It's Never Dull

by Katrina Kahler

  Glancing towards the sound of the scream, I noticed two big dudes running down the street and one of them was carrying a bag.

  “Now that’s not right,” I said.

  “Yeah that bag doesn’t match their outfits at all,” Frank said.

  Looking down the street I saw that the big dudes had apparently pushed down Old Lady Mitchell and made off with her bag.

  “I’m not going to let those dopes get away with this,” I said.

  “What me to help?” Jimmy asked.

  “Better not risk it. If this becomes an incident, which I think it might, better it’s just me.”

  Using my vampire powers to blur myself, I leaped up into the air and moved across the street far faster than a regular human could. Jumping over a few parked cars I stood in front of the two runaway thugs.

  Hands on my hips I firmly said, “Now, now, boys, that bag does not match either of your eyes or your image.”

  The two young men stopped in their tracks. They both stood well over six feet tall and had to weigh over 250 pounds each. “We don’t want to hurt you, girl! Get out of our way!” one of them said.

  Pointing down the street I said. “Good. Return the bag and nobody gets hurt.” I could have used my hypnotic voice but I wanted to give them a chance to do the right thing on their own.

  The biggest of the guys ran at me trying to knock me over. Straightening out my left arm I stopped the big dude in his tracks.

  “Oh man, you are strong!” he said.

  “You have no idea,” I said. Pushing on him, I sent the oaf flying into his partner. The two of them fell to the ground. Standing over them, I decided that since they were incapable of doing the right thing on their own...I needed to make them do the right thing.

  As they struggled to stand up, I ordered, “Stop!” The two of them stopped in their tracks.

  “Now you two bozos will take that bag and give it back to the lady you stole it from. And you won’t ever do anything like this again. If you need money get a job!”

  “Yes, ma’am,” they both said.

  The two stood up and walked slowly away.

  “Oh, cluck like chickens for a bit,” I ordered, figuring I might as well have some fun with this.

  “Cluck, cluck, cluck!” they both said. The smaller one even flapped his arms like he was a chicken. I gave him credit for adding a nice touch.

  Joining my friends across the street, I said. “I think that worked out well.”

  Jimmy and Ruby nodded. “Man, that was awesome!” Jimmy said enthusiastically.

  “Yes, good job!” Ruby smiled.

  “Let’s just hope Mom doesn’t find out,” Frank commented, looking a little concerned.

  “Oh, come on Frank, there’s no way Mom could know about this.”

  “Let’s hope neither of our moms finds out about this,” Jimmy said. “But man, I wish I could have helped.”

  Putting a hand on his shoulder I said. “Don’t worry, I can handle thugs like that alone. I need to save you for the really big problems.”

  Jimmy smiled. His smile made me smile. This boy was dreamy and he made my heart flutter.

  Nina Note: I felt good knowing that I helped a neighbor and got two thugs to turn their lives around for the better. Of course, Mom probably wouldn't see it that way, but on a need to know basis...Mom didn’t need to know about this.

  Chapter 3: The Wrath of Mom (Home Sweet Home)

  I felt pretty good about myself when Frank and I walked into the house. After all, today I had defeated three Ninja phantoms, helped out a neighbor by making two thugs return her bag...and I had made the thugs become better people. In my humble opinion, that was a win-win. Or, so I thought.

  Mom greeted us at the door, arms crossed, foot tapping, eyes glaring. Frank and I both shuddered. Yep, she had the ‘serious mom’ look on.

  “I hear you’ve had a busy day young lady!” Mom said. Her tone calm and steady...yes, this is Mom’s way of saying she is not happy.

  In a desperate attempt to change the subject I came out with, “Ruby and I are going to compete in the Science Fair.”

  “Don't play coy with me, young lady! I invented coy!” Mom said.

  “Really?” Frank said. “That’s so cool. What’s coy?”

  Mom smiled. That was one of the good things about Frank’s naivety; it could warm the ice sometimes.

  I patted Frank on the back. “I’ll explain it to you later,” I told him with a smile. Turning my attention back to Mom, “Mom, are you spying on us?” I demanded.

  “I’m a mother, you are my kids. I was not spying, I have people and creatures to do that for me!”

  That really didn't make me feel any better. In fact, it somehow managed to make me angrier and more frustrated. But I knew getting mad at mom wouldn't help the situation. Forcing myself to remain calm, I asked, “Who is your spy?”

  A meek voice behind Mom spoke out, “I prefer to think of myself as a lookout or guard.”

  Walking out from behind Mom's legs was a short, white-bearded creature with a pointed cap. The creature looked familiar, I just couldn't place it.

  Pointing at the creature Frank said, “Hey, it's our garden gnome.”

  That was it! I had passed by that gnome statue so many times it barely registered in my brain. I almost thought of it as part of the yard.

  “Kids, I’d like you to meet Gomer, our gnome.”

  Gomer tipped his cap to us. “It’s a pleasure to formally meet you.”

  Walking up closer to Gomer I locked my eyes with his. He lowered his eyes. “You’re the one who turned us in?” I forcefully whispered.

  Putting his cap behind his back he slipped back behind Mom. Peeking out he said, “Yes, sorry. Just doing my job. I think you kids are great. But your mom’s the boss and I don’t want to anger her.”

  “He does have a good point,” Frank said.

  “And I am angry!” Mom said.

  I opened my mouth. Mom pointed at me. My mouth locked shut. “Nina, I know you were trying to help but you endangered yourself and us by doing something the proper authorities could have taken care of.”

  “But, Mom, I wanted to help! And if I didn’t step in, those thugs would have got away!” I insisted.

  Mom gave me her sternest look. “Nina, you don’t understand...there are forces at play in this world that seek to use us. Or, more properly, misuse us.”

  “Mom, I know about the vampire hunters. I’ve dealt with them. I’ve even befriended one, sort of.”

  Mom frowned and shook her head. “There are others who are more of a threat to us due to their resources.”

  “I dealt with the phantom ninjas today,” I said proudly.

  “Yes, your grandma told me and she said you did a super duper job. But Nina, there are others. We need to make sure they don’t find us.” Mom thought for a moment. “You are grounded for a month. You must come straight home from school. I will make sure your Aunt Mika takes you.”

  “But, Mom…”

  Mom waved a finger in my face. “No arguments young lady! You are grounded!”

  “Please, Mom, I can’t let Ruby down. Frank and I both are going to be her partners in the science project.”

  Gomer spoke up. “Ma’am, if I may suggest. Why not have young Ruby come here? The place is basically a Science Fair. Ruby did warn Ms. Nina about her actions. I believe she has a good head on her shoulders.”

  Mom rubbed her chin. “Hmm, yes. That might work.” She thought for a moment. “I will check this Ruby out and if she passes my test she may come over.”

  “And if she doesn’t?” Frank asked.

  “We will burn that bridge when and if we come to it,” Mom replied.

  “Mom, please don’t hurt her!” I pleaded.

  Mom turned back to me. “Honey, I may technically be a monster but I’m not a MONSTER. I will check her out.”

  Reaching for Mom’s arm I said, “I will come with you.”

  “No, you won't!” Mom forcefully
replied.

  She disappeared in a puff of gold energy.

  I tried to move but found my feet were literally stuck to the floor.

  “Mom!” I shouted.

  “I don’t think she can hear you!” Frank said.

  Gomer lowered his head. “Sorry, Ms. Nina.”

  Mumford walked over to me. “Ms. Nina, I suggest you just relax.”

  I tried to move my feet again. No luck at all.

  “ Ms. Nina, I'm sure your friend Ruby will be fine!” Mumford told me. “You mother is a wee bit hot-headed but she always does the right thing.”

  Gomer bowed again. “I’m so so sorry!”

  “Dad!” I shouted.

  Nothing.

  Frank looked at me. “Nina you know that when he's down in his lab he can't hear anything. Remember how Mom made him soundproof it due to all the explosions and bangs.”

  Pointing downward I told Frank. “Go get him!”

  Frank ran off.

  A few minutes later Frank came back with Dad in tow. “Frank tells me you and your mom are having some sort of dispute.”

  “I sort of, kind of, used my powers in public and so Mom has grounded me,” I said.

  “Yes, honey. We have to be careful with displays of power in public. You never know who might be watching,” Dad said.

  “But I’m doing the Science Fair with my friend Ruby,” I pleaded.

  Dad beamed. “I love Science Fairs! I mean, come on, they combine two of my favorite things, science, and fairs.” Tilting his head he asked. “What's wrong then?”

  “Gomer suggested that Ruby come over here to work on the project,” I replied.

  “That’s a great idea. I do have a lab and all.” A pause. “Who’s gomer?”

  I pointed at the small gnome now hiding behind Frank. Gomer waved.

  “Right, I forgot he’s not just a statue,” Dad said. Turning back to me he asked, “Then what’s the problem?”

  “Mom’s going over to Ruby’s house to interview her to make sure she is trustworthy to come to our house.”

  Dad nodded. “Yeah, you might want to be there just in case. I’m sure your mom wouldn’t harm Ruby and her family in any way, but she might make them all think they are chickens or something.”

  I smiled. Yeah, that did feel good. Thinking about Ruby and her family, I dropped the smile from my face. “We can’t let her do that to them.”

  “Go stop her,” Dad said. “You have a lot of power yourself.”

  Pointing to my feet I said. “Mom kind of locked my feet here.”

  Dad bent over and examined my feet. He sniffed them. He coughed. He stood up. “Just take your shoes off. She locked your shoes, not your feet.”

  “It’s that easy?” I asked.

  “Honey, often the simplest solution is the best.”

  I popped my feet out of shoes. Sure enough, I was free.

  Still, not wasting any time, I blurred over to Ruby’s house.

  I found Ruby’s two husky dogs on the porch of her home. They were both on their backs, leg up in the air and whimpering. I recognized this as the universal dog - I give up position. Yep, Mom had been here for sure.

  The door to the house was ajar so I walked in. Ruby’s dad stood there simply smiling. I waved my hand past his eyes. They didn’t move. Mom had awed and stunned him. Sometimes, when Mom is in a mood, her mere presence will stupefy normal people. I saw Ruby’s big brother and two of his lacrosse-playing friends sitting on the couch. The three of them simply sucked their thumbs. That was yet another affect mom could have on simple mortals.

  I saw Ruby’s mom near the stairway leading upstairs. She stood there motionless with a goofy smile on her face.

  “Mom!” I shouted running up the stairs.

  “Up here, darling,” Mom called. By the way her voice carried I knew she had to be in a room.

  Entering the upstairs hallway, I noticed an open door. Flying towards the door, I said, “Mom, what have you done to Ruby?”

  Walking into the room, I saw Mom sitting on top of Ruby’s bed with her.

  “We were just having a lovely chat,” Mom said.

  “Your mom is so cool!” Ruby gushed. “I wish I could silence my brother and his obnoxious friends like she did.”

  Mom smiled proudly. “My charm is my gift.” Mom pointed to a collection of karate trophies on Ruby’s self. “Honey, did you know that Ruby is a karate champion?”

  “I’ve been told,” I said.

  “Have you seen all her awards for being a good student too?” Mom asked.

  I gently sat down on the bed next to them. “Ah, no. I’ve been afraid to come over here.”

  Mom laughed. “Why? Her family seems quite nice and harmless.”

  “I haven’t been afraid of them, I’ve been afraid for them,” I said. “Afraid of what you might do to them if you found out I’d been hanging out in the house of a normal human.”

  Mom patted Ruby on the shoulder. “Dear, I have nothing against normal humans as long as they have nothing against us. Now if Ruby and her family were vampire hunters...then I would have an issue with you hanging out in her house or around her.”

  I chuckled nervously.

  “But I find Ruby to be a delightful girl and a good friend of yours. Once your grounding is over I wouldn’t mind at all if you spent time at her house. Her little puppies are so cute.”

  Only my mom would call hundred-pound huskies cute puppies.

  “I replayed the incident in Ruby’s mind and yes Gomer was correct, Ruby wanted to contact the proper authorities. That would have solved the problem and protected you.”

  “I was afraid they’d be long gone before the police showed up!” I protested.

  Mom nodded. “Ruby pointed out that the average police response time in Lowville is five minutes. So, yes, those thugs would have most likely escaped. Therefore, I have decided your actions helped a neighbor.”

  “Does that mean I’m not grounded?” I pleaded.

  “No, it doesn’t, you still risked your own safety and our family’s security, but you did it for a good cause, so grounding will only be for a week.”

  Sighing I agreed, “I suppose that seems reasonable.”

  “In the meantime, Ruby is welcome at our house at any time. I am sure your father will be a big help on your wind project. After all, he does have a LOT of wind,” Mom said with a grin.

  Seriously, I had never heard Mom try to make a joke before. It wasn't a good joke. But still, in this case, it was the thought that counted.

  Mom stood up. Putting a hand on my shoulder she said, “I know what you are thinking…that I don’t usually make such awesome puns. But I am in a good mood. I am happy that you have found a friend you can trust. A friend that has your back. That’s important in this world.”

  “Thanks, Mom,” I said.

  “Thanks, Doctor Thorn,” Ruby said.

  Mom beamed at Ruby. “Ruby, Doctor Thorn is far too formal for a friend, you can call me Liza if you wish.”

  Ruby thought for a second. “How about Mrs. Thorn?” she asked. “I like to give adults their proper respect.”

  Mom patted Ruby on the head. “Mrs. Thorn it is.” Turning to me, Mom said, “You could learn a lot from this girl. I’ve always believed that regular humans can teach us a lot. After all, they have no powers, nothing that makes them special, yet they keep on plugging away.”

  Turning to Ruby, I said. “I know that might have sounded like an insult or a put-down, but for my mom, that's a huge compliment.”

  Ruby nodded. “And that’s how I took it.”

  “Ruby, how about you come over after school tomorrow? You can stay for dinner and work on your project?” Mom asked. Mom looked at me. “You’re cool with that?”

  “Of course,” I said smiling.

  “I’d enjoy that,” Ruby said. “I’ll have to clear it with my family. Tuesday is usually taco night at our house.”

  Mom clasped her hand together. “Taco Tuesday, how quaint. I c
an make Tacos if you wish.” Mom smiled. “I’m sure your parents will be fine with it. Just tell them I will be there.”

  “Sure,” Ruby said.

  Mom clapped her hands. “I could even do tacos if you’d like!”

  “I’d like tacos!” I said.

  Mom looked at me. “Honey, Ruby’s our guest. It’s up to her.”

  “I’m not picky,” Ruby said. “You put it on the table, I’ll eat it.”

  “Are you a vegan or anything like that?” Mom asked.

  “No, I try to limit my red meat but I do eat anything!” Ruby answered.

  “It’s settled then. I will see you tomorrow.”

  Mom took my hand and lifted me off the bed. She walked out to the landing and flew down the staircase.

  “Mom, you know you could have walked down the stairs. Right?”

  “Of course, I know that. But honey, flying is more fun!”

  Ruby smiled at me. “You have the coolest mom.”

  I smiled back. “Yeah, I guess I do, most of the time.“

  As we walked out the front gate, Mom turned around and unfroze everyone, including the dogs.

  Nina Note: That worked out about as good as it possibly could have. Being grounded for a week was nothing I couldn't handle. Especially since Ruby could come over to our house. Sure, it would be harder to see Jimmy but for the next week, I'd just have to make do with seeing him at school. Of course, Aunt Mika is really cool...maybe she would let him drive home with us. We'd just have to drop him off out of Gomer's sight. Glad to know now that we have a house-watch gnome. I'll be extra careful from now on. And if Mom was right and there were people watching and studying us, the added security was nice. Right?

  Chapter 4: We’ve Got Problems

  “Beep Beep Beep!” Blared my alarm clock.

  Eyeing the clock with my one open eye, I saw it read 6:30. Too early to get up! I could surely sleep for five more minutes. I reached over to tap the snooze button. The clock darted to the side. My hand hit my nightstand.

  “I still must be asleep,” I mumbled to myself. Rolling to the side of the bed I reached for the snooze button again. Dropping my hand down, the clock once again moved to the side. My hand hit the nightstand again.