Astray

by J F Rogers

  “But why couldn’t I move?”

  “The fasgadair have powers. Remember?”

  “Did anyone else freeze?”

  “Nay. I’m not sure about Wolf, but the rest of us are believers. God gives us strength, diminishing the fasgadair’s power over us.”

  “But not over me.”

  We sat in silence. “Why didn’t you tell me about Maili?” What prompted the words? As soon as they escaped, I wanted to stuff them back in.

  He took a deep breath. “I never saw the point of mentioning it.”

  Of course he didn’t. There was no point. I was a half-human who would return to my realm, or so I hoped. He was a gachen with responsibilities here. Besides, he might be in love with the girl. I had no way of knowing without asking, and I wasn’t about to go there! I kicked myself for bringing it up. “Forget I mentioned it. Let’s go.”

  When I attempted to stand, he grabbed my wrist, rooting me. An electrical charge surged up my arm from his touch. “Nay. Let me tell you.”

  “There’s no need.” I breathed deep, relieved he let go. Had he felt it too?

  “I should have told you. She is the daughter of Eadbhard, an elder of the Arlen clan of Kylemore. As a gesture of good faith to unite the clans, they arranged our marriage when I was five years of age.”

  He sounded bitter. That answered my question.

  “She’s a nice enough girl. I’ve never had an issue with the arrangement…” He stared straight into my eyes, “…until now.”

  A ripple of heat rose to my face over the way he spoke the word now and gazed at me. At least the darkness veiled my blush. “Why are you telling me this?”

  “I am telling you because I like you, Fallon. A lot. And I think you like me, too.”

  I stopped breathing and failed to respond.

  “Am I wrong?”

  I wanted to say yes. I knew I’d regret saying anything to the contrary. It was one of those moments when the right thing and the honest thing did not align. My brain shut down, and my heart took over. “No.”

  He pulled me close and wrapped his arms around me. I feared he would kiss me despite my pungent breath. I’d hate to have to push him away. For an absurd moment, I wondered if they had toothbrushes approved by the American Dental Association in Ariboslia. I stifled a snicker.

  He pulled away. “What’s so funny?”

  Great. Why did I have to have a knack for making myself laugh at the most inappropriate times? “Nothing.” I stood. “We should get back to the others.”

  When we returned to camp, Ryann looked back and forth between us. Did she suspect something? I avoided her gaze and clutched myself with my arms, hoping I appeared freaked out over the fasgadair. It wasn’t untrue. Yet my mind kept returning to Declan’s admission of his feelings for me. My hearts’ uncontrollable leaping trumped fear and disgust. I smiled and tried to make it wane, but probably didn’t fool Ryann. She stared hard.

  Cahal was more interested in Wolf. “What a godsend! He ripped out the throats of all but one.” He patted Wolf on the head.

  Wolf flinched and lowered his head with each ponderous touch.

  “We made a good team.” Cahal smiled—a couple of missing teeth added to his sinister appearance. His face darkened, and he eyed Declan and Ryann in turn. “We left Fallon. That can’t happen again. Declan, make sure she’s covered at all times.” He knelt and packed his bedroll. “We must travel by night and sleep during the day when the fasgadair are weak. Pack up your things. We’re moving out.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  ◊◊◊

  THE AMULET LED US along a dirt road consisting of two carriage ruts deepened over time. I walked with care, but the dim moonlight failed to illuminate my path enough to avoid tripping. We kept silent. Mild breezes carried subtle floral scents, reminding me of playing in the yard near the dryer vent. The night symphony included a tireless chorus of crickets and occasional croaks of frogs mingled with random pings of kicked stones and the crunch of twigs. I might’ve been lulled into sleepwalking if those were the only sounds.

  Instead, my wild imagination kept me on edge. At every owl’s screech or coyote’s yowl, I latched onto Declan’s arm. As my eyes darted about, searching for the source, he laughed at me.

  By the time the sun rose, I was exhausted. I tripped over every root, stone, and twig underfoot. When I fell for the second time, Declan half carried me. My foot caught on the mildly uneven surface, and I nearly took him down with me. After a couple more hours of staggering, Cahal allowed us to make camp. He went to hunt, along with Declan and Wolf, while Ryann and I gathered firewood.

  “Do you know how to build a fire?” Ryann asked.

  “Ummm, I’ve done it before.”

  “Do you mind building one?”

  “Ahhhh…Sure.” I wanted nothing more than to lie down and rest. But I had to do my part. I found rocks to build a fire pit then filled it with kindling. I tried rubbing two sticks together, stopping on occasion to wipe sweat from my brow. I turned to Ryann. “You wouldn’t happen to have a lighter, would you?”

  She raised an eyebrow and tilted her head. “A ligh-ter?” Her lips matched the word.

  “Never mind.” I waved her off. Tired and irritated, I glowered at the kindling. When it sparked to life, I jerked as if a jack-in-the-box had sprung out of the sticks. How did that happen? I hadn’t been rubbing the sticks together, had I? I must have. It was the only explanation.

  I regained my bearings, leaned forward, held back my hair, and blew gently on the glowing embers.

  “How did you do that?”

  I almost fell into the fire. Ryann stood behind me. How long had she been standing there? “Oh! You scared me.” I held my hand over my chest and took a deep breath.

  “How did you start that fire?”

  “I rubbed two sticks together.”

  “Nay. I saw you.”

  “Saw what?”

  “I saw you with the sticks. But you stopped. You stared at the fire, and it lit. You have your mother’s ability.” A dreamlike quality softened her voice. She seemed to look through me. “Can you do it again?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Ryann reached for a stick from the nearby pile and thrust it into my hand. “Try.”

  “Ryann, this is dumb. I can’t set it on fire by staring at it.”

  “Sure you can. Try. Stare at the end like you stared at the kindling. What were you thinking about when it lit before? Do it again.”

  As silly as I felt, sitting there staring at a stick, I did my best. I stared at the tan twisted fibers at the tip, envisioning it burning. I concentrated so hard, the flame igniting the end startled me. “Oh!” I dropped the stick.

  Ryann threw it into the fire and stamped the ground with her foot, her grin wide. “I knew it!”

  “Knew what?” Declan emerged from the thick tree cover into the clearing, rabbits dangling from his hands.

  “The blood flows in her veins. She has Cataleen and Aodan’s ability to start fires.”

  I wanted to hide. Declan, Cahal, and even Wolf stared as though bugs streamed out of my mouth and crawled across my body. I was grateful when they went to work preparing supper. Their attention made me uncomfortable. I was already a freak in this world. I didn’t need anything else making me stand out further. Besides, other than not needing matches, what purpose would such a so-called gift serve?

  ****

  With a full stomach and my physical and mental fatigue, I expected to fall into a deep sleep despite the daylight. The sun peeked through the canopy of swaying trees, dappling my body in moving light like a mirror ball. The hot air dampened my skin with perspiration. The constant grasshopper hum called to mind summer days, sprawled on the living room floor under the ceiling fan. Bumpah, lounging in his recliner, flicked cold water from his glass on me, while Fiona carried on about damaging the wooden floors. Even so, when her back turned, droplets flew from his chair. I giggled
at the memory, wishing he were here to cool me off.

  I managed to doze, but I didn’t sleep deep enough to dream. Part of me desperately wanted to know what Aodan was up to. Another part wanted to heed Sully’s warning and stay away. Perhaps it was best that I couldn’t dream, and the choice was taken from me.

  An ear-piercing “tra-la-la-la-la” rang from an unusual bird in the branches overhead, jerking me awake. After it flew off, I slept again, but a couple of fighting chipmunks, squeaking at one another, woke me. I longed for a cozy bed and a dark, cool room.

  ****

  With each uneventful night on our journey, my anxiety lessened. I actually preferred walking in the cool of night. Each day, I managed to sleep a bit more, but still no dreams.

  Almost a week passed. We followed the amulet in blind faith. Everyone took turns sprinkling Sully’s dust. We plodded on, every ounce of my being sore from movement and insufficient bedding—why had I agreed to all of this? We would have made more progress on a treadmill.

  Declan and I didn’t talk like we used to. I felt as though he avoided me. What had happened? We were so close in Notirr. Countless possibilities bounced around my brain. Was it to keep Ryann from discovering our feelings? The lack of privacy? The need to keep quiet to avoid soliciting unwanted attention? The busyness of preparing meals? Was he tired? All possibilities, but I feared the real reason might be our last private conversation. I’d said too much. I kicked myself for bringing up Maili, and worse, for admitting I liked him.

  I longed to end my self-torture and ask. But I couldn’t risk coming across as desperate. What if his feelings for me had changed? What if he realized what a lost cause I was? I couldn’t bear to hear him say it. Couldn’t endure the humiliation.

  Of all things, why couldn’t I stop thinking about this?

  Wolf seemed to sense my misery. When he wasn’t hunting, he stayed by my side. Even so, the weight of everything closed in. My inadequacy, my aching body, exhaustion, and loss of my confidant welled up, threatening to destroy me.

  While I contemplated dropping to the ground in defeat, a solid gray structure peaked above the tree line in the early morning light. After days of nothing but trees, something different made my breath catch.

  “The Tower of Galore.” Ryann pointed to it, and then turned to me. “No one goes near it. Giants lived there. It is thought to be uninhabited now, but no one risks getting close enough to find out.”

  “There are giants here too? Why didn’t anyone mention them?”

  “I have only heard tales of them. I’ve never seen one.”

  “Neither have I.” Declan turned around and walked backward, facing me. “They’re nothing but stories invented to frighten children. The older kids used to scare me senseless with tales of them when I was young.”

  “I hope you’re prepared to face your fears.” Cahal looked back at the amulet. “We seem to be headed right for it.”

  “They can’t be worse than those bloodsuckers, can they?” I asked Declan, unable to look him in the eye, but hoping to keep him talking.

  He shrugged, grown silent.

  I sighed.

  The vast size of the giant’s tower amazed me. The trees thinned, clearing away to reveal the entire structure. The closer we drew, the larger and farther away it appeared. We spent another night walking toward it. When the sun rose, we remained a good distance away, and Cahal told us to make camp.

  “This is not good,” Cahal grumbled as we dropped our packs, scanning the open perimeter. “We need cover.”

  “Any attackers will be out in the open, too.” Declan shrugged. “We will have plenty of warning.”

  “But if they’re big enough to build that,” I gestured to the gargantuan tower obstructing the sky, “they must be huge. How could we outrun them? Where could we hide?”

  “Have no fear. As Declan said, they are mere stories to frighten children into staying away. God is our protection.” Ryann threw Declan a warning look.

  He widened his mouth and eyes innocently, lifting his hands in defense. “Cast your threatening gaze Cahal’s way. He’s the one who’s concerned. Not me. Anyway”—he drummed his hands on his legs—“those stories have succeeded in keeping others away. We have that going for us too.”

  Cahal grunted, nodded, and sheathed his battle-axe, signaling his approval. The gesture had come to put me at ease. He only disarmed himself if he felt secure.

  The only other issue with our being out in the open was lack of prey and wood. Cahal removed some dried meat from his satchel and distributed it to each of us. Exhausted, I laid on my bedding, chewed the jerky, and looked up at the sky. An occasional bird flew by the otherwise clear sky. The sun shone down, but the day was cooler and drier than most. A gentle breeze swept past.

  I reached for another piece of jerky and realized it was gone. My stomach hungered for more. I sighed and closed my eyes. What I wouldn’t give to get home. Or just give myself over to this evil uncle guy and get it over with. What if I dreamt of him? What if I talked to him? Perhaps I could convince him that I’m no threat. Perhaps he’d leave me alone.

  I crossed the bizarre dreamland and stared at the woman on the shore before it occurred to me that I was in the dream. I turned, hoping to find the swirling light. The lights popped and fizzled as they had before. A blurry image became clear. Some sort of an ornate room full of red and gold. A large tapestry draped the wall.

  “Bad form, Fallon.”

  “Huh?” I jumped and spun around. The woman was still staring at the shore far away. No, not her. I now recognized the masculine voice.

  “You heard me. You’ve somehow figured out how to connect with the mind-link your mother and I share. How is it you’re able to jump into my head, but I can’t access yours?”

  “I-I-I don’t know.” Even in the dream, every hair stood on end. Chills washed over my body for being caught spying by a murderous creature.

  “It seems I’ve misjudged you. You have power. Come to me, Fallon. Come to Diabalta.”

  “Why would I? You want me dead.”

  He chuckled. An ominous sound. “Why would I kill someone with powers like myself? I could teach you, hone your abilities. Together we could be unstoppable. Come to me.”

  “And become a blood sucker? No way.” My body quavered uncontrollably. I grasped my head and squeezed my eyes shut.

  “Don’t shut me out, Fallon. Come—”

  “Go away!” My voice echoed within the confines of the dream world. Followed by merciful silence. I dared open my eyes. The light was gone. I turned to the woman and screamed. Her face was right before mine, teeth bared, lunging.

  “Fallon!”

  Something had a hold of my shoulders, shaking me.

  “Fallon, wake up.”

  I opened my eyes.

  Declan stared at me, his expression twisted with concern. “You were having a nightmare. Are you okay?”

  I glanced around. Cahal, Ryann, and even Wolf had their eyes trained on me.

  “I’m fine.” I slipped out of Declan’s grip and sat up.

  “You’re not fine, Fallon. You’re shaking.” He sat next to me and placed a protective arm around me. “What happened?”

  “Nothing. It was just a dream. I’m fine.” I set my jaw and fought the tears.

  “Good,” Cahal called from over Declan’s shoulder. “Time to move out.”

  We packed our things in the shadow of the tower and resumed our trek.

  Desperate to talk about anything to exorcise the loop of Aodan’s conversation out of my head, I sidled up to Declan. “Why do you think the amulet would lead us to a tower where giants lived?”

  A stupid question. One I didn’t expect him to have an answer to.

  He responded with a shrug.

  “Aren’t you worried?”

  “A little. But this is God’s plan. He has a reason for it, and I trust Him.”

  Swallowing the lump in my throat, I wish
ed for such faith to help me face whatever resided in the monstrosity before us, and to rid myself of my impatience and the temptation to seek resolution with the very being who wished to kill me, despite his words.

  Chapter Twenty

  ◊◊◊

  BY SUNRISE, WE ARRIVED at a stone threshold ten times my height. I searched for the top of the tower. This close, it wasn’t visible, but I grew dizzy seeking it. I hugged my arms around my middle, definitely not eager to meet whatever created such a monstrous building—or required a door this size. But I welcomed the distraction. Anything to keep thoughts of Aodan and Declan out of my head.

  As I studied the stone etchings, a loud clang next to me made me jump. Cahal banged on the door with the back of his battle-axe. I stepped back and held my breath, expecting something heinous to open the door. When nothing did, he banged again. By the fourth try, we grew impatient.

  “It may be deserted.” Declan turned to me. “The amulet points this way, right?”

  The arrow aiming at the door remained aglow. I nodded.

  “We should try to open it.” Declan arched Cahal a glance.

  When none of us located a doorknob or a notch, Cahal wedged his battle-axe into the seam to pry it open. Exertion twisted and reddened his face, and veins in his neck I hadn’t known were there bulged and pulsated.

  “Let’s try pushing it in,” I said. All of us, including Wolf, leaned against the door and pushed. It was hopeless. I turned, slid down the door, and sat on the stoop.

  Declan’s arms pressed against the entrance. Hanging his head between them, he stood there. “We can’t give up.” His flattened hands formed into fists and struck the door as if they could accomplish something Cahal’s battle-axe couldn’t. He took a few steps back to address us. “Drochaid points through this door, right?” He turned to me for confirmation.

  I nodded.

  “Then there must be a way.” Declan picked up rocks and chucked them at the door.

  “Stop! ’Tis no—”

  A grinding sound, stone against stone, interrupted Ryann. But the door wasn’t opening.