but she couldn’t breathe. Tom was gone, and he was never, ever coming back.
‘No!’ she finally wailed, lurching forward as the noise broke free, the pain too much as it tore through every inch of her.
‘Shhhhh,’ May cooed, as if she were cradling a baby. ‘Shhh now.’
Ruby wanted to run, she wanted to bolt away and never look back, never admit what she’d heard, never truly digest it. But she curled into a ball instead, sobbing in May’s arms, tears streaming down her cheeks as she squeezed them shut and tried to block it all out.
‘I love you, baby,’ Tom crooned, stroking her hair from her face.
‘I love you, too,’ she whispered. ‘I swore I wouldn’t fall into your arms, that I’d make you work for it after all those awful letters, but you’re the one, Tom, you always have been.’
‘I fell in love with you the day you arrived for your first flight,’ Tom murmured, his lips brushing her hair. ‘That big smile, your eyes twinkling as you looked from me to the plane and back again – I thought, that’s the girl I’m going to marry.’
‘You didn’t,’ she scolded. ‘If you thought that, why did you take so long to ask me out?’
He laughed and pulled her closer. ‘Because I wanted to take things slow.’
‘I can’t believe we have all night together,’ she whispered, tucking even closer to him, cocooned in his arms in front of the fire.
‘Ruby, once this war is over, we’ll have every night together for the rest of our lives.’ He laughed. ‘Before we know it, we’ll have a big house of our own and four children to fill it.’
‘Four?’ she asked. ‘How about two?
’
Ruby wailed, one hand on her stomach as she tried to shut down the memories that kept crashing back, of their one night together on base. One, she thought, squeezing her eyes shut. We only had one child, Tom. And now this little baby is going to be born without a daddy.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
HOUSTON MUNICIPAL AIRPORT, TEXAS,
SEPTEMBER 1942
LIZZIE
‘You’re very badly needed, every single one of you,’ Lizzie said, beaming as she looked at her first ever class of pilots. Jackson, seated beside her, had arrived on base with General Hap that morning, and she’d tried her best to ignore him so far. They’d barely spoken since their final encounter back in England, and she was still angry that he’d kept information from her. But Hap had insisted they work together, and she didn’t see that she had much choice in the matter. ‘What you have signed up for, what you are preparing to do, I am certain will be admired in years to come. My time in Britain flying for the ATA with the most talented women pilots showed me how a female ferry division can work, and I have no doubt we can be equally as successful as our British sisters.’
The women all looked back, hopeful and buzzing with an excitement that she could feel. She gestured to the man at her side.
‘I’d like to introduce you all to Captain Jackson Montgomery, who will be the army captain in charge of our training centre here,’ she said. ‘He is a very accomplished pilot and instructor, and was invaluable in Britain while I was there. I’d like you all to give him a warm welcome.’
The women put their hands together and started to clap, but Jackson held up a hand, frowning as if he didn’t approve of the fanfare. Lizzie wasn’t used to seeing him without one arm in a sling, and there was something different about him now that he wasn’t recuperating; perhaps it was because he was no longer in an informal position, as he had been in England. She knew May had liked him and respected his opinion, but she’d expected to be running the show when she was finally given command of her own squadron, and with Jackson here it felt like she’d been sent a babysitter. Perhaps if he’d been honest with her about what was going on in the US when they were both still at Hamble, she’d trust him more. But he hadn’t.
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