Junkyard Pirate

by Jamie McFarlane

  "Trouble has followed us. We are sorry," AJ said.

  Arturo bowed slightly and backed away from the group. "I will pray for your safety."

  "I feel like a heel," AJ said, but he became distracted by the smell of roasted chicken and Jayne's eyes followed his to the basket.

  "Open that now," she said. "I'm starving."

  The three friends sat next to the fire and dug into the simple meal of beans, fried tortillas and roasted chicken.

  "What if we're wrong?" Darnell said. "What if Korgul take out their aggravation on these guys?"

  "We'll give the Korgul something else to think about," AJ said.

  "Like what?"

  "BB, you said your mission was two-fold: survey Earth's reserves of Fantastium and Blastorium and do a census on the Korgul. How's that possible?" AJ said. "It's not like we can go around counting Korgul any more than we can build a big enough detector."

  "It was never our intent to perform the survey or census on our own," she answered. "We had originally planned to infiltrate a Korgul stronghold and intercept their own data."

  "You didn't tell me about that," AJ said. "What stronghold? How many Korgul? Where?"

  "I bet I know," Darnell said.

  AJ looked at him. "How?"

  "I'm surprised you missed it. 2-F, would you project one of those Korgul Minor skeletons so we could all see it?" Darnell said. An alien skeleton appeared over the fire, slowly rotating. "Now, apply light gray skin and make those eyes nice and black."

  "Are you shitting me?" AJ asked. "How is it I never saw that before."

  "What? It looks like a kid's Halloween costume," Jayne said.

  "UFOs aren't exactly a big secret in the aerospace industry," Darnell said. "Sure, some of the sightings can be explained away by experimental craft, but not all. Why is it that the image of a thin-armed, big-headed, black-eyed alien is universal?"

  "Apparently, because those are Korgul Minor and they aren't as good a secret as they should be," Jayne said. "But that's hardly a location."

  "Sure, but you're missing the bigger picture," Darnell said. "If those aliens are real, what else might be real?"

  "Santa Claus?" Jayne said. "I have no idea."

  "Think aliens," AJ chuckled as he scooped his remaining beans onto a tortilla and stuffed it into his mouth. "And where does everyone think we've hidden them."

  "You can't be serious," Jayne said.

  "Just to be clear though, flying saucers aren't a real thing," Beverly said, appearing in a shimmering black jumpsuit with a glass helmet that looked like a fishbowl.

  Twenty-Three

  Stars in her Eyes

  Darnell whooped as he pushed the ship's nose down, accelerating as he followed the rocky mountain face. Having broken free from the trees, he followed his plotted course. "2-F, tighten up that forward view. And tone down those collision warnings. That blinking red is burning away my night vision." He nodded in satisfaction as 2-F adjusted the virtual overlay on his forward view.

  "You should not fly so low," Beverly said. "Earth radar and detection systems are not sophisticated enough to defeat Vred ship technology. Our biggest danger is being sighted by someone standing on the ground."

  "Acknowledged," Darnell said.

  After a few minutes and no changes, Beverly turned her attention to AJ. "I don't think he's listening to me."

  "Agreed," AJ said. "Does this bird have any offensive measures?"

  "Detection should be avoided," she insisted.

  "Darnell is currently in command of this ship," AJ said. "If he had any questions about your statement, he'd have asked for clarification. We're a team, BB, and once we're in the field, it's imperative that we let our members do what they do best. Darnell has a thousand hours of flying gunships through the worst kind of shit you've ever seen."

  Darnell grinned as he listened in on AJ's speech. At the end of it and without looking, Darnell held his thick fist out to AJ, who in turn, bumped it lightly in a show of solidarity. Beverly sucked in a breath to speak.

  "Pick your battles, Beverly," Jayne interrupted. "Maybe you'd like to show me where those atmospheric filters are? I might be sick if I have to smell this stench the whole trip back."

  Beverly pulled off her glass helmet and looked from Jayne to AJ. "Um, well, I see," she said. "Jack has access to the ship’s schematics. I'm sure he'd be happy to direct you."

  "About those guns?" AJ said.

  "We would make a better case to the Galactic Congress if we did not employ violence," Beverly said.

  "Bullshit," AJ growled. "Earth has been invaded by a violent species that has no qualms in using and discarding humans. If the Galactic Empire doesn't respect our right to defend ourselves, then screw 'em! These raccoons have teeth." Greybeard barked excitedly as AJ's voice rose. AJ rubbed the dog’s head, grateful for the show of support. "Don't hold out on me, BB. We're a team. Don't screw this up."

  Beverly sighed. "The long-range Vred 1201 shuttle has a single hardpoint for mounting a weapon. This particular ship is equipped with a low-power projectile accelerator."

  "What kind of projectile?"

  "I do not have data on this," she answered. "There is a hopper located in the 'tween deck, just inside the entry hatch."

  "Look at you and all your fancy jargon," he said.

  "I am under the impression that naval terminology is appropriate for describing vessels capable of interstellar operation," she said.

  "Works for me. Give me a light on that hopper." AJ jumped up from his chair and headed aft. A dull light-green glow showed beneath the scuffed layer of grime on the deck, outlining a rectangular panel two by three feet in dimension. At one end, a hand-width panel was illuminated. AJ grimaced as he pressed on the panel, his hands sliding in the goop that covered the ship's deck. A satisfying clunk sounded as one end of the floor section levered up.

  "You should scrape the material from the edges of the opening so it does not pollute the ‘tween deck," Beverly said.

  "Ugh," AJ said as he pushed decades of slime away from the edges of the open section. Once satisfied that he'd done what he could, AJ pulled up the floor section, revealing a compartment filled with flat discs the size of quarters with holes in their centers. "This thing shoots washers? How do they keep 'em flying straight?"

  "They are quite aerodynamic," she said. "This ship is equipped with simple steel mass projectiles. I must point out that the Blastorium stores are depleted."

  "Didn't we get some back at the junkyard?" AJ asked.

  "No, we only gathered Fantastium. If we hadn't brought that, we wouldn’t be making this trip."

  "What do we need Blastorium for?"

  "A new device," Beverly answered, a set of design schematics appearing in her hand.

  "We won’t have time," AJ said, pushing the floor panel closed. "I probably only bought us a couple of days by using Hector's bandits. Korgul will bring in bigger forces and they'll track that truck back to me soon enough."

  "Perhaps we should take a look at the manufactory," Beverly said. "It is quite good at creating the intricate parts required for Blastorium mining."

  AJ stood and brushed his filthy hands against his pants, attempting to remove the suspicious grime. "Darnell, what's our ETA?"

  "Give me seventy minutes," Darnell said. "I'm keeping things subsonic, otherwise the Air Force will pick up on us."

  "Copy that," AJ answered, his eyes drifting over to where Jayne was pulling wide filter media from her own floor hatch. Black and green ooze dripped from the media and was accompanied by a wave of putrid smell. "You need help, Doc?"

  "This might have been a critical mistake," Jayne said. "It’s loaded with botulinum toxin."

  Beverly adjusted her outfit, donning a white medical jacket and black-rimmed glasses. "I recommend replacing the filter and sealing the chamber. I have the recipe for a solvent that will easily defeat the poisons. If we had a more sophisticated manufactory, we could create a self-replicating device that feeds on the bacteri
a."

  "Nanobots?" AJ asked.

  "Precisely," Beverly said, lowering her glasses. "For now, a solvent will do. I've created a grocery order that has the missing ingredients. It will be delivered early tomorrow."

  "What's wrong with this thing?" AJ turned his attention to the microwave-sized manufactory. Upon close inspection, the housing of the device was covered with intricately etched metallic pathways.

  "It is not clear there is anything broken. It is simply offline. I was unable to remotely initiate a startup," Beverly said. "I suspect the Korgul Prime did not wish the Korgul Minor to have access to the machine as they were suffocating. The Korgul Minor are of minimal intelligence, but it would have been within their capacity to manufacture a means of escape."

  "You get how messed up that is, right?" AJ asked. "You know, one raccoon's perspective and all."

  "Albert Jenkins, I do not perceive you as a raccoon," Beverly said. "Again, it was your analogy that suggested humanity was treated by the Galactic Empire as humans treat raccoons."

  "You didn't deny it."

  She sighed and reluctantly nodded. "I'm afraid the analogy is not completely inaccurate. I do not perceive you in that way, though. I do not believe humanity was correctly measured on the Galactic Sentience Scale, especially when operating in a group."

  "I don't believe Jack shares your views," Jayne said.

  "He does not," Beverly agreed.

  "Focus, girls," AJ said. "How do we start this machine?"

  Beverly projected layers of circuit diagrams and mechanical pathways onto the machine. "I am not certain."

  "Go back one," AJ said as she slowly flipped through the layers. She did as he requested. "Clever." He reached to the back of the machine and grabbed a round button, turned it a quarter revolution, and then removed it.

  "What do you have?" Beverly asked, puttering in her rocket pack and inspecting the hollowed-out button he held.

  Without answering, AJ carried the button over to the panel where the projectiles for the weapon were stored and opened the hopper. He withdrew a single metallic disc and smiled as it slid in perfectly. "Feels like someone's been playing a bit too much Zork," he said as he twisted the button back into the machine.

  "An early computer game? I do not understand this reference." Beverly’s eyes grew wide as the machine thrummed to life. "How could you possibly make this connection?"

  Jayne chuckled. "Those games were all about solving puzzles by using found items."

  "The power was interrupted at that location," AJ said. "All it needed was a pathway through that button. We could have used anything. I just happened to remember those disks as being about the right size."

  A ding – suspiciously resembling the sound of a microwave echoed through the craft.

  "What was that?" Jayne asked.

  "I think Beverly is having fun with us," He opened the manufactory's door. Inside the machine sat a brush with flattened inch-wide, six-inch-long bristles. Next to the brush sat a transparent bubble filled with a yellowish fluid.

  "I could not make a large volume of solvent," Beverly said. "That is enough to clear the filters as well as the stains from your dress."

  Jayne plucked the wand and bottle of solvent from the machine and nodded, closing it. "Very thoughtful of you, Beverly. Jack, I hope you're taking notes."

  "Blastorium collector next?" AJ asked.

  The machine dinged again. AJ opened the door, surprised to find three pairs of sunglasses and a pair of rounded goggles with a wide band. AJ grinned as he pictured the goggles fitting over Greybeard's face. "I've tuned these glasses to expose Korgul-infected humans," she said. "I've also included an antenna that will allow for communication at considerable distance."

  "Fancy," AJ said, donning a pair. A carousel of frame styles appeared in front of him. When he reached for the carousel, his hand passed through but caused it to slowly rotate.

  "Indeed," Beverly said. "Select the style you're most comfortable with. The material will adjust to your choice. If you prefer nothing, it will conform to your nose and cheeks, all but invisible."

  "How's that possible?" AJ asked. "Let me guess. Vred."

  Beverly shook her head. "No. The Cheell were the first to discover mutable fabrics. I'll be charged forty Galactic Credits for the use of the Cheell intellectual property once I come into contact with a Galactic terminal."

  "And, Cheell look like what?" AJ asked.

  The projection of a narrow, roughly humanoid alien wearing a long silky robe appeared. The alien's head was tipped back, giving it a haughty appearance. The creature’s eyes were set apart slightly more than was normal for a human, but the most disturbing difference was the short, second pair of arms roughly halfway between shoulders and waist.

  "Tanderi is the Cheell home planet and is in the quadrant named for the species," Beverly said. "Tanderi have long been allies of Beltigersk. Representative Forknot, who you see projected there, is on the sentient rights subcommittee. She is a good friend."

  "Not bad looking," AJ said. "You know, if not for the extra arms and all. And what are those … yeah, that's weird."

  "Breasts?" Jayne looked up from where she was stripping gunk from the filter media. "Call them what they are, AJ. Nothing mystical about them."

  "That's where you're wrong, Doc," AJ said, grinning as he closed the manufactory door. He handed a pair of glasses to Jayne. Walking forward, he offered a pair to Darnell, who was sitting up straight, but had relaxed considerably as he gained confidence with the alien craft.

  Greybeard growled and flipped his head up a couple of times as AJ held the goggles out to him. AJ took the movement as a request and slipped the goggles over the dog's face. The goggles disappeared, melting into the bridge of Greybeard's nose.

  "Aww, buddy," Darnell chuckled, reaching over and patting the dog. "I thought they looked great on you." Greybeard yowled, but the goggles didn’t reappear. "Fifteen minutes to the US border. If we're going to get painted on radar, that's where it'll happen."

  "I've got faith in you," AJ said and walked back to where Jayne was working. "You need any help?"

  "Hold this," she said, handing him a filter that was cleaner than any surface within the ship, including himself. She carefully lowered herself through the hole in the deck and swiped at the edges of the filter cabinet. Her wand acted like a magic eraser on everything it touched, clearing goo while leaving a trail of powdered black residue behind. "My guess is that the intake lines are just as dirty," she said, reaching her arm into a six-inch hole.

  "With the manufactory running, I will construct a vent-crawling device to aid in this," Beverly said.

  "But not before the Blastorium collector," AJ reminded her.

  "I still do not understand your insistence on the use of destructive devices."

  "You were there when the Korgul jumped us. Do you think we would have gotten out if Darnell hadn't shot the place up?" AJ asked and then noticed Beverly's saddened look. "I'll promise you this: I'll prioritize not using force. But you have to understand, we're up against an overwhelming, superior force. We can't afford to ignore any advantage."

  "I will start on the collector as soon as this next item completes," Beverly said.

  "What's cooking?" AJ asked.

  "I would like to refill the Korgul habitation complex," Beverly said, pointing at the translucent grid that occupied most of the starboard wall aft of the entry hatch. "The device I'm creating will clean out the gunk and make them usable again."

  "Wish you'd asked me," AJ said. "We're taking that crap out of the ship."

  "And placing it where?" Beverly asked.

  "It's junk in my opinion. Change my mind if you can. Why should I do anything to help Korgul?" AJ challenged.

  "We could move it into the bunker," Jayne said, standing up and swiping the filter wand across the decking in front of her. With a deft move, she placed her arms on the metal and jumped up, swinging her butt around to land on the clean deck. "Hand me that filter."
>
  "I don't get why we want to keep a bunch of Korgul around," AJ said, trading her the filter for the cleaning wand.

  After sliding the filter in place, Jayne swung the decking back in place. "Because no matter what you say, you're going to want a choice between murdering your prisoners and keeping them healthy. Hand me that wand."

  "I don't want to be a prison warden, either." AJ helped her to her feet. Without hesitation, she swiped the wand down her arms and legs, clearing long scuffs of detritus. "Get my backside, would you?"

  The request broke his darkening mood and he chuckled. "I thought you'd never ask."

  "Here, give it to me," Jayne said, taking the wand from his hand. She looked earnestly into his eyes as she cleaned his face and then his clothing. "You can be as flippant as you want, Albert Jenkins. Beneath all that crap, you're an honorable man and I know what would happen to you if you did what you're suggesting."

  "To be clear," AJ said, interrupting her and placing his hands at the top of her hips. "We're talking about killing Korgul right? Because, I was kind of hoping you and me … you know."

  Jayne grinned, her eyebrows pitching in mock confusion. "Were you always this smooth with the girls?"

  "You just get me kind of …" he started to say, but she cut him off by leaning in for a kiss.

  "Flummoxed?" she asked, pushing his arms gently away as she separated from him.

  "Hot and bothered might be a better description."

  "You remember that," she said. "Now, do as I say and help Beverly get that Korgul maid bot into the condo. I've got another filter to clean."

  "Are you going to at least let me take the whole thing out of the ship?" AJ asked.

  "Of course," she said. "We'll put it in the bunker, like I said."

  "AJ, you're gonna want to see this," Darnell said, his voice tight.

  AJ pulled Jayne out of the third and final filter trap and jogged forward. The air quality in the cabin had improved considerably in the last half hour. He'd been looking forward to swabbing the decks with that same solvent but something in Darnell's voice told him accomplishing that task was no longer in the cards.