by Aileen Erin
Me being what I was? How in the hell did he know? “Excuse me?”
He stepped closer, saying the words just loud enough for me to hear them over the other mechanics working away. “No twelve-year-old can beat a grown man without being something special.”
My mouth dropped open, but I wasn’t sure what to say. I couldn’t believe that he knew about me and never turned me in. I knew that the Crew had my back, but I didn’t realize how much they watched out for me. “You really knew? You all knew?”
“Nah. Not all of us knew. Some of the people in the Crew are dumbasses. Can’t put two and two together, but a good number of us figured it out. Not that Jorge would confirm.” He looked away and pulled out the rag from his pocket, busying himself with wiping his hands again. “Don’t you think it’s kind of messed up that what you’re mining will be used against you?”
“They’ve got more than enough to fuel their war, so a little more isn’t going to make that much of a difference. What choice do I have?” Hopefully, I’d only have to do this one time.
He shoved the rag back into his pocket and met my gaze. “It’s just messed up. This whole fuckin’ place is messed up. I hear things. Made friends with Matthew while working down here. The shit he’s found out—it ain’t right.”
“I know.” But there wasn’t anything I could do about it. At least not right at this moment.
I stepped inside the ship. It only had one seat—for the pilot. No copilot. Behind the controls was an empty cavern. Big enough for three speeders. Instead, there was a pile of round containers that were all collapsed to look like a pile of plates, but Carl told me that each of those would need to be filled before I came back or else it wouldn’t count as a full run. Apparently, only full runs counted toward the five required to get out of here.
That wouldn’t apply to me, but he didn’t need to know that.
I glanced over the control panel, and then looked back at Santiago. “I went over the ship yesterday, but you’re the mechanic and my friend. What do I need to know? Any quirks?”
He gave me a long look—uncharacteristically sober for Santiago—and turned to the ship. My mouth grew dry. I’d known that this was dangerous, but seeing Santiago scared made it so much worse.
Santiago was thorough in what he told me for the next twenty minutes. How one switch was faulty—to make sure that the light above it turned on, otherwise try it again until it lit. He would almost caress the ship as he talked, and I realized that this was the first time I’d seen him in his element. It wasn’t while he was joking or talking to people. That was a side of him for sure, but this—the mechanic—that was a big part of him that I’d never known about.
I noticed a tremor in Santiago’ voice as he talked and wondered if he was just as nervous as I was, which made my palms start sweating.
He’d been here for longer, knew what I was up against, and most importantly, he knew me.
“So here. Usually, you want to hit this.” He pointed to a green button. “But don’t. Unless you’ve got this one lit up.” He pointed to a square box with a switch under it. “Flip this, box lights up, you’re good to go.” He gave me a big smile, but it wasn’t his real smile. He was faking it, and that sucked a little bit of hope from me.
“Whatever you do, don’t hit the green before you do that. That shit is crazy. It’ll eat up the fuel too quick and stall out. You’ll be floating dead in space.” He paused, solemn as he met my gaze. “Don’t forget.” His words were deadly serious. “Please, don’t forget.”
“I won’t.” I’d been listening to everything he’d said. I wasn’t going to forget it.
“Good. You’ll be fine then.” He smiled, but his look had a twinge of sadness that went against his words. The whole conversation, that look had come again and again. Each time, I felt more and more sure that he didn’t think I would come back alive.
That scared me more than anyone else’s warning.
By the time he was done, I felt like I was going to be sick.
He patted my shoulder. “Survivors Together. I don’t want to tell Jorge you died on my watch, in one of my ships.”
“Survivors Together.” I was hoping for the same thing. “I’ll do my best.”
He looked like he was about to say something else, but stopped as Ahiga came in. “Hey. I’ve got this for you.” He held out two wrapped packages.
I peeked into the first, but Ahiga glanced at Santiago.
Right. Don’t be obvious about it. I looked in the second. “Food? You knew I skipped breakfast?”
“I waited for you,” Ahiga said. “When you didn’t show, I figured you were here instead.”
I stepped farther into the ship, and Ahiga followed me, blocking Santiago’s view of me. I quickly opened the smaller package, taking out the small earbud, tapping it on as soon as it was in place.
Ahiga stepped aside, and Santiago looked at the biscuit in my hand. “What? You didn’t bring one for me?”
“Knew you probably had food squirreled away here.”
“Who wouldn’t?”
“Are they on? You hear me okay?” Declan asked in my ear.
“Yes.” I ignored the look Santiago sent my way. “Thank you,” I said to Ahiga and took a bite of the biscuit.
“Good,” Declan said. “I didn’t want anyone overhearing us, so I didn’t go through the ship coms, but I can see you from their cams.”
I hated being watched all the time. I searched around for cameras, but I couldn’t see any inside the ship.
“Keep in mind that they’ll still hear your end, so be careful what you say.”
I started to answer, and turned it into an “Mmm, tasty.”
“Good. That’s probably best. I have a feeling my brother might be listening, too.”
I wouldn’t doubt it.
Carl stepped through the door. “What is this? A party? Everyone out but Maité.”
Ahiga spared Carl a little glance. “Just wishing her luck.” He gave me a nod and left.
“I’ll have her ready to go in five,” Santiago said. “Just got to get that panel closed up.”
“Good,” Carl said, dismissing Santiago. “You ready, kid?”
“As ready as I can be.” I took a breath. “When do I leave?”
“As soon as Santiago gives you the thumbs-up.”
Even though I had no food in my stomach except for a single bite of tasteless biscuit, I was pretty sure I was going to barf. “Okay.” I wiped the cold sweat from my forehead.
He patted the pilot’s chair. “Get comfortable. I’ll let you know when you’re cleared.”
“Thanks.”
Carl stepped out of the ship, closing the door behind him, and the sounds of the launch bay cut off. My heart fluttered in my chest as I sat down in the chair. The vinyl was ripped and patched together, but it was comfortable enough. The faint stench of sweat had seeped into the material, but I didn’t care. All I wanted was to make it through the day alive.
I closed my eyes. Please, let me make it through today alive.
Six in. Three out. Three in. Six out. Four in.
I wasn’t sure what was going to happen on the moon, but I was scared—terrified—of making a wrong move, especially when I was so close to getting away from here.
I glanced back at the stack of flattened containers. Ten of them. Each one would hold ten pounds of crystal.
I couldn’t just sit there waiting, so I decided to check over all the equipment. I’d already done that with Santiago, but it couldn’t hurt to take another look.
“How’re you doing?” Declan’s voice startled me. “Your vitals are a little off the charts.”
I laughed to keep myself from crying. “If only someone could lie to me and tell me I can get through this…” I muttered softly. I bent down and counted the containers. Ten. It didn’t seem like a lot, but I knew it was going to be much harder than I thought.
“I don’t need to lie. You’re going to be fine. Soon you’ll be back with your
mom, Roan, and Jorge. In a few months, Abaddon and everything that happened there will all feel like ancient history.”
My bottom lip trembled, and I pressed them together. I couldn’t stop the sniffle though, or the way my eyes burned when I thought of getting to see my mom again. And I really couldn’t stop the way my heart ached when I realized how farfetched and stupid it was for me to really believe I’d get to see her again.
There were so many things that could go wrong. I’d already lost count of how many times I’d almost died on Abaddon, and there were so many more deaths I could die between here and there. I couldn’t—
“Breathe. Six in. Three out. Come on. I can’t hear you. Six in. Three out.”
I stood up and leaned against the wall of the ship. My exhale was shaky, but there.
“Good. Come on. Keep breathing. Three in. There you go. Six out. You’ll be okay. I promise. This didn’t go how I intended. I hate—hate—what’s happened. And before you ask, yes, I saw the vids from your suit.”
I gasped. No. I didn’t want anyone to see that. I’d been in pain and weak and defeated. Those vids needed to be deleted. It made me sick with anger that they even existed. When I got away from here, I wanted to shove everything that happened on Abaddon into a deep, dark room in my mind, lock the door, and forget about it. I couldn’t do that if everyone knew. If they saw. If they looked at me with pity.
“I sent them to your father. I know that’s not what you want to hear, and maybe I shouldn’t have looked, but once I saw—”
I dropped my head down. “Privacy,” I whispered fiercely.
“What are you talking about kid?” Carl said in my ear.
“Nothing. Ignore me. I’m just muttering to myself.”
“All right. Just a few more minutes,” Carl said.
I rubbed my shaking hands through my hair. It was still a little crispy, but I wasn’t cutting it. I wouldn’t let SpaceTech take one more thing from me.
“I have a lot to apologize to you for, but not this,” Declan said. “I hear you on the privacy thing, but he deserves the choice to see the vids. If you think that you have something to be embarrassed about, let me tell you that you don’t. What I saw… Your strength. Determination.”
“Fear,” I whispered the word, not wanting Carl to hear it, but I didn’t care.
“Yes. You were afraid and vulnerable. I saw that, too. But you never gave up. You kept putting on that suit, facing it over and over. I don’t know how you did it.”
I didn’t want to think about that. Not ever again. I checked the basket of supplies. Three pickaxe-hammer tools. A scale. A purple marker.
“And when you were teaching, you were talking to your students about more than just fighting technique. You gave them life lessons, hope, a way to make things better.” The line hissed as he let out a long sigh. “I feel like you did more on that base in twelve days than I’ve done in my career at SpaceTech. You showed who you are, Amihanna.”
I hissed when he said my name.
“I know you don’t feel comfortable with your real name, but you will. This is the last day of Maité Martinez. Once this is over, you’re Amihanna di Aetes, and I won’t let you down again. I swear it on my life. I’m here for you, Ami. We’re here for you, but please, stay safe. We need you to be okay.”
We? My hands shook as I kept looking at the supplies. I wasn’t okay, but hopefully I would be.
Five tubes of water. Three electrolyte packets. Seven energy bars.
“All right, kid,” Carl’s voice sounded through the ship’s com and my wrist unit.
I swallowed.
“Santiago is all done, and the hangar has been cleared. You’re good to go for the next ten. Better get a move on.”
I blew out a breath as I sat down in the pilot chair, pressing the button for the safety straps. Not that they would do any good if the whole ship blew up, but they made me feel safer.
My hands were shaking and sweating. I wiped them off on my pants and tried my best to push the fear far enough away to give me room to think—to breathe.
“Powering up now.” I pushed the sequence of buttons, and the tiny ship started to vibrate as the engine warmed.
“You take it easy out there, kid,” Carl said. “I’m here if you have any questions. We’ll be monitoring from the base.”
I wondered who the “we” meant, but Declan chimed in. “Carl, Ahiga, and a couple others who are working for my brother. There are a few people in the control room, and I hear they’re taking bets.”
Probably there to watch me blow myself up. Assholes.
“Don’t worry about the control room. Yes, they’ll be watching, but who the fuck cares what they think. I know that wounds your di Aetes pride, but let it go. Laugh it off. Stay focused, Ami.”
I grinned and hoped it looked confident even though it was one hundred percent fake. “Well, hopefully I don’t give all of you too much of a show today.” If Jason was listening in, I couldn’t let him see my fear. I wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. No matter how terrified I actually was. “And if there’s betting going on, I want in.”
Engaging the thrusters, I felt the ship rise, and I started turning it around. For better or worse, in a few minutes, I’d be out there, flying a ship in space for the first time. It wasn’t how I ever thought it’d be. I wasn’t fleeing Earth. I hadn’t bought this vessel. But I was still about to leave a planet flying my own ship. And that was at least one thing I could cross off my bucket list.
“What’re you waiting for? Go!” Carl yelled through the com.
I didn’t need to be told twice and gunned it out of the bay. As I rose above Abaddon’s sulfuric ashes, the ship shuddered. I lifted up out of my chair for a split second before antigrav kicked in, slamming me back down on the cracked vinyl seat.
It wasn’t a long ride to the moon. Only about fifteen minutes, but as I flew there, I realized this might be the last thing I’d ever do. Throwing the ship into a series of loops and twists, I couldn’t help but laugh.
“What the hell are you doing?” Carl yelled. “Your ship’s going to fall apart before you get there!”
“If I die today, at least I had some fun.” I tried to play it off as a joke, but my tone was wobbly at best.
“Shit, kid.” Carl’s sigh came through the tinny-sounding speakers. “Don’t let me stop you.”
I wasn’t in the habit of letting anyone stop me. My mother always said that was the di Aetes side showing through, but maybe that was just all Amihanna. “Almost there.” Apollyon was getting bigger by the second, and I was surprised that it looked more like Earth than I’d thought. I could see patches of green and brown surrounded by oceans of blue. “It’s pretty.”
“Yeah,” Carl said. “Reminds me of home.”
Declan snorted. “Except it’s much smaller. Not enough oxygen for breathing. Has a shit-ton of carnivorous plants. No real animal predators, but a ton of varmints. But the mines have been cleared of any life forms. You’ll have nothing to worry about except the crystals themselves.”
“Right.”
I slowed down as I approached the thin atmosphere, turning my ship slightly to put less strain on it, then flipped on the autopilot for landing. I could do it myself, but I wanted to be sure I ended up in the right spot since there were multiple mines. Going to one that had already been deemed tapped out wasn’t going to help me at all, and the ship’s nav systems had the exact spot keyed in where the last miner…
I couldn’t think about that. Not right then. “Touchdown in ten seconds.”
“Copy that.”
The ship strained as it hit the ground. I unclipped my safety harness and moved to the back.
I didn’t need a suit—the temperature was just over a hundred degrees—but there was too much nitrogen in the air and not enough oxygen. A mask would filter the air so that the mix was just right for my lungs. The transparent polymer dome fit over my whole face like a mask, giving me 180 degrees of viewing. I pressed the button
at the top, and it suctioned onto my face almost painfully, but I’d rather have it too tight than too loose.
I closed my eyes and said a prayer. I wasn’t sure anyone was listening. After everything that’d happened, I was pretty sure that any gods I prayed to actively hated me, but I wasn’t beyond begging. I needed help if I was going to get through this. “Okay. Grabbing my first container and heading out there.”
“Godspeed,” Carl said.
I picked up one of the plates and shook it out, expanding it, before opening the door.
The ship had parked itself right on the topmost ridge of the surface mine. The grooves of the mine seemed to spiral so deep into the ground that I wasn’t quite sure where it ended, but I could see the glittering black ore jutting out from the walls. Drones flew all around the mine, monitoring it—and now me—from a million different angles.
“Don’t let the containers get too heavy before you carry them back to the ship.”
“Will do.” It’d give me time to breathe while playing this epic game of Russian roulette. I clipped the carrying strap around the handles of the container and hooked it around my waist.
My legs felt like gelatin as I stepped onto the surface and I felt like this couldn’t be real. But it was. This was my life, and I’d get through this. “Wish me luck.”
“Luck,” Declan said, echoed by Carl.
I said one more prayer then, with grim determination and a healthy dose of Aunare stubbornness, I headed to the mine.
Chapter Thirty-Five
I grabbed the rock in front of me, holding it with one hand, and tapped it softly with the tiny hammer end of my tool. The tone that came from it was loud and low enough to rattle my teeth.