The Girl You Gave Away: An absolutely gripping psychological thriller

by Jess Ryder

  ‘No. I think she could be punishing me for not telling her before. Or maybe she’s even trying to get me and my husband back together, I don’t know …’ I trailed off, embarrassed at all this washing of dirty linen.

  DC Gonzalez scribbled another note. ‘I didn’t realise you and your husband were separated. Is that recent?’

  I nodded. ‘We’re together on this one, though. We both want Chloe back.’

  ‘Of course … Do you have any other info about Jade? Date of birth, perhaps?’

  ‘Yes, obviously I have that,’ I snapped, reeling it off. ‘She lives somewhere in east London … I’m sorry, that’s not much help. Chloe sent her text from the Wetlands, near Walthamstow. My husband’s there at the moment, trying to find her.’

  She wrote it all down. ‘Okay, that’s good. I’ll run her through the database, see if an address comes up. If it does, we’ll pay a visit, try to talk to Chloe.’

  ‘Thanks. I’d be really grateful.’

  The detective paused as her colleague, who’d been upstairs in Chloe’s room, came down. He was holding a transparent evidence bag containing what looked like a diary. I’d never seen it before and immediately wondered what she’d been writing about – whether there was anything in it about me.

  ‘I just need to ask you one more thing, Erin. Have you any reason to suspect that Chloe’s sister – sorry, half-sister – might mean her any harm?’

  ‘No, not at all. Jade seems really pleased to have found her – they’ve formed a bit of a bond.’

  ‘Well that’s good to know,’ she said, flipping her notebook shut.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Jade

  May 2020

  ‘What do you mean, you dumped it?’ says Chloe, sitting up in Mia’s bed. Jade’s prisoner – for that’s how she sees her sister now – woke up a few minutes ago, and of course, her bloody mobile was the first thing she asked for.

  ‘I had no choice. I was worried there was a tracker on it.’

  ‘I already told you there wasn’t. Anyway, it wasn’t switched on, so—’

  ‘You don’t understand, it was still a security risk. There’s technology only the police have; they can locate phones even when they’re switched off. At least they can on the telly.’ Jade rests a mug on the bedside cabinet. ‘I made you some tea.’

  Chloe folds her arms crossly. ‘That phone cost four hundred quid. It was a birthday present.’

  ‘So what? She’ll buy you another even posher one. Anything to get you to come home. You wait, she’ll be putty in your hands – you’ll be able to ask for whatever you like.’

  ‘You don’t know my mum.’

  The remark slaps Jade across the face. ‘No, you’re right, I don’t. Never got the chance. She gave me away when I was about an hour old, remember?’

  Chloe grimaces. ‘Sorry, didn’t mean that …’

  ‘You’ve got all the power. She loves you; you’re really precious to her. She doesn’t give a shit about me, doesn’t care whether I live or die. But you … you’re special, you can hit her right here.’ Jade punches her chest theatrically. ‘Where it hurts the most.’

  ‘Okay, I get it. You still didn’t have to destroy my phone. I need it to talk to my friends. I can’t live without it.’

  Jade decides to ignore this ridiculous remark. ‘I’ll make some breakfast. Toast or cereal? If you’re really nice to me, I’ll bring it to you in bed.’

  ‘I’m not hungry.’

  ‘Got to keep your strength up.’

  Chloe picks up the mug of tea and wrinkles her nose as she takes a sip. ‘It’s what, Tuesday today? Maybe I’ll stay until the end of the week. That should be long enough to make her suffer.’

  Jade puts on a wounded expression. ‘What’s a few days compared to all those months I was in the womb having my brain damaged?’

  ‘Yeah, I know, but …’

  ‘You said you wanted to make her pay. Those were your exact words.’

  ‘I do.’

  ‘Then let’s do it. Let’s make her think you’re dead.’ Chloe suddenly looks scared, so Jade has to reel it in a bit. ‘What I mean is, let’s make her think you’ve left home for good and she’s never going to see you again. Then you’ll turn up and go, like, “Hi, Mum, I’m back!” She’ll never mess with you again, I promise.’

  ‘Hmm …’

  ‘But you have to stay strong, stick to the plan. Keep off social media, don’t step out of the door unless I give you the all-clear.’

  ‘I’m not sure I—’

  ‘I’ll look after you, don’t worry. You’ve got everything you need here. Food, drink, Netflix … You don’t even have to go to school.’

  ‘I like school.’

  ‘Whatever. Get up, have a shower, put on some clean clothes. And quit whining.’

  Jade leaves the bedroom and goes into the kitchen in search of breakfast. She’s feeling anxious; the quivering in her stomach is like the beginnings of a panic attack. It’s hard putting on an act, playing the bossy big sister – pushing other people about doesn’t come naturally, but it has to be done.

  She opens the cupboard and takes out a packet of cornflakes. Chloe is making such a fuss over her phone, the spoilt brat. Four hundred quid, eh? Jade’s lip curls in disapproval. Her parents never spent that kind of money on her, even though they earned a fortune.

  Chloe ran away less than twenty-four hours ago and already she’s starting to weaken. By Jade’s calculations, she needs to be missing for at least a month for her death to seem like a real possibility. If she won’t cooperate, she’ll have to be forced.

  Not that Jade wants to hurt her sister. Despite her criminal record for common assault, she doesn’t consider herself a violent person. She only lashes out when other people push her buttons, or when she can’t cope. Even then, she tends to damage property rather than people. And it’s never … what’s the word? … premeditated. Not usually, anyway.

  She leans against the counter, crunching her way through her cornflakes and staring through the window at a square of grey sky.

  Chloe emerges from the bedroom wearing what looks suspiciously like one of Mia’s dressing gowns. It makes Jade start, as if she’s seen a ghost. Her hair is wet, hanging in fat lumps around her face.

  ‘Jade? Can I ask you something? Why did you get in touch with Mum? What was the plan, what did you want from her? It sounded like you wanted a relationship, like you really loved her, but were you faking?’

  ‘Sort of.’ In truth, Jade can’t remember exactly what she was feeling at the time; it’s all a bit of blur, a mishmash of emotions she can’t identify. There certainly wasn’t a plan, not in the beginning. ‘I think … maybe I wanted her to own up about what she did to me,’ she replies cautiously. ‘But she never mentioned it.’

  Chloe pours herself a glass of water from the tap. ‘Maybe she didn’t know.’

  ‘Didn’t know she was drinking and using while she was pregnant?’

  ‘I mean, maybe she didn’t know she was pregnant, or maybe she wasn’t aware of the damage it could do.’

  ‘Everyone knows you mustn’t drink alcohol while you’re pregnant. They knew even in those days. She just didn’t care.’

  ‘But she was so young, only my age. And I’ve been thinking …’ Chloe pauses to slurp her water, licking her lips nervously. ‘Mum doesn’t drink, not ever, not even at Christmas, not even when my dad got made head of department. She’s always said she doesn’t like the taste, but now I’m wondering … Maybe it’s some kind of … penance. Like a Catholic thing. Mum was brought up a Catholic, you see, so maybe …’

  Jade turns to her, fists clenched, face like thunder. She suddenly feels so angry she could stab Chloe with one of those blades in the knife block. ‘So that makes it all right, does it? She gives up the booze and God forgives her. Yay! She fucked my brain up, but who cares?’

  ‘I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just saying—’

  ‘Well don’t.’

  Jad
e storms past her into the lounge, frightened of what she’ll do if she doesn’t manage to calm down. Things are going from bad to worse. To begin with, Chloe was well up for making her birth mum suffer; now she’s making excuses for the cow.

  ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,’ Chloe says, following her. ‘You’re right. Nothing can make up for what she did to you. She deserves to be punished.’

  ‘Yes, she does. And you’re going to help me do it.’

  Chloe goes back to the bedroom to ‘tidy up’. She asks to borrow a hairdryer and spends ages in front of Mia’s dressing table mirror, racking up the electricity bill.

  That was close, thinks Jade. Her heart has stopped racing and the singing in her head has faded, but she still feels very pent up. If Chloe comes out with any more rubbish like that, she can’t be held responsible.

  She decides to go out, take a break. There are a few things she needs to pick up from the DIY superstore. Also, they’ve nearly run out of bread and milk. She should buy some ready meals – stock up for the long wait ahead. They can’t live on toast for the next month. Jade never cooks for herself, unless it’s a bacon sandwich. She’s used to surviving on takeaways from the chicken shop and frozen pizzas.

  ‘I’m just popping to the mini mart,’ she calls out, copying the expression Mummy always uses, although she only ever ‘pops’ to Waitrose.

  Chloe comes to the doorway. ‘Wait for me. I’ll come with you.’

  ‘No. We agreed, you have to stay in the flat.’

  ‘But it’s really stuffy in here.’

  ‘Go on the balcony.’

  ‘No way … I can’t even look out of the window. Please?’

  Jade pretends to give the matter serious consideration. ‘Later, when it’s dark.’

  Appeased by this lie, Chloe returns to the bedroom and the hairdryer blasts back into action. Jade picks up a couple of carrier bags and leaves the flat, deadlocking the front door as before.

  She goes to the DIY place first, raising her hood before she passes through the turnstile. Her head is down, eyes fixed on the floor, which makes it quite hard to find the aisle she needs. But she’s watched enough episodes of Crimewatch to know that detectives always look at CCTV footage, and she doesn’t want to get caught out.

  The items in her basket are incriminating enough: wide silver tape, some plastic sheeting and a large bottle of bleach. Not premeditated, just precautionary. There’s a world of difference in Jade’s mind, although she’s not sure a jury would see it that way. But it won’t come to that. As long as Chloe does as she’s told, she’ll be fine. They might even have fun together.

  She stops off at the mini mart and stocks up on a few basics, plus a stack of frozen pizzas, bags of oven chips, crispy onion rings and chicken Kiev balls. A two-litre bottle of Coke and a four-pack of lagers completes the haul.

  Her arms ache as she carries the shopping back to the flat. There are no police about, which is a relief. Not that there’s any particular reason why they’d be looking for Chloe round here. They don’t know for sure that she’s with her sister, although Erin has probably twigged by now. But more crucially, nobody knows that Jade lives on this estate, other than Mia and Amy of course, and they’re abroad.

  ‘Hi, I’m back,’ she calls out as she enters the flat. Chloe is lying on the sofa flicking through channels on the telly.

  ‘You locked me in,’ she says accusingly.

  ‘Did I? Sorry, it was automatic. I’m used to being on my own, see, forgot you were there.’

  ‘No you didn’t. You locked me in so I couldn’t leave.’ She turns off the telly and stands up. There’s a defiant expression on her face that Jade doesn’t like very much.

  ‘Why did you even try? We agreed you wouldn’t go out until later.’

  ‘I wanted some fresh air, that’s all. A quick walk around the block.’

  ‘Well it’s a good job you were locked in,’ says Jade, trying a different approach. ‘The place is swarming with cops.’

  ‘Really? What – looking for me?’ Chloe stares at her wide-eyed. Really, the kid is so gullible.

  ‘I don’t know. Maybe. I didn’t want to get too close in case they recognised me.’ Jade pushes the hood off her head and goes back to the carriers. ‘Right. I need to put this stuff in the freezer.’

  ‘I don’t think I can stand being cooped up in here all the time,’ Chloe says as she watches Jade unpack.

  ‘You haven’t even managed a day yet. Mia used to be stuck here for weeks on end; she was too ill to go out, but she never complained about it. Stop being such a brat.’

  Chloe inhales deeply. ‘You can’t talk to me like that.’

  ‘I’m your big sister, I can say what I like.’

  ‘No you fucking can’t.’

  ‘Don’t you swear at me.’

  ‘Will if I want to.’

  ‘Fuck off!’

  ‘No, you fuck off! You’re not in charge of me. I’m going home.’

  Chloe reaches for her jacket and makes for the door, but Jade rushes to block the way. ‘No you’re not. You’re staying here. That’s the plan.’

  ‘It’s a stupid plan. I don’t want to be part of it.’

  ‘But you said you wanted to make—’

  ‘I know, and I meant it, but I can’t do this. It’s not just Mum who’ll worry, it’s Dad too. And Oli, and all my friends. I need my phone, I need fresh air—’

  ‘All right! If it’s fresh air you want …’ Jade lunges at her, twisting her arm around her back until she screams, then frogmarches her onto the balcony.

  A sharp wind whistles across the face of the building. Jade jams her sister up against the metal railings and pushes her head down, forcing her to look all the way to the ground below.

  Chloe is gasping for breath. She tries to shout, but her mouth has dried with fear and all she can do is emit a tiny squawk.

  ‘Don’t even think about calling for help,’ whispers Jade. ‘One word and I’ll drop you over the edge, understand? Don’t think I wouldn’t dare. I’ll say it was suicide. Aww, poor Chloe, she was so depressed, so upset about what her mother had done to her sister. I tried to help, but there was nothing I could do. She threw herself off and I couldn’t stop her.’ She tightens her grip. ‘That story would work, wouldn’t it? Serve both of you right.’

  Chloe is whimpering. Jade pulls her from the brink and shoves her back into the lounge. She falls headlong onto the carpet and lies there shaking and weeping.

  ‘Please don’t hurt me,’ she says. ‘I’ll do anything you say. I’ll stay here as long as you like. I won’t ever go out, I promise. Just don’t make me go out there again.’

  ‘Okay, that’s good. I’m glad you’ve seen sense.’ Jade looks down at her little sister squirming like a frightened worm. ‘The trouble is, can I trust you? Hmm, not sure I can.’ She goes back to the shopping bags and takes out the reel of tape.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Erin

  May 2020

  I was in a daze, needing to do something yet at the same time paralysed. I was desperate to go and search for Chloe myself, but I was frightened of leaving the house in case she turned up. I wanted to be there ready to welcome her with open arms; to feel the warmth of her as we hugged and kissed and she promised never to run away again.

  I rang Tom. He’d been to the Wetlands and looked all around but hadn’t found Chloe. The area was mostly industrial; he’d knocked on the nearest houses and asked in a couple of shops, but nobody had admitted to knowing anything or been at all willing to help.

  ‘At least you tried,’ I said. ‘Thanks.’

  ‘You don’t have to thank me,’ he snipped. ‘She’s my daughter too.’ I didn’t have the strength to reply. ‘So, what’s happening at your end? Did you call the police?’

  ‘Yes, of course. They sent two officers over – they searched Chloe’s room and I had to give them a photo.’ I heard his breath catch. ‘They didn’t seem overly concerned. They’re trying to locat
e an address for Jade. I haven’t heard back yet.’

  He sighed heavily. ‘What is she playing at?’

  ‘I don’t know … I’m sorry, Tom.’

  ‘I should have made her come with me and Oli.’

  I felt myself bridle. ‘Perhaps you shouldn’t have left in the first place. That’s what destabilised everything.’

  ‘At least she would have been safe at my mother’s,’ he huffed.

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  ‘Well, she wouldn’t have gone missing.’

  ‘She’s not missing, she’s run away; that’s completely different,’ I protested, although I wasn’t convinced myself. ‘Please, let’s not fall out. We need to pull together.’

  ‘Yeah, yeah … I’m going to hang around the area for a bit, see if I can spot her. Call me as soon as you hear anything from the police.’

  I promised I would, and he rang off.

  * * *

  It was mid-morning when DC Gonzalez finally got in touch. My heart leapt optimistically when I heard her voice, but the little news she had was worrying.

  ‘I did some searches and Jade Fernsby came up on the national database,’ she said. ‘She has a few minor convictions; nothing too serious, but we’re raising the level of our investigation to medium. I spoke to a colleague in the local borough who knows her. He told me she was homeless for a while but was given a place at a local hostel last year. It’s a halfway house for vulnerable adults.’

  ‘What … what does that mean?’ I asked, feeling uneasy.

  ‘I guess you know Jade has learning difficulties.’

  ‘Um … not really. What sort of difficulties?’

  ‘I don’t know the details, sorry. Anyway, I rang the hostel, but apparently she moved out a few weeks ago. I managed to talk to her key worker, who said she’d been volunteering in a charity shop, so I contacted them but they haven’t seen her for over a week. She walked out one lunchtime and never came back.’

  ‘Did the shop have an address for her?’