Tell Me To Stay

by Winters, Willow

  “Ah, yes,” the maître d’ says and smiles brightly, graciously not saying anything about how I bumped into him two days ago when I walked out of those front doors crying. “Right this way.” He’s all politeness as he walks me back to a private room.

  I expect the table to be large, but it’s not.

  My pace slows, as does my heartbeat when I see the two of them waiting.

  Adrienne, with pearls and a simple black dress. Her head held high as she talks to the man next to her.

  Although it’s the back of his head, I already know it’s Madox. By the way he holds himself, it’s more than obvious to me. I can hear the timbre in his voice when he says something.

  Oh my fucking God. I can’t breathe.

  My mouth dries as I’m ushered to the third chair at the table and I keep my gaze on Adrienne.

  Don’t freak out. I breathe in and out slowly. Anger slowly drips into my blood. He better not have interfered with my work. Please, for fuck’s sake. I will murder him.

  My throat is tight when I take my seat. I’m stiff and my body is ice cold as I avoid Madox’s prying gaze. I can feel his eyes on me, but I can’t even look at him.

  “Sophie dear, I’m so happy you could make it tonight,” Adrienne says sweetly, like there’s nothing wrong in the least, and I force my lips into a tight smile. My gaze flicks to Madox. My heart beats once.

  His gaze is narrowed, his forehead creased.

  My heart beats even harder, even heavier.

  “I’d like you to meet my son,” she says although her voice barely registers.

  My heart beats a third time.

  This can’t be real.

  Please, no. Her son?

  My tight smile falters when I look at him. I don’t know what to do or say, but all I can think is that he set this up.

  That I didn’t earn my job. That I didn’t get here because I deserved it. That I was a fool to think I’d finally made it on my own.

  Suddenly, my lips feel dry, and I lick the bottom one as Madox tears his gaze from me to face his mother. “Madox, this lovely lady is Sophie. She’s recently been hired by the company I bought a while back that I told you about. The design and branding firm, do you recall?”

  With a racing pulse, I look between the two of them. Does he not know?

  My head is spinning, and I’m lost in a blur of questions.

  “Madox,” I say his name and I try to keep it polite, but still it comes out like a question, his name is uttered like a plea.

  “I already know Sophie, mother,” Madox informs Adrienne in a tone that’s far less than pleasant, and instantly I look down to the table, feeling smaller by the second.

  “What are you doing?” Madox’s voice is hard. At first I think his question is for me and I’m ready to lay into him and defend myself, but it’s not.

  “What do you mean?” His mother’s voice is an octave higher than I’ve heard before. The voice of a liar.

  “I don’t have time for this. What. Did. You. Do?” His voice is harder; firmer, with no forgiveness. It’s nearly cruel.

  I’ve never seen his mother or seen them together. It’s nauseating to watch. There is absolutely no love between them. In the four years we were together, Madox spent every day avoiding her. I didn’t feel bad for her because she never seemed to want to be with him, but right now, I feel dreadful for all of us.

  “Madox, please.” She merely admonishes him with disgust in her voice.

  Slowly I find my own backbone, looking between the two of them and still feeling sick to my stomach. Of course the waiter would come over the second I start to speak.

  “We’re not interested at the moment,” I bite out, and then feel awful for snapping at the innocent man. “I’m sorry,” I’m quick to add. “We just need a minute.” As soon as the waiter’s back is turned, I look back between the two of them. Madox looks nothing like her, but he’d always told me he was his father’s son.

  “I deserve an explanation,” I tell them, and my voice is hard but just. “What the hell is going on?”

  “Nothing.” Adrienne is the first to speak, raising both of her hands and feigning innocence. “I had no idea the two of you knew each other. I simply wanted you two to meet.”

  Madox considers his mother for all of a second before turning his attention to me.

  “I’m sorry,” he tells me. “I had no idea my mother brought you here.”

  Brought me here.

  Fuck.

  Fuck.

  I was right. I didn’t earn my position. She knew who I was. She did this for him.

  His mother starts to talk, but even I know there’s no way this is a coincidence.

  Madox’s patience is nowhere in sight. “Just tell the truth for once in your fucking life.”

  “Don’t speak to me like that,” his mother hisses.

  The tension at the table is palpable.

  “I think he feels betrayed,” I speak up, feeling an ache in my heart, a hole that grows larger with every second. “Just as I do, and I can’t figure out why you would do such a thing. I’m not angry at you for putting me into this very,” I make sure I lean forward and emphasize the next word, “uncomfortable position.” I have to swallow and when I do, both of them try to speak but I cut them off. “I am not finished.”

  Silence. The entire room is silent.

  “Madox is a good man,” I start to say, looking Adrienne in her eyes, noting how she still holds herself prim and proper as I continue, “to his core. And it’s obvious you’ve set this entire reunion up.” I glance at Madox, gauging his expression. If he knew, I’ll be crushed. Truly crushed that he would set me up to think I landed my dream job on my own.

  “I feel used,” I say and hate that the emotion comes through, “and I don’t know why you think it’s okay to lie.” Swallowing thickly, I feel the need to add, “Your son is the best thing that ever happened to me. He is genuine and kind, and he doesn’t deserve to be lied to. And neither do I.”

  Putting my hands up in defense I add, “I know there’s a lot between you two, but if you were more sincere, Adrienne, I know things wouldn’t be as bad as they are. And I certainly don’t have to sit here and be a spectator to this.”

  I don’t know how they got this way. I don’t know the details. But I do know I don’t deserve to sit here and feel this fucking uncomfortable.

  “I have to go,” I announce. Taking a deep breath, I look Adrienne in the eyes and say, “I can’t work for you any longer. I’m sorry.” As soon as the words have left me, it stings.

  Goodbye, dream job.

  Goodbye, New York.

  My gaze shifts to Madox, who still looks nothing but pissed. “Goodbye, Madox,” I whisper.

  Chapter 15

  Madox

  “I don’t understand what the hell you did.” I say the words as calmly as I can manage to my mother, feeling a wave of betrayal but also something else. She brought Sophie here? She knew about her?

  “Madox, please.” My mother’s voice is tinged with agony and it makes me pause after I stand up, ready to leave her.

  “I promise you, if I did anything-”

  “If?” The word comes out harder than I intend, and she flinches. She brought Sophie here. She brought her back to me. I can’t hold on to the anger, knowing my mother brought Sophie back to me. Regardless of what her reasoning was, so long as I can catch her and keep her from running off again.

  My mother’s hesitant to reach out and take my hand. I can’t remember the last time she’s touched me other than the polite hugs we exchange in public when I agree to see her. “I just want a chance…”

  “To what?” I ask her, the words pushed through my teeth. “To lie? To pretend like you did nothing?” My words turn harder, and the memories come flooding back. She didn’t even cry at his funeral. Behind closed doors she didn’t mind being real with my father. And the real version of her is a person I want nothing to do with.

  “I have to go get her,” I tell he
r before I can go back to what used to be.

  My mother doesn’t let go of my hand, although she still hasn’t stood up.

  “I can explain, Madox.” My mother’s words are hushed as she leans across the table, her forehead marred with a deep crease while worry is etched into her eyes. “Please, I can make this right, I just need to speak with Sophie.”

  I don’t even dignify her request with a response. I’ve already waited too long, knowing Sophie. If I wait any longer, I may never see her again.

  Just the thought of her hiding away until she can leave sends a visceral response through my chest. My pace quickens, my body fighting the urge to run.

  “Madox, please, I’m trying to help!” My mother’s cry carries through the restaurant as I leave the private room, doors swinging behind me.

  By the time I’ve exited the front doors, I spot her by her car, and then I do run. I run as quickly as I can, stepping out in front of a car pulling in for valet parking. My palm hits the hood of their car, only a few feet away as they slam on the brakes.

  Shit.

  They stop in time, but I don’t bother waiting to apologize.

  “Are you okay?” the doorman asks and calls out, “Sir!” but I don’t respond. They don’t matter. So long as I can run to her, that’s all that matters.

  Two rows up, Sophie’s staring over her shoulder at me, the car door open and the breeze blowing her hair behind her.

  Don’t run from me, Sophie, I pray as I stare straight ahead at her, moving even faster, ignoring another beep of a horn and a couple I brush past to get to her more quickly.

  “Sophie!” I call out to her in the crisp night air. My lungs burn from the chill and exertion. Surprise flashes in her eyes and I can see her swallow; I can see the pain lingering in her bright blue eyes.

  “Madox.” She says my name reverently as she closes her door, not getting in and turning to face me instead. Her arms wrap around herself and she takes two steps toward me by the time I stop in front of her.

  “Don’t leave.” The words slip from me before I can say anything else, and I take her arms in my hands, staring into her doe eyes. “Don’t leave.”

  My heart pumps hot blood, hard and fast. My body is ringing and my mind screaming, it’s now or never.

  “Did you know?” she asks me quietly, and it takes me a second to realize she’s referring to my mother and the shit she pulled.

  “I still don’t understand what the hell you were doing there.”

  “You didn’t know?” she continues to question as if I would lie to her.

  “I had no fucking idea you knew my mother, let alone that she hired you.”

  She considers me for a moment and then nods her head, looking as if she’s going to turn around and get back in her car she tells me, “That’s all I needed to know.”

  “I want you to stay. You told me to tell you; here I am.” My voice raises when she doesn’t answer me. “I would do anything to keep you. Stay with me. Whatever happened in there doesn’t matter. None of it matters.”

  I watch as she swallows and then takes a half step closer to me. “It mattered to me,” she says softly. Her lips part but she doesn’t speak, looking back at the doors to the restaurant. “I thought…”

  “I know. I know, Soph. I don’t know why my mother does the shit she does, but I understand if you’re feeling low right now.” I try to phrase my next words the right way, but I don’t know how to say what I’m feeling. I just want to be her person. I want her to let me love her.

  “I don’t want to fight, Madox,” she says weakly, wrapping her arms tighter around herself and it’s then that I note how cold it is. Instinctively, I try to take off my jacket, but I’m not wearing it. Fuck. I left it back in the restaurant.

  Can nothing go right when it comes to us? I can’t even give her my jacket when she’s obviously freezing.

  “Let’s go back inside. We don’t have to fight.”

  “We always end up fighting, and I feel like--”

  “The reasons we fought back then… it wasn’t dumb shit, Soph. We both went through rough shit and we were there for each other, but we were hurting.” I nearly swallow my next words, but she still looks like she’s going to run. “I hurt worse without you. I’m hurting now. I’m asking you to stay because I need you. I’m not okay. Sophie, I’m asking you to stay because I need you. Stay with me. Please.”

  Her baby blue eyes widen as she looks up at me, clinging to my words.

  “I realized something about myself. The way I handled things back then… When you walked away, there were things I could have said. Words that would have made you stay, because you needed to hear them. I hope I’m saying the right ones now. I don’t want you to leave here without me. I don’t want you to walk away without knowing I want you and I love you, and whatever shit my mother is doing, I don’t care about it or her. I just want you.”

  “Madox,” she pleads with me as she wipes her eyes and I don’t know what the wretched sound is pleading for. It’s hard to swallow, but it’s harder to swallow unspoken words and know she may never give me another chance to speak them.

  “I was afraid to talk to you back then. I was scared I’d say the wrong thing and you’d leave me, and I’d never see you again. Now I’m afraid even if I do say the right words, you’re still going to leave me because it’s too late.”

  “Madox, I never knew you were scared… You were never anything but strong.” Her voice hitches on the last word as she repeats, “I didn’t know,” and she covers her face with both of her hands as her shoulders hunch over. The first sob is soft, but the second is harder, louder, wracking every piece of her.

  “Come here,” I say and pull her in close, holding her as tight as I can as she wraps her arms around me. Her fingers dig into me, clinging to me. Everyone could be watching us right now and I wouldn’t give two shits. I just don’t want her to leave me.

  Please, don’t leave me.

  “Tell me if I didn’t say the right things.” I rock her gently as I speak; her hair brushes against my lips. “I’ve never done this before,” I whisper, being open with my insecurity.

  “I just wanted,” she starts to say, and her words are strangled as tears leak freely from the corners of her eyes. She peers into mine, searching for something and I hope she finds exactly what she’s looking for.

  “Madox, the problem—my problem—is that I don’t see what value I could possibly bring to you.” I can hear her heart beat harder, feeling it thump against my chest. “I’ve only ever been a burden.” As the shock of her words hit me, tears stream down her face.

  “Sophie--”

  “No, let me, please. Please let me finish.” The tips of her fingers touch my lips as she softly says, “Please.”

  The very real fear of her leaving me right now because she doesn’t think she’s worthy destroys me; I can’t move an inch while I wait for her to finish.

  “I don’t see how I’m deserving of you. We were never on equal ground, and I could never give you anything in return like what you gave me.”

  Time slows, and everything blurs around her. How could she think she was undeserving? How is that even possible?

  “I don’t have words to describe it. You’re everything to me. And I don’t know how you don’t see it.”

  “But why?” She’s brushing at the tears. “How could you care for me like you do?”

  “Soph, every word you’ve just told me, every single word, I could say right back to you. I love you, Sophie Miller, and all I want from you is to feel the same way about me.”

  I’ve never liked the look of her crying; in fact, I hated it, but right now, looking at me with her eyes glossed over and my words sinking in, she’s never looked so beautiful.

  “I love you.” The words slip from her with the sincerity I know they hold. She would never have to utter them again in my lifetime, and I’d still know it. I’ve always loved her for it, and I always will.

  As she leans forward, t
he sound of footsteps approaching from behind steal my attention.

  “Sophie,” my mother’s voice breaks the moment but before I can say anything at all, Sophie asks me to give her and my mother a moment.

  “Only if you promise me you won’t run.” But even as I say the words, there’s a calmness between us, one I’ve never felt before with her. One I hope I can hold on to until the day I die.

  “I promise, Madox. I don’t want to run from you. I promise. I don’t want either of us to be alone.”

  Chapter 16

  Sophie

  “Maybe we should go inside.” Adrienne’s voice is calm as her fingers twine together and she glances around the parking lot. Night fell in the last hour and it’s dark back here, save for the lampposts.

  “Wait for me?” I ask Madox, and he’s already nodding.

  “I’ll be just outside the room.” His words are soft for me, but his gaze is stern and directed at his mother, who simply pretends he isn’t looking at her at all.

  The chill in the air nips up my arms and I nod once in agreement. I can’t stand to look her in the eyes. My head is spinning, and the notion that I was only a pawn and didn’t deserve my job is screaming in my head. I knew better. I knew better than to think I was worthy of a job like that.

  Walking in unison, our heels click on the pavement as I gather my composure. With every step I remind myself of what just happened. He said he loves me.

  Madox Reed loves me. That’s all that matters.

  There is no doubt in my mind. Swallowing the lump in my throat and bracing myself for what’s to come, I hold on to that. It doesn’t matter what Adrienne says or what she thought she would accomplish with her duplicity. Madox loves me.

  Fuck, more tears gather in the corner of my eyes as I follow Adrienne to a private table in the back. I don’t miss how she asks for the waiter to leave us alone for a moment. It’s the same fucking room I was in two days ago. Everyone here must think I’m a fucking lunatic for constantly crying.

  I couldn’t give two shits what they think. Madox Reed loves me.