Confessions: Julien (Confessions Series Book 2)

by Ella Frank

  Mm, smells delicious, he thought, as he scooped up a little bit of his nonna’s sauce and brought it to his lips to taste his handiwork. Hot damn, Nonna would be proud. It tasted as good as it smelled.

  When he’d been at the store earlier with Julien and they’d been talking about what he’d like to cook, Julien asked Robbie if he would share a meal that his family had loved cooking together, something that made Robbie think of home. While this was probably one of the most common meals found in an Italian household—and likely nothing impressive to a world-renowned chef—Robbie had decided on his nonna’s spaghetti.

  He remembered spending weekends with his sisters and cousins in their nonna’s kitchen mixing and kneading the pasta dough, and then arguing over who got to use the machine to roll it out into thin strips.

  Today, however, Robbie had left the pasta making to the professional, and watching Julien move around the kitchen was something else. He was totally in his element. It was as if all of his worries left him the second he put his apron on and switched on that part of his brain. It was wonderful to see.

  He’d poured flour onto a large cutting board, dug out a well, and cracked the eggs into the center of it with the ease of someone who did it every day. Then he’d added some olive oil and salt and mixed it altogether. After that, he’d pummeled the hell out of it.

  Robbie remembered Julien saying that crushing things helped clear his head, and Robbie figured strangling dough would be a good replacement for his parents if he wanted to keep Julien out of jail.

  Robbie placed the wooden spoon on the ceramic holder by the stove and turned to see Priest at the sink finishing off rinsing the cutting boards, pans, and cooking utensils as he stacked them into the dishwasher.

  Julien was now sitting at the island with a glass of wine, waiting for the go-ahead from Robbie to start cooking the pasta, and just as Robbie was about to tell him he could start, the music switched songs and Priest’s man, Sinatra, floated around the room.

  “Hey, it’s your guy,” Robbie said as “I’ve Got You Under My Skin” began to play.

  “So it is,” Priest said, as he tossed the dishtowel on the bench, and walked over to Robbie. “Would you like to dance?”

  “To this?” Robbie said, and Priest nodded. “Uh, I don’t know how.”

  “Really?”

  Robbie chuckled. “Yes, really.”

  Priest’s lips crooked up at the side, and then he walked over to Julien, took a sip of his wine, and, gallant as ever, held his hand out to his husband. “Julien?”

  Julien took Priest’s hand and slipped off his stool as though they’d done this a hundred times before, and as Robbie watched in wonder, Julien smiled and said, “I’d love to.”

  Priest pulled Julien into his arms, and Robbie felt his breath catch as the two of them then began a gentle waltz in the kitchen.

  It was beautiful, and such a tender, intimate moment, as they made their way over to Robbie, and then Priest looked at him and said, “Would you like us to teach you?”

  Robbie’s heart thumped at the thought, and suddenly he understood the appeal of the music, the magic of the mood it created, and found that he wanted nothing more than to be danced around the kitchen with one—or two—of these men.

  He nodded, and as Priest released Julien, Priest held a hand out to Robbie. He slid his palm along the top of Priest’s, and when Priest wound his other arm around Robbie’s waist and drew him in close, Robbie reminded himself to breathe.

  You were closer to him last night, Robbie told himself, feeling slightly foolish for how off balance this was making him feel. But somehow, here in the kitchen with the homey smells, laughter, and memories being created, this moment felt just as intimate.

  “We’ll start easy,” Priest said, as he began swaying with Robbie from side to side. “Get familiar with us holding you.”

  Oh, Jesus, is he serious? This charming side of Priest was a killer.

  Robbie glanced over his shoulder at Julien as if he was going to somehow help keep him on his feet. But he was no help, because Priest turned Robbie slightly, and then released his hold around his waist and spun him toward the handsome chef.

  Robbie took hold of Julien, who brought him in close and continued the gentle rocking from side to side, one hand around Robbie’s waist. The slow, sensual smile Robbie loved curved Julien’s lips, making his dimple appear, and it was so relaxed and so far removed from the pained man he’d seen last night that Robbie couldn’t help but reach out and trace his fingers over it.

  Julien turned his head and kissed Robbie’s fingertips. “Back to Priest for you.”

  He spun Robbie out, and this time when Priest caught him, he pulled Robbie flush up against him and moved his left leg forward, making Robbie step back.

  “Very good. Now to the side. Simple box step,” Priest said in a low voice that sent a shiver up Robbie’s spine, and Robbie concentrated on his moves and matched them. Only once did he mess up and step on Priest’s toes, making him chuckle, and Robbie grimaced.

  “I don’t think I’m very good at this.”

  “You’re doing great,” Priest said, and then kissed Robbie’s temple. “And this song fits you like a dream.”

  Robbie listened to the lyrics, loving each and every word, hoping he was deep in the heart of both these men, and then he tipped his face up to Priest, who kissed his nose and said, “It’s Julien’s turn.”

  He handed Robbie off, and as Julien took hold of him, Robbie stumbled over his own feet and giggled. “Sorry. Geez. I’m kind of ridiculous.”

  “Non,” Julien said, and as the song drew to an end, he brought their joined hands up to cover his heart and placed his cheek by Robbie’s. “You’re absolutely perfect, and so is today,” he whispered. “Merci beaucoup, mon cher petit.”

  Robbie found it difficult to respond with all that he was feeling, and instead rested his chin on Julien’s shoulder. When his eyes found Priest, who was now leaning back against the counter, he too mouthed thank you, and Robbie nodded and smiled, finding his heart was as full as it had ever been, right there in that kitchen with two men who had most certainly gotten under his skin.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  CONFESSION

  Home is where your heart is.

  Up until now, part of mine has been missing.

  Now it is full once more.

  BY THE TIME they arrived back in Chicago Sunday night, they were exhausted. Exhausted but better for having gone.

  Julien had finally been able to gain some semblance of peace. But he would likely never forgive himself in full for what happened that night, even if he did vow to make Jacquelyn’s anniversary one he celebrated instead of mourned.

  Robbie now understood what exactly it was their man dealt with, and Priest? He felt more content than he had in years as he stared at the two men sitting at their breakfast bar talking about their days ahead.

  “I have to work tonight,” Robbie said. “And I thought I’d ask Tate if he and, um, Logan would like to come to the opening of JULIEN. If that’s all right with you two.”

  “Actually…” Priest said as he turned his eyes on Julien, waiting for him to respond.

  “I already asked Tate if he wanted to come,” Julien finished.

  Robbie cocked his head to the side. “You did?”

  Julien nodded as he picked up his usual glass of vegetables and took a sip. “I did. I figured you’d like them there. But I thought you might hesitate because of your run-in with Logan. I know how important they are to you.”

  Robbie grinned and threw his arms around Julien’s neck, kissing him on the cheek. “You’re the sweetest. You know that, right?”

  Julien ran a hand down Robbie’s back and then tickled his side, making him laugh and squirm away. “I’m fairly certain the sweetest person in this room is the one with the pinkest cheeks, princesse.”

  Robbie brought his hands up to cover each side of his face, and then rolled his eyes. “It’s my ma’s fault. She
blushes like this too.”

  “I think it’s quite lovely,” Priest said from across the counter as he raised his coffee cup to his lips.

  “It’s embarrassing. I can never hide my feelings around you two.”

  “Good,” Priest said, and Julien added, “We never want you to hide from us.”

  “Oh, I’m not hiding. But, like, Priest? I could tell him that he has the biggest cock I’ve ever had inside me and he wouldn’t blush, he’d just say—”

  “Thank you,” Priest deadpanned.

  “See,” Robbie whined. “It’s seriously annoying how arrogant you are, but it totally works. And you,” Robbie said, looking at Julien. “You’re all sexy and sensual and French. I mean, shit, how am I not supposed to blush every time you say something to me? This is going to be seriously bad when you meet my family.”

  Priest’s hand froze with his coffee cup at his lips, and he replayed Robbie’s words over in his head. “Will that be sometime soon?”

  Robbie frowned at him and said, “Huh?”

  “You just said, ‘This is going to be seriously bad when you meet my family.’ I was just wondering if that was going to be sometime soon.”

  Robbie’s lips parted on a soft oh. Obviously not realizing what he’d said, he looked at Julien. “Um, well…” He grimaced and looked back to Priest. “I might’ve accidently invited them to the opening too.”

  “Accidently?” Julien asked as Robbie hopped off the stool and started to pace, running a hand through his hair.

  “Yeah. It was back when you first told me about it. I was talking to my ma about my nonna, and then she mentioned her cooking, and the next thing I knew, I was inviting her and my sisters. Shit. I don’t know what happened.” Robbie stopped and whirled around to face the two of them, his eyes looking slightly crazed. “What am I going to do? They can’t come. One look at me with the both of you and they’ll know what’s going on here.”

  Priest didn’t mean to, but a chuckle slipped free, and Robbie pinned him with a fierce stare. “Are you laughing?”

  Priest was about to deny it, but Robbie’s horrified expression made the chuckle turn to a full-on laugh.

  “You are laughing. Have you lost your mind? This is not funny.”

  Priest shrugged, finding this turn of events highly amusing—as did Julien, judging by the grin on his face. “You’re the one who invited them.”

  “And I just admitted that I didn’t know what the hell I was thinking.”

  Priest finished his coffee. “I think you did.”

  “What?” Robbie said, his eyes almost bugging out of his head. “You think I did it on purpose? You have lost your mind.”

  Priest went and rinsed his mug out and put it in the sink, then walked around the island, stopped in front of Robbie, and said, “I think you’re proud as hell of Julien—just like I am. And you wanted to show him off.”

  Robbie opened his mouth as if to argue, but then he pursed his lips. “That’s beside the point. This is not good. They’re going to know,” he said, and looked to Julien. “One look at me with the both of you and they’re going to know. I can’t hide it.”

  Priest leaned in to kiss his cheek and said, “When did we ask you to?”

  “Oh…um.” Robbie floundered a little, and then twisted his hands together. “So you’re not upset that I invited them?”

  Julien got to his feet and came over. “I’m glad you invited them, princesse. It’ll be nice to meet the people who helped mold you into the man you are today.”

  “And then, see, if you say something like that…” Robbie touched his fingers to his cheeks.

  “You’ll turn pink and we’ll want to eat you.” Robbie shook his head and turned to Priest, who kissed him hard and said, “Stop worrying. Unless you confirm anything, all your family can do is speculate.”

  Robbie sighed. “I suppose. And it’s not like it would be that huge of a shock. I’m not exactly the most conventional person in the world.”

  “Just the way we like you,” Priest said, and then stepped around him to pick up his briefcase. Once he had that and his keys in hand, he turned back to Julien. “Are you still planning to call Gail back today?”

  Julien winced but nodded. “Yes. I’m going to see if she’ll reschedule. With any luck, she won’t hold a grudge.”

  Priest frowned. “If she’s smart, she’ll realize she’s lucky you’re asking her back even though she broke your contract.”

  Julien placed a hand on Priest’s chest and kissed him. “Right.”

  “Right,” Priest said. “She was in the wrong, Julien. Don’t forget that.”

  “I won’t. Now go. Or you’ll be late.”

  Priest narrowed his eyes, but when Julien smiled, he felt himself relax. This was the Julien he’d been hoping to see. The Julien he recognized. “I’ll see you both later.”

  Robbie walked up beside Julien and took his hand in his, and with a final look at the both of them, Priest turned and left for the day, knowing in his heart that the two of them would be okay.

  IT WAS AMAZING WHAT a difference a few days made, Julien thought, as he stepped through the doors of the restaurant and took in his surroundings. When he’d left on Friday it’d been with a heavy heart, knowing exactly where he’d been heading, and today… Today he was walking in with a newfound vision of what he wanted for this place.

  It also didn’t hurt that he had Robbie standing beside him chattering away about anything and everything, trying to distract him, and Julien knew that was what Robbie was doing—not that he needed to.

  For the first time ever, Julien had been able to feel a sense of happiness this weekend for Jacquelyn’s anniversary, and it was amazing how much of a difference it made to celebrate her life as opposed to punish himself for it.

  “So what exactly am I supposed to wear to the opening?” Robbie asked as they wandered down the corridor that led to the elevator up to the skybox. The rest of the staff hadn’t arrived yet, but would at any moment. “Is it a fancy black-tie shindig? Or is it more a smart businessy-suit shindig?”

  Julien pushed the button on the elevator, and when the door opened he ushered Robbie inside. “More fancy black tie. There will be reporters and photographers, so you’ll—”

  “Want to look my best, of course. I mean, I always want to look that, but if it is going to be captured on film, I definitely need to go shopping and find something suitable.”

  As they reached the skybox and headed inside, something Robbie just said had Julien reaching for his arm. “Suitable?”

  “Well, yeah,” Robbie said as he turned to look at him. “I don’t want to embarrass you and Priest, and most of my clothes are—”

  “Gorgeous,” Julien finished for him, as he looked Robbie directly in the eye. “You can wear whatever you like. You could never embarrass us.”

  “You don’t have to say that, Jules,” Robbie said, and then shook his head. “I know I’m a little loud. Bright colors—”

  “Suit you. You’re one of the brightest, happiest people I’ve ever met, princesse. And whether you are in a black suit or a bright pink one, you will be the shiniest, loveliest person in attendance.”

  An extraordinary smile curved Robbie’s lips, and Julien put a hand on either side of his face and said, “I don’t know where you got the idea that Priest and I would ever be embarrassed by you, but you need to crush it. If it weren’t for our unusual relationship, and how it might make you feel telling people, we would have no problem announcing to the world that you were ours.”

  Robbie kissed the center of one of Julien’s hands, and then reached up to circle his wrist. “Yeah?”

  “Oui. We are quite…enchanted by our princesse.”

  “I’m quite enchanted by the both of you too,” Robbie said, and Julien chuckled and took his hand, leading him over to the table.

  When they got there, Robbie looked at the photos that lined the shelves. There was one of Julien from Chef Master and with Priest in Paris, and anoth
er with his idol Jacques Pepin, and Julien put a hand on Robbie’s back and said in his ear, “There’s a couple of photos missing from up there.”

  Julien opened the top flap of his messenger bag and pulled out a small black frame. Inside was the image of Jacquelyn standing by the Christmas tree, and as he set it on the shelf by Jacques, Julien trailed his fingers over it and whispered, “Now you’re back with me, ma petite poulette.”

  When Julien straightened, he said, “She should’ve always been here with me. That’s where she belongs. Not stuck back there where it’s cold and sad. But where I’m the happiest, because that’s what she used to make me, and that’s what all of these people have done. They have shaped my life and made me happy, and now there’s only one person missing.”

  Robbie wiped his cheek where a tear had escaped, and Julien pressed their lips together in a soft kiss. “I need one of you.”

  “Me?” Robbie said, and blinked a couple of times.

  “Oui. You,” Julien said, and then winked. “Just maybe not the ones of you in that red onesie. I’m going to keep those for Priest and me to enjoy alone.”

  “Oh yeah?” Robbie said as he sat down.

  “Mhmm. So if you like, maybe we can convince Priest to shuffle some things around in his schedule this week and we can all go shopping for something to wear.”

  Robbie’s eyes widened and his face lit up with joy. “Are you serious? Please say you’re serious right now.”

  Julien chuckled as he took his laptop and phone from his bag. “I’m quite serious. I’m a celebrity, remember? I’ve got to look hot on opening night.”

  Robbie ran his eyes up and down Julien’s body. “Uh, newsflash. You would look hot in a paper sack. But”—Robbie licked his lips—“there is no way I’m going to pass up the opportunity to go black-tie shopping with you and Priest.”

  “Oui… I heard about your claiming of a certain item of clothing belonging to our lawyer.”

  Robbie’s grin was full of mischief as he said, “Well, can you blame me? Material that expensive feels divine against the naked skin.”