Relic: Spear

by Ben Zackheim

  Ronin’s eyes darted around the disaster area. “Yeah, I think you’re right.”

  “What do you think, dwarf?” I asked.

  He closed his eyes and tried to get a bead on the spear.

  “Hurry up, shrimp,” Ronin said. She was getting nervous. An armed, nervous Ronin. Yay.

  “The spear ain’t here,” Alix said.

  “Are you sure?” I asked, just as a low, booming growl emerged from somewhere nearby. All three of us faced different directions. Whatever was stalking us, it had us right where it wanted us.

  “I’m sure,” Alix said with a touch of panic in his voice. “That way!” He pointed toward a wall.

  “Which direction is that way?” The growl exploded into a deafening roar. Ronin yelled as she aimed in a few dozen directions, including at me.

  “I dunno!” Alix yelled back.

  I made a decision about our next destination. I opened the Swap Portal to my left.

  And I opened the Vault Portal to my right. I needed a relic. We’d only swapped once, but I could already tell the Glocks weren’t going to cut it for this little adventure.

  “Don’t just stand there!” I yelled. “Go!”

  Alix and Ronin jumped through the Swap Portal as the growling noise turned into a scream. Whatever was making us piss our pants was savage. It was coming from behind me. It pushed the bricks aside, stumbling and sliding down the slopes of bricks all around me.

  I had about five seconds to live.

  The Vault Portal started to close all of a sudden. I reached into it and grabbed the sceptre of Was as it started to shut on my hand. I jerked my arm back and slid the sceptre through right as the portal blinked out of existence. Its dim light faded to nothing.

  Ronin and Alix had swapped with two vampires. Both of them looked around frantically. I think they realized what was happening to them right as I swung the sceptre into their faces. They stumbled back and fell into the shadows. I heard their bodies collide with the oncoming beast. Hard. I stepped into the Swap Portal as the screams of the vampires went from deafening to nothing.

  I didn’t know what the beast was, but I could make an educated guess.

  It was a wendigo.

  Chapter 45

  I swapped onto the skull of a vampire corpse, lost my balance and fell on my ass.

  Welcome to Colorado, Kane.

  I’d swapped us to the Colorado Spirit HQ. Otherwise known as ‘Ronin Country’. I always seemed to find a way to trip myself up in that fucking place. Whether it was pissing off an ill-tempered, nasty-mouthed door, or walking into a room where magic and science were having an orgy and birthing chaos, I never felt like myself there.

  “We already took care of the vampires for you,” Ronin said, holstering her Ruger. Alix’s fists were a bloody mess. He held the lower portion of a vampire’s jaw in one of his hands. He saw me look at it and dropped it, wiped the blood on his pants, and walked ahead of us.

  “That felt good,” he said.

  Ronin and I shared a look. She nodded her head, clearly impressed with the dwarf.

  Colorado HQ was infested. I could hear the hissing noises of nearby vamps.

  “They’re sniffing us out,” Ronin whispered. “But we’re in the boiler room, so we’ll hear them coming from a mile away. If we’re careful, we could take out a couple hundred of them in the hallway just outside this door here. This is a good place for us to land, actually.”

  “No, it isn’t,” Alix said.

  “Excuse me, dwarf. I used to run this place. I know what I’m talking about.”

  “The spear ain’t here, my dear. Closer, though. Which way is that?” He pointed toward the wall of boilers.

  Ronin answered quickly. “East.”

  I thought about what that meant. We would need to keep swapping until the spear’s scent, or aura, or whatever, got strong enough for Alix. “We just traveled west of Paris. So it may be on the American continent.”

  Ronin rolled her eyes. “Oh, that narrows it down!”

  I summoned the Swap Portal. “Patience. I think we should hit New York City next.”

  “Where in New York City?” Ronin asked.

  I gave myself a little time to think. It wasn’t easy. My gut was telling me to hurry up. Merlin knew I was coming. I knew we were walking into a trap. But what could I do about it? I had the sceptre. I had a reasonably strong team, though I would have preferred more brains and brawn. If I could just think of a way to surprise the wizard.

  Then I remembered something.

  I smiled. I couldn’t help it. It wasn’t a sure thing, but if we lost this battle at least we’d have some fun first. “I have an idea.”

  ***

  We left Colorado behind.

  We stepped onto the rooftop of a Manhattan building I knew pretty damn well.

  “Okay, now you’re going to tell me where we are, Arkwright.”

  “Why don’t you call me dicknose or slime-tongue anymore?” I asked, as I walked to the stairwell entrance.

  “Would you like me to?” she said, following.

  “Just wondering.”

  “No, you’re stalling. And the more you stall, the less trust I have. The less trust I have, the more you get called names.”

  “So you’re saying you respect me now?”

  “I was getting close, ass-dick.”

  We both heard a sniffle behind us. We turned to find Alix wiping away a tear. “Sorry ‘bout this,” he said. He walked past us and opened the stairwell door.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” Ronin asked.

  “I just didn’t realize you two were…”

  We waited for a second for him to finish his sentence. “Y’know,” he continued. He made a hand gesture that made Ronin and me squint in spiritual pain.

  “Thor! No!” I yelled, walking past him. I held the sceptre out in front of me. It glowed a bright orange near my hand and lit the way down.

  “You are way off!” Ronin yelled behind me. “He and I are not… UGH!”

  “But… but are yeh sure?”

  Ronin threw her hands up. “I’m pretty fucking sure, dwarf-dick!”

  “But that’s wonderful news, lovely lady!” I heard the two of them follow me down the steel steps. Two more floors to go.

  “Will you two keep it down?” I asked. “You can get it out of your systems later.”

  “There’s nothing to get out of my system!” Ronin yelled way too loud.

  The hisses from above us meant the vamps had heard our little discussion.

  Yes, banter can kill.

  I turned to my partners and stuck my finger in Ronin’s nose. “Zip it,” I whispered. She slapped my hand away and I stuck my finger in the dwarf’s nose. “Keep it in your pants.”

  Alix raised his hands in surrender and nodded. I glared back at Ronin to make sure she was done screaming.

  “We’re here,” I said. I pushed the stairwell door open.

  The hissing from above us got louder, closer. The vamps were sniffing us out from the rooftop. They’d catch our scent any second.

  Now we had to hurry. My plan needed time to work, but I’d just been handed a shorter schedule — with vampire fangs for added pressure.

  I peeked down the hall both ways. We walked silently toward the apartment door at the end. I found it locked, of course. I gestured for Ronin to step up as I backed away. I turned my flashlight on her so her shadow boxing could get to work. She made eye contact with me to make sure we were on the same page. I nodded and put my finger to my lips to tell her to keep it as quiet as possible. She nodded back.

  The shadow of her arm got a slight shade darker as she wrapped her hand around the doorknob. She shoved, and the door cracked open. It was loud, but it was the best we could do.

  I gave her the thumbs up. She pushed the door open and we filed in. Ronin closed the door behind us and asked, “Where are we?”

  I took a look around at the ultimate bachelor’s pad. Rich leather couches faced each other
in a square with a shag rug in the middle. The coffee table was made from troll bones and the shields of smited warriors.

  “This is a troll’s home,” Alix said, sniffing the air.

  “This is Dino’s home,” I said.

  Chapter 46

  “Smells like orgy jam in here,” Ronin said.

  I turned to her. “You have a real charming way of putting things. You know that?

  “Thanks,” she said, missing my sarcasm.

  Alix’s grin gave away his thoughts before he spoke a single word. “And how would you know the smell of orgy jam, lass?”

  She ignored the dwarf and turned a vase upside down to inspect it.

  I put a hand on the dwarf’s shoulder. “Is the spear nearby, Alix?”

  “Much closer now, yeah. Which direction is that?” He pointed at the huge windows overlooking the moonlit Manhattan skyline. I got a sinking feeling in my gut and it must have showed. “Yeesh, Kane! Why’re yeh looking like a slug lunch wants to come back up yer gullet?”

  “That’s north,” I said, pointing out the windows. I knew where we had to swap next, and I did not like it one bit.

  I walked down the apartment’s long hall toward Dino’s den. His third den. The apartment was huge. It was only one of two homes on the entire floor. I’d been to the apartment many times before, mostly for social calls. After the first visit, that is. The first time I’d seen it was when Dino kidnapped me as a teenager. Long story short, he kept me in the apartment and we got to be friends. Dino had the maturity of a teenage boy, so we played a lot of videogames and talked about girls. He never admitted it, but our friendship was what pushed him to retire from the Troll Guild. He was tired of kidnapping people for them.

  He’d helped me out of a dozen binds since then. And vice-versa.

  Alix’s rough voice broke up my walk down memory lane. “Why’re we here, Kane?” he asked me, before I could disappear into the den.

  “I want to get something from his collection.” I almost walked through the door but he stopped me with another question.

  “Where we headed next?” I could tell from his tone, he knew I was hiding something.

  “North, Alix. Like you said.” I entered the den and closed the door behind me to show him the conversation was finished. For the moment.

  If I told him we were headed to my upstate home next, Ronin would freak out. I had no doubt that my mansion had been destination number one for my enemies after the apocalypse hit. If Merlin was keeping Rebel there, then he’d had months to set up three million traps for me and my team.

  I looked around the third den, passing my flashlight over the dozens of statues and weapons and jewelry. Dino had been a big collector of relics from his own culture. He had the gold to spend, having been the best troll pilot in the world. By the way, being the best troll pilot in the world meant you were likely the best pilot in the world, period. His services were expensive and he spent every penny on treasures, cigars and women.

  I was searching for one relic in particular. I didn’t know if I had the skills to use it properly, but it was our best chance to surprise Rebel’s captors.

  Then I saw it. It hung on the wall, staring at me with dark eyes even my flashlight couldn’t brighten.

  The Doltrip.

  The mask was an eyesore, with a screaming mouth filled with hundreds of teeth and beady eyes. It was a mystical relic used in birthing ceremonies. The midwife troll would wear it during birth as a way to scare off death and disease. But I was more interested in how the mask reacted to real danger. According to Dino, the trolls were pushed into hiding by King Arthur and his knights. In the process, the females died at a quicker rate, leaving the men to fight for heirs. It was common for male trolls to steal babies immediately after birth and claim them as their own. The Doltrip would give the midwife the appearance of what the attacker feared the most to scare him off.

  If I could get the relic to work, it could help us save Rebel and maybe, just maybe, give us a clue about what Merlin feared most.

  That would be a good hand to play at a later date.

  I put on the mask and looked in a mirror. Nothing mystical happened. It was just a freaky fucking mask covering my face. Maybe that meant there was no danger nearby.

  Yeah, right.

  I removed the mask and headed to the living room. Ronin sat in a cozy chair. She leaned back, pushing her body deeper into the fabric and let out a moan of pleasure. Poor, smitten Alix stood behind the chair, shifting his weight from foot-to-foot as he tried to think of pick-up lines. He spotted me watching him and stood up straight.

  The dwarf cleared his throat. “What did you find, boy? I mean Kane.”

  I smirked and held up the mask. He and Ronin looked at it and made sour faces.

  “Looks like you,” Ronin said.

  “Thanks, sweetie,” I said, which ruffled her feathers and Alix’s. Bullseye.

  I opened the Swap Portal. We all gathered around it.

  “I assume you’ve already broken my trust and loaded up with normal rounds?” I asked Ronin.

  “Fuck yes, I did,” she said with no remorse about breaking our contract. “Way back at Freya’s.”

  “Figured as much. Ready?”

  “Yeh gonna tell us what we’re walking into, or not?” Alix asked.

  I nudged my way closer to the portal, just to make sure I’d be able to go first. It was the only way I’d be able to get them to swap without arguing for the next hour about tactics.

  “My house,” I said before I took one small step from Manhattan, and one giant leap toward a trap.

  Chapter 47

  I stepped into my home’s library.

  I was shocked. It was in perfect condition.

  I’m pretty sure my mouth dropped open as I examined the room. The stained glass dome in the ceiling was intact. The walls were the same deep red brick, unscathed by the flames of the apocalypse.

  And the books.

  The books were there. All of them.

  A profound sadness dropped on my chest and pushed its way up to my eyes. The pressure pushed out tears before I could do anything about it.

  I missed the world.

  I missed the knowledge those books had gathered. They all had the context of a reality that was obsessively tracked and recorded. But as I stood there at the end of the world, I knew, deep down, no one was documenting this part. No one could. Everyone and everything was just hoping to survive another day.

  I’d built that library over the years. The volumes were all read at least once. They’d been cataloged and cared for by me, at first, and then Lucas. When I’d last left the library behind, they were like my children, or really, really cool cats, at least.

  Now they felt empty. Old.

  Obsolete.

  I snapped out of my dark thoughts and realized there was a fire burning in the fireplace. Someone had made things nice and cozy for our arrival.

  I held the sceptre in one hand and a Glock in the other.

  Ronin stood behind me, studying the room. “Where’s the dwarf?” I whispered. She shrugged. I peeked back through the portal but I couldn’t make out anything. The blurry hole in the air was like a floating cataract, dim and hazy and hiding something I needed to see. “I’m going back for him.”

  Ronin put her hand on my shoulder. “It’s here. We don’t need him to tell us that.”

  “So now you’re the type who’s going to trust your feelings?”

  She shushed me. “You hear that?”

  I stood still and held my breath. I listened but couldn’t make out a single sound.

  “That’s the sound of you shutting up.” She walked toward the library door. I didn’t need to see her face to know she was grinning like a Halloween pumpkin.

  I had to make a choice. Either I went back for Alix, or I made sure Ronin didn’t blow up the mission with a dimwitted maneuver. Why would Alix not make it through the Swap Portal? There were only two reasons. One, he was attacked before he could ente
r. Second, there were only a couple of beings to swap with in my house. If there had been just two vampires there, then only two of us would be able to swap in.

  Neither option was a good sign for us. But the one that gave me a chill was the second one. My mansion had been a big prize for the vampires for years. They’d destroyed it twice already. From the condition of the place, someone had taken very good care of it while I was away. So then why would they only have two guards? I’d think a regiment of them would be needed.

  “Hurry up, Kane,” Ronin said from the library’s doorway. She held Rugers in both hands.

  “I’m thinking.”

  She sighed. “First of all, the dwarf can handle a couple of vamps. I watched him take five out in Colorado. The most likely option is that they know we’re coming. They abandoned the house and left two guards behind to swap with. So now it’s just you and me and whoever they’re sending after us. So my advice? Hurry the fuck up.”

  I stared at her, probably open-mouthed. The tactician in her was a step ahead of me. I smiled and headed for the door.

  “What are you smiling at?”

  “You’re right,” I said as I passed her on my way to the staircase. “But if they know we’re here then the next step is…”

  “Rebel?” I asked on the comm. “You there?”

  Nothing.

  I reached the top of the stairs and thought about the options. Where would the best place be to keep a hostage in my house? There were a few rooms that were high security. First was the security booth just off the garage. It was built like Fort Knox after the vamps bombed the hell out it on the Excalibur mission. I’d almost lost Rose and Cassidy that night. They were the point people at the security booth during attacks. I spent a small fortune to make sure they’d never be in danger again.

  It struck me how long ago all of that felt.

  Ronin passed by me. I jogged to catch up. “Hold on. Where are you headed?”

  “Following my nose.”

  “So did your creepy Spirit experiments make you a blood hound, too?”

  “We’ve always been able to find each other, Kane. When we were kids we’d run away from home. We’d hide in random places in the village. Even outside the village. But we’ve always had a bond that way, if nothing else. Twins thing I guess.”