For All The Right Reasons

by Brownell, Rachael

  "Well," I say when he doesn't tell me the results.

  "Do you want another baby, Jade?"

  Yes and no. Right now, if I had my choice, it would be just the three of us. I love the life we have, and it's about to get better. On the other hand, Jenny has been the best thing to happen to us. She's the one thing that was missing between Nathan and me. I'm not sure where we would be right now if I hadn't ended up pregnant.

  "I think Jenny was a blessing in disguise,” I start. “I love you with all my heart, but I'm not sure we'd be here right now if it weren't for her."

  "Yes, we would."

  "How are you so confident?" I ask as he sets the test aside, face down, and takes my hand in his.

  Running his thumb over my ring, twisting it on my fingers, he finally replies. "I was planning on proposing the night you told me you were pregnant. There was no doubt in my mind then, and there's no doubt now that you and I are meant to be together."

  He's waited that long to ask me? More than two years. Half the time we've known each other.

  "Why didn't you ask me that night?” I think I already know the answer to this, but I need to hear him say the words. I need him to confirm my suspicions, and he does.

  "Because I didn't want you to think I was only asking because you were pregnant. I didn't want you to think I was asking you for the wrong reasons. Every reason I've ever had for wanting to ask you to marry me has felt right, but the timing that night wasn't."

  "And so you carried my ring around all this time just waiting for the perfect moment. That sounds crazy, you know that, right?"

  Nathan's quiet for a minute before he clears his throat and drops a little bomb on me.

  "Remember how we were trying to find a moment alone at Gabby & Nathan's engagement party?" I nod and lean my head back against his chest, welcoming his warm embrace. "Jenny finally went down for a nap, and you and I slipped into the laundry room."

  "I was freaking out thinking someone was going to walk in on us."

  "Yep but not until after I dropped my pants."

  "I know. I felt horrible, but I couldn't stop laughing. You were ready to go, and I turned you down. The look on your face was hilarious. You were excited and frustrated and disappointed all at the same time, and your face was all scrunched up." I can't help but giggle at the memory. I made it up to him later that night but at the time, I couldn't stop laughing.

  "Yeah, well, your ring was in my pocket that day, and then it wasn't."

  My body stills when I realize the meaning behind his words.

  "It must have fallen out, and in my haste to redress, it somehow ended up under the washer. I was going to propose to you that night. Gabby and Quinn helped me plan everything. Right down to the little details. Except when I went to show Nana the ring I had bought you, it wasn't there.

  "Quinn and I searched everywhere. The driveway, the yard, the car. We looked in every room in the house and couldn't find it. When we got home that night, I searched our place. That's why I was under the dining room table. It was gone. I'd not only lost my perfect opportunity to propose, I'd lost your ring.

  "I was angry and sad. I tried to find you a replacement but nothing else was as beautiful. Nothing else reminded me of you. And then Quinn called."

  You can hear the anguish in his voice over losing my ring.

  "He found my ring," I say for him.

  "Gabby's parent’s washer broke, and the repairman found it. He gave it back to me yesterday. I wasn't about to wait any longer to ask you to marry me after that. It was a sign that the time was right even if it wasn't the perfect moment."

  "But it was. The moment was absolutely perfect.”

  For as long as I’ve waited for him to propose, for every moment that felt perfect as it passed us by without him asking me, I wouldn’t trade tonight for a single one of those moments. Nothing will ever compare to seeing Nathan on one knee, in the sand, with a look of hope and love in his eyes.

  "It was. It took a lot of last-minute preparations, but I'm glad it worked out."

  "So Gabby knows already?" I ask, tilting my head so I can gauge his reaction.

  "Nope. I made Quinn promise not to tell her, not that we're even a thought on their minds right now. I know what Quinn had planned for tonight after the reception. I guarantee they're not talking or thinking about us right now."

  They better not be. Gabby showed me the little surprise she bought for tonight. If that doesn't distract Quinn, nothing will. Hell, just looking at the itty-bitty scraps of material made me blush.

  I wouldn't be surprised if she ends up pregnant after tonight. If so, she'll have that lingerie to blame.

  "So are you going to tell me what the test said?" I ask, bringing the conversation back around. The tension in the room is mounting. Anxiety is creeping in.

  "Are you sure you want to know?"

  "Yeah. Whatever it says, I know we're in this together. Plus, it's not like I didn't think we'd have another kid someday. I didn't think it'd be this soon, but a child is a gift. Just like Jenny was. At least this time I feel like we're ready. A little more prepared."

  "A little?"

  "Okay," I laugh. "A lot more prepared."

  "Having your first child is a lot like someone throwing you into the deep end of the pool when you don't know how to swim. You either learn to tread water or sink."

  "And it's a lot easier to learn to tread water when you have someone next to you fighting to stay afloat."

  "I couldn't agree more."

  "So tell me. Are we adding another member to our family, Nathan?"

  He's quiet for a minute before reaching over and flipping the test so I can read the results for myself.

  The very inconclusive results.

  I should have splurged for the expensive test. The one with words. Pregnant. Not Pregnant.

  Straight to the point.

  There's no confusion.

  What I'm looking at is a blank test. I was expecting one pink line, or maybe two. I see none.

  I chugged three bottles of water and peed on my hand for nothing.

  "Do you want to take another test?” Nathan asks, giving me a slight squeeze when I don’t answer him right away.

  The package had three little sticks in there. I could pee on another one tonight, but I've lost all faith in the brand I bought.

  "Or in the morning. The box said the best results come from peeing first thing in the morning."

  Nathan's trying to be supportive, I get that. But I can't help but be a little frustrated with the results. Not knowing is the hardest part. That's why I bought the tests to begin with.

  "Jade," I hear him say, kissing the side of my neck. "Why don't we go to bed? Get some rest. Tomorrow we can try again."

  Nodding, I let out a sigh and push myself off the cold tiles of the bathroom floor.

  "Yes," I state firmly as I extend my hand to help Nathan up. "Let's go to bed. I really hope you weren't expecting to sleep, though."

  Wiggling my eyebrows at him, Nathan takes my hand and pulls me back down into his lap. All I need to get through this is him. By my side. Through anything. He's my strength when I feel weak. My sunshine on a cloudy day. My hearts beats with his, for him, and nothing is ever going to change that.

  Especially not a stupid pregnancy test.

  Chapter Thirty

  NATHAN

  "Are you sure you want to do this? We can wait another few months. It's not a big deal."

  The second the words leave my mouth, I regret them. Jade's staring at me with venom in her eyes. Sure, I've offered to move the wedding before. More than once. But I only want to make her happy.

  This is supposed to be her day.

  There will be hundreds of pictures taken to commemorate the occasion. Those same pictures will hang on the walls of the house we bought a few months ago. I want her to look at them fondly, not with remorse or regret.

  Plus, according to Gabby, her dress is getting a little tight. Jade had a breakdown at her
final fitting when the seamstress offered to put an adjustable backing on it "just in case" she continued to grow.

  And in the last two weeks, she has.

  Instead of looking slightly pregnant, Jade looks like she's about ready to pop. She's only seven months pregnant but is suddenly miserable on a daily basis. Our son is sitting on her bladder, kicking her in the ribs and making her life a living hell.

  For that very reason, she's taken to calling him Junior even though that's not the name we decided on.

  "We are getting married tomorrow. Nothing is going to stop that from happening, short of Junior deciding to make his grand entrance. Which isn't going to happen. I already talked to the doctor. She said everything looks good, normal. And we've taken every precaution she's suggested."

  Yeah. Every fucking precaution. Which means barely having sex, not that Jade's in the mood to get frisky anyway. But when she is, my girl has gotten a little kinky, and I like it.

  "I know, but you just don't seem as excited as when you started planning, and I want tomorrow to be perfect."

  We announced our engagement at brunch the day after Gabby and Quinn's wedding. Jade and Gabby immediately began planning. When I say immediately, I mean our wedding was detailed on a napkin and phone calls were already being made before brunch ended.

  A spring wedding.

  In the backyard of the house on the island.

  A small, intimate ceremony but a large reception back home after our honeymoon.

  Jade wanted our wedding to be about us, and I couldn't have been happier.

  By the time Gabby and Quinn returned from their honeymoon, we'd taken another pregnancy test that came back positive and visited the doctor. We were expecting a new addition to the family in the early summer.

  Which meant Jade would be in her third trimester when she walked down the aisle.

  She cried but refused to move the wedding. At first, I tried to convince her to move the wedding up, but the thought of having to 'throw together' a wedding on short notice made her cry harder. She didn't want to rush getting married because she was pregnant.

  Her words confirmed the decision I'd made years ago not to propose when she announced our first pregnancy.

  After she calmed down, I suggested moving the wedding back a year. Same plan only instead we would wait another twelve months. She wouldn’t be pregnant, and there would be more time to make arrangements.

  The look on her face... I thought she was going to kill me.

  She was hell-bent on sticking to her original plans. No matter how pregnant she was, she was getting married. But as the date crept up on us, her fears set in.

  What if something happens while we're on the island and Junior decides to make an appearance?

  The doctor set her at ease. I tried but lack the degree and knowledge to say such things.

  "I'm excited. It will be perfect." The determination in her voice reminds me of the girl I first met. Stubborn as hell.

  Though, if I remember correctly, she relented to having a secret affair with me. One that almost broke both of us at the end of summer. Only that flame never died. We found our way back to each other a year later and have been burning brightly ever since.

  Now she's going to be my wife.

  In less than twenty-four hours.

  Why am I trying to convince her to wait again?

  Oh yeah. She's pregnant. As gorgeous as she looks, I don’t want her to have any regrets about getting married with a protruding belly. I want her to look at the wedding pictures we hang with a smile on her face.

  "Okay, babe. As long as you're sure this is what you want. No regrets, right?"

  "No regrets," she echoes.

  With that, I seal our deal with a kiss. One that doesn't last long enough as she pushes me away, grabs my hand, and places it on her belly.

  "You feel that? Junior is either trying to kill me or break out."

  A distinct kick hits my hand, bringing a smile to my face. Our son is restless. He's going to give his mama a run for her money.

  Not me.

  I'm ready for a mini version of myself. One I can watch football with. Take fishing. Teach how to throw a baseball. To ride a bike.

  Jenny has become a mama's girl. Unless Uncle Quinn is around.

  Yes, she likes to hang out with me. But if given the choice, she'd choose playing dress-up with Jade. Or having her hair braided. Painting her fingernails.

  She's a girly girl.

  I love it.

  It makes me wonder if that's what Jade was like when she was little.

  She's my princess.

  And every night as I read her a story before tucking her into bed, she cuddles in my arms and she’s a daddy’s girl again at least for a few minutes. My favorite is when she asks me the story about her mama. I tell her that one at least once a week.

  How we met. How Jade pretended she wasn't interested in me. When I knew I was in love with her. How much fun we had that summer.

  I leave out all the inappropriate details, of course. She doesn't need to know I ravaged Jade any chance I had. That I had more sex that summer than I had in my previous three relationships combined. Or that I found a new level of ecstasy when it came to being with her mom.

  Those details are private.

  Jenny knows she was a product of our love. Junior will know that as well.

  She's been asking a lot of questions lately. Questions I didn't think a two-year-old would ever ask me. About marriage, love, babies. Not all of them make sense. They sometimes make me laugh. In the end, I try and give her the best answer I think she can understand.

  When she asked for a little sister instead of a brother... well, that was a tough conversation. She didn't understand that she couldn't pick. It was adorable at first, but she still refuses to accept my answer. She tells everyone Jade's having a girl, a little sister for her. Her name is Bella.

  She's going to be so disappointed when Junior finally makes his appearance.

  Speaking of Junior, I really hate calling him that. I wish Jade would let me announce his name already. She made me promise to wait until he was born. It's a special surprise for one member of our extended family.

  For the man who made tomorrow possible.

  "What are you smiling about over there?" Jade asks as she rubs her belly absentmindedly.

  The room is dark, the only light coming from below the bathroom door behind her, outlining her figure. She is all belly this time. The baby is sitting low, and if you're looking at her from behind, you'd never guess she was pregnant.

  She's stunning, though.

  She glows all day. This pregnancy has been a lot easier on her than when she was pregnant with Jenny. She hasn't had any sickness. Her body isn't as achy. The worst she's experienced is a little heartburn from time to time.

  And she's been horny as hell her entire pregnancy until recently. She'd wake me up in the morning ready to go, five hours after having sex the night before. She's insatiable.

  I love it.

  Her.

  I love her.

  Our life.

  Which makes me want to keep her pregnant for a few more years. I have a strange feeling she won't be on board with that plan. Two was the agreed-on number of children for now. We talked about maybe adding a third, but then we found out we were having a boy. One of each.

  "Just thinking about how much I love you and how I can't wait to marry you tomorrow," I reply quickly when I hear Jade clear her throat.

  "Oh, yeah?" Slowly crawling onto the bed, she doesn't stop until she's straddling me. "How would you like to have sex with your fiancée one last time?"

  Sitting up and pulling her body as close to mine as it can get right now, I kiss her deeply. There's nothing else in this world I'd rather do than make love to her tonight.

  I don't get the chance before there's a loud bang on the door of our hotel room.

  "I know you're in there, Jade. Get your ass back to your room."

  Gabby found us. Damn
it!

  Chapter Thirty-One

  JADE

  Payback really is a bitch.

  When I came up with the idea to keep Gabby and Quinn apart the night before their wedding, I never thought it would backfire in my face. Yet here I am, straddling my soon-to-be husband, and Gabby is outside the door to his hotel room, hollering at me.

  Would it be easy to pretend not to hear her?

  Sure.

  Would she go away?

  Probably not.

  I did try to keep my promise to her and stay in my own room. But Nathan and I were talking on the phone and I was missing him. I figured a short visit couldn't hurt. It's not like I was going to stay the night with him.

  Who am I kidding? I sleep better in his arms.

  Opening the door, I find Gabby, arms crossed over her chest and a pissed-off look on her face. "You lied to me."

  "No, I didn't. I'm not asleep. You said we couldn’t stay the night together. You never said I couldn't visit him."

  "You were about to have sex," she deadpans.

  How does she know these things? It's like she has ESP sometimes.

  "Fine. Let me grab my purse."

  Letting the door close between us, I apologize to Nathan, give him a swift kiss on the lips, and then I'm back in the hallway in thirty seconds or less.

  "You know," Gabby says as she loops her arm through mine. "I'm doing this because I love you."

  "No," I counter, glancing at her out of the corner of my eye. She's grinning like the little devil she knows she is. "You're doing this because I did the same thing to you. At least I was nice enough to put distance between the two of you."

  "You put an entire lake between us so I couldn't sneak into his room."

  "I know. Having Nathan down the hall is tempting, and you knew it would be."

  "Torture, right?"

  There's a hint of laughter in her voice. She should know better than to fuck with me right now. I feel like a balloon about to pop. When I do, a child is going to come flying out.

  "Not funny, bitch."