by Abby Brooks
“Did you see the look she gave us?” James asked as he pulled out Ellie’s chair. “Wonder what that was about.”
She giggled as she sat and he scooted the chair in. “Maybe it’s because you’re sober? And here with a woman instead of those two douchebags you’ve been hanging out with?”
James leaned around her and put an elbow on the table, his body wrapping hers, his proximity taking her breath away. Why did he have to smell so good?
“Did you just call my friends douchebags? Are you telling me you don’t like poor Ethan and Oliver?” He arched an eyebrow and Ellie couldn’t decide if he was truly offended or if he was joking.
She smiled sweetly.
No, she didn’t like those guys. Not at all. Somewhere along the way, she pegged them as a definite part of the problem.
If she and James were on a real date, she’d be battling her desire to be upfront and honest about her feelings against her desire to not offend the guy. But they weren’t on a real date, so she had license to be as honest as she wanted.
“James. Darling. The first time I saw you with those guys, you were busy offending every woman within a two-mile radius while they thumped you on the back and egged you on. Oh, and when I came up to try and stop you from embarrassing yourself, one of them told me I was beneath you.” Ellie pursed her lips and rolled her eyes. “Seem like great guys to me.”
The look on James’ face was priceless. “It’s weird. Hearing you be this honest with me makes me wonder how many lies people feed me on a daily basis.” He straightened and took a seat across from her. “Your honesty is refreshing. I think.”
Ashley, the blonde waitress from the night Ellie first saw James, stopped at their table to take their orders. She recognized James and gave him a wary smile. “Whiskey, neat?”
With a satisfied grin in Ellie’s direction, he responded, “Nope. Just a Coke for me, please.” Ashley pretended not to be shocked as she jotted it down.
James pulled a laminated menu from between the salt and pepper shakers and handed it to Ellie. She waved it away. “There’s only one thing worth eating here and that’s the fish and chips. I never order anything else.”
“If you’ve never ordered anything else, then how do you know there isn’t something better?” He studied the menu. “For example, the nachos look amazing, as does the chicken sandwich.” He flipped the menu and pointed to the items. “What about the southwest egg rolls? Those are pretty amazing. I know that for a fact.”
“I like my fish and chips.”
“And you also seem to like living in a rut. How’s that working out for you, by the way?”
“I am not living in a rut! I just like fish and chips.”
“Ahhh,” James said, a wide smile breaking across his face. “It doesn’t feel so good when the truth tables are turned, does it? You can dish it, but you can’t take it? Is that what’s going on here?”
“Oh, no. I’m all about honest self-assessment. I just don’t think I’m in a rut.”
“Let’s see. You wake up before the sun is even thinking about rising. You go to work. You come home. Eat dinner alone. Go to bed. And that’s it. Every single day of the week. How is that not a rut?”
“It’s not a rut because that’s what I have to do. We’re not all propped up with trust funds keeping us cozy, you know. If I don’t work, I don’t eat.” Ellie sat back, fuming.
Who did the guy think he was? How dare he tell her how to live when he didn’t have a clue as to what real life was like? Her power bill was so late that they were threatening to turn it off! And he had the balls to tell her she was in a rut because she was wearing herself out, trying to keep her head above water?
James looked chagrined. “Whoa. Didn’t mean to step on a landmine there. I officially recall any statements regarding ruts or anything otherwise.”
Ashley returned with their drinks and Ellie very pointedly ordered the fish and chips. When the waitress turned to James, upping the wattage on her already wide smile, he asked for the fish and chips as well.
“They’re really good,” said Ashley, scribbling their orders across the little pad of paper in her hands.
“It came highly recommended.” James waited until the woman moved on to another table and turned back to Ellie. “Is money that tight? Is that why you don’t hire help at the café?”
She sat back in her chair as her face blanched. She never brought up money with anyone. Tessa knew she struggled making ends meet, but Ellie had never really explained just how much. What good would it do to share? It was her burden to bear. The consequences of her bad choices. Tessa didn’t deserve to be weighed down with Ellie’s shit. No one did.
James’ dark eyes softened, and he leaned forward. “It’s okay to talk to me. I’m here. I’m asking. I care.”
She swallowed hard against the truth as it pushed to the front of her mouth. It would be so nice to just get it out. Have the story told. Share the burden with someone. Maybe it wouldn’t be so heavy if she didn’t have to keep it to herself. She looked down at her hands as she balled up a napkin and worried at the edges.
When she lifted her head, the look in James’ eyes stopped her breath. Her heart filled her chest and electricity zinged through her veins. He cared. It was written all over his face, filling his eyes with worry.
“Money’s tight.” She closed her eyes against the admission. Returned her attention to the table and let the story roll forth. “Steven...you know, Parasite Steve?” She waited for him to nod before continuing. “He didn’t have a job. He moved in and opened up a bunch of credit cards in my name. Maxed them out. Kept telling me it was fine, there was nothing to worry about. It was their fault because they kept approving us.” She shook her head. “Us. Like he had any part in it. My name. My money. I’d go to work and come home and find out he’d opened another one and bought another round of whatever.”
“Ellie, that’s fraud. That’s illegal.”
“Yeah, but he kept saying we’d lived together long enough to be considered a common-law marriage and he was within his legal rights. Said if I made a stink, he’d take me to court for alimony since we’d be considered married and he wouldn’t have a way to support himself if I left.” James made a sound as if he was going to contradict her again, but Ellie kept talking. “I know it all sounds so dumb now, but Steven was an angry man and I was afraid of him. I got in the habit of keeping my head down and not making waves.”
“Did he hit you?”
“No.” She looked up at James through her eyebrows. “But he’d throw stuff and punch the wall. I had a few foster dads with similar anger issues. The best way through that is to stay quiet and not make waves.” James made another sound and Ellie interrupted him again. “Of course, I know now that’s not true, obviously. Steve is gone. But the debt is not.”
“How bad is it?”
“I’ll survive.” She felt foolish for sharing as much as she had already. She didn’t need his pity and she definitely didn’t want him thinking she was after his money. They were supposed to be on a date, having fun. The relationship was supposed to be fake. And there she was, sharing more with him than she ever had with anyone.
James reached across the table and took her hands. “I’m sure you will. It sounds like that’s just what you do. But Ellie?” He waited for her to look him in the eyes. “How bad is it? Do you have what you need?”
She shrugged. “I’m fed. I bought myself a new used dress.” When he looked confused, she gave him a sheepish smirk. “Goodwill. Three dollars.”
“Well, sweet Ellie, that was three dollars well invested .You look like a million bucks in that thing.” She couldn’t help but blush at the compliment. “There we go,” he said. “There’s that smile I love so much. Now please, one of the things I appreciate most about you is your honesty. Don’t stop now just because it’s hard. How bad is it?”
Ellie felt tears prick her eyes and she blinked them back. She didn’t do emotion. Not in a public place. And defini
tely not in front of people. If she cried, it was at night, in the dark when even she couldn’t see the tears. Period.
“I’m behind on my electric bill. They’re going to shut it off if I don’t get the payment to them by next week. I should be able to make it, as long as the people of Bliss keep needing their morning coffee.”
What must he think?
Too weak to kick the parasite out before he nearly ruined her?
Too afraid to stand up for herself?
And then, spewing the whole sordid story out on a date that wasn’t even a real date. She swallowed down her emotions. Took a moment to compose herself and pull it all together. Used the distraction of Ashley arriving with their dinners to paint a merry smile across her face and vowed that she wouldn’t lose control of herself around James like that ever again.
Chapter Twenty-Two
James
James watched Ellie pull a mask down over the wounded version of herself she’d just unveiled. He felt he’d finally seen the real Ellie, and that she didn’t bring that part of herself out to play very often. Like maybe he was the only person to see that part of her in a long time. How did she live like that? So bottled up and afraid?
He watched how artfully she switched topics and put the focus back on him. Used the arrival of their meals to distract him from the conversation about her. He saw it for what it was, but didn’t call her on it. The look of relief that slid across her pretty face was enough to make him want to give her space. Let her recover from sharing something that was clearly very intimate.
He took a bite of fish while trying to unravel how he could talk her into letting him pay her electric bill. “Dang!” he said around a full mouth. “This really is good.”
A playful smile twitched across that sexy mouth of hers. “See. Told you.”
They finished the night and managed to avoid any more in-depth conversations about the contents of their hearts. In that, he guessed, they were the same. Tucking their pain away to deal with in their own way. She was more graceful about it than he was. He’d pretty much taken his trauma public while Ellie dealt with it in the privacy of her own thoughts.
He watched as people noticed them together. Some smiled at the combination. Others leaned in to laugh and whisper to friends. A few just stared in shock. They only needed to be seen out together a few more times before the rumors made their way back to his family and the Moores would believe they were really a thing. Maybe he’d bring her to a Sunday brunch at his parents’ house in a couple weeks. Then he’d let Ian know she’d be his date for the wedding.
Things were moving along according to plan. Sure, there had been a few hiccups. The office sex was probably a bad idea. Fantastic fun, but not smart. Showing up drunk at her apartment hadn’t been too bright either. But Ellie hadn’t let that faze her. She’d just done that thing she did where she cut through the bullshit and called it the way she saw it.
He appreciated that about her. After a lifetime of people feeding him a steady diet of whatever they thought he wanted to hear, her honesty was refreshing.
After that night in her apartment, on the couch, James intended to pout in a corner and drink himself into a stupor because he had almost admitted he cared about her. But, she called him on it and there they were. Him sober. The plan working. And he sure didn’t mind the company.
“What?” she asked, a funny smile on her face.
“Just thinking.”
“About what?”
“You don’t want to know.”
Trying to puzzle out what was on his mind, Ellie scrunched her nose in the most adorable thinking face James had ever seen. When he stayed silent, she shrugged and lifted her eyebrows in an ‘oh well’ expression. “Dance with me?”
“You bet your sweet ass I will.” James stood and offered her his hand, pulled her up and leaned over to whisper in her ear. “And believe me when I say, it is so, so sweet.”
Ellie grinned and led him to the dance floor where they lost themselves to rhythm and movement. You could tell a lot about the way a woman approached sex by the way she danced.
Ellie danced with abandon, losing herself to the music. She moved with passion, her hips swaying and her body eager for more. She fucked that way, too. James thought back to their night of office sex, the way she fought him for control, only to give in and hand it all to him in the end. In a way, it’d been like fighting.
She moved and he countered.
He moved and she countered.
Then finally, she admitted defeat and gave herself to him.
It would go down as one of the hottest experiences of his life.
If he was honest, he wanted more.
They finished the night, laughing and talking about superficial things, and as the hour hand edged past ten, James signaled for the check. “I think it’s about time I got you home.”
Her face clouded over and confusion darkened her pretty eyes. “Why? Did I do something wrong?”
“No, silly.” He shifted so he could pull his wallet out of his back pocket. “It’s late for a girl who gets up as early as you. This is me, trying to take care of you.”
More confusion flitted around her face and she blinked a couple times, trying to hide her emotions before she pulled that mask down again. “Oh. Well. That’s very sweet of you to worry about me.”
She beamed and he couldn’t help the smile that started from some place deep inside, some place he’d forgotten existed. He paid the check and walked her home. Kept his arm wrapped around her shoulder, not just because he wanted anyone who happened to see them to think he was falling in love with her, but also because he liked having it there. Liked the way she felt tucked up against him.
When they got to her door, he let her go as she dug through her purse for her keys. “Thank you for a lovely evening,” she said, not quite meeting his eyes. She paused and he saw a flood of words caught in her throat. “I’m sorry…” she began and then trailed off.
James hated the pain he saw in her honeyed gaze. “Don’t waste one more thought on it,” he said and tucked a curl behind her ear. He leaned in and kissed her, unsure if it was in case anyone was watching or regardless as to whether anyone was watching.
“Good night, James,” she murmured.
He slid his thumb across her cheekbone. “Good night, sweet Ellie.” He waited until she was safely inside and had locked the door. Waited until he saw the living room light come on through the cracks in the blinds. And then he drove himself home, lost in thoughts of Ellie growing up in foster homes, too scared to kick that damn parasite out, struggling to pay the bills and pushing herself to work harder than anyone he had ever known—and his brothers worked pretty damn hard.
When James pushed through his own front door, he waited for the wave of grief he felt every time he came home to hit him in the chest and freeze his heart. He went to the kitchen on autopilot and poured himself several fingers of whiskey. Swirled the amber liquid in the glass and brought it to his lips.
But he didn’t take a drink.
Because his heart wasn’t frozen.
And his thoughts weren’t painful and laced with poison.
He saw Ellie’s sweet face. The hurt in her eyes as she bared her soul for him at dinner.
He needed her, but the truth of it was, she needed him just as much.
Maybe more.
No longer on autopilot, James pulled the glass from his lips and poured the whiskey down the sink.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Ellie
Thursday disappeared in a swirl of customers. People Ellie hadn’t seen in years stopped in and perused the menu, exclaiming over how things had changed, oohing and ahhing over the expanded selection. At first, she couldn’t figure out where they were all coming from. Not that she was complaining. And certainly not that her checking account was complaining. It wasn’t until the second set of Moores made their way in, that Ellie deduced James had something to do with the sudden upswing in business.
Fr
ank and Diane Moore, James’ parents, were the first to show up, arriving almost as soon as Ellie flipped the sign on the door. She knew them by sight and had always admired Diane’s gray-streaked ponytail and down-to-earth fashion sense. Frank Moore, with his thick head of hair and kind eyes, had always seemed like the perfect father figure to Ellie. Doting and patient, he took the time to teach his children, to mold them into responsible adults. And, despite being wealthy enough to support an army of children and grandchildren if they so desired, neither of the Moore parents were condescending or flashy. Instead, they were friendly and approachable.
They hemmed and hawed their way through the menu and finally ordered a large breakfast consisting of the most expensive items Ellie had to offer. And when they were done? They purchased several pounds of coffee and an entire tray of muffins, claiming they had some kind of get-together planned.
When Ian and Juliet stumbled in not an hour later, Ellie couldn’t keep a straight face. “You too, huh?” she asked as she grabbed two large cups off the stacks and started pouring their coffees.
Juliet looked equal parts ashamed and tickled. “What do you mean?” She glanced guiltily at Ian who shrugged and avoided eye contact with Ellie.
“Just seems strange that I’ve seen four of the six Moores I’m not currently dating in just under one hour.” Ellie passed them their coffees and waited while they studied the menu, then ordered almost as much food as Ian’s parents had earlier.
When Ellie brought the food to their table, the couple sat back, creating space for the plates. “What are you two doing on this fine Thursday morning?”
Ian raked a hand through his hair, a shade darker than James’ and just as thick. “I’ve got her talked into flipping houses with me. She’s pretty good with a power tool and indispensable as a decorator.”