Wishes

by J. C. Owens

  He felt a moment’s guilt for not being on the bridge when they had left the dock, but it soon disappeared. The captain had not called him, and he had been right in his assessment of Auri’s usefulness.

  Now he felt more himself, able to think and act with his usual calm deliberation. And hungry. He ordered food into his cabin, luxuriating in the time to himself, not wanting to squander it in the hall. At last, reluctantly, he took himself to the bridge and quietly entered to stand beside the captain.

  Janred was talking to one of the computer techs, and when he turned back, he jumped visibly at the sight of Auri so close.

  “Damn, Lieutenant, make a little noise next time. You are so bloody quiet I never know when you are here.”

  “Sorry, sir. I will try to be noisier in your presence from now on.” Auri could not prevent his lip from twitching.

  Janred peered at him uncertainly. “Was that a faint smile I saw, Lieutenant?”

  Auri straightened into a precise stance. “No, sir, of course not, sir.” His tone was calm and even.

  “Pity.” Janred frowned at him before turning away. “Sit, for goodness’ sakes.”

  Auri sat in his assigned chair, turning to begin letting his fingers run over the computer keys, checking and re-checking what had been added to the holds and where it was located until he could visualize all that had been done and where to find any item. Once the picture was in his head, he would not need to refer to the computer again. It was one of his talents to remember such things perfectly.

  He ran down the list of the diplomatic team, memorizing faces and names, finally looking up to address Janred.

  “Captain, when will I meet the team, sir?”

  “Tonight we will have a community meal and I can introduce you then. We will be having a meeting tomorrow morning to finalize plans and procedure and be briefed as to proper etiquette while we are on world.”

  Auri narrowed his eyes. “Who will be going on world, sir?”

  “We will each lead a team, Lieutenant. I will head security for the diplomats, and you will head the support team.”

  Auri nodded, secure in his abilities in that direction, though he felt less than enthusiastic at the thought he would actually see the Felinians. He mentally scoffed at his inner squeamishness. The tech had probably just not gotten his facts straight. It was foolish to worry about hearsay and rumor. He grinned at his computer screen. They were probably three feet high and thought humans were only a step above canned meat and smelled funny.

  Nothing to worry about.

  * * * Auri met the diplomats that evening and thought they were a bunch of stuck-up, snobbish assholes who could raise the hackles of a mouse. How in hell they could possibly pull off a matter of such importance and delicacy as these talks he could not imagine. He listened and watched and thought that if the Felinians had any sense whatsoever, they would tell these idiots to go suck themselves and begin talks instead with the rebels.

  Whose bright idea had it been to send these sticks instead of real humans? He shook his head and quietly left when it was sure not to be noticed. He did not want to make any trouble for the captain, but he sure as hell could not take any more of their company without wanting to bash heads.

  He met Astlani in the hallway with a large group of the diplomatic support staff and was swept into their midst by the older man, who kept an arm around his shoulders to keep him there.

  “Come, Lieutenant, tonight we have fun, yes? Tomorrow we have to be serious, but tonight is ours.” He swept one hand out in an expansive gesture, narrowly missing one of his co-workers, who ducked adroitly, obviously well used to Astlani’s antics.

  “You are off duty now, yes?” Auri debated lying, but loath to hurt the other man’s feelings if he found out differently, he reluctantly nodded.

  Astlani crowed with joy. “We party then.” Auri grimaced an approximation of a smile as he was pulled along into the hall, where the noisy group laid claim to one side and ordered drinks.

  The crew of Hagan Fell stared in astonishment at the sight of their lieutenant amongst the high-spirited rabble and Auri sighed inwardly. This would make the rounds for weeks to come. Lieutenant Auri Blade, cold stick, partying. Most would never believe it if they had not seen it.

  He accepted a glass of some sort of alcohol—he did not ask what, since he really did not drink and had no intentions of imbibing this either.

  It was overwhelming being in the midst of such exuberant and lighthearted people, and he felt utterly lost, out of his element. His job he was confident in; socializing was another thing altogether. He watched in some part of his mind, analyzing the strangeness of people as they drank and talked and laughed, interacting with each other so easily.

  He took a small sip of his drink, inwardly grimacing at its taste. What was wrong with him that he could never just let go and become close to someone? Why did he always have to be the loner?

  The thought came and went with ease. He had long ago stopped obsessing about his peculiarities. He was what he was and it was no use to make wishes to be anything else.

  He waited until they were drunk enough to forget him and then he quietly rose and left, invisible and preferring it that way.

  * * * Auri stood at the window on the bridge, hands clasped behind his back, watching as the Felinian world became clearer. The ship was powered back, slowly descending to its designated landing spot, and he could clearly see the beauty of the world spread before him. Mountains, plains, but mostly forest.

  He felt his interest stir. Often during his vacations, he would head to somewhere uninhabited; camp, hike, climb. This world looked like paradise— then he remembered the Felinians and revised his thoughts. Paradise perhaps, but with a serpent.

  Not where he could book a vacation, certainly. Still he could appreciate such beauty, and that perception only grew after they landed and he saw the immense trees that surrounded them. True giants.

  He did his duties, helped everywhere, but when the work was done and the diplomats talking among themselves, he could not resist taking a few steps away from them and laying a hand on one of the trees, looking up in total awe. The bark was very rough to the touch and he stroked it, a small smile coming to his face as he imagined he could feel its energy coming back to him.

  He always seemed to imagine such bizarre things. Shaking his head, he stepped back after giving the tree a last pat. About to turn back to the group, he froze as he realized he was staring into golden eyes only three or four paces away.

  He blinked in astonishment, hand going to his gun automatically, but freezing as he remembered why they were here.

  The Felinian, for it could be nothing else, watched him unblinkingly, giving no indication he could see as to its thoughts.

  Without sound, three others materialized beside the first and they grasped weapons as the first had not.

  Auri’s first thought was that the tales of their height were true. The first was the tallest, standing at least a head and a half taller than Auri, and he had never considered himself short at six feet. The others were slightly smaller, but only slightly. Fur covered every inch of them, sleek and short, each in different patterns, like a domestic cat. Their eyes were large and slanted, golden and with pupils like a cat’s. Their bodies were faintly humanoid, rippling muscles beneath fur, furred hands that looked human, but there were claws at the ends of fingers, perhaps because of their agitation at the moment. Their legs bent as a cat’s would, backward instead of forward like a human knee. Their feet were paws, and their large tails lashed from side to side, perhaps another sign of agitation.

  Large ears held golden rings, perhaps denoting rank, and those ears were constantly on the move, detecting every sound around them. They wore only a short wrap around their bodies from waist to mid thigh, covered in embroidered decoration and symbols, bordered with gold thread. Leather straps criss-crossed broad shoulders and carried a variety of weapons, many of which Auri could not have guessed the purpose of. Several lar
ge knives were strapped to their thighs, and each carried a gun at their hip.

  They were definitely prepared for anything, not that Auri could blame them with what the Empire had done here.

  The first one had not taken its eyes from Auri, and the lieutenant took a step away carefully, not liking the way its look encompassed him so completely. At that moment, he heard an exclamation from behind him, then the diplomats came forth, surrounding him then pushing him to the back as they began to sign with the Felinians.

  Auri had to fight to break away from the power of those golden eyes, and when he did, he felt like he had run a mile, his muscles quivering with strain he had not known he was under. It was a great relief to turn and walk away, commanding his legs to move, his mind to work.

  When distance had been gained and the protection of the ship was close to hand, only then could he turn and watch the proceedings with anything resembling composure.

  Both groups had approached the small pavilion set up to provide shade, and the diplomats were signing to the Felinian delegation.

  Auri noticed the Felinians never spoke to each other, only a glance or a faint movement; they must be mind speaking. He had to admire their lack of expression; it was impossible to interpret what they were thinking or feeling. It was difficult to tell if this was their normal demeanor or a response to the representatives of the Empire.

  As the day wore on, the heat rose and with it the humidity. Auri wiped surreptitiously at his face. His uniform was hot, definitely not made for a climate such as this. No wonder the Felinians wore so little. Combined with fur, they would never have been able to stand the heat.

  The others stood at ease, leaning on the ship or whatever was available, but Auri stood at parade rest, refusing to display the same attitude. He was a representative of the Empire and he wanted these people to understand there was no weakness here, that they were being watched.

  His eyes scanned the trees constantly, for the almost eerie arrival of the four made him realize many more were probably just beyond their sight.

  He longed to use sensors to confirm this, but the captain had forbade it, stating that the Felinians had their own ways of knowing when they were being spied on and would not appreciate the gesture, perhaps leading to the breaking of the talks.

  Auri was almost itchy with the feeling of being watched. He was careful not to look in the direction of the four beneath the pavilion, though he felt strongly more than once that the tall one looked his way.

  He chastised himself harshly. He had dealt with many types of races, many hostile, many merely curious. He was no novice to holding his own amongst warriors, so this uneasiness was unfamiliar, bothersome.

  It was pure relief when the day began to fade and the heat slowly lessened. Torches were lit about the clearing and a meal was arranged, some from the ship and some brought by the four Felinians.

  Auri, as first lieutenant, found himself seated next to one of the Felinians, fortunately not the tall one. He was greatly discomfited by the presence beside him, but could only stare in amazement as the other addressed him in Auri’s own language…flawlessly.

  “I am Kaseer. I am pleased to meet you, Lieutenant…?”

  It was an effort to recall himself swiftly enough to avoid insult.

  “Auri. Lieutenant Auri.” He nodded respectfully, unsure if the offer of a handshake was taboo. Certainly the diplomats had not offered such useful information as this during their spiels on protocol.

  “Auri.” Kaseer mulled over the name as though it must be remembered. “This is your first time here, I think.”

  Auri smiled slightly, cautiously. “Is it that evident?”

  Kaseer smiled back, displaying fearsome teeth. “If your admiration of our trees is any indication, yes.”

  Auri flushed a little, wondering if he was being mocked, though there was none of that in the other’s tone. “They are incredible. Your world is very beautiful.”

  Kaseer nodded, pleased. “Thank you, Auri. We are proud of it, and it is nice to hear that others appreciate it also. We have not heard that from any other who has come.”

  Auri shrugged a little, embarrassed. “I spend a lot of time in forested areas like this when I have relief of duty. Perhaps I am just more aware of such things.”

  Kaseer tilted his head. “Your mate goes with you?”

  Auri flushed a little more. “I am not mated yet.”

  Kaseer grinned. “I am about to be mated for the first time, within a week or so. I am the most fortunate of Felin.”

  Auri swallowed hard. “Your mate is Felin?”

  “Oh, no, human. He is wonderful, and we love each other very much. It has been a long wait for us both.”

  Auri sorted through his thoughts, hoping to prevent saying something that could cause offense. “Is he why you speak my language so very well?”

  Kaseer shook his head. “No my tasmer—my father second—was human.”

  Auri could not believe his ears, and it took a moment for him to respond appropriately. “But…you look full Felinian.” He flinched then, wondering if the statement was a major faux paus.

  Kaseer didn’t seem to think so. He just smiled. “I think you misunderstand, Lieutenant. I was born of a Felin female, but I count all my father’s mates as my parents. The mates are known as tasmer, meaning mate father.”

  “Your tasmer was a captive?” Auri could not help the question, even if it were insulting.

  Kasmeer looked at him strangely. “No, he was part of one of the original groups of colonists.” His tone plainly said he could not understand the question.

  Auri was as confused as he was. “Colonists?”

  The Felin looked at though he thought Auri was not quite right in the head. “The human colonists who come as mates.”

  Auri blinked.

  Kaseer frowned. “This was part of the agreement with the Empire upon cessation of hostilities. How do you not know this as officer?”

  Auri fought to understand. “There have been groups of humans coming to your world as mates for that long? Willingly?”

  “Of course. They know they will be well taken care of, and there are those whose lives were not so good before they came to us. They are grateful for the opportunity for a new start. Why do you not know of this?”

  “That’s a damn good question,” Auri muttered. No one he knew had ever mentioned this, and it was too good a story to be hidden for so long. He looked up at the Felin. “Is that part of the talks now? More humans?”

  Kaseer nodded. “There are never enough, and it is sad so many cannot mate. I am very, very fortunate as I said.”

  His keen glance returned to Auri. “It is concerning you have no mate. You have one in mind?”

  Auri shook his head. “I have my job; that is more important. I want no mate.” He frowned at the look of near pity upon the Felin’s face, wondering why he almost felt like he had to defend himself.

  He sighed with relief when his captain stood to leave and he could mirror the action. “It was good to speak with you, Kaseer. Thank you for sharing a bit of your life with me. I hope for your happiness in the future with your mate.”

  “That is kind, Auri. I will speak to you soon.”

  Auri shook his head. “We leave tomorrow, Kaseer. I am sorry.”

  The Felin smiled faintly and did not answer.

  Auri followed Janred with great relief. He was so ready to leave this place. The familiarity of the ship was like an embrace. Here he was safe.

  Chapter Two

  Auri woke the next day with a raging headache and a feeling he would be far better off if he just stayed in bed. Somehow he did not think the captain would agree with him, so he dragged himself up and took painkillers, hoping the day would at least be quiet if nothing else.

  He ate sparingly and went to ensure the preparations for departure were going smoothly. Astlani looked up distractedly at his entrance.

  “The captain is looking for you. Seems you made an impression last nigh
t and now have to pay for it.”

  Auri frowned at him questioningly.

  “The diplomatic party has chosen you to go with them for the final signing instead of the captain.”

  Auri rolled his eyes in exasperation. “I don’t have time for that nonsense…”

  Astlani grinned. “Tell that to the captain.”

  Grumbling, Auri went in search of Janred. Finding him standing just outside the hatch, talking with several of the security team, he went to his side and stood silently, waiting.

  The captain jumped as he turned. “Gods, Lieutenant, you are going to shorten my lifespan with your stealth.” He caught the scowl. “I gather Astlani told you of the honor you have been accorded?”

  Auri fought to keep his expression neutral. “With all due respect, Captain, why me? I hear it is in some sacred place nearby and few are allowed. This is your honor not mine.”

  The captain shook his head. “Apparently your behavior has convinced the Felinians you are trustworthy enough to be allowed access to their site. Do not underestimate this, Lieutenant. It is something few are granted. Even the diplomatic team can only have two go.”

  “Then there will only be three of us?” Auri felt a stirring of unease.

  “Five actually. Two of the security staff also.”

  Auri wished that made him feel better. He could not understand his own worry. He had never felt this in situations far worse. Why now?

  He sighed at his own fancies. “Am I to

  understand then, Captain, that you wish me to go?”

  Janred smiled. “If it makes you feel better, it is an order. We have to be careful not to offend these people and for one of us to turn down an honoring…”

  Auri nodded, resigned. “Yes, sir. I will do this. We are ready for departure. I have checked.”

  Janred chuckled. “This is part of your duties also, Lieutenant. I hardly think you are slacking. We will leave on schedule upon the return of your party.”