Guardian

by Kerri Morrigan

The tenderness that had filled her heart only moments before had been replaced by a torrent of confusion, anger and hurt. The logical part of her brain tried to grasp at reasons why he might not have told her, and a shred of hope lingered that there was an explanation to it that wouldn’t betray her trust. She had literally just hung up the phone with her boss where she had put her job on hold to take care of him. Her anger threated to boil over. She glared at his unconscious form, willing him to wake up so she could ask him her questions. She didn’t want to have to wait for him to rouse to consciousness on his own. She wasn’t sure she could stand it.

  ✽✽✽

  Was this what it felt like to die? He had escorted many souls to the gates who had tried to process the details of their own deaths on the way up. He hadn’t thought it possible for an angel to die like humans did, but, as he had been pummeled into the ground by that infernon, he’d questioned it. When Grace had caused the fire hydrant to erupt, he had been so relieved. The water had been a cool balm against the agony of the burns covering his body. The last thing he remembered was trying to say thank you to her, but then his vision had failed, and then, nothing.

  Why was he still in pain? Endless, brutal, unrelenting. He’d experienced plenty of it, but never for this long. Usually angels healed themselves or one another in a matter of moments after an injury. Instead it was as if large swaths of his skin were still simmering. He moved his hands to touch one, only to encounter some sort of cloth barrier over it. Further exploration revealed every burn was covered. Bandages. He was covered in bandages. A surge of panic rushed through him. Had he been taken to a hospital?

  He cracked an eyelid. There was the familiar line of the ceiling above the bed. He was in his apartment. Gavriel must have brought him here after the fight, and since Grace had been there, Gavriel wouldn’t have been able to heal him. He panicked anew. Grace. Where was she? Had Gavriel been looking out for Grace in his absence? Now that the demons had tracked her to her apartment, it wasn’t safe. He was sure Gavriel must have at least had the sense to tell her not to return there.

  Caleb tilted his head to the side. The mix of emotions that coursed through him when he saw Grace sitting in his leather chair stunned him. He was relieved that she was alive and safe, and seeing her in his chair made a strange protective and possessive part of him pleased, as if, by proximity to something of his, she was his. It looked so right to have her sitting there, her glossy dark hair flowing over the back of the seat. Although he couldn’t see the rest of her body right now, he could imagine her lithe form relaxing into the cushion, her long legs tucked beneath her softly curved bottom.

  But his attraction to her was more than just physical. It was her courageous spirit that had so intrigued him. Her life growing up had been tragic, yet she had risen above it. She had dedicated herself to helping others instead of turning bitter with resentment. And while he’d cared about her because he had once saved her and because she was descended from Joan, it wasn’t until she’d helped him defeat that daeva in the park the day they’d first ‘met’ that his caring had turned into physical desire.

  And now it was more than that. He didn’t just want to have sex with her. He wanted to laugh with her, explore the world with her, talk with her about her dreams and make them become a reality. He wanted to have a normal life with her. The reality that he could never have her, that instead he would have to watch her find someone else to live her life with, to grow old with, was a bitter pill to swallow. He wasn’t sure he had the strength to see it through; it was the first time his promise to Joan had seemed like a burden too strong to bear.

  Then it hit him. Joan. Jesus Christ, Grace was staring right at the painting he had of Joan, hanging on his wall. Grace wasn’t stupid; in fact, she was pretty damn smart. There wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell she hadn’t noticed the ring in the painting. Nope. There was no doubt in his mind – he was in big trouble.

  The thought crossed his mind to continue to pretend to be asleep for a while longer to avoid the conversation, but he dismissed it. There would be no avoiding it now. He only hoped that whatever this was between them wouldn’t be destroyed because of it. He had never intended to show her his apartment, had never envisioned the situation would become this dire. He felt a flash of anger towards Gavriel for bringing Grace here, but who was he kidding? He was just angry at himself for not removing the painting sooner. Gavriel had done right thing.

  He braced himself. “Grace.” His voice came out as a hoarse growl. She whipped around, her surprise melting into a soft smile.

  “Oh, thank God,” she said coming over to him. She carefully sat herself on the bed near his face. “How are you feeling?”

  “Like a pig at a barbeque,” he responded. She chuckled.

  “I had no idea when you would wake. I was so worried. Gav insisted you’d be fine, but I wasn’t so sure. You didn’t look good when we arrived.”

  “When was that?”

  “It’s Sunday night, so a day and a half ago.”

  Had it been that long? He’d only ever lost minutes before, not days. It was of little consequence for him, but what had Grace been through during those hours? “Are you alright? You weren’t hurt, were you?” he asked.

  “No, I’m fine. A few bumps and bruises, but they’re nothing. You, on the other hand, were not so fortunate.”

  “Yeah, no kidding.” He snorted, and gingerly lifted his arm to examine one of the bandages. “Did you do all of this?” He couldn’t imagine who else would have. Gav certainly wouldn’t have known the first thing about human methods of healing, nor would he have thought they’d do him any good.

  “I did. And I’ll need to change the dressings soon. I haven’t done it yet.”

  “I’m naked,” he blurted, the fact just dawning on him.

  “Who do you think cut off all of your tattered clothes in the first place?” she said raising an eyebrow.

  He didn’t have a reply for that, but the thought of her looking at his naked body made his mouth run so dry he coughed.

  She smirked but said only, “I’ll get you a sip of water.” She went to the kitchen and filled a glass at the sink and stuck in a straw. Where had she gotten a glass from?

  “Now listen, Caleb,” she said as she helped prop him up and held the straw to his lips. “You and I need to have a serious discussion about things you haven’t been telling me.” He made to answer, but she quickly cut him off. “I had initially planned to grill you the second you woke up, but I have since calmed down and thought better of it. I owe you my life, regardless of what your answers to those questions might be, so I will take care of you until you are healed. I owe you that much. But when we have this discussion, I want the truth. No more lies. No more secrets.”

  Kalev stared at her. He hadn’t expected this calm response. It scared him more than any fit of anger would have. But at least it gave him time to think. How would he convince her to stay? It killed him that he couldn’t give her the only thing she wanted – the truth.

  ✽✽✽

  Grace had stayed at his side night and day since had awakened Sunday evening. Kalev had tried to get her to take a break, but she’d insisted, and he had to admit, he liked the attention. She’d even had Gav go to her apartment to get her a duffel with some ‘essentials’. It was clear that Gav had absolutely no clue what was ‘essential’ because he came back with what appeared to be half of her apartment. He’d even hauled over her mattress so she didn’t have to sleep on the love seat. Grace had burst into a fit of giggles when Gav had carried it in, and Gav had laughed in return. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever heard Gav truly laugh. The two of them laughing together had made a spark of jealousy flair in him, despite reason telling him it was foolish.

  To make matters worse, she’d been cooking up a storm, insisting he needed to eat to build up his strength. He was no longer surprised when he put food in his mouth and tasted its flavor, but he still found taste quite unnerving. In the past few days, though, he’d discov
ered that he enjoyed most foods and loved falafel in particular. He couldn’t hide his delight when he’d first tasted it. Grace had smiled at him. “It’s Annalise’s grandmother’s recipe,” she’d told him, as if that was all the explanation needed to account for why the falafel tasted so good. “I’ll make you more tomorrow.”

  Each night, after Grace had gone to sleep, Caleb had snuck into the shower, closed the curtain and let himself glow as brightly as he dared, converting all the energy the food provided into light. It was not a pleasant sensation, but he could not come up with any reasonable excuses for not eating, and now that he could taste food, it almost seemed worth it.

  Grace had just helped him change a bandage he couldn’t reach himself on his right shoulder blade. The once blackened, weeping welts had become only an angry pink. Grace had been shocked. Although he hadn’t had Gav help his healing along, angels healed much faster than humans. Again, he’d had to lie to her and told her that injuries from demons healed differently. He’d spun a bs story that the power that had created the wounds faded if you killed the demon who’d caused them. She’d looked skeptical until he reminded her of the cut she’d received from an arrow only a few days before. He’d pointed out that it had healed much more quickly than she’d expected because killing the demon that had attacked her had made the healing go faster. She bought it.

  Liar. Liar. Liar. He hated this. Why was he so damn good at something so wrong?

  Now she was putting the final piece of tape around the edge of the gauze. “I think it’s time you answer some of my questions,” she said quietly.

  He tensed. He hadn’t been prepared for her to spring the conversation this second. “What do you want to know?”

  “Everything,” she paused only for a moment, “but you can start by telling me if my ring is the same one as hers or if there are multiple copies of it.”

  “I believe it is the same one. I don’t know of any others like it,” he said. He’d put a lot of thought into how he was going to spin this to give her as much of the truth as possible without getting her too aggravated or telling her too much.

  “Why do I have it?”

  “You said your mom got it from her mom as long as anyone could remember right?” She nodded in affirmation. “Joan of Arc didn’t have any children of her own, but maybe you’re related somehow, and it passed down to you.”

  “Why do you have a painting of her in your apartment?”

  “I have always found her story to be inspiring. When I begin to forget why I’m doing what I do, I sit down, study the painting for a while and reflect on her life. Not all heroes wear capes, right?”

  Grace let out a small snort at that before she came around to sit across from him on the edge of the bed. She looked him squarely in the eye and continued.

  “This is what they want isn’t it.” She examined her ring. “I wasn’t some random victim in the park, that got marked for death. The demons want this ring.”

  He stared right back, trying to read the emotions running through her head, but they were unclear.

  “They do. I didn’t tell you at first because I’d hoped to quickly take care of it. Then you could go on to live a happy, normal life.”

  “So, you were going to, what? Steal it from me?”

  “If I had to. Though I hoped it wouldn’t come to that. But then you got more involved, and I discovered that the scope of the problem was so much bigger than I’d thought it was. I knew that wouldn’t work anymore. But I didn’t want you to worry. I was trying to keep you safe.”

  “Ignorance rarely keeps anyone safe.” The first twinge of anger tinged her cheeks.

  “You’re right, I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner.”

  “Is this the reason I started seeing demons? Is this the reason they attacked me?”

  “Yes, and yes.”

  “So, if I take it off, they’ll stop coming after me?” she said, grabbing hold of the ring with her opposite hand as if to remove it. He shot out his own hand and grasped hers before she could take it off. Her jolt of surprise told him that he’d clutched it more harshly than he’d meant to. He removed his hand slowly.

  “No, don’t take it off. Now that you’re marked, taking it off won’t do anything except keep you blind. They know how to find you now, ring or no ring.”

  “Oh,” she responded. Thankfully, it was enough to make her hands fall back at her sides. “I guess I better not take it off then.” She paused. “Wait. How come you can see them? I’ve seen every inch of you these past few days, so unless you have some magical hidden implant I don’t know about, then you don’t need a talisman to be able to see demons.”

  He shrugged. “I’ve always been able to. Everyone in my family can. It’s just something we’ve come to accept. I can’t give you a better answer than that.”

  She fell silent for a while. Then a pained expression crossed her features.

  “My mom put it on. I remember. The day she gave it to me. It was way too big for me and I asked her to put it on so I could see it. I even pushed it on to her finger, and she stuck her hand out in that ‘look at my shiny engagement ring’ sort of pose. Then she took it off, and we put it back on the chain and into the box on my nightstand.” Her voice started to quaver and her hands trembled.

  So that’s how it had happened, he thought. He’d known that Suzanne, her mother, had to have put the ring on, but why and for what purpose had always been a mystery.

  “That’s what caused it, isn’t it? See, when I was little, my parents died in a fire, but the police could never find a reason why the house had caught fire in the first place. I almost died too.” Her eyes filled with tears. “It was demons wasn’t it? Had I not asked her to put this stupid ring on, it would have never happened. They’d still be alive.”

  Her face filled with horror and her pitch rose with each word. Her breathing was becoming fast and shallow.

  “Grace, take a deep breath.” He soothed. “Grace, try and calm down.”

  She stood up violently instead. “I find out it is my fault that my parents died, and you are telling me to calm down?!”

  “It is not your fault!” he nearly shouted back at her, trying to get through to her. But it was no use.

  “Just leave me alone!” she ran into the bathroom and slammed the door behind her.

  Chapter 13

  Tears streaming down her face, Grace locked the bathroom door and turned on the shower to hide her sobs. It was bad enough that she’d lived over half of her life as an orphan. Now she had to live with the realization that, had she not asked one simple question, her parents would still be alive. The small part of her brain that insisted there was no way she could’ve known, and that it wasn’t her fault, was drowned in the torrent of her grief.

  Why had this happened to her? To her family? Why had the family bothered to pass down this ring that only brought trouble and death to those who wore it? From the moment she had put the damn thing on, her life had been in jeopardy. And now, there was no turning back. Taking it off would do no good – what was done was done.

  She had planned on this conversation with Caleb going so differently. She had thought to get answers that would grant her further understanding, maybe make her angry with him, maybe lessen her feelings for him; she had never anticipated being shaken to her very core, the depths of her sorrow over the loss of her parents brought forth anew. She had finally started moving on with her life. Now her grief felt as fresh as ever.

  Grace’s limbs were stiff and aching when she finally uncurled from the corner of the bathroom well past nightfall. If her phone hadn’t rung, she probably would have stayed in the corner all night, but she couldn’t ignore the buzzing. She’d let the first call go to voicemail, but the second call that immediately followed had her worried. The caller ID showed an unknown number.

  “Hello?”

  “Grace, is that you?”

  She recognized Annalise’s voice instantly, even through the crying. “Yeah, it is. What’
s wrong? Are you okay? What happened?”

  “Remember I told you about that club?” She sniffled. “Well I went... and, um, I know it was stupid, but I really wanted to go, and I couldn’t find anyone, so I came alone. But someone stole my purse. It had everything in it – my phone, my keys, my wallet…”

  “Oh my God, that’s awful. Did you talk to the club manager? The police? Where are you right now?”

  “The club manager let me use the phone. He said stuff here is stolen all the time and it takes hours for the police to get here. He suggested I go to the station to file the report instead. But I don’t have any money for a cab. I know you can’t come out here, but I thought maybe you could call an uber or something and then I could pay you back.”

  Annalise’s breath was catching as she tried to stop crying.

  “Of course, I will, but wait one second. I have an idea. I’ll talk to my guard here with me. Can you just stay on the line for a minute?” Grace muted her end of the phone and opened the bathroom door.

  “Look, I’m sorry that it all came out like—” Caleb started but Grace waved her hand dismissively.

  “We can talk about that later. Right now, we have a bigger problem. Annalise had her purse stolen in a club in the city. She either needs to wait at the club all night for the police to finally get there or go to the station herself. She’s totally distraught. She shouldn’t be alone.”

  “You know it’s not safe for you to go out there,” Caleb said.

  “I’ll be fine if you come with me. Besides, it’s still busy out. You said with lots of people around it’s safe. And what if whoever took it looks at her ID and uses her keys to get into her apartment?” She wasn’t sure Annalise had even thought of that possibility yet, but she sure had. Her mind had a tendency lately to think ‘worst case scenario’ first, and ‘happily innocuous situation’ later.

  “We aren’t going anywhere. It’s not guaranteed safe. I don’t want to take any chances.”