A Mother's Lie

by Sarah Zettel

  “You, at Disney?” Mom gave him the side-eye.

  “Oh, hell yeah. You never know who you’re going to run into. Lemme tell you…”

  And he launched into this long, complicated story about a buddy of his who got him in and how they ran around the place at night with all the guys who spent their days in the costumes. (“They make them live in these dormitories. Practically lock ’em in, but they all get out anyway. Magic Kingdom, my lily-white ass! Anyway, one night, me and this guy, we…”)

  Dana found herself listening without really meaning to. Then she found herself laughing. Her burger came, and it was juicy and tasted way better than it should have. She finished it and all her fries. Then she stole some of Mom’s. Mom drank cup after cup of coffee. Jeannie begged for dessert like a little kid, so they got a blondie sundae to split. Todd argued over shares and made this huge production of dividing it into exactly equal pieces, and then he started telling another story about working at a Dairy Queen in BFE Indiana and…and…

  “Okay.” Mom wiped her mouth. “Bathroom. Dana?”

  Dana didn’t get a chance to answer.

  “She’s fine.” Todd’s hand came down on her wrist. “We’ll wait for you here.”

  Just like that, the illusion exploded. It was everything Dana could do not to heave up her whole meal right there. She wanted to scream and turn the table over because she was so suddenly sick and very frightened.

  Because for a minute, it was like nothing else had ever happened. They were a real family, on a real road trip. She’d actually, literally, forgotten how she got here and what these two had done, what she had done, what Mom had let happen.

  How the hell was that even possible?

  “Okay.” Mom left and headed for the restroom. Todd called the waitress for the check.

  Jeannie beamed at Dana. But there was something hard behind her eyes. Keep going, it said. Whatever you’re thinking now, just keep going. “You know, I saw the cutest pair of jeans when we passed that Forever 21. I know they’d be just perfect for you, Dana…”

  But it was gone. Fake. Had never been. They were on the run again, and when Mom came back, Dana caught her eye, silently pleading for help.

  Wait for it, said her mother’s eyes.

  Keep going, said her grandmother’s.

  And what else could she do?

  CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE

  They finally wound up at a Holiday Inn Express by the Detroit airport. It was sometime past midnight. Beth had drained her third truck stop coffee since leaving the outlet mall. Her whole body was taut and vibrating from caffeine and adrenaline. Each time they stopped, Dad kept Dana in the car with him, making Jeannie be Beth’s keeper.

  “We’ll get our chance,” Beth murmured to her mother. “Don’t worry. I just need to get him clear of Dana. She cannot see this.”

  And she just had to keep praying Jeannie kept believing.

  The clerk behind the Holiday Inn desk was a small, brisk, black-haired woman who registered no surprise when a rumpled and slightly dazed family with shopping bags and duffles walked into her lobby. She ran Beth’s false credit card through the system without a second thought.

  “One room or two?” she asked.

  “Two rooms, I think, this time, Dad,” Beth said and grinned at the clerk. “Girl needs her bathroom space.”

  “Adjoining if you got ’em?” added Todd with a grin of his own. Beth tried not to be disappointed. She did try to catch Dana’s eye, but Dana was looking over her shoulder like she was measuring the distance to the lobby door.

  She hadn’t had a chance to talk to her daughter alone since that brief moment back in Schaumburg. She had no idea what Dana really believed about what was happening. All she could do was hope, and right now, her hope was running on fumes.

  Jeannie noticed where Dana’s attention had wandered as well. She put her arm around Dana’s shoulders.

  “It’s okay, hon.” Jeannie gave her a gentle shake and smiled at the clerk. “We’ll all be able to get some sleep real soon.”

  The clerk clicked her mouse and found two adjoining rooms on the third floor. She handed over the little cardboard folder with four keys. Beth reached for it, but Dad beat her to it. He slid the keys into the same pocket where he’d put the gun.

  In the narrow elevator, Beth crowded into the back, next to Dana for the first time in hours. She hooked her fingers into her daughter’s. After a heartbreaking moment, she felt Dana squeeze her fingers in answer, and Beth found she had a little hope left after all.

  She tried not to see how Jeannie held Dana’s other hand.

  Dad opened the first of the rooms and stood back while they herded themselves inside. He opened the other room, then went to the connecting door and knocked. “Lemme in!” he called cheerfully.

  “Jesus, Todd,” muttered Jeannie as she undid the door. “Keep it down, would you? We don’t need anybody calling the management over your big mouth!”

  Beth wrapped her arm around Dana’s cold shoulders and rubbed. Dana tolerated her, but nothing more. Beth wanted to tell her it would be okay, that there was a plan, that she would get them both out of here, just as soon…just as soon…

  “Okay, a few more house rules, and we can all get comfy,” Todd announced. “The connecting door does not close.” He took a washcloth off the rack and wedged it in place. “Family does not lock each other out. Clear? Okay. Now, I gotta go find my guys. Lemme have your IDs.” He made the gimme gesture. “Not you, Star. I know you’re set. Jeannie, yours, and Dana, what you got?”

  Dana scowled but dug her wallet out of her purse and handed over her student ID.

  “You sure? No learner’s permit?”

  “Yeah, like I really want to learn to drive now,” she muttered.

  Todd took two steps forward. Beth clenched her fists, but Jeannie just threaded her arm through his.

  “Easy, babe. She’s just tired. We all are.”

  Todd deflated, at least a little. “Yeah, yeah, well, you two better get some sleep, then. Star, you’re coming with me.”

  For a minute, Beth wanted to protest. Actually, she wanted to whine and stomp her feet. I’m too tired! I can’t drive anymore. I can’t leave my daughter again! I’m not going!

  Jeannie gave Beth a big smile and a quick hug. “Don’t worry, Beth. Dana and I will be fine until you get back.”

  But her hard eyes had an entirely different message.

  Now’s your chance, they said.

  In answer, Beth gave her the smallest possible nod. Then, she turned away and let her father usher her out of the room.

  CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX

  Detroit at night was a strange place. It had been a long time since Beth had been on a city street that was so deserted, but it was the scale that really got to her. Woodward Avenue was four broad lanes, all of them completely empty. They didn’t even pass any parked cars. Eventually, the downtown’s grand Gilded Age skyscrapers gave way to stretches of single-story brick buildings, where at least some signs for bars and party stores were lit. But that was only for a couple of blocks. After that came block after block of brick and clapboard houses, all of them boarded up or burned out or both. A blanked-out brick apartment building stood alone in the middle of a field of weeds.

  It was a whole city of nobody home, and it got under Beth’s skin. She clenched the steering wheel hard and kept her eyes on the crumbling road.

  Todd frowned at the derelict houses and dented street signs. Do you really know where we’re going? she wondered, and her hands tightened on the wheel again.

  Finally, the abandoned houses gave way to another highway overpass, and then a gas station, and then a liquor store and another block of brick buildings with their doors gated and their windows barred.

  “Here,” Dad said, pointing. Beth turned into the potholed driveway and the tiny, weedy parking lot in back.

  She shut off the engine. Silence settled, broken only by the distant rush of the trucks on I-75. There were no streetlights
here, just the glow from yet another party store’s sign leaking over the flat roof.

  Beth could feel her father watching her in the dark.

  She moved to unbuckle her seat belt, but Todd grabbed her arm.

  “Let’s you and me take a minute, Star.”

  Beth made herself sag back into the seat. Let him talk. You need to know what he’s thinking.

  “Now, you’re going to tell me just exactly what kind of lies you’ve been feeding Jeannie.” He said it casually, like he was still spinning bullshit stories about sneaking into Disney World.

  With the engine and the air conditioner off, the night’s warmth seeped straight into the car. Sweat prickled Beth’s arms and the back of her neck. “It’s nothing, Dad. I just need Mom to help keep Dana calm. She’s really confused about what’s going on and…”

  Dad reached his free hand into his jacket pocket. He pulled Beth’s gun out and rested it on his thigh.

  Pain stabbed like a spike into a single point of Beth’s skull. There’d never been a gun between them before. She was intimately familiar with his fists, his shouts, his hands closed around her arms and, once, her throat. She was ready for all those again. But there’d never been a gun. A gun was the apartment and Robert Early and knowing no one would save her. A gun was days of sickness and crazy and desperation.

  She had not for a minute forgotten he had it. It had been the implicit threat since he’d taken it off her. But seeing how casually and comfortably he held it renewed Beth’s awareness of how helpless she really was. Even if someone out in this strange, silent city night noticed when that thing went off, no one would come see what happened. She’d vanish for good this time, and Dana would never know why.

  “Dad, will you listen to me?” Beth hated how her voice shook, hated the bitter fear that rose up in her and the way her heart hammered. “Please, just…”

  There was just enough light to show her when Todd’s hand tightened on the grip.

  “Dad, please. There is something I have to tell you, and I couldn’t before, and…”

  “What you have to tell me, Star Bowen, is that you are never, ever going to try to break up my family again.” His voice caressed each word, like this was something he’d been wanting to say for a long time. “You think that girl is yours anymore? She is mine. Just like you and Jeannie have always been mine.” He spoke patiently. He understood she was slow and that she needed precise instructions. “I want you to say you’re mine, Star. Right now.” His thumb moved to rest on the safety.

  “We’re yours, Dad.” The words tasted like iron and copper. They smelled like smoke. “All of us.”

  “Good girl.” He patted her hand. “Smart girl. And you know it’s the truth, don’t you? You know it’s the truth for now and forever.” His thumb did not move off the safety. His gun hand did not stir at all. Beth stared at it, unable to lift her eyes.

  “Yes, Dad. I know it.”

  “There.” He took his free hand and caressed her chin, lifting her face until she had to look at his gentle smile. “Now, you had something that you wanted to say to me?”

  Her mouth had gone entirely dry. She had to swallow before she could speak again. “Nothing. Never mind.”

  “No, no, come on.” He cupped her cheek. “You can talk to me. I’m your father.”

  Think, think. You have to find a way to get this back on track. But her mind was as frozen as the rest of her, and all she could do was tell him the truth. “I’m afraid what you’re going to do to me.”

  His brows arched. “I’m not going to do anything, as long as you tell me the truth. Promise. Here. Look.” He set the gun on the dashboard, halfway between their seats. “There. That’s how much I trust you. What is it you want to tell me?”

  Beth felt suspended in midair. She kept her eyes on the gun. The butt was tilted toward Todd. The barrel toward her. Dad would see her the second she moved.

  Jeannie was waiting for Beth to kill this man, like she’d killed Bob Early. Her mother wanted him dead because she’d had enough and wanted out.

  Grab it. Her mouth that had been so dry had begun to water like she was hungry. Do it!

  “Jeannie’s not happy,” Beth heard herself say.

  “Yeah.” Todd sighed. “I had to do some stuff a few months back. She got jealous. You know how she is.” He smiled, inviting her to acknowledge their shared memories.

  Grab it. You’re still fast. You can do it.

  “Yeah. Well, she’s a little more than just jealous this time.” Beth rubbed her sweating palms against her jeans. “I think it’s the cancer. I think it’s got her, you know. I think it’s like she doesn’t care anymore.”

  “I’ll make it up to her. That’s why we’re going to Miami. She’ll cheer up as soon as we get down there. You know how she loves the heat.”

  Do it. End this. All of this. He deserves it.

  “You know, now that things are opening up, we might even be able to go to Cuba. Wouldn’t that just be the best?”

  Do it for Dana. You can handle Jeannie once he’s gone.

  “I mean, think about it. Rum and sun, and nobody gives a shit what you do as long as you’re not…”

  For Dana.

  “She wants me to kill you, Dad.”

  He stopped.

  Beth still could not look away from the gun. Her fingers curled around the belt across her chest. “She called me before I met up with you back at McKeirnan’s and told me the only way I was going to get Dana back was to kill you.”

  Silence dropped. Even the sound of the trucks had vanished. There was nothing left but the harsh sound of breath rattling in a tight throat. Beth couldn’t tell if it was his or hers.

  “Jeannie would never do that to me.” Todd breathed the words out like cigarette smoke. “This is you. You’re trying to get your kid out of here.”

  You got that right. Beth did not allow herself to hesitate. “Jeannie was the one who went and found Dana. Jeannie set her up and pulled her into all this mess. She ruined my life, Dad, and my daughter’s life. But she’s trying to end yours.” Beth stopped there and made sure he was looking directly into her eyes.

  See him. You know what he wants. He’s already told you what it is a thousand times. That’s where you hit, and you do it now.

  “I know that none of this was your idea,” she said. “You just wanted to take care of Jeannie, like you always took care of us. But she was getting jealous of your girlfriends.” Her mouth curled into a smile, but she did not know why. “You know, you can kind of see it. Some of them must have made some serious plays. I mean, how could they not?”

  “That’s what I told her! I was the one fighting them off! I never, ever did anything!”

  The lie was so familiar and expected that Beth’s confusion shattered. She found herself back on stable ground, able to look Todd in the face and remember that he was not the only one who had come here with a plan.

  “I know that, Dad! And so should Mom, especially after everything you’ve been through together.” Beth let her voice drop. “But instead of trusting you, she just goes ahead on her own and drags you into her trouble.”

  She shifted, turning her torso so she faced him fully.

  Look at me, Dad. See me. You taught me everything I know. Trust this monster you’ve made.

  “Mom was the one who actually killed Doug, wasn’t she? She set this whole goddamn thing up, and she killed him so Dana would be too scared to run away before she could bring me back here.”

  Beth laid her warm hand over her father’s cold one. She felt all the branches of his veins lying beneath his soft, old-man skin.

  “Jeannie took my daughter hostage and then told me I’d have to kill you to get her back. That is what I’m supposed to be doing right now.”

  “You’re talking shit.” Todd yanked his hand out from under hers. “Jeannie’s just mad. She’ll get over it.”

  Beth shrugged and sighed. “Okay, Dad. You know best. Are we going to go see these guys or what?”
She reached for her seat belt buckle again.

  “Wait. Now, you listen to me, Star—”

  There was no reason to hear the rest. “I’m done, Dad. I don’t care anymore. My life is pretty much over, so why should I? But Mom does not get to play me again.”

  “Star…”

  Now she did it. She grabbed the Glock off the dashboard. She held it high, finger off the trigger but on the safety.

  Dad’s eyes bulged, and his jaw dropped. A sweet, almost sexual warmth flooded Beth at the sight of her father’s blatant fear.

  Beth turned the gun around in her hand and held it out to him, butt first.

  “I’m not lying.”

  Beth waited. Todd lifted a steady hand and took the gun from her. Neither one of them looked away from the other. Neither one of them blinked.

  “I haven’t done anything worth dying for,” she said. “But I’m telling you, Jeannie has.”

  CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN

  When the door closed behind Mom and Todd, all Dana wanted to do was to run after her.

  Don’t leave me here.

  Jeannie let out a long, slow breath. “Whew! Okay. We made it.”

  I thought we were going to get out of here.

  “Hey, I’m hungry. Lunch was a long time ago. Are you hungry? Want to get a pizza or something?”

  Dana wasn’t really listening. It hit her that if she did run out the door, there was no way Jeannie could stop her. She could be out the emergency exit before the older woman could even start to catch up.

  Then what? She didn’t have a phone. She didn’t have any money except the bills in her jacket’s hidden pocket. She didn’t even have her dorky school ID anymore. But here they were, sitting in the middle of a whole strip of hotels and diners and gas stations with quickie marts. Maybe she had enough to buy a cheap phone. She could call Chelsea. Chelsea would help her figure out something.

  But what about Mom? What would Mom do if Dana wasn’t here when she got back? And what would Todd do to her?