by Aileen Erin
“No. It’s actually less dangerous than what I was doing before.” I huffed. “At least if I die now, it’ll be because of a choice I made.” My tone was vicious, but I was past giving a shit.
“Ahiga’s right. I just woke up from cryo.” His voice was barely a whisper now. “I left Earth two weeks after you did, meaning I went into cryo just as you were waking up. I ensured your job was set. Kitchen duty. I triple checked before I went to sleep. But the first alert I saw when I woke up was your transfer to mining this morning.”
“I wasn’t on kitchen duty.” I didn’t like sounding bitter, but I couldn’t hold it in. “Did you look at what I transferred from?”
“No…” He drew the word out and began swiping his finger in the air.
I relaxed back in my chair, crossing my arms as I waited. Declan was about to flip his lid.
“Your brother decommissioned all the bots that sprayed 320zpd on the surface around the base.”
Ahiga pulled out the chair next to me and sat. “She was out there on the surface six hours a day, and her suits kept failing. I don’t have to tell you how bad it got. I’m sure the videos are archived on the SpaceTech database.”
Declan’s face was pale as he swiped a hand across his forehead. “Jesus. I don’t think I can watch them. I don’t…” He met my gaze. “How are you alive?”
“Nanos.” My voice was heavy with every ounce of disgust I had for those parasites.
“You can’t have nanos! You’re—” He leaned closer, his face turning red. “Why didn’t you do anything to help her, Ahiga?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Ahiga’s voice was filled with freezing calmness as he slowly rose from his char and leaned over the desk. “I asked, bartered, begged, and blackmailed to try and get her switched. Nothing worked. My cover’s pretty much blown at this point. I’ve been sending you messages, but two days ago, I had enough. I sent a message to her family. This is over. She’s not suffering anymore.”
I patted Ahiga’s arm, and he looked down at me, the fire of his anger still burning in his eyes. “Ahiga did everything he could to help me. We even talked about stealing a ship and making a run for it, but—”
“How did this go so fucking wrong?” Declan put his head in his hands. “You were supposed to be washing dishes in the kitchen.” He looked up at me. “In. The. Motherfucking. Kitchen.”
“No. Your brother made sure I wasn’t washing dishes.”
“I…” He stood up so fast his chair crashed to the ground. He leaned over the desk, head hung down. When he looked up at me, his face was filled with pure rage. “I would’ve been on the same ship as you, except I needed to get your mother, Roan, and a few others who wanted to go with them to safety. If I left your mother where my brother could find her… The two weeks you were in cryo, I was racing to find a good place to stash them, get them there and then cover my tracks. I sent word to your father, and then I left. And it’s still not going to be good enough?” He stood up and started pacing back and forth.
I felt cold all over. “What do you mean not good enough? You’re not close?”
“Not close enough. I’m two days out. I can maybe speed up a little, which will put me there tomorrow in the middle of the night. I wanted to wake up with enough time to set up our exit. I…I needed time to plan so that I could sneak you out of there with no one knowing.”
The ship could only go at top speeds when its passengers were in cryo. The human body couldn’t take travel like that.
I blinked a few times as I tried to process. “You slowed down and came out of cryo early?”
“Yes.”
I swallowed. Declan couldn’t go back into cryo now. The drugs that woke him up needed more time to cycle out of his body.
This was so messed up. He was close, but not close enough to do me any good. I shook my head at him. “It doesn’t matter. I’m going on my first run in the morning.”
Declan moved off camera. I heard something shatter and I hoped it wasn’t anything important.
Ahiga looked down at me and raised a brow.
I shrugged. I knew a freak-out from Declan was coming. I patted the back of his chair, and Ahiga sat beside me to wait for the sounds of Declan smashing his room to settle down.
There were a few more crashes, and I knew I had to say something, but I wasn’t sure how to make this better.
“Declan.” His being outraged by all of this made it somewhat easier to bear. “I’ll be okay. I can do this.”
His hair was sticking out in all directions when he came back to stand in front of the screen. “You still don’t get it. You don’t understand what it means if something happens to you.”
“I understand completely. I also understand that SpaceTech is building some sort of weapon here that—”
“What?” Declan’s face grew red again, and I hoped he wasn’t going to have a heart attack with all of this.
“I was wondering if you knew about it.” Ahiga crossed his arms. “Because I can’t find dick all about any new weapon, but the experimental lab is cooking overtime.”
“Goddamned-fucking-shit-stain-of-a-brother…” Declan was muttering a string of curses as he bent down to pick up the chair he’d thrown. He placed it back in front of his desk and sat down, his fingers swiping through the air again. “I don’t… I can’t find anything either.” He sighed and closed his eyes as devastation wracked his face. “We have to get you away from there before your father steps into SpaceTech territory. He can’t make the first move.”
“I know. It’ll give SpaceTech the justification that they need to do every terrible thing they want.” I let out a breath, but my nerves weren’t calming. I needed a plan. “What do we do?”
“I don’t know. I just…” He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes for a second. When he opened them, he was staring straight at me. “I don’t know why I’m even trying anymore. It’s inevitable at this point. The Aunare are going to cream us, but I thought that if I could just convince my father that this was a bad course, that maybe we could make amends and reinstate some sort of peaceful relationship, then we could stop this war before it started.”
“It was never in your control,” Ahiga said.
“No. I guess it wasn’t.” Declan looked up and shook his head before meeting my gaze again. “My father has to know what Jason’s doing to you. I bet they’re getting a goddamned laugh out of it.” Now it was Declan’s turn to feel bitter, and I felt terrible for him.
I didn’t have it easy the last thirteen years, but at least I had my mom—a parent I could love and I knew would protect me. I wasn’t sure Declan ever had that.
“You’ve been naive to think war could be avoided,” Ahiga said. “We both knew it was coming.”
“I know. I just thought if I found her in time, then I could somehow make this right. But I’ve made it worse. Your father will never forgive me for not running with you when I had the chance. I played it safe, and this—your suffering—that’s on me.”
No. He couldn’t think that way. “This isn’t your fault. It’s Jason’s.”
“It’s also mine.” He sighed. “Okay. I’m going to come get you, and I had this plan, but now… Fuck it. We’re going to make a run for it to Sel’Ani.”
“We?” My voice sounded like it was far away and my heart started pounding in my chest. I was such an idiot. It never occurred to me that I’d be fleeing from one of the most heavily fortified SpaceTech bases with the son of its CEO.
This really might be more stupid than anything that had happened so far. This was the most nonplan plan I’d ever considered. “So we just try to outfly SpaceTech’s fleet and hope for the best? That’s it?”
“Yes.” Declan wasn’t quite looking at me as his fingers moved through the air. When he finally looked at me, his face had apologies written all over it. “Day and a half is the soonest I can get there. I can’t physically be there any faster. Unless…”
“Yes.” Ahiga stood up from his chair. �
�You have to make that call. I already sent a message to him, but I don’t know if it made it, and I wasn’t able to include very much information. Just the basics.”
“What am I missing?” I said.
A pained look crossed Declan’s face, and he pinched the bridge of his nose. “He’ll never forgive me for keeping this from him.”
“We can’t change what’s already happened,” Ahiga said. “You’re like brothers. Brothers fight and they make up. You will, too.”
There was some drama here that I didn’t understand, but maybe there was an alternative. “Can you move me to kitchen duty? And then we’ll figure out something else when you get here. Something less dangerous than running from SpaceTech in a stolen ship.”
Declan sighed. “Since Jason had you doing such a dangerous job, he’s been watching closely. He’s probably not on the base himself, but he’s aware of your every move. He could be overseeing the weapon, too. Jason is one of the few people in SpaceTech that outranks me.”
“He’s really watching?” That felt so much worse than having a crony overseeing me.
“Probably. We have to be careful.” His jaw ticced as he leaned back in his chair. “I should just take you and run like I should’ve done on Earth that very first night.”
“None of this was your fault. You can’t be held responsible for your brother’s actions.”
“No, but I can be held responsible for my idiotic lack of action.”
This was absurd. “Ahiga.” I slapped his shoulder. “Tell him it’s not his fault.”
“I actually agree with Declan.” He didn’t look sorry at all. “We should’ve run with her the second you found her.”
“I couldn’t. Albuquerque was swarming with officials. There were a million checkpoints. No one was getting through.”
“Then Lorne should’ve come.”
I gave Ahiga a shove, but it didn’t move him much. “Stop it. This is bad enough as it is.”
Ahiga shrugged at me. “I’m not the one who has PTSD.”
“I don’t have PTSD.”
“You don’t sleep because of the nightmares. You’re so stressed and scared that you upchuck the little bit that you eat—”
“The food here is disgusting!”
Ahiga gave me a sad look, and I wanted to slap it from his face.
“I don’t need your pity!”
Ahiga wrapped an arm around me and pulled me into his chest. “Stop it. You’ve been through hell, and you’re a mess because of it. You need help, and I don’t regret calling your family.” He pulled away from me and turned to Declan. “Declan needs to get that through his head. He needs to reach out.”
“I will,” Declan said. “Believe me. No one feels worse about this than I do. I will call Lorne as soon as I hang up with you, but he’ll take a few days to get here. So…”
“So nothing’s changing. You showing up. Calling Lorne. None of that changes what I have to do.” I resigned myself to what I had to do tomorrow. “I’m going on the mining run. It’s one run. After that, you’ll be here, and we’ll take off or wait for Lorne or whatever.”
Declan shook his head. “I don’t like it.”
“And you think I do?”
“No. I’m sorry.” He blew out a breath. “Ahiga?”
“I’m listening.”
“Tomorrow I want to be looped into her coms. If shit is going to go wrong, I want to know about it before it happens. Maybe I can—” Declan was silent for a second before he started typing something fast. “Lorne got your message. I’m relaying about the possible weapon.”
“When you said it was all about to come to a head two days ago in the med bay, you really meant it,” I said quietly to Ahiga.
“I rarely say things I don’t mean. I knew that Declan had to be awake soon and my message to the Aunare was going to get to someone. It was only a matter of time, and the clock had already been ticking. It’s been ticking since we landed on Abaddon.”
“All right. I have to go,” Declan said. “I need to look into this weapon, and I’ve got some calls to make. I need to see if I can hold off the Aunare army because Lorne isn’t listening to me anymore. He… And then I need to make some preparations for running. We’ll need this ship quickly refueled if we have any shot of making it to international space before… It’ll be tight, but…”
He looked at Ahiga. “If my father is keeping something this big from me, even with all of our spies, then the whole network is useless. We might have to pull all our people out of SpaceTech. I don’t know if anyone’s compromised and I won’t have time to find out today.”
Ahiga grunted. “Might be for the best. I’ll get started.”
“You’ll keep an eye on her?”
“Of course.” Ahiga stood up from the desk. “But she doesn’t need me to watch over her. Check out the videos.”
“From her suit?” Declan paled. “I can’t watch those.”
“You should because she’s a survivor. I don’t know if I could’ve lived through what she did. But there’s some from the gym, too,” Ahiga said. “Those are worth checking out for sure.”
I sent a look to Ahiga that I hope conveyed how fucked up I thought that suggestion was, and then turned to Declan. “Don’t look at any of it. I’m fine.” I spit out the word. It was a lie, but I didn’t care. “No one needs to see me almost boiling to death in those stupid suits, especially not you or my father.” I rose from my chair and placed my hands on the desk. I gave him a stare that I hope conveyed that he shouldn’t fuck with me on this.
“If you find them, delete them before you watch.” My tone was cold but didn’t care. “I kept my word. I survived. So you do this for me. You delete them.”
“You survived. It’s more than I can say for myself.” The last bit was more of a soft mutter, and I wasn’t sure he intended us to hear him. “Okay.”
“Declan—”
“Gotta run, but I’ll be with you tomorrow in your coms.”
The screen went black, and I sighed. “He’s not going to forgive himself for this.”
“Should he?”
I stared at the blank vidscreen. “Yes.” At least I thought so.
Ahiga grunted. “You’re too nice.”
I turned to stare at Ahiga. “I’ve been called a lot of things, but nice isn’t one of them.”
“Doesn’t change it from being true.” He gave my shoulder a squeeze. “Come on. Let’s get you some lunch. Then you need to finish listening to whatever training Carl has going, but I think your best bet is to move as slow as possible. Only take crystals you know are good to go. And if you don’t get a full load, who cares. You get through tomorrow, and all this will be over. No unnecessary risks.”
I nodded. “Okay. Sounds easy enough.” And that was what I was afraid of.
All those miners hadn’t died without a very good reason. I might not have to do the job for all five runs, but I had to live through at least one.
I could survive, but I had to be prepared. For everything. Even if that meant I was running through space being chased by SpaceTech’s warships. Because when we finally did run, that was very probably happening, too.
Chapter Thirty-Four
The morning took forever to come. I was haunted by a whole new type of nightmares—where I was blown up on Apollyon. Nerves had my stomach churning, and when it was finally time for me to get out of bed, breakfast didn’t sound the least bit appealing. I’d made peace with the horrible food—I would’ve starved otherwise—but today that wasn’t happening. So I decided to skip it and hoped that wasn’t a mistake.
I didn’t bother with a shower. There were too many people still in the bunks when I got up, and I just wanted to get the day over with. I dressed in a pair of leggings that Tabitha loaned me—there was no way I was wearing those shorts when I didn’t have to, even if Apollyon was hot—and one of my tank tops, and went straight down to the hangar that Carl had shown me yesterday.
It took me about ten minutes to walk th
ere. Mechanics were already yelling at each other as they scurried around, even though it was early. The clang of metal against metal filled the bay and echoed as they went about their jobs to keep ships running. Spare parts and innards of various ships spilled off tables onto the floor.
The hangar wasn’t as big as the one that held the supply ships that were coming and going from the base at all hours. The ceiling was much lower, only about 25 meters, and just barely fit the ten tiny mining ships.
I spotted 42XLV, nicknamed Araña because of the spider painted on its side, in the center of the hangar. I liked the personalization. Whoever took care of the ship clearly took pride in their work. It was a bit shinier and cleaner than the rest in the hangar.
As I approached the small vessel, I was surprised to see a familiar face. “Hey, Santiago. What’re you doing here?”
He straightened from where he was bent over an open panel in the side of the ship. Bare wires and circuits spilled from it, nearly touching the floor. “Hola, chica. Gettin’ this ready for ya. Giving her a little extra juice. Just finishing now. I’ll close her up in a sec.”
“Thanks. I didn’t realize you were a mechanic here.”
He nodded as he wiped his hands off on a rag sticking out from the pocket of his navy jumpsuit. “Was on Earth, too. That’s why I got offered this job. Figured it’d be a good fit and way better than twiddling my time away in a cell. That would crush my soul, you know?” He frowned at me. “You going out there scares the shit out of me, so I wanted to make sure you had the best. Skipped breakfast and everything.”
I was touched. For Santiago, that was quite the sacrifice. Skipping wasn’t just about the food, but it was about missing time with other people. He wasn’t happy unless he was holding court somewhere. Even on Abaddon. “Appreciate having your help. I hope this ship will do better than she looks right now.” I motioned to the wires and parts on the deck. “She seemed to turn on fine yesterday during training.” And I wasn’t sure that was true anymore.
He grinned. “Oh hell yeah. Got a couple other good ships, but this one is the best of the bunch. She’ll run, but I was trying to give you a little more power. Maybe if you had some extra oomph, it might make a difference if…” He trailed off as his ever-present grin slid from his face. “Look, Maité.” His voice had lost all its humor. I’d never seen him so serious. “I’m just hoping you being what you are, you’ll be quicker to react to whatever goes wrong up there. And if the ship is quicker, too, maybe that will make the difference you need to stay alive.”