Building New Canaan - The Complete Series - A Colonization and Exploration Space Adventure
Page 49
Stefana had listened in silence. She waited several moments, giving Isa time to say more.
When she didn’t, Stefana said, “I’m sorry. That has to be a horrible way to live.”
“No,” Isa protested. “It really isn’t. I have so much happening in my life, and people who love me—”
She remembered Martin, and her chest grew tight.
“But still, why go through all that when you don’t have to? You must know there are treatments for your psychological problems. I’m not a doctor, but I’m sure there’s a lot they could do to help you.”
Isa pressed her lips together and shook her head.
“Why not ask?” Stefana asked.
“I know about the treatments you mean,” Isa said. “You’re talking about memory modification. I don’t want that. I don’t want to forget those times.”
“Huh? Why would you want to cling to a past that keeps returning to haunt you?”
“It isn’t the past I want to hold on to,” said Isa. “It’s the people. Don’t you see? There’s nothing left of them. All they are is memories, and if mine are wiped, all those people will be gone forever. It’ll be like killing them again.”
Stefana shut her eyes. When she opened them again, they were wet. “I don’t think it has to be like that. Let me speak to someone for you, okay?”
Isa wasn’t at all convinced that Stefana was right, but she said, “Okay. If you want.”
The medic left, and Isa lay back on her pillows, suddenly exhausted. She slipped into sleep.
* * * * *
When she awoke for the second time, all her fogginess was gone, and the harsh reality of everything that had happened returned to her with a brutal speed. As she pushed down her covers and opened her eyes, she saw someone on their way out of her room. The person turned at the sound of Isa’s movements.
“Ah,” the doctor said, “I hope I didn’t wake you.”
“No, I don’t think so,” Isa said and covered her mouth as she yawned.
“My name’s Dr. Hicks. Stefana, one of the hospital’s medics, came to see me earlier. About you. I believe she told you she was going to?” He smiled a small, slightly flustered smile.
“She did,” Isa said, “and I appreciate her concern for me, but I won’t be using your services. I can manage. I’m fine really.”
“Hmm… Perhaps if I could explain?”
Isa checked the time. It was mid-afternoon, so she had several hours to wait for Erin. “Go ahead,” she said heavily. She pulled herself upright and rested her arms over her covers.
“From what Stefana told me, I think you may have underestimated how far along we are with memory manipulation techniques,” Dr. Hicks said. “You seem to believe that all we can do is wipe selected memories. That isn’t true.”
“Really?”
“Really. The technique is far more advanced than that. It’s as selective as we need it to be. We can achieve a lot more than you probably imagine. I don’t want to be too premature…. I would need to complete a full assessment before I can suggest the exact ways we might help you, but in my opinion, you would be unwise to dismiss the treatment out of hand.”
When she hesitated, Dr. Hicks said, “Isa, what do you have to lose?”
He was right, she knew she couldn’t keep living like this. If Stefana and these doctors could see it impacting her, so must everyone else. “Okay,” she said.
Dr. Hicks contacted his colleague, Dr. Gabriel, and when the second doctor arrived, Isa had to go over everything she’d told Stefana, and more besides. The doctors asked her numerous questions about her memories and their associated emotions. They also asked her about all the mental symptoms she’d experienced over the years, their frequency and timing of their occurrence. By the time the assessment session was finally finished, Isa was tired of speaking about it all.
“Seems straightforward enough to me,” Dr. Hicks said to his colleague. “What do you think?”
“Textbook,” Dr. Gabriel replied. She said to Isa, “I’m very confident we can treat you. We can perform something called a limbic decoupling. You won’t lose your traumatic memories, but you won’t experience the negative emotions you currently associate with them. As a result, over time, the flashbacks and nightmares you suffer should gradually decrease, because your subconscious will have nothing to feed off.”
“I won’t forget anything?”
“Not a thing,” Dr. Hicks said. “You’ll be able to recall people, places, and events just the same as you can now, only the memories won’t have the same traumatic effects that you’ve been experiencing.”
“That does sound different from what I imagined,” Isa said. “But I don’t know. It almost feels wrong somehow. Like cheating.”
“Cheating?” Dr. Gabriel raised her eyebrows at Hicks.
“I mean, those things happened. They were bad. It’s normal that I should feel bad when I remember them.”
“Okay,” Dr. Hicks said. “I think I understand you, though my guess is that your objection is a symptom of your condition. But look at it like this. You came here yesterday with….” He looked up as he read her notes on the Link. “A shot to your thigh, abrasions on your hands and knees, severe dehydration, and head trauma. Right?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re better now? Everything fixed? Feel okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Good. Now would you say the treatment you received today was cheating? Would it have been fairer somehow if the doctors let you suffer a bit more, or maybe just didn’t treat you at all and let you heal over the course of weeks or months?”
Isa had no counterargument. “I see what you’re saying.”
“Great,” Dr. Gabriel said. “I’m glad we got that sorted out. So do you want to go ahead? It isn’t a run-of-the-mill treatment, but we’re pretty good at it, if I do say so myself. You’re not the first person—Noctus or otherwise—to have issues with what we all left behind.” She gave Hicks a knowing look, but then smiled at Isa. “It only takes an hour or so, depending on how many memories we treat. In your case, I would say a couple of hours, tops.”
“Okay then,” said Isa, feeling like a massive weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
“You want to do it?” Hicks asked. He clasped his hands together, looking like a kid who’d been given the Link access.
Fighting the urge to laugh, Isa said, “Yes, I do.”
“You don’t want to think about it for a while?” Dr. Gabriel asked. “You can come back any time, or have the treatment performed on Carthage. You’re from there, right?”
“Yeah, I am,” Isa replied. “No, now that I’ve decided, I want to get it over with. What about now?”
“If you’re positive this is what you want, now would be fine,” said Dr. Hicks.
* * * * *
Erin looked tired when she walked into Isa’s hospital room that evening. Isa was happy to see her and very ready to leave.
“Sorry I’m so late,” Erin said. “Lots of clearing up to do.”
“Oh yeah? What all were you up to?” Isa asked.
“I was helping to dismantle the bombs and catalogue the antimatter, making sure it was all accounted for—which it has been, barring what we estimated went off here and on Irridia. Can’t leave that stuff lying around. But we got it all and it’s on its way to the Intrepid now. Safely out of the way of sticky-fingered terrorists.”
Isa said. “So you’ve been all over Tyre?”
“Yeah, just about,” Erin replied. “That’s why it took me so long. I’ve been to Samuel Jefferson’s vineyards. Every single one. I’ve never seen vineyards with so few grapevines before. Like, zero.”
“It’s just as well,” said Isa. “I bet any wine he made would have tasted terrible. So that’s where the SSS had planted the bombs?”
“Yeah,” Erin said. “I figured it out eventually. Tyre’s an interesting place. It’s a pity we have to leave, but I expect Tanis is going to want to conduct a f
ace-to-face debriefing as soon as possible. This whole thing turned out to be bigger than we imagined. I hope New Canaan isn’t harboring any more SSS scum.”
“A debriefing? Will I have to go too?” Isa asked.
“Almost certainly. You were hanging out with a terrorist cell, after all.”
“I was, wasn’t I?” Isa said almost dejectedly. “And there I was thinking I was making a boring old infomentary. So I’ll get to meet the governor of New Canaan.”
“You haven’t met her yet?”
“No. What’s she like?” Isa asked.
“Tanis is really nice,” Erin replied, “in a scary kind of way.”
“Nice, but scary. Hmm. You aren’t exactly selling her, you know.”
“Don’t stress about it,” said Erin. “Just answer her questions as well as you can, and you’ll be fine.”
“I’m not stressing about it,” Isa said. “In fact, I’ve never felt better.”
Erin hugged her. “You look great. I can hardly believe you’re the same person I watched the Marines carry out of the cave a little over a day ago. The wonders of medicine, huh?
“Yep,” Isa said. “The wonders of medicine. But we should go see him, then get a good night’s sleep.”
They were too late to catch that evening’s flight to Carthage, but Isa was looking forward to going home the next day. She’d had enough of Tyre for the moment. Though she hadn’t completed the infomentary for Placement Services, she was pretty sure her old boss, Stanford, would allow her some time to recuperate. She would return to the planet one day soon, though she didn’t think she would ever see it in the same light again.
“Sure,” Erin said as she stood and offered Isa her hand. “It’s time to visit Martin.”
AFTER ACTION
STELLAR DATE: 03.27.8937 (Adjusted Years)
LOCATION: Parliamentary Buildings, Landfall, Knossos Island
REGION: Carthage, New Canaan System
“What do you think?” Tanis asked as Erin stepped out of the groundcar and walked up to the wooden house on the hill.
She watched Erin take in the sights around them: the house with a wraparound veranda; beyond, a grassy slope that led down to a lake; and to the right, a long barn with corrals alongside it.
“You know…without the barn, it would look a lot like your lakehouse on the Intrepid,” Erin said at last.
Tanis laughed softly as she held out her hand to clasp Erin’s. “Well, I’d like to think I did better work on this one. At least it hasn’t seen so many renovations that it tremors at the sight of a hammer.”
Erin barked a short laugh. “You seem a lot more relaxed, Governor.”
Tanis groaned. “Not out here, you don’t. That’s ‘Tanis’ to you. And as for being more relaxed, well, not having to worry about a bunch of SSS terrorists trying to destroy a planet with stolen antimatter does make me feel a lot better.”
“You and me both,” Erin replied as they turned and walked toward the house. “I’m sorry I didn’t pick up on Pippa’s duplicity sooner.”
“There were a few errors made,” Tanis said darkly. “One of them in the enforcement of certain policies pertaining to the visual examination of antimatter reserves.”
Erin pursed her lips. “How did that happen, anyway? I don’t see how the Eos could have gone that long without anyone noticing.”
“They picked the right ship at the right time,” Tanis said as they climbed the steps to the veranda and walked around the perimeter of the house.
“The Eos’s crew was scheduled for shore leave, but the ship didn’t need any significant refit. I’m not going to name names, but there’s a chief of boat who won’t be chief of anything for a while, on account of heading to Athens without first verifying the antimatter reserves.”
“Damn,” Erin shook her head. “How…” She was at a loss for words and took the seat on rear deck that Tanis offered.
“Well, not everyone spent as much time out of stasis at Kapteyn’s Star as you and I did, Erin. To them, this is still the promised land, the utopia we all thought we’d come to. Even though we had to fight tooth and nail to get here…well, to a lot of people, those are just stories. Not something they had to live through.”
“I’ll not forget the cleanup on Victoria,” Erin said quietly. “Half the damage to that world was from our own ships.”
“Not our finest hour,” Tanis agreed. “But a lot of voices in the parliament had been clamoring for a decrease in our militarization. I’ve been trying to explain that we face real threats without. And now, it seems, within.”
“Does that mean you got the opposition to back down?” Erin asked.
Tanis nodded as a servitor came out with two glasses and a pitcher of lemonade. “Though it was an internal threat, the near destruction of a planet showed that we still must remain vigilant. And unlike the business with Hart, it’s something that everyone knows about. I won my resolution in parliament, and we’re going to start to see a few changes, Erin.”
Though Tanis knew that Erin understood what the stakes were—better than most—she could still see a hint of worry in the other woman’s face.
“That sounds ominous, Tanis.”
“Maybe a bit,” Tanis replied with a solemn nod. “But on top of this, the Transcend has increased the strength of their fleet at the heliopause. This may seem like a paradise, but make no mistake, we’re under siege. I’ve finally managed to convince all the right people of that, and can move forward with the next step for the fleet.”
Erin lifted the glass of lemonade that the servitor had poured. “You know, Tanis. When I joined the colony mission, it was to build space stations. You know, nice, clean, orbital things where people live?”
“What?” Tanis asked with a wink. “You got to build High Victoria, wasn’t that enough?”
“Tanis….”
“I’m kidding. Of course I know that’s where your heart is—well, there and other places.”
Erin chuckled and took another sip of her lemonade. “I have an idea for an amazing station. I’ve been calling it ‘The Palisades’.
“Oh?” Tanis raised a brow. “That sounds like good name. Tell me about it.”
Erin brought up a holo and began to relate the station’s design and attributes to Tanis in the excited tones that only a true engineer could muster.
Tanis had to admit that it looked like a fantastic facility, and could make for a great location for running the ISF’s training academy.
As Erin was wrapping up, Angela interrupted.
The women looked up to see two figures approaching on horseback, and Tanis rose. “Erin, would you like to say hi to Cary and Joe?”
Erin rose with a smile on her face. “Would I? It’s been ages since I’ve seen your little girl.”
PICNIC ON THE SAND
STELLAR DATE: 06.02.8937 (Adjusted Years)
LOCATION: Marine Eco Station #14, Knossos Island
REGION: Carthage, New Canaan System
Isa spread a blanket on the sand and sat down. She took the cover off a large basket and lifted out the contents one by one, putting them down on the blanket. Cheese, olives, pickles, grapes, ham, salami, hummus, smoked salmon, sliced tomatoes interleaved with fresh basil and drizzled in olive oil, peaches, strawberries, figs, chutneys, sliced cucumber, potato salad, cold chicken, melon wrapped in prosciutto, guacamole, blueberries, egg salad, and bread fresh from Landfall that morning. She took out plates and cutlery too and arranged them. Everything was set, but she was the only one around for the celebratory picnic lunch by the sea.
“Hey,” she called to Erin. “Am I going to have to eat all of this by myself?”
Erin’s head and neck were the only parts of her that were visible above the waves as she floated, rising up and down just beyond the shore.
“I want to stay out here a little longer,” Erin called back. “It’s so relaxing.”
“But you’ve been there for hours,” Isa complained.
Erin did look as if she was having a great time, Isa had to admit, and she was glad. It was hard for Erin to take time off from work. The governor always seemed to rely on her to do one thing or another, and Erin was too conscientious and responsible to protest about her workload. The truth was, she was too competent for her own good. Isa wondered if she should encourage her to try to be a bit more dispensable, though deep down she knew there wasn’t much point. Erin was who she was, and no amount of gentle persuasion or nagging would change that.
Isa put down her hands on the blanket behind her and leaned back, propping herself up on her straightened arms and taking in the scene. Canaan Prime was high in the sky, its rays glinting on the rolling waves of the Med. In the distance, the ever-present gas clouds rose into space, dissipating into clouds of vapor in the upper reaches of the cobalt sky.
All she could hear were the waves and the steady, salty breeze that blew toward her. The day was perfect. Not too hot or too cold, pretty much like most days on Carthage.
It was a scene Isa had witnessed many times and expected to see many times more, now that she’d decided to make that spot her home. She didn’t think she would ever tire of it. For the moment, though, it looked like she was going to be the only one on the beach to enjoy it for a while.
Isa decided to make a start on the food. She was ravenous, and if she waited for anyone to join her, she might have to wait all afternoon. She picked out a fresh strawberry and bit into it, savoring the sweet juice that burst out. Next, she took a handful of blueberries and popped them into her mouth, and then she chose a perfectly ripe, luscious fresh fig.
The sound of someone sloshing through the water made her look up. Erin had finally decided to come and eat. She was probably worried that Isa would eat all the figs if she left it too long. She was wearing the barely-there bikini she’d worn when they’d tsunami-surfed in Athens, and she looked fantastic as always, despite the months she’d spent off-world. Not that Erin gave the slightest thought to how she looked, Isa was sure.