What Happens When

by Samantha Boyette

  “How much do we really need to prepare?” Connor shrugs. “We’re right.” A murmur of agreement radiates through the room.

  “The other side will be thinking the same thing,” Mrs. Bianco says. She moves to stand beside Lily. “This parent firmly believes that we’re doing this strictly to shove the idea that queer is normal down people’s throats.”

  “It is normal,” Dani says. She’s sitting in front beside Connor and Emma. They both nod.

  “Yeah, but plenty of people don’t think that.” Mick is leaning on a bookshelf.

  “I’m not sure I think it is normal.” The kid who says it is Jesse Reyes. He’s a big Latino guy in a football jersey and not someone I ever expected to see here. Muttering fills the room, but he has no problem talking over it. “But I don’t think that’s the issue here. Normal or not, you can’t bully people for what they are. That kid should have been able to take a dude to the dance and have a good time without people giving him crap. It wouldn’t have hurt anyone and he would still be alive.”

  “That’s what we need to convince the school board of,” Mrs. Bianco says, looking at Lily. Lily nods. “Whether or not Jacob King was normal isn’t the issue. This dance is about raising money so that schools can create a positive environment for people different than the mainstream. This can mean sexuality, race, religion, anything. This is about increasing the safety and inclusiveness within schools.”

  “All right.” Lily nods again. “We’re open to ideas.”

  Chapter Thirty-seven

  Sitting down to dinner with Mom and Dan, I realized how much I’ve missed being home at dinner. Between Zia and working at the diner, I’ve rarely been home for it.

  “How did the Queer Alliance meeting go?” Mom asks, before taking a bite of lasagna.

  “Awesome. Like a million kids showed up.” I grin.

  “By a million she means about sixty,” Luke says. He’s already finished one slice of lasagna and is moving on to his second.

  “Compared to the twelve or so who usually show, that is like a million,” I say.

  “Did you come up with a plan for the review?” Dan asks. I really do love him. Seeing Dad always makes me realize how much happier I am having Dan around every day.

  “A few things.” I shrug. “Lily will speak, but we’re encouraging everyone who was at the meeting to come and show their support. Parents too.” I raise a questioning eyebrow at Mom.

  “Oh, we’ll be there. Don’t worry.” She reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. “We’re very proud of you.” Looking at Luke she says, “Both of you. If I see Carmen’s dad I’m going to very politely tell him to shove it.”

  I laugh, almost choking on my dinner. I take a gulp of water to clear my throat. “I would pay to see that.”

  “We could charge people to see that,” Luke says.

  After dinner I head upstairs to continue catching up on homework. I feel like I’m finally getting a handle on it, but it’s beating me down and I head to bed early. I’m almost asleep when my phone beeps. I open my eyes and pale blue-gray light fills the room from the phone screen. Shutting my eyes, I try to slip away into sleep. It’s no use, I’ve seen that I have a text, and like a well-trained dog I must answer it.

  Sighing, I sit up and tug my phone closer by its charging cord. I smile when I see the text is from Lily.

  Lily: I can’t sleep. Too nervous.

  Me: Sleep’s overrated. And you’ll be fine.

  Lily: Easy for you to say, you don’t have to talk in front of the school board.

  Me: True. Do you know what you’re going to say?

  Lily: I think. I just hope it doesn’t sound dumb.

  Me: It won’t. You’re going to have sixty kids backing you up. That never would’ve happened if you didn’t start the Queer Alliance.

  Me: You’re amazing.

  Lily: Just keep telling me that.

  Me: No problem =)

  When she doesn’t reply right away, I lie down again. Of course, now I’m wide awake. I wish Lily was here with me instead of in her own bed. That would kind of go against her taking-it-slow rule, but even if we didn’t so much as kiss it would be nice to be lying in the dark with her, whispering the conversation. I can’t help but imagine the way the ambient light would soften her already beautiful face. She’s nervous, so she’d probably bite her lip between thoughts, and God help me but I think that is so cute.

  I groan and pull my extra pillow over my face. Now I really am not going to get to sleep. Thinking about Lily lying in my bed leads to all sorts of other thoughts that make me feel like a teenage boy with a hard-on. I mean really, I never felt this way before coming out. Now it’s like my brain has permission to think about cute girls, so it’s making up for lost time.

  I pick up my phone and scroll through, hovering over Zia’s name. In that moment, every bone in my body wants to text her. I mean, sure, we’re done with whatever it was we were doing, but isn’t that the perfect time for a booty call? When I click on her name, it brings up a picture of us. We’re sitting on the break wall, both of us freezing our asses off, huddled close together. I focus on her. She’s leaning her head on my shoulder and smiling widely though strands of dirty blonde hair that blew across her face.

  She’s beautiful in the picture, like model beautiful. I think about that first kiss in her kitchen and my stomach clenches as a spark of something flows through me. It’s only a memory of what I felt that day, but it’s still intense.

  Before I can talk myself out of it I scroll through the phone and delete every picture of Zia and shut off my phone. I’m trying to start something real with Lily. I can’t fall back on Zia just because Lily wants to take it slow. That would make me a douchebag. I set the phone on my bedside table and return to thinking about Lily. About the way her sweater hugged her curves today, about the way she hugged me after the Queer Alliance meeting, and about that smile of hers that could challenge the sun. Suddenly, it’s beyond easy not to think about Zia.

  Chapter Thirty-eight

  “It’s going to be okay.” I pull Lily into a quick hug. Her hands flutter against my back, almost returning the hug before pulling away to worry some more.

  “What if I can’t convince them?” She chews on her lip again. I’m honestly a little surprised it’s still attached. “What if they cancel the fund-raiser and everything goes back to normal around here?”

  “What do you mean?” I check my phone. The meeting is starting in ten minutes, and we’re stuck in the bathroom so Lily can have a panic attack. About twenty kids from the group had showed up when we left the auditorium.

  “I feel like I’ve been living in a fairy tale since I got here. High school kids aren’t this good and accepting in the real world.”

  I shrug. “Sometimes they surprise you.” I put my hands on her arms and run them down to clasp her hands. “Now, come on, we need to get in there before it starts. If you’re not there, I don’t know who will make the speech, and then we’re really screwed.”

  “Yeah.” Lily squeezes my hands. “Yeah, okay. Let’s go.” She turns to the mirror, adjusting herself once more. Her dark curls cascade perfectly around her face. Her floral print dress is belted at the waist with a three-quarter-length-sleeve sweater over it. Her boots complete the outfit. She reminds me of a model, and it takes all my self-control not to pull her in and kiss her.

  We turn down the hallway to find people crowded around the now-open door to the elementary school auditorium. From what I understand, they hold board meetings here to provide room in case people show up. Usually, the hundred-person auditorium is more than big enough. Not today.

  Everyone in the hallway is from the Queer Alliance and they smile, nod, or wish Lily luck as we slip past them and into the room. She looks overwhelmed and doesn’t pull away when I put my hand into hers for support. We stop just inside the doors, taking in the crowd. Our group has swelled in the few minutes we spent in the bathroom. There are more than a hundred people in the audit
orium, and most of them are our people. Mom and Dan smile as my eyes sweep past them, but it is someone closer to the door who catches my eye.

  Zia stands there with a bunch of kids from Queer Alliance. If she was anyone else she would have just blended in. She gives me a hesitant smile and a small wave. I only swallow hard and turn to Lily. “You’re going to be great, okay?”

  “Yeah.” Lily nods. “I can’t believe how many people are here.”

  “This is what we wanted,” I say. “To show the board that the students are behind this. Go on, get onstage.”

  I watch as Lily makes her way to the stage where chairs have been set up. She sits beside Mrs. Bianco, who is smiling widely. A few feet away, on the other side of a podium, Carmen and her dad, Mr. Jones, sit frowning at the audience. The school board members sit in the first row of seats, ready for all arguments.

  I glance at Zia again, and she waves me over. I sigh and head her way.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask.

  Zia’s smile falters. “I wanted to support you.”

  “How did you even know about this?” I glance at the people around us, but they don’t seem to be paying attention to us.

  “I overheard a bunch of students talking about it at the diner.”

  “Well, thanks for coming.” I turn to leave, but she takes my arm.

  “Hey, will you wait a minute?”

  I stop, mostly because her fingers on my arm seem to be burning me right through my thin jacket. “What?” I turn to her again.

  “I just want to apologize for everything that happened between us.”

  “You don’t have to. You know I wanted it.”

  Zia frowns. “You know that’s not what I meant. I mean the fighting and me being a jerk.”

  “It’s okay.” I’m looking at her hand still on my arm. As if just realizing she is still touching me, she pulls her hand away. I look up at her and hold her gaze a moment before I turn and walk to where Connor, Luke, and Gavin are standing. I hope none of them noticed me talking to her.

  My legs are shaking as I reach them, but they only turn to me with brief smiles before returning their attention to the stage. A member of the school board heads for the podium. He’s an older man in a suit and tie. He clears his throat and begins to speak.

  “Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.” He shields his eyes from the overhead light and scans the room. “A lot of unfamiliar faces here tonight.” That causes a giggle to run through the room. “For anyone who doesn’t know why we are here tonight, it is to review a planned fund-raiser hosted by the Queer Alliance. In case you don’t know what that is, it is a new club formed this year to help support queer youth in our school. They are planning a dance where students will raise money for an organization that provides schools with the training necessary to deal with the growing diversity within their walls. This money will be earned for each song that two people of the same sex spend dancing together. Mr. Jones and his daughter have expressed concern with the moral agenda this is forcing on the school. I will give Mr. Jones the floor.”

  There is a smattering of clapping as Mr. Jones stands and moves to the podium. There is also a smattering of booing that he largely ignores. I wince, wishing we had told people not to do that.

  “Good evening.” The microphone crackles when he speaks into it. “For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Doug Jones. I’m a churchgoing family man who wants the best for his daughter. It is my belief that my daughter has the right to attend a school where the amoral agendas of a small subgroup are not promoted to the larger student body. My daughter wouldn’t be allowed to host a fund-raiser where money was earned by how many prayers were spoken, so why allow this?” He pauses and his eyes scan over the crowd. “Why normalize something that is in its very essence abnormal? It is this continued early exposure to this lifestyle that is making so many people choose it these days.”

  “Dickhead,” Gavin whispers, leaning close. I smile, but nudge him to shut up as Mr. Jones continues talking.

  “I didn’t know spending so much time with you could make me gay.” Luke grins and elbows me to show he is teasing.

  “As a public school, it must serve the larger community before pandering to the demands of a small, albeit loud, portion of the group. School is supposed to be a place of safety, not a place to have the moral fiber of one’s being challenged every day.”

  He continues talking, but I zone out. It’s just the same thing over and over again. Gay people are evil, and that evil will spread and take over the world if we don’t stop it right now. I wonder if people like him ever realize how stupid they sound. I can almost see him physically restraining himself from quoting the Bible. There is even less applause as he sits.

  Lily looks at Mrs. Bianco, who nods and urges her up. She walks hesitantly to the podium looking nervous and all the more adorable for it. She takes a deep breath and leans forward.

  “Hello, my name is Lily Wilson. I transferred to the school this year in hopes of finding a place where I could be myself without fear of harassment.” She looks up from her notes and I swear her eyes find mine. “Luckily, this school provided that. After years of abuse and bullying at my old school, I was stunned at the friends I immediately made who knew I was a lesbian and didn’t care. More than that, no one else in the school seemed to care. However, that isn’t true for every student here. One has been repeatedly targeted by Mr. Jones’s daughter.” Mr. Jones’s eyes dart to Carmen and I wonder if this is news to him, though I doubt it can be. “We planned this fund-raiser when our club was just a dozen kids, and we didn’t really expect much interest from the school at large. That changed after repeated attacks and harassment of our members. The student body has come forward, showing their support, and it is that very same support that I feel is at the root of this meeting. Mr. Jones hates the idea that these students are open-minded enough to accept something different from themselves. While he claims to be a man of God, he and his daughter are preaching only fear and hatred.”

  Mr. Jones shifts in his seat, scowling. I glance at Luke and we share a grin. Lily is nailing this.

  “He says a school must serve the larger portion of its community, but little of that community has come out in support for Mr. Jones’s cause. Could I see a show of hands from those here to support the Queer Alliance’s right to host this fund-raiser?”

  Lily puts a hand over her eyes and looks out into the audience. Hands shoot up all around me. I look around seeing Lily is right, the majority of the people in the room have raised their hands. I see the board members glancing around to look.

  “There are more students in the hallway as well,” Lily says. “By Mr. Jones’s own logic, the majority of the school is either actively supporting this fund-raiser or doesn’t find it a threat to their morals. The school is meant to protect its students, all of those students. The money we are aiming to raise will help not only queer students but also students of color, students who belong to a non-dominant religion, any student who is mistreated. We are promoting kindness and acceptance because hatred has no place in a school.” Lily takes a breath and makes eye contact with each of the board members. “I beg you, please allow our club to do what it can to help make our school and other schools safer, more accepting places. Thank you.”

  Applause fills the room and I’m trying to clap louder than anyone. If Mr. Jones thinks he has a chance, he’s a moron. A gentle murmur of conversation fills the room as the board members deliberate. It doesn’t take long. The same older man who started the meeting climbs back onstage.

  “After hearing both arguments and discussing it among ourselves, we’ve decided to allow the fund-raiser to continue.” The cheer that fills the room almost drowns out what he says next. “It is our opinion that the Queer Alliance is not in violation of board policy. Thank you, everyone, for coming.”

  I meet Lily at the bottom of the stairs, hugging her tightly as we both jump up and down in excitement.

  “You did amazing,” I say.<
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  We pull back and for a moment I think, this is it, we’re going to kiss. She licks her lips and I almost lean in, but then Luke, Gavin, and Maria are there whooping and hugging us. More kids from Queer Alliance crowd around and our moment is lost. Instead, we are swept away in everyone’s happiness.

  Chapter Thirty-nine

  “So.” I turn at the sound of Luke’s voice. He leans in my doorway wearing jeans and a Batman T-shirt. “The Queer Alliance fund-raiser is a go and you’ve ditched your crazy older woman. What are you going to do now?”

  I sigh, pushing my hair back from my face with one hand, holding my phone in the other. “I think I’m going to go meet the crazy older woman for coffee.” I hold out my phone to him so he can see the text.

  “What?” Luke crosses the room in two big steps to take my phone. His eyes slide quickly over the words before he holds up the phone. “This is crap. You get that, right? This is total crap.” He tosses the phone back at me and I barely catch it.

  “Hey.” I kick at him, but he dodges my slippered foot. “You could have broken it.”

  “Good. Break it. Throw it out the window and back over it with Mom’s car. Then I’ll get you a new phone and we’ll change the number if that’s what it takes to get this girl out of your life.”

  “Okay. First, wow. Dramatic much? Second, this town is way too small to ever really get someone out of your life.” I glance down at the text.

  Zia: Coffee? I want to talk things out. Come over if you want.

  Luke begins to pace in a small back and forth line. “So you go there, you talk, then what?”

  I shrug. “Then I come home and we’re cool.”

  “That might work if you weren’t head over heels for this girl. You’re going to end up making out with her and then we’re right back where we started and Lily is left feeling worse than before. Oh, and probably as a bonus, Maria will never let me hear the end of it. I can’t understand how you can be so selfish.”