The Ultimate Linguist

by T. Mason Gilbert

light-hearted chuckling fellow and turned it on.

  When he whipped around it was as I thought, the creature resembled a hyena walking erect like a man—think Goofy, only uglier, and with no hat. I’m five foot five and he stood about the same height, wearing a dark blue outfit that resembled a Chinese Kung Fu suit. The key light lit up some fine golden embroidery of some odd looking creatures on the azure satin cloth. Mr. Goofy Hyena was shaking in his boots.

  “Please milady, I beg you. Spare me,” he said, using the same Chinese-type language that Peabody had spoken. I still understood it.

  “Come all the way out of there,” I said, still amazed that the words I spoke were of the same language. “And don’t try anything funny,” I added, feeling like the O.G.

  “Please. I pray you. Spare me. Don’t burn me with thine light,” he said.

  I looked at the small key light in my hand and couldn’t help smiling at his assumption that it was some sort of weapon.

  “Okay. But identify yourself, at once,” I said, trying to sound authoritative.

  “I am Busterro of Shangood,” he said with a bow.

  “What are you doing here? State your business,” I said, continuing my interrogation.

  “I’m headed to the city of Thunzarya to do business. I had stopped and was going to hide in the bushes to avoid any contact with the Cloven should they be on a hunting patrol. Their warriors sometimes travel this road. Listen!”

  He looked in the direction I had been traveling. At first I heard nothing. After a few moments, I heard faintly the sound of hooves in the distance but they were closing fast.

  “Extinguish thine weapon. It draws notice!”

  4

  Night Riders

  I turned off the key light. In darkness, Busterro’s hairy hand grabbed my arm and led me into the dense bushes to hide. We waited silently but as the horses came closer and closer, Busterro began his odd chuckling and yipping.

  “Stop that!” I said in a low voice.

  “I can’t help it. When I’m nervous, it’s like hiccups. Involuntary.” He shrugged.

  “Great. Then why are we hiding? Why don’t we just get out and wave a flag?”

  Busterro looked at me like I was crazy but the question stopped his nervous yipping for the moment just as the horses arrived and began to slow to a trot. I heard voices. The language sounded like German or some similar language and listening in amazement, I could again understand every word.

  “I think we went too far,” a man said.

  “No. I think it is further on,” another man said.

  “You’re both wrong. I say it’s right here,” the third man said.

  Through the leaves I could just make out that the third man was dismounting. I swallowed nervously when I heard the scrape of his sword leaving its scabbard. The swing of the blade cut through the bushes with ease about ten feet to our right, and he continued decimating the foliage. The powerful man swung his weapon to and fro, making his way in our direction. Something had to be done.

  “Halt thy swinging at once before I strike thee down!” I said, trying to sound ominous.

  The swinging stopped. “Exit your refuge and you have my word you shall not be harmed.”

  Slowly, I made my way out of the bushes, pointing my key light in the dismounted man’s direction.

  “Identify yourself. State your name and your business,” one of the mounted riders said.

  “I am Allyson of Heaven’s Gate. I have business in Thunzarya,” I said.

  The mounted man spoke to the dismounted man. “She speaks our tongue? How can this be?”

  “Quiet,” the dismounted man said to his comrade, shooting him a stern look. Then Busterro’s nervous chuckling began again. “Have you a fellow traveler?”

  “I’ve only just met him,” I told the man. Using Busterro’s tongue I said, “Come out, Busterro.”

  The men seemed surprised that I spoke both tongues. Slowly Busterro exited the safety of the bushes, his body quaking with fear.

  “Hmm. An Ostagoin? Milady keeps strange company.” To Busterro: “State your business?”

  “I go to meet a business partner,” Busterro said.

  The dismounted man noticed my surprise that he did not bother to speak in Busterro’s language and gave me a wry smile. “All Ostagoins speak our tongue. They need to. They are of the merchant class. And a miserly bunch they are. And you, milady, what is your business.”

  “I seek a friend. The Lady Gail of Thunzarya,” I said.

  “The Lady Gail? Is this true? She’s a friend?” he said, seeming as though he knew better.

  “She is,” I said, sounding certain. An exaggeration to be sure, but what else could I do.

  “Well then,” he said and smiled. He walked forward and looked down at me. His staring made me slightly embarrassed. Finally he said, “She will have my head if I allow you to sleep here at the possible mercy of Cloven warriors. So, we shall take you to her at once.”

  The man leapt onto his white and black steed and held out his hand to me. I grabbed it and swore there was some electrical spark as he swept me up behind him.

  “Yazur, help Busterro onto Trae’s horse.” Once we were aboard he said, “I am Radeir. We shall ride with speed. You’d best hold on tight.”

  I put my arms around him and, despite the heavy leather he wore, I could feel the taut muscles within as we rode hard into the night.

  Several miles on, we came to a great stone bridge spanning the river. The horse’s hooves clambered onto the bridge, and the men dismounted and walked their horses slowly to the other side. Torches lit our way. I gulped as a giant came into view from the edge of darkness.

  The giant bellowed in a deep voice that sounded like a cross between a lion and a frog. “Halt. Who goes there?”

  “Radeir and party returning to Thunzarya, Coosbob.”

  “You seemed to have picked up some passengers,” Coosbob said, looking down upon us.

  “The Lady Gail awaits my charge. I must proceed without delay.”

  The Lady Gail’s name had the desired effect. The giant gave a courtly bow, his shaggy hair obscuring his face. He waved us on with a flourishing sweep of his hand.

  “Hold on,” Radeir said over his shoulder. He kicked his mount and resumed a fast pace.

  A half hour later we topped a rise and Radeir slowed down. In the valley below, I viewed an enormous city surrounded by a huge wall. The city’s bright bluish lights illuminated the surrounding countryside. Outside the city, dotting the landscape here and there, the lights of farm dwellings looked to be the normal yellowish-white hue of torch or fire light.

  We traveled down the mountain road at a slower pace now, toward a bridge that spanned a large moat. The massive gate on the other side appeared to be the only entrance into the city.

  We made our way to the bridge slowly, so the sentries posted there wouldn’t misconstrue our intentions. While we were still somewhat engulfed in the darkness outside the ambient azure lamplights adorning the ramparts of the bridge, the lead sentry ambled out to identify us.

  “Hi-ho there! Who rides in?” the sentry called out.

  “The most vigorous of your mother’s lovers, you son of a whore,” Radeir said, riding into the light.

  The sentry’s face remained calmly impassive. “You are mistaken, good sir. My mother’s a chaste priestess of the high court. You must be referring to Taila, she of the giant ass, and mother to the unscrupulous bastard, Radeir.”

  Radeir shot the sentry a stern look. “Taila? Taila?” The two stared at each other for a long moment. The sentry could hold it no longer. He began to laugh and Radeir joined in with his own deep laugh.

  Their humor quenched, Radeir said, “Taila? When my sainted mother, Thalia, hears of her new nickname she will geld you, Stossis.”

  “She will have to catch me first,” Stossis said, turning to the other sentries. “Let them pass. They are harmless.” Stossis chuckled at his own wit.

&nb
sp; “Speak for thine self,” Radeir said to Stossis as he rode by him into the city. The sentry slapped our horse causing it to surge forth. I held tight nearly losing my balance.

  “Don’t fall off now, Allyson. We are nearly there.”

  Suddenly, my hunger hit me and I felt as if I could devour a cow.

  “Would it be possible to get some food before seeing the Lady Gail? I have not eaten all day.”

  Radeir chuckled. “Yes. I think that may be more than possible.”

  5

  The Bucket of Gold

  We rode on a little way and Radeir and our entourage pulled up before an Inn. The sign was in writing I had never seen before but I somehow knew that it read, ‘The Bucket of Gold.’

  The strangeness of being able to understand whatever I read or heard in a foreign language was beginning to wear off. Apparently, in this land, I was the ultimate linguist. Radeir dismounted and helped me down, his strong hands easily setting me on my feet. I felt a girlish rush I had not felt in a long time.

  He gazed down at me. “Your skin is so dark—like a coffee bean. How did you make it so? Some spell?”

  I assumed he had never seen a black person before. “I was born with this color.”

  He smiled at the thought. “Wonderful. How lucky you are. It is said that there is a tribe far to the North that is like you. Is that where you are from?”

  “No. I come from another land far, far away that is nothing like this one.” My stomach growled. I smiled up at him. He towered a foot and a half above me. “May we eat? I’m starved.”

  He laughed and it made me laugh too. “Yes,” he said, turning to the others. “Trae, see the horses to the