Ivan and Jenny were Bethany’s younger brother and sister. The responsibility for raising them had fallen to her after the deaths of their mother and later their grandfather. It was Bethany’s grandfather who had founded the community of New Covenant. Bethany had been determined to raise the children on her own and continue his dream of a new Amish settlement far from the tourists in Pennsylvania. Then Michael Shetler arrived to take over her grandfather’s business. It wasn’t long before Bethany and Michael fell in love and were married. Now they were expecting their first child. Bethany was Gemma’s dearest friend. She knew she would find comfort and compassion there.
Gemma knocked on her door a short time later. Bethany opened the door wide, grinning from ear to ear. “I was hoping you would come early. Michael left a few minutes ago to see about fixing a clock at someone’s home.” Bethany grabbed Gemma and gave her a hug. “Promise me you are back for good. I’ve missed you so much. Tell me everything you have been doing.”
“I will tell you everything, but it is not what you expect. Do you have some coffee made? This is going to take a while.”
“I have coffee and rolls waiting for you inside. We are holding Sunday services here for the first time. I hope you can give me a hand getting ready. There is so much to do.”
It was wonderful to feel welcomed and needed. “Of course I will.”
Coffee cups in hand, the two women sat at the table in Bethany’s homey kitchen and Gemma laid out the whole sad story of her time in Florida and the trip home. She told her friend everything, including her father’s plan to find her a husband.
“My life keeps getting more complicated, Bethany. What should I do?” She waited for Bethany’s advice.
Bethany slowly shook her head as she stirred a spoon of sugar into her coffee and started pulling apart a cinnamon bread stick. “Gemma, I can’t tell you what to do. I wish I could.”
“What good is a friend who won’t advise me?” Gemma sipped a cup of strong coffee and prayed it would stay down.
“A real friend helps you see your choices. They don’t make those choices for you.”
“You sound like Jesse.” She took a bite of a saltine cracker.
“My heart bleeds for the position you are in. You know that, don’t you? I love the child I carry more each day. I look forward to the birth of my baby as a wondrous event. That you are unable to share the same joy I feel breaks my heart. A baby is a great gift from God.”
Gemma reached across the table to lay a hand on Bethany’s arm. “I’m happy for you. Please believe that. You deserve the joy a baby will bring you and Michael.”
“You deserve that joy too.”
“I’m afraid I may find sorrow instead of happiness.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t want this child in the beginning. I didn’t want to be pregnant. But I want it now. I do. I want to hold and love my baby, but I’m afraid. What if Gott takes my babe back to heaven?”
Bethany leaned across the table and took Gemma’s hands in hers. “Every mother has that fear, but to worry is to doubt Gott’s mercy. He will help you bear whatever comes into your life if you open your heart to His love.”
Gemma squeezed Bethany’s hands. “I know. I’m trying to have faith.”
“Have you spoken to the bishop?”
“Not yet.”
Bethany smiled gently. “You will be forgiven. You know that, don’t you?”
“People forgive, but they don’t forget.” Gemma shivered inwardly.
“They will in time.”
“I have shamed my parents. I can never forget that. I know my father won’t. He can barely stand to look at me. I believe it may be best for me to go away.”
“A new baby can warm the coldest heart. You’ll see.”
“Oh, Bethany, I pray you are right.”
Chapter Ten
There were two buggies parked in front of the house when Gemma returned home. She recognized both. One belonged to the bishop. The other one was her father’s. He was home from work early.
Her parents weren’t wasting any time. She drew a deep breath and went in to face them.
They were all seated in the living room. There was a platter of cookies on the end table. They all had cups of coffee in their hands. The bishop wore a stern expression she had never seen before. His wife, Myra, sat beside him with a kindly smile for Gemma. Her parents sat with bowed heads.
She lowered her eyes. “Good morning, Bishop. I trust you are well?”
“I’m in good health, but I am greatly distressed over the reason for my visit today.”
“I’m very sorry for the pain I’ve caused my family and you.”
“I believe you, child. Come in and sit down.”
Gemma took the only seat left to her, the one directly facing the bishop. “Would you care for some coffee?” her mother asked.
Gemma shook her head. “I had coffee with Bethany this morning.”
“I’m glad you have a friend you can confide in,” the bishop said. Gemma wondered how he knew she had told Bethany about her pregnancy.
Her father cleared his throat. “I asked the bishop to hear your confession.”
This wasn’t what she had been expecting. “I thought only minor offenses were handled in private confessions. I assumed I would have to make a public confession in front of all our baptized members at a sitz gma.” The sitting church was a special meeting held after the Sunday worship was over where only baptized members of the congregation participated. A punishment was chosen if all members agreed. Gemma was prepared to be shunned for a month or more before being accepted back into the church.
Bishop Shultz nodded once. “That is normally the case. While you have committed a grave offense, it is not a matter that has drawn the attention of the whole congregation, and therefore I don’t feel it needs to be resolved publicly at a member’s meeting. It is your father’s understanding that you have repented and wish to once again join our fellowship.”
“That is true. I do repent.”
“Then begin.”
She clasped her hands together and lowered her gaze. She had learned the words of confession in her baptismal classes several years ago but never thought back then that she would have to actually utter the words. “I confess that I failed to uphold my vow. I want to make peace with God and the church, and I promise to do better in the future.”
“Come forward and accept the kiss of peace.” His wife came to stand beside him as he beckoned to Gemma.
She stood and walked forward. Myra laid her hands on Gemma’s shoulders and kissed her on each cheek. “Welcome once again into the house of the faithful.”
A second later, she was embraced by her mother. Her father walked away without a word.
Gemma couldn’t believe it was over so quickly.
The bishop glanced from her father’s retreating figure to Gemma. “Remember that we are only human and none of us are without blemish. Your father wishes for you to take a husband. I agree it is best for a child to have both a mother and a father to nurture and guide him or her.”
She thought of Jesse and his story about his unhappy childhood. Would she subject her child to the same unhappiness by staying single? What was the right thing to do? She sighed. “What man wants to marry a wife who doesn’t love him? How can that be a loving home?”
The bishop smiled gently. “My grandmother had an illegitimate child and married my grandfather a year later. She told me she barely knew him before their wedding day, but she had faith in her father’s choice and faith in Gott. I remember them as a happy couple who loved all eight of their children and all twenty-five of their grandchildren. Sometimes we must take things on faith.”
Gemma’s mother remained with her as her father returned to walk the bishop and his wife out.
“Do you feel better?” her mother as
ked as she took a seat in the chair.
All was forgiven. It was something Gemma had heard her entire life, but it was the first time she had experienced it. Her spirits rose. “I do feel better, but I wish Daed could forgive me.”
“He has.”
“I’m not so sure. He’s barely spoken to me.”
“He loves you, but he is struggling to see the path Gott wants him to take. Give him some time. Michael and Bethany are hosting the Sunday service. I’m sure Bethany could use an extra hand getting things ready.”
“I have already told her that I’ll help,” Gemma answered softly.
“We’ll go over together first thing tomorrow.” Her mother looked as if she wanted to say more but left the room with only a backward glance.
Gemma sank onto the sofa. The two things she had been dreading the most had come and gone. All the energy she had spent worrying about telling her parents and telling the bishop left her feeling limp. She was forgiven. She would try hard to become a demure and humble person worthy of the forgiveness that had been shown her.
* * *
Getting ready to host church services meant deep cleaning for the home owner inside and out. No room or nook was spared. Because of the large amount of work involved, each family was expected to host the bimonthly meeting only once a year if the congregation was large enough.
Gemma and her mother were getting out of their buggy at Bethany’s just as Gemma’s cousin Anna Miller arrived in a pony cart. Gemma and Anna had been friends from the cradle and quickly greeted each other with a hug. “Say you are home for good, cousin. It wasn’t as much fun without you.”
Gemma drew back, suddenly worried how Anna would receive her news. “I have something I must tell you.”
Anna squeezed Gemma’s hand. “I already know. Bethany told me. I hope you don’t mind. I knew something was troubling her and I pressured her until she confided in me. A sin that is forgiven should not be mentioned again and we will not.” She laid a hand on Gemma’s stomach. “Another baby is coming into the world, and that is a reason for joy.”
“Danki. I never expected people to be so accepting. I’m humbled by it.”
“Not everyone will be. There are some people who will condemn privately before they forgive publicly. Just remember, you have family and friends to support you.”
“Friends, but not all of my family. My father isn’t speaking to me. He wants me to marry. He’s willing to offer his farm as an incentive if it will bring someone willing to wed me.”
“His farm? He can’t be serious?” Anna looked outraged.
“He won’t give it up while he’s alive, but he’ll leave it to my husband in his will.”
“Your father will come around. There is much work to do. Let’s get started.”
Inside the house, the women gathered around the kitchen table, each one setting her basket on it. Gemma opened the lid of the one she carried and began to pull out its contents. “I brought a few things.” She produced cleaning supplies, plastic pails, pine cleaner, rags, sponges and brushes.
“Where shall we start?” Anna asked.
Her mother picked up the pail and carried it to the sink. “I will finish these windows. Where is Jenny?”
“In school,” Bethany said. “She’ll be home about four.” Bethany’s sister was ten years old and always a willing helper.
“I’ll get this food put away.” Anna opened her basket and brought out two loaves of bread and a cherry pie with a gorgeous golden lattice crust. Gemma felt her stomach rumble. Her morning sickness had subsided and her appetite seemed to be making up for lost time.
Next, Anna began unpacking china and flatware that would be needed to feed all fifty church members, along with four coffee cakes. “One for later when we need an energy boost and three for the church meal so you don’t have to bake tonight.”
Bethany was clearly overwhelmed by her kindness. “Danki. This is far too much.”
“No thanks are needed. You will do the same when it is my turn to host the service,” Anna assured her.
“I will,” Bethany agreed.
“What do you need me to do?” Gemma asked, looking over the kitchen.
Bethany took a second to gather her thoughts. “Anna, if you want to start in the living room that would be great. Gemma, perhaps you could help me drag the mattresses outside so I can beat the dust out of them.”
Gemma’s mother shook her head. “None of you pregnant girls are going to be struggling with heavy mattresses. Leroy and Jesse will be here after work. They will do the heavy lifting.”
Gemma couldn’t help the little jolt of happiness that shot through her when she realized she was going to see Jesse again today. She thought she would have to wait until Sunday.
The house quickly became a beehive of activity. Walls, floors and appliances were scrubbed until they shone. Windows sparkled and window curtains were washed. Everywhere inside the house, the sharp scent of pine cleaner filled the air.
Bethany stopped beside Gemma, who was polishing the hall table. “Can you believe it? In one morning, these women managed to do more inside the house than I could have accomplished in four days on my own.”
“Many hands make light work.” A sharp pain in her abdomen made Gemma grimace and bend over. She waited for it to come again, but it didn’t. It was a reminder that her pregnancy wasn’t going to be a normal one. “Be good, little one. Don’t scare me like that.”
“Are you okay?” Bethany asked.
Gemma managed a little smile. “I’m fine.”
Bethany pointed to the couch. “Sit and take it easy.”
“Only if you do.”
Bethany plopped down and patted the cushion. “This is me resting. Now, you.”
Gemma joined her for ten minutes and then both of them got back to work.
One of Michael’s heirloom clocks on the mantel was striking four o’clock when all the women gathered in the kitchen once more. Bethany wiped her forehead with the back of her sleeve. “I don’t know about you, but I’ve worked up an appetite. I believe I will sample the cherry pie. Would anyone else care for a piece?” The coffee cake had vanished before noon.
Mamm smiled brightly. “I thought you’d never ask.”
“I’ll get the plates?” Gemma was already moving toward the cabinets.
Bethany turned to Anna. “Would you like some?”
“Are you joking? I could eat the whole thing.”
Mamm chuckled. “That’s because you are eating for two.”
Bethany and Anna shared a grin as Anna said, “That’s what I keep telling my husband when he makes faces at my overflowing plate.”
“Me too,” Bethany said and giggled.
Gemma endured a stab of wistful envy. They had loving husbands to share their journeys into parenthood. She would travel that path alone unless she agreed to her father’s plan. Was God leading her in that direction?
Marrying would allow her to keep her baby and remain near her parents and her friends. Agreeing to wed would lessen her father’s displeasure. Would it be worth the trade-off? It was difficult to know what was best. The babe wasn’t to blame but he or she would be a constant reminder of Gemma’s fall from grace. For both Gemma and the man who wedded her.
Bethany and Anna were so happy about their pregnancies. Gemma wanted to feel that excitement, but she was afraid she never would.
* * *
Jesse stepped into Michael’s house and heard the chatter of women pouring out of the kitchen. Jesse was happy to see Gemma in the midst of them. It appeared that she was fitting back into the community. Her friends had rallied around her. He was happy for her. There would be people who avoided her or spoke unkindly, but that would pass with time. Then he noticed she was standing a little apart from the group with her eyes downcast. There was something in her demeanor that seemed wrong.
She caught sight of him and smiled. His heart gave a happy leap. He had missed her companionship since returning to New Covenant. Finding time alone with her might not be easy but he was willing to try. Had she missed him? The hope that she had died a quick death.
Why should she? She was back among friends and family.
When they had been alone together in the wilderness, it was clear that she needed him. He knew what to do. How to take care of her. He knew how to find food and make a snug shelter. She didn’t need any of that now.
He jumped when Michael patted him on the shoulder. “Hey, big guy. You’re one for keeping secrets.”
Jesse frowned. Did Michael know about Gemma’s pregnancy? “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I see you making eyes at Gemma Lapp.”
“I wasn’t making eyes at her.”
“Looked that way to me. You used to say she was annoying.”
Jesse smiled. “She still can be.”
“So, what is the story?”
“We are friends, nothing more.”
“Friends?” Michael’s eyebrows shot up.
Jesse scowled at him. “Is there something wrong with being Gemma’s friend?”
Michael held up both hands. “Nee, not at all. I see my wife wants me.” Jesse thought he heard Michael chuckle under his breath as he walked away.
“What are you mad about?” Gemma asked as she crossed the room.
“Michael was giving me a hard time.”
“About what?”
“It’s not important. What can I do to help?”
“You can help me hang the curtains up. You won’t need a step stool.”
“Lead on.”
Gemma threaded the curtain rods through the pockets of the pale blue sheers and then gave them to Jesse. “How have you been?”
He hung them with ease. “Fine.”
She chuckled. “I thought we weren’t to use the word fine.”
“You can’t. I can.”
“How is that fair?”
“I’ll think of a reason in a minute.”
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