Shaking her head, she handed him the next set of curtains. “I’ve missed you, Jesse.”
He paused with the rod in his hands. “You have?”
“Is that so surprising?”
“Ja, it is.”
“I just feel like I can be myself with you.”
He hung the curtain and they moved to the next window in the living room. Everyone else was in the kitchen. “Who are you being the rest of the time?”
“The disappointing daughter. The confused mother-bride-to-be. The waffling woman.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and gave her a stern look. “Aren’t you being hard on yourself? You have some difficult decisions to make.”
“The bishop agrees that I should marry for the baby’s sake.”
“But you don’t think so.”
She gazed at him intently. “What do you wish your mother had done?”
“I wish she had found happiness in life instead of hiding from it.”
Gemma laid a hand on his arm. “I wish I could have known you as a boy. I would have been your friend.”
“That you are my friend now is enough.” He turned back to the window, afraid to say more. He had grown to care for her more than he’d realized.
She handed him another rod. “Last one.”
He hung it up. “Now what?”
She dusted her hands together. “Now we wait to see how things go on Sunday.”
“Are you ready to face everyone?”
“Absolutely...not.”
He tapped her nose with one finger. “You will be fine. If you are done with me, your father said he wants to talk to me about that property.”
She smiled brightly. “He must be going to sell it to you. That would be—”
“Fine,” he answered with a smile to match hers, and they both laughed.
Jesse left Michael’s home with a bounce in his step. He had a feeling that Gemma was right and her father was going to sell him the land. He wouldn’t overpay for it. He hoped Leroy would ask a fair price.
When he reached the Lapp place, he saw Leroy putting shoes on one of his buggy horses by the barn. His pair of dapple-gray draft horses looked on over the corral fence. Jesse walked up beside Leroy and waited until he had finished driving in the last nail.
He put the horse’s foot down and straightened. “Thanks for coming by, Jesse.”
“Can I give you a hand?”
“Nope, this is the last shoe. I wanted to speak to you about that property you are interested in.”
“I’m willing to pay you a fair price.”
“How does free and clear sound?”
Puzzled, Jesse shook his head. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“The property is my gift to you if you will marry Gemma.”
Jesse’s hands curled into tight fists but he managed to keep his voice calm. “That is a surprising offer but I’m going to refuse.”
Leroy lifted his hat and raked his fingers through his hair. “Gemma has given you a disgust of her. I feared as much.”
Jesse scowled at the man he called a friend. “It is not Gemma I’m disgusted with, Leroy Lapp. Your daughter is worth far more than eighty acres of farmland. If you can’t see that, then I pray Gott opens your eyes to the treasure you are so willing to cast aside. Does the love and respect of your child mean nothing to you? Or is it that the respect of others means more?”
Leroy stood staring at Jesse with his mouth open. Jesse spun on his heel and walked away before he said things he would regret, hoping Gemma never learned of this conversation.
* * *
Sunday came much too quickly for Gemma’s liking. News of her condition and confession had spread. She knew by the way her mother had returned tight-lipped from her quilting circle and by the way her parents spoke in hushed tones when they thought she might be listening. From what she was able to gather, there was a disagreement in the community about how her case had been handled.
She arrived early at Bethany and Michael’s home because she needed to keep busy. It had snowed again during the night, and the world sparkled under a fresh blanket of white. She worked in the kitchen getting pies cut and bread sliced as the families arrived one by one. Many of the people she knew greeted her openly and she began to relax. It wasn’t until the new families arrived that she was ignored when they brought their baskets of food in before the meeting started. She saw the unease on her mother’s face and wished she knew how to smooth things over.
Out the kitchen window, she watched the men unloading the bench wagon and carrying the backless wooden benches into the living room for when the service would be held. Jesse was among them. He was easy to pick out from the men dressed alike in dark pants, coats and hats. He stood a head taller than everyone. Just the sight of him brought her comfort. She would have a chance to spend some time with him after the meal had been served. She kept that thought at the forefront of her mind.
When the benches were set up on both sides of a center aisle, the women dried their hands and tidied their aprons before they filed in to take their places on one side of the room. Many of the men were already seated.
Gemma had to take her place among the unmarried women while her mother and her friends sat in the front rows. She was relieved when Jenny squeezed in beside her.
Jenny grasped Gemma’s hand. “I’m so happy you are home. I missed you.”
Gemma squeezed the girl’s fingers. “I missed you too,” she whispered.
Her father, Bishop Shultz and Samuel Yoder came into the room and hung their hats on pegs by the door. The three men had been discussing the preaching that would be done that morning. None of them had any formal training in the ministry. They had been chosen by lot to bring God’s word to the congregation. It was a lifelong appointment without pay or benefits of any kind. They spoke from the heart without notes or prepared sermons. It was a responsibility every baptized Amish man agreed to accept should he be chosen.
The preaching lasted for three and a half hours. Each man took his turn reading passages from the German Bible and explaining what those words meant to the congregation. Their theme was about forgiveness and the prodigal son. Gemma couldn’t help but feel they were speaking about her. She laid a hand over her stomach. She also had to forgive in order to find peace. She let go of her bitterness against Robert.
After the service was over, Gemma headed to the kitchen again to help serve the meal. Her friends were already getting things set up. No one needed directions. Everyone simply pitched in and began working. Gemma saw they were running low on clean glasses. She opened the cabinet door above her to pull out another stack when two women bringing in the dirty dishes walked past her.
“It’s astounding that the minister’s daughter didn’t have to make a public confession.”
“It certainly doesn’t seem appropriate to me.”
Gemma closed the cabinet door. There was a sharp intake of breath, but she didn’t see which woman made the sound. Her eyes were pinned to the floor as her face grew hot with shame.
“Would you have forgiven her?” Bethany asked in a tight voice.
Gemma glanced up. A woman in her midfifties stood holding a stack of dirty plates. Behind her, a younger woman Gemma thought must be her daughter stood with her arms crossed over her chest.
“Of course,” the older woman said. “After a suitable period of shunning. That is how the bishop from our previous congregation would have handled it.”
“A suitable period?” Gemma heard the anger in Bethany’s voice and cringed.
“Five or six weeks.”
“Then I’m thankful our bishop has a more forgiving nature.” They all turned to see Jesse filling the doorway with a fierce scowl on his face. The women gaped as he moved to stand beside Gemma. He slipped an arm around her shoulder. She wanted to sink into him and hide
her face, but she willed herself to remain still.
“I heard how you claim to have been lost in the wilderness together. What a cozy story,” the young woman said with sweet sarcasm. “Perhaps the babe is yours.”
Gemma gasped, ready to refute the statement, but Jesse spoke first. “The child is not mine by blood but should Gemma agree to marry me, the babe will become my son or my daughter and will be cherished in my home and in my heart for all my life. Of that you can be certain.”
Gemma was too stunned to speak.
Bethany took a step toward the women with a frozen smile on her face. “I will certainly mention your criticism of Bishop Shultz’s decision to him. What was your last bishop’s feelings about people who disparaged him behind his back?”
The two women turned on their heels and left the kitchen without another word, taking the dirty dishes with them. Gemma shook her head sadly. “Bethany, you shouldn’t defend me.”
“Accept it and rejoice. Besides, I was defending Bishop Schultz, not you.”
“Who are they?” Jesse asked.
Gemma looked through the doorway into the living room, where the women were collecting their children.
“Newcomers. Agnes Martin and her daughter, Penelope.” Bethany waved one hand. “Pay them no mind. If their last congregation was so wonderful, why did they move here? And now I am being judgmental and unkind. I will go apologize as soon as I’m finished cleaning up.”
“I think they are leaving,” Gemma told her, unable to look at Jesse yet. Why had he implied she might marry him?
Bethany smiled. “What a shame. My apology will have to wait, won’t it?”
Jesse turned to Gemma. “I’m going to take the bench wagon to your father’s place. He said your mother has a headache and he is taking her home. I told him I’d see that you got home too. Would you care to ride along with me? We have a lot to discuss.”
“We do. Danki, Jesse. I will be out in a few minutes.”
He nodded and walked away.
Bethany sank back against the counter. “If you don’t marry that man, you are a bigger fool than I can imagine. The way he spoke of your baby becoming his—it almost melted my heart. I could hear how much he wants to be a father. I never would have guessed that about Jesse. He would be a good father and a fine husband to you.”
“He is a man with many layers, but I’m not going to marry him.” She put on her coat and went out to meet him.
Chapter Eleven
Jesse stood beside the wagon, waiting for Gemma to come out. What was she thinking? Had she been appalled by his confrontation with the two women? He was a bit ashamed of letting his temper out, but he didn’t like watching somebody be bullied without speaking up. Especially Gemma.
The door opened, and she came out. He silently helped her into the wagon seat and climbed up beside her. He picked up the reins and headed the team toward Gemma’s home. After several long minutes of silence, he couldn’t stand it anymore. “I reckon I should explain myself.”
“You don’t need to.”
He glanced at her. “Why do you say that?”
“Because you spoke to defend me, and I thank you for that. I know you weren’t serious about marrying me.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Do you still think about him?”
“Who?”
“The father of your child.”
“Robert? Actually, I haven’t thought about him much at all this week except to realize I must forgive him.”
Jesse smiled to himself. “That’s a good thing.” He clicked his tongue to get the horses moving faster. “Have you given any thought to my proposal?”
“Why should I?”
“What would you say if I told you I was serious?”
She frowned. “Is this some kind of joke?”
“Nope.”
Her eyes widened. “Are you out of your mind?”
“You proposed to me once, and I’m saying yes now.”
She shook her head as if to clear it. “That’s ridiculous. You can’t be serious, Jesse. Stop teasing. It isn’t funny anymore.”
He turned the team into the lane that led to her house and drew them to a stop by the front gate. He got down and helped her off the wagon. He stood with his hands resting lightly on her shoulders. “I am serious, Gemma. I wish to marry you.”
“Why?”
He smiled at her bluntness. “I like you. You need a husband and your babe will need a father. I know you don’t love me. That doesn’t matter. We get along quite well. I’m offering you a marriage in name only.”
“What about more children?”
“One is enough for me. My farm isn’t large. I don’t have much to offer now, but I will take care of you. You’ll never be hungry in my house.”
“I don’t know what to say?”
“I believe yes and no are the most often used replies.”
“I need to think about this.”
“Of course.”
Gemma walked before him into the house. Her parents were in the living room. Gemma went and sat in a chair in the corner of the room with her head down and her hands clasped together in her lap. Her mother, Dinah, watched Jesse closely.
He rubbed his suddenly damp hands on his pants. What would her father think of his change of heart? It wasn’t because of the land. Jesse would have to make sure Leroy understood that. He was doing it because Gemma needed him. “Leroy, I wish to marry your daughter. I am hoping you will see the benefits and encourage her to accept me.”
Gemma clutched her fingers together tightly. “Oh, Jesse, don’t do this.”
Leroy stroked his beard. “You are a generous, hardworking man. I could not ask for a better son-in-law, but after what you said yesterday, you can see why I’m surprised to hear this. Have you changed your mind?”
“I have not. Our conversation yesterday has nothing to do with my decision today.”
Gemma looked from one to the other. “What are the two of you talking about? What conversation?”
Jesse smiled at her. “It’s not important. What is important is your answer.”
Her father stared hard at Jesse. “Why do you wish to marry Gemma?”
“He is doing it because he feels sorry for me,” Gemma said quickly. “I will be fine, Jesse. You don’t need to take care of me anymore.”
Her father frowned at her. “I must ask you again, Jesse. Why offer for my daughter’s hand, knowing she carries another man’s child?”
“I’ve decided I’m ready to settle down. I’ve never found a woman who suits me. I believe Gemma and I will get along well once the scandal blows over.”
“He doesn’t love me, Daed,” Gemma interjected. She fell silent beneath her father’s glare.
“Love grows from respect,” he said before turning back to Jesse.
Jesse’s chance to wed Gemma did not hinge on what her father had to say. She had a choice. He didn’t want her to feel pressured into marrying him. He wanted her to agree that this was best for her and the baby.
Her father turned to her mother. “Mudder, what is your feeling about this?”
“If she marries Jesse, I will see my grandchild as often as I want, but that is not a reason to wed. You must believe that God has chosen you for each other.”
“That’s why I can’t marry you, Jesse. He didn’t choose us for each other.”
“I disagree. May I speak with Gemma in private?” Jesse looked from her mother to her father.
Her father nodded and beckoned to his wife. “Listen closely to him, Gemma. Jesse has a goot head on his shoulders. You have brought shame to this family. Your mother and I forgive you, but what you decide will ultimately affect us too. Do you understand that?”
She nodded.
Her parents left t
he room together. She held her hands wide. “I know you don’t love me.”
He pulled another chair over until he sat in front of her. He took her hands in his. “Love isn’t necessary to have a good marriage. I care about you, Gemma. We are friends, remember? Why did God put us together in the wilderness if not to learn about each other and grow in our affections? You care about me, I know you do.”
“And that’s why I can see that you are making a mistake. There will still be talk. People will know you aren’t the father.”
“That’s true, but the talk will die down in time and people will forget.”
“Maybe they will, but can you forget he or she isn’t your flesh and blood? Can you expect me to forget that?”
“In time, I hope we both look at the babe and see only the child of our hearts.”
“I don’t love you.”
He flinched at the pain of her words. “I know, but we like each other, right? I won’t expect what you can’t give me. It will be a marriage in name only for the sake of your baby. Our baby.”
She stood up suddenly. “I need some time. I can’t make a decision today.”
She rushed past Jesse and up the stairs, limping heavily. He heard her bedroom door slam.
Leroy and Dinah came back into the living room. “Well?” Leroy asked. He looked worn down and sad as did Dinah. Gemma’s condition had inflicted a toll on her parents. Their disappointment had to be deep and soul shaking.
“She wants some time to think it over.”
Her mother stared into Jesse’s eyes. “I believe she will make the right decision. She is our only child and perhaps we have spoiled her because of that, but she has a good heart. If she rejects you at first, be prepared to be patient with her. Can you do that?”
He glanced up the stairs. “Ja, I can be patient. Tell her to come see me when she has an answer.”
“My offer of the property still stands if she agrees,” Leroy said.
His wife scowled at him. “I can’t believe how foolish you are. Can’t you see Jesse has her best interest at heart and not his own?”
Jesse smiled at her and nodded. “My answer is still the same. Keep your land. I will only wed Gemma if she wants to.”
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