by Aileen Erin
I took a small step toward him. “What do they mean?” I asked, hoping to distract him.
Lorne turned to me slowly. “What does what mean?” he asked a little too softly.
“The glow? The tattoos? What do they mean? Why do you glow?”
He squeezed his eyes shut and hung his head low. “My heart breaks that you have to ask.”
It was humiliating, but it was more important that I knew. “I know I’m ignorant, and I can’t stay that way, so I have to ask. If my mom knew anything about it, she didn’t tell me, and I couldn’t trust any information that I found.”
“Of course you have to know, and when we have a moment it would be my honor to explain what it means, how it’s used, and why. Right now, I seem to be having a hard time controlling myself when I should be old enough to…”
“I’m sor—”
His eyes opened, and he gave me a sharp look that had me backing away. “Don’t you dare apologize for something that was not your doing. You are a di Aetes. Don’t apologize. Ever.”
Declan cleared his throat. “As much as I hate to interrupt, we need to make a decision,” he said. “I know that you’re mad at me, Lorne, but we’ll deal with that later. Right now, we’re running out of time.”
He was probably right, and I wanted to get the hell away from Jason, but I couldn’t leave. Not yet. “Audrey. She’s a halfer. She helped me through all the nanos sessions. If Jason watched me while I was with her, then he knows about her. And if Ahiga can’t find her, then she’s in trouble. I can’t leave her to die.”
Lorne’s glow dimmed just a little bit, and he let go of the desk to cross his arms. They started talking in English, but I wasn’t listening. Everything went quiet in my head.
I had an idea. A stupid, crazy idea.
It would take SpaceTech down a notch and get Audrey, Tyler, and Ahiga back.
I was vaguely aware that the guys had stopped talking and were watching me, but I was working through the details quickly in my head. It was going to be a massive risk. For me. For Declan and Lorne. For the Aunare. But if I could at least do this…
“Did you mean what you said?” I asked, still staring off at nothing.
“Who are you asking?” Declan asked.
I blinked to free myself from my thoughts and turned to Lorne. “Did you mean it? What you said?”
A small crease formed between his eyes, but he nodded anyway. “I would never lie to you, but I don’t know what you mean.”
“About the war. About it being inevitable.” I had to know before we did anything that could make the situation between Aunare and SpaceTech worse than it already was.
Lorne straightened from the desk. His skin dulled a little more. “Yes. I wanted to go find you on Earth myself. I thought waiting to find you was stupid. The day they slaughtered tens of thousands of Aunare, all diplomatic relations should’ve ended. The war is coming and—”
My hands shook, and I clasped them together to hide my fear, but Lorne glanced down at them.
Damn it. Lorne knew. How could he read me like that?
It didn’t matter. I realized what I needed to do. “I have a plan, but it means that the war isn’t just starting soon. If this goes badly, I might start it right now.”
There was a bell. Two sharp tolls. Lorne pressed his hand on the desk behind him, and the screen split. Another man appeared. One I recognized.
I didn’t know what to do or say, so I stood there, rigidly holding my breath as I tried to figure out what to say to him.
Every thought I had slipped through my fingers as I stared at my father. A man I was supposed to know but didn’t. He was looking at me with all of his expectations racing across his face, and I was left with nothing but empty space in my mind for a moment. I hadn’t expected this to be the first time I’d talk to him, and I was pretty sure that he wasn’t going to like my plan.
Chapter Forty
“Rysden,” Lorne said, but my father didn’t acknowledge him. Lorne said something else in Aunare, but my father shook his head.
“Amihanna.” My father stood tall, but his eyes glittered with the shine of unshed tears. “It is so…” His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “It is so good to finally see you.”
I’d seen clips of him on the news before, talking to different leaders in the galaxy and meeting with SpaceTech officials. But seeing him in front of me…
I wasn’t sure what to feel. I was supposed to call him Dad or Father, but those names didn’t feel right. He was a stranger, and seeing him only made me miss my mother that much more. She’d know what to do. What I should say. She would help me through this.
My mother was supposed to be here when I met my father. I never thought I’d be doing this alone.
After a moment, “Hi,” was all I managed to say.
Lorne cleared his throat. “I’m sorry for leaving so quickly, but—”
“Declan sent me the videos.” My father’s eyes were on me. “I don’t know—”
I let out a hiss and turned to Declan. “I told you to delete the ones you’d already found when we talked in the IAF meeting room, and instead you go looking for more, and then shared them with more people!”
“Yes. I ignored what you wanted and sent them to your father. You don’t have anything to be ashamed about. We might need to use them to—”
“Like hell we’ll need them. No one needs them. No one needs to see me like that. Delete them.” I hated the burning in my eyes. I wouldn’t cry. Not here. Not now.
And then a new horror cooled my heated skin. “You didn’t show him the footage from the diner, did you?”
Declan’s silence said everything.
I couldn’t look at him. At any of them. I turned away. My skin was glowing out of control—brighter than Lorne’s—and I wanted to hide. I wanted to be alone. I wanted none of this to ever have happened.
“Amihanna, please. I had to know. I’m your father. I…” He sighed, and I was tempted to turn around, but I couldn’t. “I’m on my way with Teams Four and Seven, plus my own personal fleet. We’re about three hours out. Less if you’re ready to start jumping back this way.”
What? I spun to face the screen. “You can’t come here. You can’t—” I started to say, but his gaze turned to fire.
“Yes, I can. I’ve dealt with SpaceTech for years after they brutally slaughtered so many Aunare. There were many reasons we didn’t immediately crush them, but one reason—a very personal reason—was you and your mother. Your mother and some friends of yours are here with me now, but you are not. I’ve watched you tortured because you’re my daughter and I will not stop until I have you safely at home.”
My mother. He had Mom. The relief I felt was thick and heavy. “She’s okay?”
He gave me a small smile. “She’s worried about you, but fine.”
I wanted to see her so badly. I closed my eyes, letting it sink in that she was really okay. Safe. With my father like she always wanted.
And still, I had a question. “She didn’t—”
“No,” he said quickly, cutting off my question before I could even ask it. “Declan advised me not to watch them, that no one should see them—as you requested—but I had to know the full story.” He held his closed fist over his heart. “You were only a child when I left, and I wanted to see you.” His voice broke, and he took a breath. “I wanted to know you, even if it was only the horrible parts. And watching the recordings—watching you in pain and tortured—only to pick yourself up, head held high, and do it all again—”
I gave a bitter laugh and looked away. He was making me sound admirable. I was anything but that. “I don’t think my head was very high. Especially today.” On that moon, I’d been so done. I wasn’t sure I could’ve kept going if it weren’t for Declan’s calm, soothing voice in my ear.
“I don’t know everything that you’ve gone through, but—” He paused for a moment. “One friend is quite vocal about getting you back. He’s sent yet another message to me ab
out how he needs an ETA.”
“Roan.” Only Roan would make demands from someone like my father without fear.
I missed him. The ache was real and physical. I tried not to think about Roan while I was on Abaddon, but now as my father spoke about him, I needed my best friend. He’d know how to handle this better than I did, and I could tell him more than I could my mother. He wouldn’t judge or worry about what had already happened. He’d help me focus on what’s next. That’s what I needed right now.
“He’s okay?”
“I should say so.” My father grinned for the first time, and it was nice to see it. “Interesting character, that one.”
I grinned back. It was the first real smile I’d had in a while. “He’s the best.”
My father gave me a small, slow nod. “I wouldn’t expect otherwise from a friend of my daughter, but Lorne just messaged about an argument he and Declan were having.”
I really, really didn’t want to start out getting to know my father with a fight, but if that’s what had to happen then that’s what I’d do. “I survived the last couple weeks thanks to some friends. Declan found out they might be in trouble, and I won’t leave them behind.” I didn’t leave any room for negotiation in my tone.
He let out a long sigh. “Ah. I see. I saw them in the videos, but you going back now is idiocy.” He frowned and I knew I wasn’t going to like what he said next. “Not everyone can be saved in war.”
“Maybe not, but I have to try. And I wasn’t planning on stepping foot on Abaddon again.”
Lorne and Declan looked at me.
“You weren’t?” Lorne asked.
“No. I have another plan.” I huffed a soft laugh. “Might be a crazy one, but I think it’s pretty solid considering…”
“Go on,” Rysden said.
“How far from Abaddon are you, Declan?”
“Six hours and change.”
That wasn’t what I wanted to hear. “You’re too far away for what I need. I want to do this quickly. Can you get to his ship?” I asked Lorne. “Can you tow it to Abaddon while cloaked?”
His eyebrows went up. “I can tow him and get it very close undetected, yes.”
I knew he was okay with seeing where I was going with this, but I wondered if he’d back me up on my insane plan. I couldn’t do it without him. My father was too far away to stop us, but Lorne could.
“Good.” I focused back on Declan. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms as he waited, looking ready to take whatever punch I was going to throw his way.
I was going to manipulate him, and maybe I’d feel bad about that later, but if it meant Audrey had a chance to live, especially after everything she’d done for me, then I’d worry about that later. “I did everything you asked of me in that courtroom. I survived, but it was hard. I know that when all of this is done, I will forever have nightmares about my time on Abaddon. I hear my skin sizzling as I fall asleep every night. I smell sulfur as I wake. It was hard, but I did it. And now I need you to do something for me.”
He dropped his arms to his sides. “What do you want me to do?”
“Your ship is still SpaceTech, and you haven’t technically defected yet, right?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Lorne is going to drop me off on the surface of the moon, I’ll make a very big distraction, and in the chaos, you need to land on Abaddon and get my friends.”
Declan shook his head slowly. “This is a bad—”
“You don’t get to say no.” I was pissed at him, and I was going to use that to fuel what I had to do next. “You grab Ahiga, Audrey, Tyler, Santiago, and anyone else who Ahiga thinks should come. No one stays behind who could be killed because of me. You get them out of there, then sound the evacuation alarm.”
“What kind of distraction are you going to make?” Lorne asked.
This was the part that was bad. I’d barely survived the moon the first time around, and I was about to tell them I wanted to go back for more. What they couldn’t know was how dangerous this could be for me. Otherwise, they’d never let me go.
I took a moment and tried to muster up all the confidence I had left. “I know where all the volatile crystals are. The ones I hit are still active. They’ll be active for hours yet. All I need to do is hit them one more time, and then find a crystal big enough to set off all the others, and I think I know the one. I’m going to blow up the moon from the inside, and if we’re lucky it’ll smash into Abaddon and take the base with it.”
My father shook his head. “I don’t know Amihanna. This sounds—”
“We’ll stay cloaked, but it won’t take a genius for SpaceTech to figure out what happened. And if anything goes wrong—”
Lorne laughed in shock. “Gods above. You’re mad.”
Maybe I was crazy. I was asking Lorne and Declan to risk their lives for me. My only plan was to blow up a moon. I should be worried that hitting those crystals had nearly killed me the first time, and I was about to go back for round two when I still wasn’t fully healed, but I wasn’t. If I didn’t come back from this, I was okay with that.
I should also be worried about starting a war, but I wasn’t anymore. What Lorne had said about the war being inevitable had set in. He’d made sense. SpaceTech was evil. It had to be stopped.
Above and beyond everything else, I couldn’t carelessly leave good people to die.
Ahiga. Audrey. Tyler. Santiago. They’d be traitors for helping me. For hiding me. I couldn’t run when I could save them. No matter what happened to me, I was going to save them.
“Lorne and Rysden both said the war is coming. We might as well start things off with a bang.” I shrugged, trying to play off the enormity of what I was saying, but I couldn’t really. I’d never blown up anything, and I’d definitely never started a war.
“And blowing up the moon qualifies?” my father asked.
“I’d say so. Should be a pretty loud bang when it’s all done, which should give Declan more than enough time to get away from the base with my friends. There should also be enough time for SpaceTech to evacuate the rest of the base if the moon crashes into the planet, but it’s a gamble.”
“Doesn’t hurt that it might be fun to beat Jason at his own game, too.” Lorne grinned. “I’m in.”
“Declan?” I asked.
He gave me a grave nod. “Anything you need. I’m there. I owe you. I’ll never stop owing you. But this? This is easy. We can make this work. I don’t want to leave Ahiga there any more than you do.”
“It means leaving SpaceTech.” And his family. He’d once said that he didn’t feel any allegiance to them, and I wondered if that was true.
“It was only a matter of time, really. I wish I’d been able to change things, but I can help more with the Aunare now. But I do have one problem with your plan.” He leaned toward the camera, his gaze staring into me. “Are you well enough to do this?”
I opened my mouth to tell him that I was fine, but Declan held up his hand.
“No. No. Don’t you dare lie to me. I watched you on that moon. I was with you the whole time.” His voice was cold and furious. “I know what it did to you.”
I straightened up, ready to defend myself. “I don’t lie.”
“And how many times did you say you were okay in the suit when you weren’t? How many times did you say this was going to be a piece of cake to Tyler before you closed the helmet—only it was hell out there? Do not lie to me right now.”
I stepped toward the screen. My skin was still glowing, and I didn’t care that it was giving away how mad I was. “Don’t you dare use that against me. Ever. I’m fine. I’ll keep being fine until my friends are here and we’re safe. Until that base and all the lucole and everything it stood for is gone. I’m fine!”
Lorne said something, and Declan leaned away from the camera, surrendering the argument. “Okay, Ami. If you say you’re fine, then you’re fine. You know your limits.”
I let out a long breath. I felt a littl
e bad about fooling them, but I was determined enough. I’d make this work. “Is this okay with you, Rysden?” His name came stumbling out, and I wasn’t the only one wincing at the sound of it.
“Dad or Father, please. Not Rysden. I’m your father.” There was heartbreak on his face, but I couldn’t say the word no matter how much he wanted me to. I could think it in my head, but I didn’t feel it in my heart.
“I know… I…” I didn’t know how to explain it to him without feeling like a total jerk.
“It’s okay. I understand. But you need my approval for this?” my father asked.
I didn’t. My father was too far away to really stop me, but I didn’t want to start off our relationship badly if I didn’t have to. I gave him a small shake of my head. “But it’d be nice to have.”
“All right then, I’ll keep my mouth shut, but you’re going to have to run fast. From my limited knowledge about the base, it’s extremely protected. I’m speeding up. We’ll meet in the middle somewhere. Hopefully sooner than later, but Lorne—you’ll keep me apprised.”
“You know I will.” Lorne stood tall, held his hand over his heart, gave my father a small nod. “You’ve got my word on it.”
“Then let’s get this done and get back to Sel’Ani. I want to have a long talk with my daughter.”
I swallowed. “About?”
“Everything.” He tilted his head to the side as he studied me. “I missed it all. But also, about not calling me Father. We’re going to have to work on that.”
Man. I should’ve just made myself say the word, even if it felt wrong. “Okay.” It came out as a squeak.
He gave a nod, and the screen blinked back to just Declan.
I blew out a long breath. Lorne watched me as I realized what was going to happen, and he gave me a small smile. My skin went from a dull glow to painfully bright.
I swallowed, not wanting to think too hard about why a simple smile from Lorne was making my skin glow so intensely. Or how when he said my name it made me feel like I was falling. Or how basically anything he did set me off in a way that I could only call uncomfortable. I didn’t have the capacity to handle someone like him. Not right now. Maybe not ever.