“I’m okay,” I insist. “I promise.”
I get to my feet. Hudson does the same. He glances around, like he’s seeing my apartment for the first time.
“Hey, this is a really nice place.”
“I know,” I nod. There’s no point being coy about it. My place rocks. “My favorite place on earth is out there on that balcony.”
I stand and motion for him to follow me outside. I open the French doors, the fresh air kissing my face as I step onto the balcony. Hudson lets out a low whistle, taking in the incredible view. I smile as I look out at the bustling city below.
The number of nights I’ve sat lost in my own thoughts, staring up at that sky…
“So, hot tub you said…”
I laugh. “Right, I did. It’s over there.”
“And it’s turned on?”
“It’s always turned on.”
“So am I,” he murmurs.
“Fine, get in,” I call out as I walk back inside.
“Wait, where are you going?”
“To get changed,” I patiently explain.
He glances down at his faded jeans and shirt.
“What about me?”
“I have a little pink polka dot bikini that will look great on you.” I snigger at the thought.
He winces. “Polka dots really aren’t my thing. I guess I’ll go commando.”
I can’t look away as he flicks open his belt and lowers his pants. My heart races as he steps out of his jeans, revealing his tanned, muscular legs. The thought of having him naked and in my hot tub makes me giddy. I quicken my pace, hurrying to my bedroom to change, if only to take a few seconds to compose myself.
Once I’m in the safety of my room, I can’t resist peeking out the window, which just so happens to have a prime view of the hot tub. I’m just in time to catch a glimpse of his perfectly toned ass before it disappears beneath the water. I step back into the darkness as he turns toward the window, but I’m pretty sure I’m too late. He totally just caught me checking him out. I bite down on my lip so hard I can taste blood.
Maybe this won’t be so bad after all…
I get changed quickly, choosing one of my favorite string bikinis, one that maximizes my already decent cleavage. I study my reflection in the mirror, the coral tone of the suit contrasting nicely with my tanned skin. I nod, satisfied I look good, and then turn around and pad through the apartment to the balcony.
His eyes remain on me as I wander over to the tub, my legs shaking so much they’re like jelly. I take a deep breath, the combination of the evening breeze and his intense stare turning my insides into a mess. I step inside the hot tub, ignoring his outstretched hand, and lower myself into the water, the heat a welcome distraction.
“Hey, you,” he murmurs. “Come over here.”
Reluctantly, I float across the water until his arms close around me, his strong hands resting against my back. My heart pounds as his lips graze over mine. His kiss is gentle, yet commanding, but no matter how good it feels, I can’t stop the thoughts from ticking over in my head.
I pull away to catch my breath, my hands clenched so tightly into fists that my nails dig into my skin. I breathe in deeply and then flex my fingers, trying to force myself to relax, but it does nothing. I’m so churned up that I feel sick.
“What is it now?” he asks, irritation creeping into his voice. “Do you want me to leave?”
“No,” I admit. “I’m sorry. I’m trying. I really am.”
“It’s okay. I get it. It’s weird. And to be honest, kissing you is a bit like kissing my sister,” he admits, turning up his nose.
I blink at him. Five minutes ago he couldn’t get enough of me and now kissing me is like kissing Holly?
“Really? Do you kiss your sister like that often?” I ask sweetly.
“I’m just saying, I thought I’d enjoy kissing you more than I am. That’s all.” He spreads his hands out and shrugs. “It all felt very one sided, like I was doing all the work. No wonder you weren’t into it. Neither was I.”
I gape at him, until the twinkle in his eyes gives away what his game is.
“I know what you’re trying to do,” I accuse.
“Really?” he asks. “And what would that be?”
“You’re trying to fire me up so I get angry and try to seduce you.”
“Is it working?” he asks.
Surprisingly, it is working.
My heart racing, I move across the tub until I’m in front of him. He wraps his arms around my waist as he lifts me onto his lap. He rocks me back and forth, his erection pressing against me. I sigh, loving how turned on he is. With a boost of confidence, I reach behind my back and loosen the string of my top, letting it fall away from me.
He grunts appreciatively as he runs his fingers along my stomach and over my breasts. I gasp, my already hard nipples stiffening to the point of pain. He leans forward and kisses me, then trails his mouth down my neck, my shoulder, until his tongue curls around my nipple. He sucks hard and I gasp, nearly orgasming on the spot, as he flicks his tongue around my nipple.
Parting my legs, I take his hand and guide it to the edge of my bikini bottoms. He brings his mouth back up to mine, kissing me slowly as he strokes me through the thin fabric.
“You’re such a tease,” I accuse.
To his amusement, I reach down and release the ties of my bikini, tossing them onto the balcony, then I wrap my legs around his waist and grasp ahold of his thick cock. I slide my hand along his length. He groans, his hands cupping my face, as he kisses me roughly on the mouth while I rub his cock.
“Fuck, that feels good,” he mutters.
I gasp as he lifts me onto his cock, sliding me down onto his length. My fingers rake through his hair as he claims my mouth, his hips jerking forward, bouncing me up and down on his length. I groan and bury my face in his neck, my legs shaking as my body starts to climax. I whimper as I contract around him, my body spasming as I come.
“Oh god,” I cry out.
Every part of me aches. I clutch onto him, riding him until I can’t handle anymore. He grunts, plunging me down on his cock, a strangled gasp escaping his lips. His body jolts as he comes inside me. His cock throbs so hard I can feel the blood pulsating through it as he enters me over and over, as he releases.
Lifting myself off him, I straddle his thighs, resting my face against his chest. I sigh, enjoying the feeling of his fingers rolling over my back as the gentle ripple of the water cascades around us.
“That was your plan all along, wasn't it?” I say, my tone accusing.
“Maybe,” he admits, looking proud of himself. His eyes glisten in the dark, a mesmerizing blue. “It worked, didn’t it?” He winks, slow and seductively.
Damn, he’s so cocky.
I don’t answer. Instead, I kiss him again, my tongue curling around his as he caresses my back.
We relax there for a few more minutes, until I’m almost falling asleep. I take that as my cue to get out, so I stand and reach for the towel, wrapping it around me. He watches as I step out of the tub. My skin tingles as the warm breeze hits my still wet skin. A shiver races through me that I tell myself has nothing to do with him.
“Can I get you another drink?” I call back to him as I walk inside.
“Sure.”
I’m having a hard time focusing on the juice I’m pouring, because Hudson has just walked inside, his towel casually draped around his waist, showcasing his well-defined stomach muscles. I look away, just in time to stop myself from spilling juice all over the counter.
“What's with all the books?” he asks, jutting his chin toward the stack on the coffee table.
“What do you mean?” I ask as I hand him his drink. “It’s a coffee table. What else do you put on one but books and coffee?”
Sure, I might have gone overboard with the parenting books, but there were so many choices, I couldn’t choose. It seems every celebrity who’s popped out a baby has written a parenting book. Even
some who haven’t.
“It looks like you've acquired every pregnancy book ever written.” He picks one up, turning it over to examine the back jacket.
“So?” I snatch it out of his hands and lay it out of his reach. “I like being prepared. I didn’t realize that was a crime.”
“It’s not, but you seem to want to be prepared for every situation,” he comments. “Someone should’ve probably told you to expect the unexpected when it comes to kids.”
“Because you’re an expert on kids?” I chortle.
“Compared to you?” He nods smugly. “Yes. Anyway, there’s being prepared and there’s being controlling.”
“Maybe if you had a little of my control, your business wouldn't be falling apart,” I retort. His face falls, and I feel a twinge of guilt. “Sorry. That was low,” I admit.
“Maybe, but I probably deserve it.”
He sits back against the cushions, a lazy contented look on his face. My heart races, because the way he’s looking at me right now and the fact that the only thing covering him is that towel…
The thought trails off and I don't chase it, because I’m scared of seeing where it will go. Instead, I sit on the other couch, the coffee table between us.
“There’s plenty of room over here,” he teases, enjoying making me feel uncomfortable.
“And it’ll stay that way,” I retort sweetly. “I'm quite happy over here with my mountain of books.”
“You know, I never took you for the nose in a book kind of girl,” he admits, repositioning himself just enough that the towel slides further up his thigh. I lift my gaze when I realize I’m staring at his crotch, and of course he notices. “I'm actually kind of shocked you can read.”
“Excuse me?” I gasp. Did he just say that?
“I'm joking,” he assures me with a chuckle.
“Joke or not, that was mean,” I pout.
“You’re right; that was mean. I’m sorry.” He sounds genuine, but you never can tell with Hudson. “What I meant to say is that you’re constantly surprising me. You’re so different to how I thought you’d be.”
“Really?” I narrow my eyes to size him up, not sure if I buy that. “You’ve known me most of my life,” I remind him.
“I know, but I never really knew you,” he explains. “I just figured you were like the rest of Holly's rich friends.”
“Superficial and only interested in what everyone can see on the surface?” I kid.
He nods, bemused. “Something like that.”
“Is that really how you’ve always seen me?” I’m more curious than anything else.
“Not so much when we were kids,” he admits after taking a moment to think about it. “But you’ve changed a lot since then. We both have. I guess I had this idea of you being a socialite who runs the town. Someone whose days are filled with shopping trips and day spas and southern balls.”
I swallow a laugh, because the girl he's describing was me, a week ago.
“Maybe there’s some truth in that,” I admit. “But not anymore. I guess it's amazing how losing everything can put things in perspective.”
“Tell me about it.” He runs his hand through his hair, his eyes troubled.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask him gently.
It’s easy to forget that he’s having problems too. There’s a reason he’s agreed to do this with me, but sometimes I get so caught up in my own problems, I forget that.
He shrugs. “There’s not much to talk about.” His hands fidget as he avoids looking at me. “I think the worst thing is I don't even know where it went wrong. If I could do it all over again, I don't even know what I would change to make sure my business is a success. That's what scares me the most. If I could see where things failed, it would be different, you know?”
“I get it,” I say. I feel like this is the closest we’ve come to really being honest with each other. “I know my story is completely different than yours, but I keep thinking to myself I should've seen the signs. My father hid things from me for years. There had to be signs.”
“How’s he coping?” he asks. “With being in custody?”
An overwhelming sense of sadness sweeps through me.
“I'd tell you if I knew. He won’t actually see me,” I admit. “The last time I spoke to him was the night before…”
God, I can’t even say his arrest.
I rub my face, my eyes stinging with tears.
“I've called every day, asking to see him, but I keep getting the runaround. I don't know if it's him or the police stopping me either. At first it was them, but now, I'm not sure…”
“He's probably too ashamed to face you,” Hudson reasons.
“He should be ashamed, but it’s not fair. He owes me answers. Not seeing me is the coward’s way out.”
I never thought this would be a conversation I’d be having with Hudson, but I needed to have it with someone. I’ve kept all my feelings over my father’s betrayal bottled up inside me, because it was easier than facing the truth. He stole from me, and he lied to me. And rather than own up to that and face me, he’s refusing to see me. That hurts more than anything else.
Yawning, I glance at the clock, shocked to see it’s almost midnight.
“Guess I should think about going,” Hudson murmurs, as he sits forward and stretches his arms. “I have work tomorrow.”
“You might want to think about getting dressed first,” I say slyly.
He glances down at the towel, then disappears outside where his clothes are. A few seconds later he reappears, dressed. I’m almost disappointed I missed the show.
“Hey, what happened to your job?” he asks.
I flush, embarrassed to admit I’ve been dodging her calls. I was so deflated with that first paycheck that the thought of going back there made me physically sick.
“She hasn’t been that busy,” I fib. “I probably won’t have time soon anyway, with the pregnancy…”
He nods, accepting my explanation.
I lead him to the door and open it. We both stand there awkwardly, not sure how to say goodbye. I hate to admit it, but I don’t want him to leave. The problem is I can’t bring myself to ask him to stay. He leans forward and I hold my breath, because I’m sure he’s going to kiss me. Heck, I want him to kiss me, but then he doesn’t. He steps back, creating some distance between us.
“Well, it’s been an interesting night,” he concedes.
“With any luck, we won’t need to do that again.”
But even as I say the words, though, I’m thinking the opposite.
Please don’t work the first time.
CHAPTER TEN
Hudson
I can’t stop thinking about last night.
To say I didn’t expect being with Valentina to be so amazing is an understatement. The more time I spend with her, the more I see of her, I realize there’s so much more to her than I thought there ever could be. Deep down, she’s sensitive, caring and sweet—all qualities I look for in a woman.
I glance at the clock and groan, because I'm running late—again. This is becoming a bit of a habit. The only difference is today I’m not trying to avoid everything. Sighing, I reluctantly roll myself out of bed and get in the shower. Once I’m dressed, I check my phone, not surprised to see a message from Matty.
Matty: Sorry for the late notice, but I won’t be in today. Marisa just had a baby.
Holy shit.
Shaking my head, I text him back.
Me: Shit, man. Congratulations. You have a good excuse for once. Boy or girl?
Matty: A girl. Matilda Rose.
I study the picture he sends through, an odd sense of wonder overcoming me. I’ve always thought babies look the same when they’re born, but I guess this arrangement with Valentina is bringing out the soft side of me. She’s a beautiful little baby, and her name really suits her. As happy as I am for Matty, there’s something eating at me. It’s not that I’m jealous. More worried that it might not ha
ppen for Valentina and me.
I sit on the edge of the bed and stare at the photo. It’s funny, because a week ago, I had no paternal feelings at all. If I never had kids, it wouldn’t have bothered me. Now as much as it scares the fuck out of me, the thought of it not happening is worse. I guess I’m looking forward to becoming a father even more than I realized. The thought of me as a father still feels so surreal. It’s like I’m living someone else’s life. I keep expecting to wake up and realize it’s all a dream.
I push thoughts of Valentina and I out of my head and focus on work. Matty being off creates some big problems for me. I need to finish this job, but the problem is, I’m already paying Matty whether he’s there to work or not. If I call in someone else to cover his shift, that’s more money I have to fork out. I’m stretched thin enough as it is, and I don’t know if I can cover the extra labor. But if I want to meet this deadline, I don’t have much of a choice.
I end up giving in and calling Ernesto, a semi-retired builder, whose worked a few jobs for me over the last year. I’m surprised when I get there ten minutes later to find he’s already there. I stroll over and pat him on the back. He turns around and beams at me.
“Ten points for punctuality,” I joke, shaking his outstretched hand.
“Matty better watch out, or he won’t have a job to come back to,” Ernesto jokes.
I force a laugh, his comment hitting a little too close to home, because that still might be a real possibility.
“Seriously though, how did you get here so fast?” I ask.
He points down the street. “I live about two blocks that way,” he admits. “And you were lucky you caught me after I’d just dropped off the kids at school.”
“I thought kids were supposed to make you run late,” I tease.
“Oh, they do. Trust me, you have no idea.” He laughs to himself. “I’m always running late. All sense of time goes out the window when you have a kid. One was bad enough, but then when two, three, and four came along...” He shakes his head. “And to think, the wife wants another one.”
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