by Aileen Erin
“And?” He was waiting, patiently watching and observing, but I couldn’t get a read from him. I wasn’t sure what he thought of me or if he even thought anything. Maybe he was only here to take me home as a favor to my father. It was silly to assume he felt anything for me at all.
This was stupid. I was attracted to the guy, but that didn’t have to mean anything. And I didn’t have to become a moron because of it. I should be able to have a rational conversation with him. “Isn’t a fountain a waste of space?”
“For a human maybe, but we have a different idea on what’s wasteful and what’s not.”
Focusing on his words was helping me get myself together. “So this is a luxury ship, not one for battle or war?”
“It has some weapons, but mostly defensive. The ship is small and was built for speed and stealth, which is why I chose it.” He reached a hand to me, and I let him pull me to my feet before quickly stepping away.
“Is that medicated?” I leaned against the wall to keep from falling over as I motioned to the fountain. “Is that why it makes me feel calm?”
“It’s not medicated, but it makes you feel calm?” He tilted his head to the side as he stared at me.
I wasn’t answering that. No matter how pretty Lorne was, I wasn’t about to give him that much insight into myself. Not when I felt laid bare with every look he gave me and every word he spoke.
So I stayed silent, staring into his dark blue-green eyes. The more I stared, the more I realized the depth of the color. They were hypnotizing.
“To say that this particular vessel is the norm for Aunare would be a lie,” he continued when I stayed silent. “It’s quite nice, but there’s not a single Aunare craft that doesn’t have natural elements in them. A recovery room without flowing water would be…” He paused. “Healing is two-fold. Body and spirit. We don’t like to ignore the spirit, especially when hurt.”
“Okay.” So it was medicated?
“How are you feeling?”
Better than I had been in a while, which wasn’t saying much. “Fine.” Admitting more than that made me feel exposed. “How long was I out?”
“About four hours.”
That was longer than I’d thought. “So where are we?”
“Hiding on the far side of Apollyon.”
I wanted to be much farther away than that. I never wanted to be in SpaceTech’s grasp ever again. Now that I was away, I didn’t think I could survive it. “Are we safe?”
“For now. SpaceTech is, as of yet, unaware that I showed up to take you home. But testing the crystals with their methods caused some bleeds on your brain, and I couldn’t risk making a jump through space before healing you at least a little bit.”
“Am I okay?” A bleed on my brain sounded really, really bad.
“You need more healing, but you’re stable for now.”
“You’re sure?” The woozy feeling hadn’t passed like I wanted.
He pressed his lips together as he thought about it, and my throat went dry. There was something wrong with me.
“I can’t lie. It was severe, and I think the pod only took the edge off.”
I swallowed.
“I’m worried about how you’ll do with jumps through space. I’m coordinating to meet your father somewhere in the middle, so hopefully we won’t need very many, and once we’re on his ship, a few hours in its better healing pod should set you straight, but you’ll need to take it easy until we get there. You should sleep some more if you can.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to sleep. Not until we’re gone.”
“You’re perfectly safe right now. Are you sure you can’t sleep more?”
“I’m sure.” I needed to be far away from SpaceTech. Maybe then I wouldn’t have any more nightmares.
There was an awkward silence, and I wasn’t sure what to say. Lorne’s intense stare made me nervous. I looked down at myself. My leggings were torn in a couple places. Every inch of me was covered in dirt and sweat, and more than a few places were bloody. Maybe that was why I was feeling defensive?
“So, what’s the plan?”
He sighed as if he were giving up on trying to convince me to go to sleep. “We’re staying put for now. I want to run another test on you before we start traveling and send the results to our doctors. It’s not the end of the world if we can’t jump. SpaceTech doesn’t know we’re here, so if we can’t we’ll go the slow route. I’d rather get home quickly though. It gives us less chance of getting into trouble. Before I run tests, do you want to clean up and have some food?”
My stomach tightened at the mention of eating. “I guess I’m hungry, but a shower sounds amazing. Or whatever it is you have here.”
He gave me a small nod and motioned me to follow him. “This way.”
I moved after him on unsteady legs. The hallways were curved, something that wasn’t normal in a SpaceTech ship. Everything the company did was boxy. Square. Cold, hard lines. All function and no form. But this was so different. Everything was so different. I wasn’t sure what to think or how to feel, but I was unsettled.
My skin had a faint glow, but Lorne’s skin had the same hint to it. I knew I didn’t have to worry about that—not anymore—but I still did. I couldn’t shut down the worries that had been ingrained in me over years and years.
And as I followed Lorne, I realized that I had a whole new world of worries to think about.
What was I going to do on Sel’Ani? Would the Aunare accept a halfer easier than Earthers? Was I going to be hated there? And what about Ahiga? Santiago? Audrey and Tyler?
What about the weapon SpaceTech was building on Abaddon?
What about the war?
One worry piled onto the next until I was glowing brightly.
Lorne paused in front of a door. “Are you okay?”
I swallowed. “I don’t know.”
“Whatever you’ve been through, you’ll need time. Give yourself that time.”
I wasn’t sure I had time, but I hated that I was so easily read. “I guess it’s obvious.” I motioned to myself.
“It’s not about the glow although, yes, I have eyes.” He ducked his head to keep my gaze when I tried to look away. “I can see something’s upsetting you, but I don’t know what it is or what you feel unless you tell me.”
He was quiet, and I knew he was leaving it up to me to let him in, but there was no chance of that. Not when I had so many unanswered questions brewing inside me.
“Later then.” Lorne pressed his hand to the center of the door, and it slid open soundlessly. “Only one sleeping quarters. The bathroom is through here.”
A large, thick mattress was fitted into the floor. Much bigger than my twin back in my apartment and dwarfing the bunk in the women’s quarters. White and cream pillows covered one end, and a thick duvet was folded down, almost inviting me in. The sheets were a little wrinkled, and I wondered if Lorne had slept on top of the covers with the blanket on his way here.
Little pops of color filled the room. A few green and brown pillows on the bed and on the chair beside it. A blue-and-green woven blanket was thrown across the foot of the bed. Green ivy crawled up one wall, and I wondered how they managed to keep it alive on a ship.
The bathroom beyond was so lovely, I almost felt bad about taking a shower in it. I was going to get everything dirty.
Lorne fussed inside the bathroom, placing a fluffy towel on the rail beside the shower. “Soaps are in here. The scents are those I favor so they might not be to your liking, but…” He trailed off as if waiting for me to confirm or deny about what scents I liked, but I couldn’t see how that would matter. Any soap was fine.
“Clothes are here,” he said when I stayed silent. “Some are mine, but some are spares I had here. You’re so thin that…” He went to the closet, pulling out a sweater. “Don’t want you to get cold. The clothes might not suit your tastes, but once we’re on Sel’Ani, we can get that sorted.”
I wanted to laugh, but he was se
rious. This was all nicer than anything I’d ever had before. Judging from the way he was busying himself around the room, I could’ve sworn he was nervous about it.
“This is amazing. Thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me.” He frowned and I almost thought he might’ve been insulted.
I let out a breath. I was messing this up. “I think I do. I’m not sure I’d have made it out of there—”
“Don’t. Please.” His glow brightened.
I wasn’t sure if he was mad at me. “I’m sor—”
He closed his eyes and the glow faded. When he opened his eyes, I was surprised to see the anger still there. “I’m furious, but not with you. Never with you.” He motioned to the door. “I’m going to go check on things. I’ll be back in a few.”
Lorne left so quickly—before I could even say thank you again—that I wondered if he’d been lying. If some part of him was mad at me. And if he was mad, I wasn’t sure how to fix it or if he’d even be around long enough that I should try to fix it.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
The shower was warm and amazing. The only thing that got me to leave it was knowing that there probably wasn’t an unlimited supply of water on a ship. The soap smelled earthy and a little smoky. It wasn’t what I would’ve chosen for myself, but it was nice and left my skin feeling silky, despite the few spots of calluses, and if I wasn’t mistaken, my hair felt less crunchy. I wasn’t sure if that was the healing pod or Lorne’s conditioner, but either way I’d take it. I sighed as I dried off. Even the towel smelled good.
I’d thought the shower at the spaceport had been nice, but this one was amazing.
A knock sounded at the door. “Ami?”
“One second.” I quickly pulled on the clothes. The pants were too long, but I rolled the waist to take up the extra room. The sweater was also too big to be anything other than his, but it was so soft I wanted to live in it. I lifted it and took a big breath in.
Lorne. It smelled like his soap, only better.
When I opened the door, Lorne was leaning against the wall. He stood straight and gave me a nod. “Okay. This way. I don’t have much on board, but it’s better than nothing.”
I smiled at him, trying to ease whatever nerves he was feeling. As we left the room, I thought of the slimy green mystery food on Earth. “It can’t be worse than prison food.”
He stopped walking. “Prison?”
I swallowed. I’d meant to lighten the mood, but that had been a dumb thing to bring up. “Um. Yeah. I mean, I didn’t really do anything to…” I wanted to play up the fact that I was technically a convict as something funny, but from the look of complete horror on Lorne’s face, there was no way he’d ever think it was a joke. “Declan didn’t tell you?”
His jaw ticced once. Twice. And a third time before he spoke. “No. No, he’s been completely evasive when giving information about you. I got the one phone call with you on Earth, and that was it. The next thing I received was Ahiga’s message.” He pressed his hand against another door, and it slid open. Inside was the kitchen. There were some cabinets and a storage locker that had to hold food. A small round table with four chairs took up the middle of the room.
Lorne pulled out a chair. “Sit.” His word was clipped.
I quickly sat before I could upset him any more than I already had. He’d come here—risked everything—for me, and now he was pissed. I knew I’d messed this up, but I couldn’t unsay it. I couldn’t change the past. No matter how much I wished prison and Abaddon had never happened, it had. That’s why we were both here.
Lorne grabbed a glass bottle from one cabinet. “Water.”
The glass was cool in my hand. “Thank you.” I wanted to say something else, but he spun back and started messing with some of the cabinets.
I wasn’t sure how he did it, but a moment later there was a miniature roasted chicken—although it could’ve been some other Aunare bird—and what looked like roasted potatoes, along with some purple and red leafy vegetable I’d never seen before. He opened another cabinet and twisted off a chunk of bread.
“This okay?” He asked as he looked back at the kitchen as if wondering what else he could fix me. “I didn’t ask if you liked meat, and I could—”
“Please. This is perfect.” Roasted chicken was my favorite, and this looked close enough. I stared down at it for a second, twisting the plate while I stalled. “Perfect, but…” I met his anger-filled gaze. “I did something wrong, didn’t I?”
“No.” He closed his eyes for a second, taking a breath. When he opened his eyes again, his perfectly cool, calm mask was in place. “No. You’ve done nothing wrong.”
I couldn’t look at him anymore. He was lying. He said he wasn’t mad, but when I looked at him, all I saw was anger still burning in his eyes. I stared at the food in front of me, and suddenly I wasn’t sure if I could eat it.
“I’m not mad at you, but I am mad. I’m trying to deal with it, horribly if you think this is your fault.” He sat across from me and pushed a napkin wrapped around a fork and knife to me. “Please eat. I know you’re hungry.”
I took the fork in my hand. “Okay, but if I’m eating, you need to tell me why you’re mad. It’s making me uncomfortable. I can’t eat when I’m nervous.”
He smiled at me, but it wasn’t a real smile. It didn’t light up his face because the anger was still there, but he was trying to put me at ease. He waited as I picked up the fork, nodding when I hesitated. “Please.”
“You first.”
His smile slowly faded, and I wanted it back. Even if it had been tinged with anger, it was still lovely.
“After our call on Earth, Declan left a message saying again that you were fine and he was leaving for Sel’Ani with you the next day. I could get there fast, but not the next day. I was on the other side of the galaxy. So it was silly for me to go to Earth, no matter how hard it was to stay away. To not be doing something to get you home.” He paused and leaned back in his chair.
I tried to think of it from his point of view. I hated when I couldn’t fix something. It seemed like he and I had some things in common.
“Please eat.”
“I will. Keep going.”
“Another message came the next day saying that there were some delays, a couple weeks at most. He had to take a roundabout way to get you back. Jason was causing trouble, but everything was fine. Not to worry. So I waited, but more than a couple weeks passed, and I was getting nervous, but then we got word that your mom and some friends were nearby, in the Naustlic System. I hadn’t heard back from Declan, so instead of trying to track you down on Earth when there was no guarantee you were still there, I went with Rysden to get them. I thought you were okay with Declan and that your mother would know where you were. I didn’t understand why he’d split you up, but I trusted him to make the right call.”
My mom. I had to know. “Did you—”
“Your mom and friends are safe with your father.”
I hunched over with relief. My mother was okay. Safe. That was huge.
“I was with your father in the Naustlic System, about to pick them up, when I got another message. One from Ahiga. It didn’t give much away, except your location. There was no good reason for you to be on Abaddon.” His glow started again, and he gave a long sigh. “I got in my ship—it’s faster than your father’s fleet—with your father following shortly after. I planned to get as close as I could to Abaddon, contact Ahiga, and assess how much force to use when taking you back home. But when I was making my last jump, Declan finally called me. Only it was to tell me that you were there mining on Apollyon and very, very sick. I don’t understand at all what happened, and he won’t tell me.” He leaned forward. “Why were you mining?”
I didn’t want to break Declan’s trust or cause any more problems, but I also didn’t understand the secrecy. I wasn’t sure how to answer Lorne without getting into the whole nasty story. “None of that matters anymore.” It wasn’t a lie. I w
as alive and safe. Hopefully, soon I’d be far away from SpaceTech.
His lips pressed tightly together as he watched me. After a long moment, he shook his head. “You’re wrong. It matters very much to me.” He tapped the fork. “Will you eat now?”
“Okay.” I took it and stabbed a bite of meat. I still wasn’t sure if it was chicken, but it tasted like it. I moaned at the perfectly spiced, tender bite, and Lorne grinned. This time it was a real one. It transformed his face from handsome to devastating.
“Good?” Lorne asked.
He had to be joking. “This might be the best thing I’ve had in a long time. Like since—”
“Prison?”
I took another bite before speaking. “Thankfully, I wasn’t in prison for long, but the food on Abaddon wasn’t much better.” I wanted to leave it at that, but something about the look in his eyes told me that he wasn’t going to let this go.
I took a few more bites to see if he’d say something else, but he didn’t. Distraction was my only option. “There are a few things you should know before we decide to do anything else.”
“I’m listening.”
I let out a long breath. “There are seven storage bays on Abaddon. They were filled to the brim with lucole up until the week before I got there, and ever since I’ve been on base SpaceTech has been emptying them as quickly as they could. There’s been an endless stream of ships showing up, only to turn right back around again. The shipments go to different colony planets for storage. And I’m not talking a container or two. It’s been hundreds of thousands of tons of unprocessed lucole. They used to do all the processing there, but they stopped a few months ago. Carl—the guy who trained me to mine—said there was enough lucole to last SpaceTech for a couple centuries, even factoring in rapid expansion.”
Lorne leaned back in his chair as my words sank in. “What are they doing with all of that lucole?”
“You mean beyond powering their cities, fueling their ships, and using it for weapons? I don’t know. But I think they were planning to have the base emptied by the time any Aunare showed up to take me.” I took another bite. “They’re building some sort of new top secret weapon with it, too. Most of the lucole left on the base right now is earmarked for the lab. Matt—the guy in charge of inventory—wouldn’t tell Ahiga much, but he did say that whatever the weapon was, it would be enough to take down the Aunare.”