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Bramah and the Beggar Boy

Page 8

by Renée Sarojini Saklikar


  Clipped, braided locks; six red eyelashes, singed

  At that moment in the Capitol: guns.

  Behind the back aisle of the grocery store

  Seated, he looked upwards to that painting

  Horseshoes inverted, clattering cobble—

  Factory girls wept saying, No matter what,

  each of them survivors of his abuse.

  Dr. Anderson, as Kept by the Investigator

  Partial Video Surveillance:

  Dear,

  You were always steps ahead.

  Your words echo, their timbre

  a location. You stood close to me, that time

  we were in the gallery, in the park, inside a crowd

  your urgent breathless voice

  in my ear, Oh, you said my name

  you told me you were with a man

  such excitement in your vibration

  and I scoffed

  did not pay attention—

  see, you are my age so will know what to do.

  Do you ever fret about, say, the neck?

  Or under the eye, or lower down: hips, the backs of thighs, belly?

  Or do you strut in confidence?

  Sustenance is the gaze. You taught me that.

  Years ago, you said, I need to have—

  and without, I’m not

  and again, I just dismissed you.

  Oh, I understand now. That gaze, those moments

  before touch, there is a kind of energy—

  You will never see these pages.

  I keep them here, in Rentalsman.

  Online, I search for and cannot help

  Panic, he won’t keep me here much longer and then—

  Villagers say I am beating the odds.

  I’m obsessed with surface

  It is a territory.

  Some days in the city, outside,

  every woman is better than, is the one who will

  for whom I’ll be, or am.

  I refuse to count the number of times he looks at me.

  Days when we return from the Commons, I allow myself to forget,

  prisoner.

  Dr. Anderson, Collaborator

  Only the length of shadows to tell time

  his voice softest when he is about to—

  A small scar on the inside of his thumb

  Guards shift their weight, metal clanging on stone

  They cough, dry dust swirling under locked doors

  sliding open to this room, the sound of our breath

  Strawberry blonde, he says, his hands on my hair—

  With swollen fingers, he traces congealed

  the first letter of my name, whispered,

  Call this your tattoo, his breath warm on my neck

  of the brand he placed on my back, he says,

  Just like the other girls.

  Save, I am not.

  As for me and my shame, I have no such

  ——distance from the fact that I told him.

  Names and locations and yet,

  what my body accepted my spirit

  did not. Find me here in Rentalsman though

  a kept woman.

  Dr. Anderson Sings Herself to Sleep

  How many miles to

  How many roads to

  How many years since

  Oh, at night I’ve viewed the Inner-Net.

  Search, click, names of names.

  I will create my Obscura

  Content and repeat

  Page view, deeper, the number higher

  Each search, something, someone, from the past—

  Your face, your words, the things you made

  Your life and its place

  Oh, at night I’ve searched, name by name

  Others you’ve known, I track them down

  Action is mortification.

  Lurker, and timid, last night a photograph.

  You, standing with others. I found their names.

  Could not hold in memory. Pencilled in

  Clicked and clicked—

  Today, your power haunts me

  Assessment endless, an itemization of parts

  Ratio of, contrast to

  My flaws

  And I know I will return

  Drawn to image, defeated by image—

  This place of no mercy.

  Dr. Anderson: Testimony

  Afternoon, month ending to blend

  I read these notes left in an old oak box:

  Un coup de dés

  Jamais, jamais

  Outside a brigade

  chained, they dig trenches, singing.

  I have seen them at the close of day

  chance, hazard

  lodged into the body’s softest

  most secret places

  Imagine, said the women held with me.

  Imagine, I said, recanting

  and knew a different set of rules. Approved and applied:

  my lab bombed, my chalice dismantled, pieces—

  My name is Abigail Ellen Anderson,

  grandniece of my Aunty Agatha.

  My parents perished in the year I was born.

  Yes, it’s true.

  Aunty Agatha once met her, that girl locksmith.

  She said her name was Bramah.

  The Last Dream of Dr. A.E. Anderson

  that girl stood; feet encased

  newspapers torn

  abandoned, the lab where once

  traced—

  they would wake, dreams hollow

  filled with other things

  un/birthed, un/sought, nevertheless

  longed for—

  his beauty frightened me, she said.

  And I’d forgotten: my own first name, stitched

  inside lower left shoulder seam, I.D.

  tagged, Dr. A.E. Anderson, mask torn:

  Come away, Abigail Ellen, says Aunty Agatha:

  —Courage, girl, for the way forward—

  The Last Words of Dr. A.E. Anderson

  and I was warned

  afterward, the aftertime—

  I entered that tunnel, those echoing footsteps—

  tank turrets swivel left to right, take aim

  Molotov! scream one-armed boys, their small bones

  on the mountains, fire—in the Courtyard, dust.

  Catastrophe is an earthquake of the soul

  how the body stores pain, vein to arteries,

  in the streets, masked youth,

  those children of university professors

  Pacifica to Santiago, all along our coast

  all my warnings, after, ignored:

  distance a space between two lovers.

  They told me I’d succumb and indeed, I gave over—

  bereft I said and said again: your lips will still sting from—

  The prosecutor will state I gave succour to an invader,

  the defence will claim I had no choice, standing

  and alone, my stained ripped mask hanging off one ear—

  They predicted I would be stripped of privileges:

  In the basement of the hospital laundry, one care worker—

  after, they tortured her, too.

  My resistance will amount to little,

  only a name bestowed upon:

  Abigail—sweet little beggar girl-child

  she’ll be mine.

  The Spy’s Tale to the Investigator

  By this time so used were we to wattle and clay,

  we always knew to begin that way

  We longed for plastic, the bend and bright

  of foil, and aluminum strong.

  Oh, t
he sheen of nylon, its many uses,

  us with our shopping bags and containers.

  Multifarious! No one saw steel. Iron maybe.

  Wood hoarded. Lock and Key.

  Yes, we heard a name, Bramah.

  No, not once was seen.

  Just an old aunty with a Pippin File.

  Guards repeated what she said:

  I’ve come for my girl’s girl

  I’ll open your lock with a click and a twirl.

  The Information

  On the Desk of the Investigator:

  Authorization: Guards of the Fifth Gate

  As produced: One Beggar Boy, age un/known

  Successful rendering: 1

  Tower Juniper: Monitors disabled

  Name: Un/known

  Resists all attempts at translation, the Investigator writes in his notebook.

  Outside the compound, a group of Beggar Boys chant.

  Jamais, Jamais

  Report as Delivered:

  diverted medical supplies, resorted to Consortium.

  stockpile inventory proceeding.

  all transport routes secured.

  six cases of serum located.

  names of subjects, as inoculated, forthcoming.

  Tribunal Meeting of the Consortium

  To begin, a meeting of the shareholders.

  A trillion orders of, and successful.

  All the doctor’s clinical trials ended.

  Air transports arranged, their private shuttles.

  The necessary transactions signed, sent.

  Catered wine, a sumptuous lunch: pre-takeoff.

  Embossed in gold on their indictment folders,

  This is what we have built, and it is good.

  The name, Anderson, A.E., then removed.

  Outside the Tribunal, chain gangs digging

  trenches to prop up Consortium’s wall.

  In shackles the captured resisters sing,

  This is what we must build, forgive our work.

  Outside, Beggar Boys chant, IED, baby.

  Inside, the Tribunal’s Secretary declines to call

  any witnesses.

  After the Meeting, a Verdict

  Sword Girls, cheeks tear-stained, chased by Guards, screamed loud:

  Let all evil die and the good endure!

  Inside their pockets, fragments of torn text

  a letter, untouched by Guards, too unsure

  to search those quicksilver limbs, fast moving.

  Outside the Detention Centre, armed men.

  By nightfall a ragtag bunch of Beggar Boys

  haul cans of stolen red paint:

  After the Verdict, Orders: Signed & Sealed

  On the desk of the Investigator:

  a set of gold rings, engraved, pressed red wax:

  Ransomed Healed Restored Forgiven.

  Swirling red capes of the Guards

  embroidered, Charity, our rifle shots, not fired

  yet—

  The Execution of Dr. A.E. Anderson, 2057

  The Song of the Stonebreakers’ Yard

  That rapid gunfire, close to her chest—

  blindfolded and slender, the way she fell

  they’ll burn her notes, they’ll kill all who tell.

  They called her the brightest, they called her the best.

  Bring them the dullards, no stories to mull

  her strawberry-blonde hair, shorn to the skull—

  Smuggled Out of Detention Centre C

  Dear Aunty Agatha,

  After the Battle of Kingsway—

  how I wish—

  and to have told you, everything

  and cannot.

  I do not know why on certain days—

  Time, the hours, distance, the miles—

  To recall moments in this unending—

  I dread knowledge, act of discovery

  inevitable———not yet

  ever-present———not yet

  oh these my silent pleas

  ——world without mercy

  I found this little girl, beggar Outside Perimeter.

  If I should die before—

  oh Aunty—

  take her away from this place.

  Signed, with affection, your loving niece,

  A.

  Report of the Guards of the Fifth, After a Search for the Little Beggar Girl

  We knew to search them huts, wattle and clay,

  we always knew to begin that way

  We longed for concrete, squared strong, clean corners

  Outside Perimeter’s edge, only camps.

  Oh, the sheen of nylon, its many uses,

  zip-ties handy, swift stun guns held hip height—

  Multifarious! No one saw steel. Iron maybe.

  Wood hoarded. Lock and Key.

  Yes, we heard a name, Bramah.

  No, not once was seen.

  Just an old aunty with a Pippin File.

  Look, she mumbled into her shawl and said:

  I’ve come for my girl’s girl

  I’ll open your lock with a click and a twirl.

  We all laughed. Didn’t mind her words, not then.

  Four Aunties at Perimeter’s Edge

  —rain landing, courtside abandoned, gates swung

  —asphalt cracks extending—we found her bag

  —the good doctor, we said, and bent to reach—

  —fissure, this, we whispered—outside Tower Juniper

  —we held the brown hand of that little girl

  —we told those children as was taught, and said:

  Just Call Her Abigail

  Aftermath: Resisters and Migrants Imprisoned

  As found in a witness statement, struck from the record by order of the Investigator

  —from the doctor formerly known as A.E. Anderson

  Don’t let them forget how to make soap

  Don’t let them forget how to make soap

  Don’t let them—

  At the End of the Parchment Scroll

  And did they then weep, sat back on their heels

  fingers rubbing those rough tattered edges.

  And did Bramah say under her soft breath,

  We’ll find Aunty Agatha and ask her—

  And did Bramah say, Sweep everything else

  save this parchment scroll, tied up with red string—

  And did they ferry that old oak box, empty

  under night’s cover, no moons to shine bright—

  Well, some say it different, they say:

  Bramah with trembling hand folded the scroll

  her warm skin, the Beggar Boy’s hands, so cold,

  they smoothed parchment, tied up with red string pulled

  from Bramah’s pocket. The oak chest hauled out,

  lighter than expected. Under night’s cover

  they fled the farmhouse, looking back only

  once where howled a lone wolf high in the hills.

  The Adventures of Bramah and the Beggar Boy Continued

  Return to the Winter Portal

  Seasons of mists, those Beggar Boys sang soft,

  magical island of primrose and mist

  bribe the Ferryman to give you his list.

  Thatched eves, winnowing wind, high in the loft.

  Shift-Tilt: our seasons ran cold, marble halls

  We called out, chained, from departing buses—

  Draco in three thousand, Vega in twelve

  Those Beggar Boys replied, their small hands raised—

  Draco in three thousand, Vega in twelve

  Marble halls, where seasons ran cold, tilt-shift

  This present, that is our future

  We’ll come back—in twenty-five-nine-two-oh

  We’ll come back—in twenty-five-nine-two-oh

  Bramah Teaches the Beggar Boy
About the Stars

  From Draco to Vega, one degree of—

  arcs, those rising places, seventy years

  plus two, on the horizon and to the right—

  clockwise, wobbling like a dying top, if

  lips were to call out, no one would hear such—

  messages, extended circles, one journey

  to conquer the years, thousands and thousands

  Equinox: we were called to travel and——

  Honey Hunting in the Wilds of the Western Borealis

  Where the forest floor fell, a huge red oak

  combs refilled nearer to the tree of bees

  circling into figure eights, eastward line.

  She told us of a forest: ash, poplar, beech, birch

  knot holes, up high in hemlock, wild pouring—

  men, she told us, stole thousands of pounds.

  She told us of mutant variants, genes wild

 

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