Hot Mess: A Players Rockstar Romance (Players #1)

by Diamond, Jaine

  I sighed. “It’s none of your fucking business,” I informed Daniella.

  “Oh, hell no. If you’re about to storm out on my sister, on our birthday, you’re the biggest fucking douche in the world and you need to know it. And that is definitely my business.”

  She was probably right, at least about the storming out thing, but that shit got right under my skin. How had I become the douche in this situation?

  So I got right in her face and told her, “I realize she’s your sister and you love her, but so do I. Stay out of my relationship with her.”

  Then I went to move past her, but stopped. I ripped the onyx ring off my finger and shoved it into her hand.

  “You can give her this,” I said.

  Then I pushed past her and beelined through the crowd for the door.

  Shiiit.

  What the hell did I just do?

  What the hell did I just say?

  So do I…?

  I just told Danica’s sister that I loved her. Came out of my mouth way too easily, too.

  Then I gave her back the ring?

  What the fuck was I doing, really?

  Was I going insane?

  Was I falling for this girl?

  Yeah, idiot. Fucking news flash.

  You’re falling for this girl.

  And I just couldn’t handle it.

  Her ex-boyfriend showed up on her birthday… and I was a total fucking disaster over it.

  I wanted to go right back to Daniella and demand my ring back.

  I wanted to go right back to Danica, actually, and take her in my arms, let her tell me what a fucking idiot I was being.

  But I didn’t do either of those things.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Danica

  I stood staring at the onyx ring in my sister’s hand.

  Ashley’s ring.

  I’d seen him stop to talk to her after he’d walked away from me, and it didn’t exactly look like a friendly talk. By the time I met her in the crowd, he’d stalked off and she had his ring.

  And seeing it lying there in her hand… it really sank in how upset he was.

  About stupid Carter.

  I could see Ash across the room now, just inside the door, with Summer and a couple of her girlfriends. Haz stood next to him.

  Was he really leaving?

  Walking out on me? On my birthday?

  I took the ring from Daniella’s hand, and I watched him. And it wasn’t even Ashley standing there with Summer that had my attention.

  It was the other girl. The blonde girl at Summer’s side.

  She was talking to Ashley.

  I really didn’t know what to make of her. I’d seen her when Ashley introduced me to Summer, but… she just didn’t look like she belonged here. For one, she looked too young. Like fresh-faced teenager young. She was beautiful, but she wasn’t even wearing makeup and she was underdressed in a weird way, in a hoodie and jeans that covered what appeared to be a cheerleader’s body.

  She didn’t smile much, but she was definitely talking to Ash.

  And she was definitely beautiful.

  Eventually, he tapped her arm and leaned in as if to say Catch you later or something like that, and then I watched him and Haz leave the bar.

  The girls didn’t go with them.

  And for a moment, I just stood here, maybe a little in shock. Wondering if I should go after Ashley… or not.

  “Danica.”

  I refocused on my sister’s face. She was standing right next to me, studying me.

  “Are you staying?” she asked me. “Or are you going…?”

  “I don’t know,” I said.

  “Well, I think you should—”

  I didn’t wait to hear what she was about to say.

  Summer was walking toward me, and I went to meet her in the crowd. She took hold of my arm and squeezed.

  “Did he really leave?” I asked her. I was still kind of in shock.

  “Don’t let him,” she said to me. “If you care about him—”

  “I do.”

  “Then don’t let him walk out on you tonight, hon.”

  “But… I just saw him leave…”

  “He’s gonna try to run away,” she said, her blue eyes filled with compassion as she squeezed my arm again. “Trust me, Danica, he’s gonna try. If you want him… just don’t let him get away with it.”

  * * *

  Not thirty seconds later, I was chasing a man through the streets of Gastown—and through the rain. Because, of course, it had to rain on me tonight.

  In my high heels and skimpy birthday dress.

  I felt like I was in some romantic movie. At the end part where the hero or heroine goes running through the rain and into the arms of their true love…

  Except that I wasn’t looking for a hug and an epic screen kiss.

  I kinda wanted to slap my man upside the head right now.

  Then maybe a kiss after that.

  I just couldn’t tell if this was a rom-com or a tragedy.

  I was a little pissed off. Which was interesting. I didn’t get truly mad very often.

  But something about Ashley throwing a tantrum on me in a bar and taking off—at my birthday party, no less—really rubbed me the wrong way. I knew we’d just had our first official fight. But I didn’t expect him to take off the ring and then take off, right in the middle of my party.

  And Summer’s words just kept replaying, like the beat of some song I couldn’t get out of my head.

  Don’t let him.

  There was water between my toes, squishing in my leather pumps. My boobs were flying everywhere and I had to wrap my arms around my chest for extra support and decency.

  And oh yes, there were catcalls.

  Ugh.

  Even so, the actual chasing-a-man-through-the-rain part didn’t feel as stupid as it probably should’ve. This man was worth it.

  I was pretty sure…

  I was wearing his onyx ring on my thumb, gripping it in my hand. And I was determined to give it back to him.

  Even if he didn’t want me, he was keeping this ring.

  Or maybe I was just fixating on giving the ring back to him because the possibility of him not wanting me anymore wasn’t something I wanted to consider.

  It took me three long blocks to catch up to him and Haz, and by then, I was even more annoyed. The dude had long legs and walked way faster than any human should be able to. Or at least it felt that way as I navigated the wet, uneven sidewalk in my heels.

  “Hey!” I called when they were in earshot, and they both turned to look over their shoulders. Ashley stopped when he saw me, turning to me, and I stopped right in front of him.

  He waved Haz off, and Haz headed over to the wall of the luxury hotel next to us, where he lounged in the shadows. And hopefully couldn’t hear this.

  Bad enough it had to happen in the street. I didn’t really want witnesses.

  I stared at Ashley, but he didn’t speak. Neither of us had an umbrella, and my hair was getting ruined. At least he had a hat. Another reason to be annoyed. I’d had great hair tonight.

  Birthday hair.

  “Did you just throw a tantrum and storm out of my birthday party?” I demanded.

  He didn’t answer that right away. Just stared at me with a blank-yet-irritated look. Yeah, he’d perfected that look. Probably scared a lot of people away with it, which was the purpose, I supposed.

  Didn’t work on me.

  Ashley could act cold all he wanted, but I knew he really wasn’t.

  “I may have,” he said.

  “So you think you can just leave my birthday party.”

  He looked me over. My dress was wet and stuck to me and I was almost out of breath and I must’ve looked like a psycho.

  “I can’t?” he said, sounding way more amused than he had a right to.

  Was this entertaining to him?

  Oh, hell no.

  “Absolutely not. I haven’t had my cake yet.” I
smeared my damp hair back from my face and sighed. “And thanks to you, now my birthday hair is ruined.”

  He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the rain, just under cover of the grand hotel entrance. “Your hair looks fine,” he said.

  “No, it doesn’t. Oh, no. It looks wet and ridiculous. About five minutes ago, it looked fantastic. At no point tonight has it looked fine.”

  His lips quirked. “It looks sexy,” he amended.

  I rolled my eyes a bit. “You were right, okay? About Carter.”

  Damn, but I hated to admit that.

  “Who?” he said, giving me another dead-cold look.

  Right. Like he’d already forgotten his name.

  “My ex-boyfriend.”

  “Right about what?”

  I sighed again. “Last night, after dinner… he kind of made a move on me.”

  “He did fucking what?”

  “I guess… he’s been trying to win me back, just like you said. Lying to me about his motives. I thought we were being mature, staying friends. He thought differently.” I hugged myself. It was kinda chilly in my birthday dress. “I didn’t stand up to him, either. I just let it go. I guess I thought I could handle it. Handle him. But I should’ve been more firm. Then maybe he wouldn’t have shown up tonight, like he thought I’d actually want him to or something.” Jesus. I hated the uncertainty in my own voice. “Maybe I’m just not very good at being firm with people. You know, drawing boundaries. Too nice and all that crap.”

  Ashley cleared his throat. “There’s nothing wrong with being a nice person, Danica.”

  “I didn’t invite him out tonight, Ashley, I swear. I mean, I think everyone deserves respect and all. I was trying to be polite about it. But I was actually kind of hoping I could get him to leave when you… interrupted.”

  “You were?” He seemed relieved to hear it, but he really didn’t look happy that I was upset. So that was something.

  “Yes, but I wasn’t doing it very well. I don’t think he was getting the message.”

  “Trust me, I gave him the message,” he said bluntly.

  “Yeah. And I guess I thank you for that. But that’s really not the point. Did you just give me an ultimatum back there? Like, you or him?”

  Now he looked kinda sorry for his words in the bar. Maybe. But he didn’t apologize or take them back. “Something like that.”

  “Well, if you haven’t figured it out yet, I choose you.”

  A smile started to form on his lips.

  “But. What is it you expect of me?” I asked him. “In your mind, I’m not allowed to have any friend who has a penis?”

  “Define friend.”

  “Friend. End of definition.”

  “That dude is not your friend,” he said.

  And I knew he was right. Deep down, I knew.

  How many times had my sister told me that exact same thing?

  Maybe I was just annoyed that I hadn’t seen it all along. That maybe Carter never was trustworthy. That I should’ve listened to Taylor and my sister when they tried to warn me about him.

  That Dani was right and I was wrong.

  “So you don’t trust me at all?” I asked him.

  Ashley shook his head, slowly. “It’s got nothing to do with trust, Danica. You want me or you want someone else.”

  “When have I ever given you the idea that I wanted someone else?” I asked him. “Just because I wanted to take things slowly between us at first doesn’t mean I wanted someone else.”

  “You had your ex-boyfriend hanging around. Coming to your birthday dinner, instead of me. What was I supposed to think?”

  “You brought your ex-girlfriend to my birthday party, and I didn’t get upset about it,” I pointed out. “And you have my sister’s name tattooed between your legs.”

  “Yeah. Because that was some stupid shit I did when I was drunk and messed up. You know how much stupid shit I’ve done in my life?” He growled like he was too frustrated for words.

  Then he grabbed my hand, and pulled me into the hotel with him. Into the enormous, sprawling lobby. There was an open lounge nearby with music playing, and people were wandering around.

  Ashley sat me down in a big armchair and stood in front of me like he was about to put on a show. Luckily, the music was pretty loud, so no one was listening to us. I had a feeling this was about to get ugly.

  “Here you go,” he said. “Here’s a whole shitload of stupid-ass things I’ve done in my life, and these are just off the top of my head.”

  “Ashley, you don’t—”

  “Let’s see,” he cut me off. “I let my band fall apart, way too fucking slowly, when I should’ve known sooner we were doomed. I let my dad stop me from finding my mom until it was too late and she was already dead. I convinced myself that maybe my best friend could love me when he couldn’t.”

  “Ash. You really don’t have to—”

  “I kissed my best friend,” he went on, “as if he was gonna suddenly change his mind, oh, and his sexuality, and we’d live happily ever after. I pretended I didn’t want to be Elle’s boyfriend when I did. I told Summer I didn’t love her anymore when I did. Oh, and here’s a good one. I told you I was never gonna fall in love with you. Are you noticing a pattern here? Every one of those stupid things was because I let myself love someone, and then I made the mistake of acting too late, or acting too fucking stupid. Honestly, I should’ve kissed you the exact second I found out you weren’t Daniella, and made you mine.”

  I smiled a bit. “I mean… Madeleine was standing right there. It might’ve been awkward.”

  “Fuck it.”

  He grabbed me and pulled me to my feet—and kissed me, thoroughly. Until my toes curled in my shoes and I was almost out of breath.

  When he broke away to catch his breath, he told me, “I’m sick of doing stupid shit and screwing up and missing my fucking chance and pretending I don’t feel what I feel. This is what I feel, and fuck you if you don’t want it.”

  “I want it. Do you hear me? I want you, Ash.”

  We kissed again. And as our bodies entwined… it definitely felt like a swoon-worthy movie moment.

  Then I gasped for air, clinging to him. I was starting to feel a little dizzy, in the best way. “Did you just tell me off?”

  “Probably. Sounds like some stupid shit I would do.”

  “You also tossed away the ring I gave you. My great-grandfather’s ring.”

  He stared at me. “You said it had no value.”

  “Well… it doesn’t, really.”

  “Danica,” he growled.

  “I gave it to you because I knew it would look great on you,” I told him. “And I wanted you to have it. Not so you could toss it away. If you don’t want it, you could’ve just said so.”

  “I didn’t toss it away,” he said. “I gave it to your sister to give back to you.”

  “Do you want to wear it or not?” God, were we really arguing about this?

  “Give it to me.”

  I slipped it off my thumb and pushed it into his palm. He put it back on his middle finger.

  “There,” he said. “You happy?”

  “No. I’m still annoyed with you.”

  He kissed me, and when I tried to pull away to give him more shit, he kept kissing me until I gave in.

  When we finally broke apart for air again, I asked him, “Who was that girl? In the bar, with Summer. The one you were talking to before you left. You know… the pretty blonde.”

  His eyes narrowed a bit, like he was reading my interest for what it was. God, I was transparent.

  “That’s Courteney Clarke,” he said. “Her brother’s this killer, large-time record producer Summer wants us to work with. Even Summer can’t get Cary Clarke out to party with her, so she’s working any angle she can to try to get to him.”

  I had no idea who Cary Clarke was, so I wasn’t sure how far-fetched a goal that might be for someone like DJ Summer. “Will she succeed?”

  “I
doubt it. But try telling her that.”

  “I won’t,” I said.

  “Honestly, I just put in some small talk with Courteney to make Summer happy.”

  “Hmm. Is she even old enough to be in the bar? She kinda looks like she’s in high school.”

  “I don’t think so. But close.” He studied me. “You okay?” I took that to mean, You jealous?

  “I’m great,” I told him. “Just… making sure.”

  “Making sure of what?”

  I sighed. “That you’re not the kind of guy who’d want to leave me thinking you picked up some other girl on your way out of the bar after we had a fight.”

  “I’m not that kind of guy,” he said.

  “Carter is,” I said quietly.

  “Danica…”

  “Please believe me when I say I am never getting back together with him. And… you’re the only guy I want to celebrate my birthday with.”

  He cocked an eyebrow at me. “Thought you didn’t like celebrating your birthday at all.”

  “For you? I’d put up with it. Especially if there’s cake.” Then I kissed him again, my lips lingering on his. “Come back to the bar with me. Please.”

  “Okay,” he said, but we just stood there, kissing. “Do we have to, though…?”

  “Yeah. I mean, eventually…?”

  “Shit,” he said, his voice all husky. “We need privacy. I want you naked right now.”

  “Yeah.” I couldn’t even think; his kisses had fogged up my brain.

  But hell, yes. I wanted to be naked with him. I wanted him inside me.

  Right now.

  Forget the damn bar.

  We needed makeup sex.

  “My place is like six blocks,” he murmured against my lips. “I was just gonna storm home…”

  “Yeah. Sorry I interrupted your tantrum.”

  He smirked, his lips curling against mine. “Think this place has some beds, though, right upstairs…”

  “Then let’s get one.”

  He grinned, deposited me on the armchair again and headed over to the front desk. Sure, we were about to rent a hotel room so we could fuck… but the gesture felt romantic as hell.

  It was a really nice hotel.