The Undertaking of Adam Novak

by Sofie Hern

–

  The afternoon is chilly and the sky clear. We arrive at the storage facility and as soon as I open my unit, I’m hit with the musty smell of cardboard, filling my head with memories. I have not been in the unit since bringing my parents' belongings after the accident. I will forever associate this smell with death and sadness.

  “How long are they staying here for?” Aaron asks through the rolled-down window.

  “As long as we need,” Jaycob says while carrying a box

  “It would be so cool if we could move. I wanna live in a two-story house with a pool and everything.”

  Jaycob rubs Aaron’s fuzzy head. “I think what you mean is a tree house,” he teases the boy and closes the tailgate.

  “I guess that's it,” I say.

  “Are we ever?”

  “What, Aaron?”

  “Moving.”

  “Don't think so, buddy.”

  He frowns.

  –

  “When are you getting your stuff from Irene’s?” Jaycob asks, on our way to the cemetery.

  I look in the rearview mirror and see that Aaron has his earphones in, listening to music and looking out the window.

  “I'll stop by tomorrow after work and get as much as I can.”

  After a few minutes of silence, Jaycob says, “So, how are we doing this?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “When you go back to work tomorrow.”

  His question puzzles me.

  For a Sunday the streets are busy, the early afternoon weather inviting families to spend time outside. Jaycob rolls his eyes and sighs. “How are we going to manage everything?”

  “Honestly, Jake, I haven’t thought about it. We'll figure something out.”

  “And when you travel?”

  I’m not sure why he’s interviewing me, but that last one sure is a good question. Tianna was always there for Aaron. Her day at work was over before Aaron was out of school and since she worked in the same district, they spent summer vacation together.

  “I’ll talk to Charles and tell him that I can’t travel as much. I’m sure he’ll understand.” I don’t want Jaycob to think I’m unprepared, even though it’s becoming clear that I have no clue what the fuck I’m doing. Why is Jaycob thinking these thoughts? Shouldn’t I be the one thinking about this shit?

  “I'll figure it out,” I finally tell him, putting us back at square one.

  “Can I tell you what I think?”

  I hesitate because I assume he’s going to tell me to stay away and to let them live their lives and that he doesn’t need me. I nod and glance at Aaron, who continues to listen to music, bobbing his head.

  “I can take care of Aaron. Full time.”

  “What? You’d do that?”

  “Of course. I mean, I know what to do. I can take him to, and pick him up from school, feed him, take care of him till you get home. And when you travel I'll be with him the entire time.”

  He’s right. Plus, I don’t think I’ll be comfortable leaving him with anyone else. Aside from Rita, there’s really no one else I trust more than Jaycob.

  “What about work, Jake?”

  “Well, I can maybe find a part-time job and work while he’s in school. And, I mean, how much do you think you’ll have to pay for a full-time babysitter?”

  “As much as necessary, I’d guess?”

  He rolls his eyes and shifts in his seat to look at me. “Look, I’ll take whatever you think is fair, deal?”

  I think about this. I have no other expenses, the house is paid for. I’ll have to pay alimony to Irene when we divorce, but that won’t be a problem. My parents left us, Jaycob me and Tianna their entire savings, but we decided a while back to add it to Aaron’s college fund.

  “Let me think about it, Jake.”

  “You also need to start looking into adoption or whatever. I mean, I don’t know much about law, but I’m pretty sure you have to do something to make sure he stays with you.”

  Again, he’s right. “I’ll look into it.”

  Before driving into the cemetery we stop at the flower shop across the street, on Eldorado Lane. We each pick a bouquet for Tianna; I choose a dozen white roses, Jaycob carnations and Aaron a colorful mix.

  We drive into the cemetery to Tianna’s grave. It looks pretty busy. Cars are lined up along the road. Flowers, balloons and a few poinsettias decorate most graves. The sun feels warm and I remove my coat and hold it to my side as I admire my surroundings. It’s like a block party atmosphere out here. Umbrellas, blankets, coolers, children playing tag, people sitting in lawn chairs as if waiting for a parade to go by. It’s a strange sense of comfort knowing we all have one thing in common. We are a big family of sorts.

  We reach Tianna's grave, which is currently marked by a temporary sign. Piled on it are the flowers from the day of the funeral. Aaron kneels down and starts reading cards that people have since left. Jaycob stands next to him with his hands in his pockets and starts to cry softly. I crouch down by Aaron’s side and start rearranging the flowers. Aaron joins in while Jaycob removes wilted flowers and dead leaves. We take our time cleaning her grave, each lost in our own thoughts. I straighten and attempt to dust myself off only to create a bigger mess. After some time we say our goodbyes and go back to the car.

  –

  “Hungry?” I ask and both say yes at the same time.

  I drive us to our new favorite spot, Sally’s Diner. I glance at Jaycob who appears to be doing better and I touch his shoulder. “You’re officially the nanny, Jake.”

  He smiles and Aaron looks at us with confusion. “What do you mean?” he asks.

  Jaycob shifts in his seat to look at Aaron. “I’m your baby sitter.”

  “For real?”

  Jaycob nods.

  “Sweet!” exclaims Aaron and they fist-bump.

  They look happy for the first time in days and know I’ve made the right decision.

  35

  IRENE

  The idea of Adam being gone is driving Irene insane. She refuses to accept it, but is confident that her new plan will work.

  Jordyn has been impossible to be around all week and spends most of her time in her room doing God knows what. It irritates Irene that every time she asks Jordyn about Adam—because she’s damn sure they are in contact—she only gives a vague answer.

  Irene has been in the house the entire week and is very much looking forward to brunch with Julia. Every Sunday they get together to catch up and talk about whatever.

  She knocks on Jordyn’s door.

  “Yeah?”

  “Heading out. I left some money on the desk in case you get hungry.”

  –

  She arrives at the Tea House ten minutes early and is led to a table in the center of the room. Though small, the restaurant is well decorated and elegant, with a beautiful flower bouquet on each table and the wall of windows letting in the sun. The ceiling is a high mass of beams with large fans hanging from them. Everything is white, highlighting the flower arrangements all around. She sits at the table which is set up with various trays filled with hors d'oeuvres, finger sandwiches and teacups. The waitress, a woman with a red face approaches and greets her while pouring tea before walking away.

  Irene checks her phone, hoping against hope that Adam will contact her, but nothing. It has become a habit for her to check her phone every few minutes, willing Adam to contact her. No such luck.

  She looks around as people eat and talk, some laugh. The smell of coffee and waffles are quite strong, making Irene's mouth water.

  Moments later, Julia joins her and Irene stands to greet her with a kiss on the cheek. They sit and the friendly waitress reappears to take their order. Julia orders the quiche and prosciutto-wrapped melon and Irene chooses Eggs Benedict and a small bowl of fruit with yogurt.

  Julia is a petite woman with straight dark brown hair, currently cut in a sharp bob parted in the center. Her eyes are the same color as Adam’s, and her porcelain skin has lost its summer g
low.

  “How’ve you been?” Irene says, sipping her tea.

  Julia shakes her head and lets out a long breath. “Ken wants us to move to Texas.”

  Irene nearly chokes on her tea. “Where did that come from?”

  “He says he's expanding his business and thinks mine is done. I’ve not had an event in weeks and…” she trails off and tears fill her eyes.

  Irene could care less about what is happening to Julia but has to pretend otherwise. She’s not even listening to what Julia is saying as her thoughts go to Ken. What will she do without him here?

  “—that he'll take care of it,” Julia is saying.

  Irene has no idea what to say to her, but thankfully the food arrives.

  “Did you bring the key?” She goes straight to the point.

  Julia retrieves a silver key from her bag and hands it to Irene, who holds it in her hand for a moment. My key to victory, she thinks and smiles.

  They continue eating, but Irene isn’t remotely interested in anything else Julia has to say. She thinks about what to say to her so she can make a run for it.

  “So you and Adam are good then?”

  “Of course!” Irene says, a bit louder than necessary. She hasn’t told anyone, besides Levy and Jordyn that Adam left her.

  “I guess your plan worked then, huh?”

  Irene gives her a hush look which Julia reads clearly.

  “I’m glad it did. Jaycob and Adam are like strangers to me. I tried talking to them at the funeral, but they looked like they wanted nothing to do with me and—”

  “Julia!” Irene hisses. “You need to keep it together, okay? You need to stay strong, do you hear me?”

  Julia’s demeanor has changed in the last few months. The usually upbeat, full of energy, I-don’t-give-a-fuck Julia has become submissive and small. Irene calculates that she’s beginning to feel remorse, which isn’t good. With the death of Tianna, she’s become a liability, which is exactly why Irene hasn’t told anyone about her new plan.

  “Julia,” Iren says calmly. “This is over, okay? No more.”

  Julia manages a smile but Irene feels the need to leave before Julia continues the self-pity tour.

  “You know, I’m not very hungry,” says Irene after a moment. “This week has been particularly difficult for us. Me and Jordyn.”

  “Everything okay?”

  “I’m having such a hard time with her. I feel like we should be spending more time together and… well, I promised her I’d take her to the mall today and—”

  “Oh, sis. You can go if you want?”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, go. Spend time with her.”

  Irene rises and points to the food. “But—”

  “I’ve got it.” Julia waves her way.

  “Thank you, sis. You're a dear.”

  –

  In the car, Irene makes the call. “I have the key.”

  36

  ADAM

  One of the most difficult things to do after a loss is going back to work or school or wherever your daily life requires it; back to ‘normal.’ There is nothing normal about living without a person who’s gone forever, however.

  The nightmares continue, making much-needed sleep almost impossible. It’s nearly three-thirty in the morning and here I am, wide awake, having to be up for work in thirty minutes. Tianna’s desk was left intact; the stack of bills, her photos and calendar are where she always kept them. I saw no reason to move those things into storage.

  I’m taking an early shift at work so I can leave early and go to the post office and the DMV to get my address changed then to Irene’s to get my things. I’m not sure yet when or how to start the divorce process, but it has to be soon. I also need to start looking into Aaron’s adoption. Charles’s daughter-in-law, Ruth, is a lawyer, which means she may be able to guide me or recommend a good lawyer that can handle both things. I really hope that when Irene comes to the realization that I’m not going back, she'll agree to the divorce without any problems.

  I attempt to sleep for another twenty minutes without success. I sit on the edge of the bed, rubbing the stress out of my face and press my fingers to my eyes. I go get the light and proceed to gather my clothes from the closet. Tianna's clothes have been put in boxes and are sitting by the front door, waiting for Rita to take them to Goodwill later.

  I jump in the shower and the hot water instantly relaxes my muscles. I get dressed and one glance at my watch tells me I’m running late. Moving back to this side of town has added an extra ten minutes to my commute, which means no time to make coffee. I’ll have to readjust my schedule tomorrow. I take my laptop and phone from the table and put on my jacket. I look around the living room to make sure I’m not forgetting anything then grab my keys.

  –

  The good thing about an early shift is the traffic—or most specifically, no traffic. I pull into a gas station on Boulder Hwy and walk into the AM/PM where the lovely aroma of fresh coffee greets me. The clerk, a kid not much younger than Jaycob welcomes me without looking up from the magazine he’s reading. A few customers linger at the coffee area, filling their coffee mugs and making small talk. I nod to acknowledge my fellow morning people while pouring some magic juice. I take it black and approach the clerk to pay for it and a few bucks for gas.

  “Thanks, man, have a good day,” I say.

  –

  I arrive at work with ten minutes to spare and walk in the office where Marie, the reception, is already at her desk. As soon as she sees me she comes around her desk to give me a hug. She’s a young, eager woman who loves body art and colorful hair. She reminds me a great deal of Garcia, a character from Criminal Minds.

  “I'm so sorry, Adam.”

  “Thanks, Marie.”

  The lobby is a large room with a circular desk in the center. There are photos and paintings of airplanes and jet engines on the walls with a large mural of the Wright brothers’ first flight behind the reception desk. To the left is the hallway leading to the warehouse and my office.

  –

  Only a handful of engineers roam the production floor, getting a head start on the long day ahead. My branch handles the manufacturing of nuts, bolts and other parts needed for the repair, build, or replacement of jet engines.

  I walk into my office, turn on the lights and plug in my laptop. Once booted, I log my start time and print out my assignments for the day. My office is small, with a metal desk where I keep a photo of Jordyn and Colin together and one of Aaron, a file cabinet, a dusty old printer and more photos of airplanes decorate the walls.

  I step out of my office and, as I do each morning, walk the production floor, which is quite large, with rows upon rows of large machines and equipment. My job is to inspect those machines, each day to ensure safety and product quality. The second part of the job is answering emails and phone calls from vendors who are requesting certain parts and want to get a good deal. The traveling started a few years ago but has been more frequent recently. When I travel, my job is to attend conferences and find new clients. Having finished my walk I go back to my office to start the day.

  37

  AARON

  Aaron is feeling nervous about going back to school. He knows, and to some extent understands that things will be different. His mom is gone and he needs to keep going on without her, but he has no idea how to do that.

  Jaycob knocks on his door and Aaron opens his eyes.

  “Aaron? It’s time to get up,” Jaycob says it the way Aaron’s mom used to.

  “Okay.”

  He’s been feeling tired lately and doesn’t know why. He once heard his mom say that grief hurts the body too. He also feels discouraged and misses his mom more than he thought he could. Each morning his mom drove him to school and was there waiting for him after. He spent so much time with her that he’s not sure how to be without her.

  At seven-fifteen he gets out of bed, looks for his clothes in the closet and changes into jeans, a T-shirt,
and his hoodie. He puts on his Converse sneakers and then makes his bed before going to the bathroom to brush his teeth and comb his hair.

  He looks at himself in the mirror and thinks he looks different somehow. His mom’s absence has made him look a little older and he wonders why sadness makes people age faster and the thought makes his brown eyes glisten with tears.

  His hair is always short as his mom liked the clean-cut look. God, he can’t stop thinking about her and all the ways in which he’s going to miss her. He sighs as he recalls the times his mom helped him get ready for school, how sweet and patient she was. He hangs his head and goes to the kitchen where Jaycob is waiting.

  “Hey,” says Jaycob, pouring Reese’s Puffs into a bowl on the table. “Sleep okay?” he asks Aaron, who takes the milk from the refrigerator.

  “Yeah.” He pours milk into the bowl and sits to eat his cereal.

  Jaycob is leaning back against the counter, drinking coffee. “Thanksgiving’s coming up.”

  Aaron is puzzled and Jaycob elaborates. “Which means you’ll get another break from school.”

  Aaron manages a smile but Jaycob narrows his eyes and asks, “You sure you’re okay?”

  “Just… Thanksgiving’s gonna suck.”

  “Remember when grandma and grandpa died? When your mom made the new tradition?”

  Aaron nods. On the very first Thanksgiving without grandma and grandpa, they put two candles on the table and left them burning the entire day. His mom told them it was to be a new tradition. Aaron figures there will be three candles now.

  He understands that Jaycob wants to give him comfort, cheer him up, but it only makes Aaron even sadder. But he doesn’t want to cry in front of Jaycob because he wants to be brave, like Uncle Adam.

  They are quiet for a long time before Aaron asks, “So you know where to pick me up?”

  Jaycob looks to the ceiling and taps his chin, reciting his answer. “Let’s see… the yellow bench in the park in front of the school, next to the fire pit on the left. Right?”