by Abby Brooks
That night, as she learned how to throw a punch, how to position her body to gather power behind her fist, and how to shape her hand so she was less likely to injure herself, she felt truly strong. In control. It was the first time in her life that she felt confidence wash over her. Combine that with sitting in the passenger seat of James Moore’s truck, heading back to his house after spending a day with his family as they helped her navigate through her latest batch of hard times…well…it was heady stuff.
James pulled into the driveway and Ellie hopped out of the truck before he had the keys out of the ignition. “First one to the bathroom gets dibs on the shower.” She raced up the steps to the porch.
“There’s a slight problem to your plan,” James said as he put a foot on the bottom stair and leaned on the railing. “The door’s locked.” He spun the keyring around on one finger.
“What’s it gonna take to get those keys from you, big boy?”
“You’re going to have to wrestle me for them.”
Ellie put a hand on her hip and rolled her eyes. “I’m sure there’s a better way.”
“Oh, sweet Ellie.” James leveled her with a predatory look as he moved up the stairs, keeping her pinned in place with his gaze. “I can think of so many different ways.”
When he reached her, he placed both hands on either side of her head, pinning Ellie between his body and the door.
She went limp.
Breathless.
Her chest heaved as she met his hungry eyes, knowing there was an answering heat to her own gaze.
“And just what might those be?” She let her eyes drop to his lips. Arched her back ever so slightly, pressing her breasts into him. And then, on a whim, she put her hand between his legs and smiled when she found his erection so firm against his jeans that she could clearly feel the outline of the shaft and crown.
James growled, his voice low and feral. He brought his face to hers. She touched her tongue to his lips then took his bottom lip between her teeth while squeezing his dick with her hand.
He kissed her, taking her face between his hands, the cold metal of the key ring pushing into her skin, contrasting the heat of his mouth on hers. He spread her legs with his knee, pushing his thigh against her throbbing need. When Ellie sighed in appreciation, pressing her hips forward for more friction, James smiled.
“Does that feel good, sweet Ellie?”
She nodded and rubbed her hand over his denim. “Does that feel good?”
In one swift movement, James had her hands in his, pinned behind her back. His lips tormented hers, the stubble of his beard raking across the tender skin of her mouth. She pulled on her arms, trying to free them from his grasp but only managed to tighten the grip he had on her wrists. It sent a surge of heat between her legs.
“Stop fighting, Ellie.”
The authority in James’ voice melted her. She did as she was told, grinding her hips forward, desperate to feel his bulge pressed against her. James unlocked the door and pushed it open, taking her in his arms as he walked her into the house, his hands running up her back and down again as he squeezed her ass. Somehow, they made it upstairs, but instead of guiding her into the bedroom, James led her into the bathroom where he turned on the shower.
“Take off your clothes. Let me see that body.”
Ellie took her time, pulling her shirt taut against her chest before she slowly lifted it over her head, tossing her hair and swiveling her hips as she dropped it to the floor. She let her eyes burn into his as she unbuttoned her shorts, pulling them down to reveal the thin white lace of her panties before letting them fall.
“All the way.” James gestured at her bra and undies.
“I’m feeling awfully lonely as the only one naked. Join me?” She stepped toward him, her hands reaching for his shirt.
James grabbed her wrists, halting Ellie’s momentum.
“Come on, James. You know you like it when I challenge you.”
He pulled his shirt over his head then reached behind Ellie to unhook her bra. She shrugged it off her shoulders and it joined the rest of the clothes on the bathroom floor.
“I never said I liked it. I just said you were the first one. I was speaking more about the way you tell the truth. I never said anything about liking being challenged in bed.”
“We’re not in bed,” Ellie said, stroking the length of his dick through the denim. “We’re in the bathroom. And this guy here says he likes what I’m doing very much.”
She got down on her knees, undoing his button, unzipping his pants, and pulling them down to his ankles.
“You’re such a dirty thing,” he said as she reached into his boxer briefs and stroked him.
Ellie slid his underwear down and sucked his tip into her mouth. He groaned and reached down, pulling her up. “I want you in the shower. Now.”
She slipped off her panties and climbed in, the warm water pounding on her breasts and then her shoulders as she turned to face James. He stared into her eyes as he ran his hands over her slick skin, cupped her breasts and pressed his hips into her. And then, without warning, he spun her around so her back was to him, pressed forward on her shoulders and pulled back on her hips so her hands went to the wall and the water streamed down her head and back.
James guided himself into her, moving slowly and giving her time to adjust to the feeling of being filled with him. The angle brought him deep and as he gained speed, she found her voice, crying out as he slammed into her again and again. She looked down so the water ran off her forehead and chin rather than into her nose and mouth. Her breasts swayed in time with his thrusts.
“You like it when I take control, don’t you?” He changed his speed, slowing down and pulling himself almost all the way out before sliding back in, stroking her inner walls.
“Yes.” She moaned as he pushed into her. “I need it.”
He reached around to rub her clit and her muscles began to clench. “And you like it when I take care of you.”
Ellie wanted to throw her head back, but the water was pouring down on her and streaming off her shoulders. “Oh, God, yes!’ She pushed her hips back, eager for him to build speed. “I need…” Water entered her mouth and she swallowed.
James knew what she couldn’t say and picked up speed, driving himself into her with more force. “You need what?”
She needed him to move faster. To bring on the orgasm he was building in her. She needed the release. “I need…”
He slammed into her. Again, and again. Harder and deeper. “You need what?” His voice was a low growl.
“I need you!” Her orgasm shattered her, weakening her knees and obliterating her words and still James slid in and out, working up to his own orgasm. She held onto the wall for dear life as she continued to come, not trusting her legs to hold her weight.
“I want to come on your ass, Ellie.”
No one had ever said that to her before and it lit her lust on fire, deepening her orgasm. She cried out, whimpering with each of his thrusts until suddenly…
James pulled away and grunted, leaving her empty. Something warm slid between her cheeks and was washed away by the water. Ellie leaned her head on the wall, gasping for air, her chest heaving. She was afraid to trust her legs enough to straighten.
“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” James sounded genuinely concerned and ran a hand down her back.
“Oh, no. I’m not hurt. I just don’t think I can stand.” She pushed off the wall and turned to face him, her hair plastered to her head, back, and shoulders. Water rushed off her breasts and poured off her hard nipples.
James grinned. “I take it that’s a good thing?”
“Mmm. The things you do to me…”
He reached past her and turned off the shower. “What do I do to you? Tell me all about it, and don’t skimp on the detail.”
“You do things that no one has done to me before.” Ellie shook her head. “Good things. Very good things.”
“Is that what you call
detail?” James threw open the shower curtain and grabbed two towels, wrapped one around his waist and handed the other to Ellie.
“You’re lucky I can form coherent sentences after what you did to me. So yes, given the circumstance, I consider very good things to be detailed.” Ellie dried her hair then wrapped the towel around her torso, letting her eyes wander the contour of James’ back as he disappeared into his room to change.
She checked her face in the mirror and wiped away the mascara that pooled below her eyes. He hadn’t come inside her and she was ashamed by how relieved she was because it only highlighted the fact that she’d lied to him the night before.
And, thanks to that horrible lie, he thought she was on birth control and would want to come inside her every time.
What happened in the shower was a fluke.
A gift from some god somewhere who took mercy on her after a terrible day. She couldn’t count on him to want to keep pulling out.
She was either going to have to tell him the truth or make an appointment with the gynecologist to get her ass on the pill (hopefully with free samples). She much preferred option B. If she admitted to the lie, it would shatter the trust he’d developed for her.
And rightfully so.
Chapter Thirty-One
Ellie
Ellie leaned back in her beach chair and dug her toes into the sand. The sun sank low in the sky, the late afternoon colors reflecting like glitter across the waves breaking against the shore. James was at The Pit, sparring with Ethan and Oliver. Ellie had planned to go with him, but wasn’t feeling great and begged off.
She’d been looking forward to it, too. James hired a trainer for her, a woman who would help Ellie feel less awkward about being aggressive. Plus, as crazy as the whole thing was, she kind of liked watching James fight.
He turned into an absolute predator. His body strong. His eyes hungry. And he moved so fast. He struck like lightning, in and out before anyone had time to understand what they saw. Boom! His opponent was down. It made her proud to be his girl, and sad to remember she really wasn’t.
And that thought brought up a huge mess of conflicting emotions, because after a couple weeks living with James, working with him and his family to rebuild Good Beginnings, Ellie was afraid she was actually falling in love with him.
And to make matters worse, her period was Officially Late.
She’d made it to the doctor the Monday after that appalling lie slithered out of her mouth and got some samples of the pill which she started taking the very next day. She was only a few days late, and maybe it was psychosomatic. Maybe it was because of the pills themselves. She was supposed to wait and take them the first day of her period, but she hadn’t. So maybe that had messed things up.
She hoped.
Because if that wasn’t it, then it was her who had messed things up.
Anxiety churned in her stomach. Sitting out there in the evening sun, watching the waves break on the beach, feeling the wind dance in her hair, she was supposed to feel calmer. The whole reason she dragged the chair out to the sand in the first place was to get some fresh air. To stare out at the ocean and feel small for a while so that maybe she could get some perspective on her own troubles.
It wasn’t working.
Her thoughts were poisonous and full of thorns.
Except one.
Deep down, there was a tiny part of her that thrilled at the thought of having a baby. And not just any baby. James’ baby.
She found herself smiling, a tiny, private smile. And then she remembered she was totally broke. That she could barely support herself. That she wasn’t married. And hell! She wasn’t even dating the guy who might be a father. Not really. A guy who wasn’t emotionally strong enough to have the bombshell of her massive lie dropped in his lap.
So the smile dissipated and Ellie sat in her chair, chewing her lip, worrying the edges of her shirt. If she kept going like that, she would make herself sick. She needed to talk to someone, to get it all out of her head. Without giving herself time to think, she called her friend.
Tessa answered after the third ring. “Hey lovely lady!” She sounded out of breath.
“Hey, yourself. What’re you doing?”
“Just scurrying around, trying not to be late to work. What about you?”
Ellie’s heart sank. If Tessa was late, it wasn’t the time to put the story on her shoulders. “Oh, nothing. Just checking up on you.” She tried to smile as she spoke because there was no better way to hide what you were feeling than behind a smile. But her jaw got tight and her voice broke and for what might be the first time in her life, Ellie couldn’t get the mask down in time.
“That’s not true. I can hear it in your voice. What’s wrong?”
Ellie wanted to contradict the statement, to say everything was fine and just carry the burden of her worries herself, but she opened her mouth and the truth fell out. “I think I really messed up big time.”
“Oh, no. You fell in love with him, didn’t you?”
“No.” Ellie held her phone with her shoulder and flared her hands. “I mean yes. But that’s not the problem.” She hated the way her voice quaked and quavered. She was the queen of holding back tears. Why she couldn’t get them pushed back into place eluded her.
“What happened?” Tessa asked, sounding concerned.
“I think I’m pregnant.” Ellie filled her in on the whole story. The lie she told. The emergency trip to the gynecologist. Her sore breasts and late period.
“You haven’t told him?”
“No.” Ellie fought back a sob. “How could I? I mean, I know I have to, but everything’s so amazing right now. I’m living in his house. He and his family are helping me rebuild my café; they’re pouring money into it like it’s theirs. Or, rather, like I’m theirs. Like I’m one of them. And I’m not.” And she wouldn’t be, not after she came clean.
“Ellie…”
“And you know what makes it worse? I’m in love with him. Like full on, head over heels, madly, deeply in love. He’s everything I’ve ever needed. He’s strong enough to support me emotionally. Here I am, supposed to be helping him heal after the love of his life shattered his heart and he’s the one helping me. Talking to me about my foster parents. Helping me feel valuable. Needed. And what do I do to repay it? I lie to him. About something that will just fuck up his whole life.”
“Ellie…”
“And to make it all worse. I want this. I want him. I want to have his baby. I want to be part of his family. I want to feel protected and I want to make him feel cherished and right now, in this very instant, I have it all. I have what I want. But it’s an illusion. The moment I tell him, it’ll all blow away. Or, I don’t tell him and just wait until after Ian’s wedding. Either way, this moment where I have it all? It’s a house of cards.”
“Ellie! Will you shut the hell up?”
Ellie blinked and fell silent.
“First things first. You have to tell him. You can’t hide this from him and the longer you do, the harder you're gonna make things. In fact, the longer you keep this from him, the less chance you have of keeping the relationship alive.”
“But—”
“Don’t talk. Let me finish. It’s clear that James cares about you, too. He moved you into his house, for God’s sake. He’s rebuilding your business, and sweetie? I’ve been in there. He’s not sparing time or expense, is he?” Tessa waited for the smallest noise of affirmation from Ellie before continuing. “You can kid yourself all you want and say that he’s doing this to make your fake relationship seem real, but you know and I know that he’s going way beyond the call of duty here.”
Ellie swallowed hard. Tessa was right. And on some level, she’d known it all along. “What do I do?” she asked.
“You’ve got to tell him.”
“But what if I’m not actually pregnant?”
“Well, hell, Ellie! Of course you should find out first. But that’s not hard. A quick trip to the drugstore
and a pee on a stick and you’ll know. This isn’t rocket science.”
Ellie laughed, a tight, self-deprecating sound. “No. It’s harder.”
“You’re probably right about that.”
Ellie heard the jingle of keys and the closing of a door through the phone. “Are you leaving? I should let you go. I’m sorry to bother you with all this silliness.”
“Nonsense. First, it’s not silliness and I keep telling you that’s what I’m here for. Friends help with the hard stuff, you know. And second, I want to talk about happier things. Keep me company on my way to work and tell me all the good stuff that’s happened to you.”
Ellie sighed. “I feel like my life is a fairy tale.”
“It is, though. You’re Cinderella! Living in your beach house with your rich prince after scraping away in that hovel of an apartment.”
“Right, but Cinderella got the prince in the end. She didn’t get pregnant and ruin everything.”
Ellie heard the slam of a car door and the roar of Tessa’s engine. “Nope. Stop right there. I don’t want to hear about the worry and the bad stuff. We’ve already covered that. You know what to do. We’ll deal with what to do next after you’ve taken your test. For now, tell me what’s good.”
Ellie shared how every day they’d shown up to work on the renovations, they’d found another resident of Bliss waiting with a donation or an offer of help. She talked about how Juliet and Ian basically gutted the place and were rebuilding it from the inside out. How Harry had donated kitchen items and his expertise and advice on how to improve her layout. How Lilah had designed the color palette to be more welcoming. How she and James had spent days side by side, rebuilding the place together.
Ellie talked about how he seemed to see inside her, to understand all that was broken, all the mistrust she had built up over the years. How he didn’t try to fix it, he just made it all seem better by being around. How James himself was some sort of medicine.