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The Complete Poems and Plays, 1909-1950

Page 57

by T. S. Eliot


  The meanings are different. Look! We’re back in the room

  That we entered only a few minutes ago.

  Here’s an armchair, there’s the table;

  There’s the door … and I hear someone coming:

  It’s Lambert with the tea …

  [Enter LAMBERT with trolley]

  and I shall say, ‘Lambert,

  Please let his lordship know that tea is waiting’.

  LAMBERT. Yes, Miss Monica.

  MONICA. I’m very glad, Charles,

  That you can stay to tea.

  [Exit LAMBERT]

  — Now we’re in the public world.

  CHARLES. And your father will come. With his calm possessive air

  And his kindly welcome, which is always a reminder

  That I mustn’t stay too long, for you belong to him.

  He seems so placidly to take it for granted

  That you don’t really care for any company but his!

  MONICA. You’re not to assume that anything I’ve said to you

  Has given you the right to criticise my father.

  In the first place, you don’t understand him;

  In the second place, we’re not engaged yet.

  CHARLES. Aren’t we? We’re agreed that we’re in love with each other,

  And, there being no legal impediment

  Isn’t that enough to constitute an engagement?

  Aren’t you sure that you want to marry me?

  MONICA. Yes, Charles. I’m sure that I want to marry you

  When I’m free to do so. But by that time

  You may have changed your mind. Such things have happened.

  CHARLES. That won’t happen to me.

  [Knock. Enter LAMBERT]

  LAMBERT. Excuse me, Miss Monica. His Lordship said to tell you

  Not to wait tea for him.

  MONICA. Thank you, Lambert.

  LAMBERT. He’s busy at the moment. But he won’t be very long.

  [Exit]

  CHARLES. Don’t you understand that you’re torturing me?

  How long will you be imprisoned, alone with your father

  In that very expensive hotel for convalescents

  To which you’re taking him? And what after that?

  MONICA. There are several good reasons why I should go with him.

  CHARLES. Better reasons than for marrying me?

  What reasons?

  MONICA. First, his terror of being alone.

  In the life he’s led, he’s never had to be alone.

  And when he’s been at home in the evening,

  Even when he’s reading, or busy with his papers

  He needs to have someone else in the room with him,

  Reading too — or just sitting — someone

  Not occupied with anything that can’t be interrupted.

  Someone to make a remark to now and then.

  And mostly it’s been me.

  CHARLES. I know it’s been you.

  It’s a pity that you haven’t had brothers and sisters

  To share the burden. Sisters, I should say,

  For your brother’s never been of any use to you.

  MONICA. And never will be of any use to anybody,

  I’m afraid. Poor Michael! Mother spoilt him

  And Father was too severe — so they’re always at loggerheads.

  CHARLES. But you spoke of several reasons for your going with your father.

  Is there any better reason than his fear of solitude?

  MONICA. The second reason is exactly the opposite:

  It’s his fear of being exposed to strangers.

  CHARLES. But he’s most alive when he’s among people

  Managing, manœuvring, cajoling or bullying —

  At all of which he’s a master. Strangers!

  MONICA. You don’t understand. It’s one thing meeting people

  When you’re in authority, with authority’s costume,

  When the man that people see when they meet you

  Is not the private man, but the public personage.

  In politics Father wore a public label.

  And later, as chairman of public companies,

  Always his privacy has been preserved.

  CHARLES. His privacy has been so well preserved

  That I’ve sometimes wondered whether there was any …

  Private self to preserve.

  MONICA. There is a private self, Charles.

  I’m sure of that.

  CHARLES. You’ve given two reasons,

  One the contradiction of the other.

  Can there be a third?

  MONICA. The third reason is this:

  I’ve only just been given it by Dr. Selby —

  Father is much iller than he is aware of:

  It may be, he will never return from Badgley Court.

  But Selby wants him to have every encouragement —

  If he’s hopeful, he’s likely to live a little longer.

  That’s why Selby chose the place. A convalescent home

  With the atmosphere of an hotel —

  Nothing about it to suggest the clinic —

  Everything about it to suggest recovery.

  CHARLES. This is your best reason, and the most depressing;

  For this situation may persist for a long time,

  And you’ll go on postponing and postponing our marriage.

  MONICA. I’m afraid … not a very long time, Charles.

  It’s almost certain that the winter in Jamaica

  Will never take place. ‘Make the reservations’

  Selby said, ‘as if you were going’.

  But Badgley Court’s so near your constituency!

  You can come down at weekends, even when the House is sitting.

  And you can take me out, if Father can spare me.

  But he’ll simply love having you to talk to!

  CHARLES. I know he’s used to seeing me about.

  MONICA. I’ve seen him looking at you. He was thinking of himself

  When he was your age — when he started like you,

  With the same hopes, the same ambitions —

  And of his disappointments.

  CHARLES. Is that wistfulness,

  Compassion, or … envy?

  MONICA. Envy is everywhere.

  Who is without envy? And most people

  Are unaware or unashamed of being envious.

  It’s all we can ask if compassion and wistfulness …

  And tenderness, Charles! are mixed with envy:

  I do believe that he is fond of you.

  So you must come often. And Oh, Charles dear —

  [Enter LORD CLAVERTON]

  MONICA. You’ve been very long in coming, Father. What have you been doing?

  LORD CLAVERTON. Good afternoon, Charles. You might have guessed, Monica,

  What I’ve been doing. Don’t you recognise this book?

  MONICA. It’s your engagement book.

  LORD CLAVERTON. Yes, I’ve been brooding over it.

  MONICA. But what a time for your engagement book!

  You know what the doctors said: complete relaxation

  And to think about nothing. Though I know that won’t be easy.

  LORD CLAVERTON. That is just what I was doing.

  MONICA. Thinking of nothing?

  LORD CLAVERTON. Contemplating nothingness. Just remember:

  Every day, year after year, over my breakfast,

  I have looked at this book — or one just like it —

  You know I keep the old ones on a shelf together;

  I could look in the right book, and find out what I was doing

  Twenty years ago, to-day, at this hour of the afternoon.

  If I’ve been looking at this engagement book, to-day,

  Not over breakfast, but before tea,

  It’s the empty pages that I’ve been fingering —

  The first empty pages since I entered Parliament.

  I used
to jot down notes of what I had to say to people:

  Now I’ve no more to say, and no one to say it to.

  I’ve been wondering … how many more empty pages?

  MONICA. You would soon fill them up if we allowed you to!

  That’s my business to prevent. You know I’m to protect you

  From your own restless energy — the inexhaustible

  Sources of the power that wears out the machine.

  LORD CLAVERTON. They’ve dried up, Monica, and you know it.

  They talk of rest, these doctors, Charles; they tell me to be cautious,

  To take life easily. Take life easily!

  It’s like telling a man he mustn’t run for trains

  When the last thing he wants is to take a train for anywhere!

  No, I’ve not the slightest longing for the life I’ve left —

  Only fear of the emptiness before me.

  If I had the energy to work myself to death

  How gladly would I face death! But waiting, simply waiting,

  With no desire to act, yet a loathing of inaction.

  A fear of the vacuum, and no desire to fill it.

  It’s just like sitting in an empty waiting room

  In a railway station on a branch line,

  After the last train, after all the other passengers

  Have left, and the booking office is closed

  And the porters have gone. What am I waiting for

  In a cold and empty room before an empty grate?

  For no one. For nothing.

  MONICA. Yet you’ve been looking forward

  To this very time! You know how you grumbled

  At the farewell banquet, with the tributes from the staff,

  The presentation, and the speech you had to make

  And the speeches that you had to listen to!

  LORD CLAVERTON [pointing to a silver salver, still lying in its case]. I don’t know which impressed me more, the insincerity

  Of what was said about me, or of my reply —

  All to thank them for that.

  Oh the grudging contributions

  That bought this piece of silver! The inadequate levy

  That made the Chairman’s Price! And my fellow directors

  Saying ‘we must put our hands in our pockets

  To double this collection — it must be something showy’.

  This would do for visiting cards — if people still left cards

  And if I was going to have any visitors.

  MONICA. Father, you simply want to revel in gloom!

  You know you’ve retired in a blaze of glory —

  You’ve read every word about you in the papers.

  CHARLES. And the leading articles saying ‘we are confident

  That his sagacious counsel will long continue

  To be at the disposal of the Government in power’.

  And the expectation that your voice will be heard

  In debate in the Upper House …

  LORD CLAVERTON. The established liturgy

  Of the Press on any conspicuous retirement.

  My obituary, if I had died in harness,

  Would have occupied a column and a half

  With an inset, a portrait taken twenty years ago.

  In five years’ time, it will be the half of that;

  In ten years’ time, a paragraph.

  CHARLES. That’s the reward

  Of every public man.

  LORD CLAVERTON. Say rather, the exequies

  Of the failed successes, the successful failures,

  Who occupy positions that other men covet.

  When we go, a good many folk are mildly grieved,

  And our closest associates, the small minority

  Of those who really understand the place we filled

  Are inwardly delighted. They won’t want my ghost

  Walking in the City or sitting in the Lords.

  And I, who recognise myself as a ghost

  Shan’t want to be seen there. It makes me smile

  To think that men should be frightened of ghosts.

  If they only knew how frightened a ghost can be of men!

  [Knock. Enter LAMBERT]

  LAMBERT. Excuse me, my Lord. There’s a gentleman downstairs

  Is very insistent that he must see you.

  I told him you never saw anyone, my Lord,

  But by previous appointment. He said he knew that,

  So he had brought this note. He said that when you read it

  You would want to see him. Said you’d be very angry

  If you heard that he’d gone away without your seeing him.

  LORD CLAVERTON. What sort of a person?

  LAMBERT. A foreign person

  By the looks of him. But talks good English.

  A pleasant-spoken gentleman.

  LORD CLAVERTON [after reading the note]. I’ll see him in the library.

  No, stop. I’ve left too many papers about there.

  I’d better see him here.

  LAMBERT. Very good, my Lord.

  Shall I take the trolley, Miss Monica?

  MONICA. Yes, thank you, Lambert.

  [Exit LAMBERT]

  CHARLES. I ought to be going.

  MONICA. Let us go into the library. And then I’ll see you off.

  LORD CLAVERTON. I’m sorry to turn you out of the room like this,

  But I’ll have to see this man by myself, Monica.

  I’ve never heard of this Señor Gomez

  But he comes with a letter of introduction

  From a man I used to know. I can’t refuse to see him.

  Though from what I remember of the man who introduces him

  I expect he wants money. Or to sell me something worthless.

  MONICA. You ought not to bother with such people now, Father.

  If you haven’t got rid of him in twenty minutes

  I’ll send Lambert to tell you that you have to take a trunk call.

  Come, Charles. Will you bring my coat?

  CHARLES. I’ll say goodbye, sir.

  And look forward to seeing you both at Badgley Court

  In a week or two.

  [Enter LAMBERT]

  LAMBERT. Mr. Gomez, my Lord.

  LORD CLAVERTON. Goodbye, Charles. And please remember

  That we both want to see you, whenever you can come

  If you’re in the vicinity. Don’t we, Monica?

  MONICA. Yes, Father. (To CHARLES) We both want to see you.

  [Exeunt MONICA and CHARLES]

  [LAMBERT shows in GOMEZ]

  LORD CLAVERTON. Good evening, Mr…. Gomez. You’re a friend of Mr. Culverwell?

  GOMEZ. We’re as thick as thieves, you might almost say.

  Don’t you know me, Dick?

  LORD CLAVERTON. Fred Culverwell!

  Why do you come back with another name?

  GOMEZ. You’ve changed your name too, since I knew you.

  When we were up at Oxford, you were plain Dick Ferry.

  Then, when you married, you took your wife’s name

  And became Mr. Richard Claverton-Ferry;

  And finally, Lord Claverton. I’ve followed your example,

  And done the same, in a modest way.

  You know, where I live, people do change their names;

  And besides, my wife’s name is a good deal more normal

  In my country, than Culverwell — and easier to pronounce.

  LORD CLAVERTON. Have you lived out there ever since … you left England?

  GOMEZ. Ever since I finished my sentence.

  LORD CLAVERTON. What has brought you to England?

  GOMEZ. Call it homesickness,

  Curiosity, restlessness, whatever you like.

  But I’ve been a pretty hard worker all these years

  And I thought, now’s the time to take a long holiday,

  Let’s say a rest cure — that’s what I’ve come for.

  You see, I’m a widower, like you, Dick.
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