by Chrissy J
“Set a day and I’ll make sure I clear my schedule so I can meet this lil nigga that’s got my daughter turning more into a young woman then I want her to. Your mother told me he be coming to check you,” he laughed. My phone started ringing. I looked at it and saw it was Kevin. He would have to wait cause I was with my daddy. I wasn’t going to answer anyway; he and I were on the outs over Gina still.
“Stop Daddy, you’re making me blush over here, but I’m going to call him and see when he’s free,” I told him as we finished our food. My father paid for our meal and Hershey’s that I ordered to go and then we got back inside his car. I loved hanging out with my father; there was nothing I couldn’t tell him. The only thing I couldn’t talk and tell him about was my pregnancy. He asked where he was dropping me off. Trying to be funny, he laughed while pulling off. I looked at him smiling. “At Hershey’s house. Daddy stop playing like you didn’t know I was going over to my sister’s house,” I said hitting his arm. He drove to Hershey’s block, double-parked, and got out to get all of the bags with Hershey’s stuff. Eddie called me as my father was taking the bags out the car. I told Eddie my father wanted to meet him, he laughed on the other end of the phone causing me to smile. Laughing I told him how my nosy mom told my father I be hanging out with him.
“Alright Ma, let me know the time and date. What are you doing?” he asked. I saw Hershey coming out of the building. “I’m about to go inside Hershey’s house, I was shopping with my father,” I responded. He said to hit him up when I got home. We hung up the phone and I looked at Hershey; she had on some blue sweat pants, a Tweety Bird shirt, and her hair was wrapped in a scarf. “You should have stayed in the damn house looking like that,” I joked. She gave me the finger while grabbing the bags and hugged my father after saying hi and thank you.
“Sup Hershey Ann? Alright Princess you straight?” my father asked.
“Yea I’m straight Daddy, love you,” I said hugging him
“Love you too Princess,” he said kissing my forehead. He got back in the car and drove off. Walking in Hershey’s building and up those three flight of stairs nearly killed me. The baby was on my bladder and it felt like his foot was in my damn spine. We finally got to Hershey’s apartment she shared with her older sister Sandy and her two brother’s Barkeem and Shakeem. I was out of breath and ready to sit down and drink something cold; Hershey laughed at me calling me fat. Hershey was happier then I was that I was pregnant and making her an auntie. She was worse than Kevin with the shopping, and she already picked out boy names. Kevin and I both knew we couldn’t name the baby after him. He was hurt but he understood where I was coming from. I walked into Hershey’s room and laid on her bed while she put the bags down and ran to the kitchen to pour me some juice. I closed my eyes while I rubbed my belly and my prince kicked my hand causing me to giggle. I loved my prince and couldn’t wait to hold him and see his face. Hershey walked back in the room with a cold glass of ice tea.
“Thanks boo,” I said taking the glass from her and taking a sip. Hershey sat on the bed and pulled out a back wood so she could roll her up a blunt. Once she was done, she lit it and took a deep pull looking at me while she blew smoke in my face. She knew I was dying to smoke a blunt and that was her way of teasing me.
“So when you going to tell your pops you prego?” Hershey asked me rubbing my stomach. The baby kicked her hand making her laugh and rub my stomach some more, only making the lil boy go even more crazy inside me. I laughed telling her he did not like her. I really didn’t know how to tell my father I was carrying a baby inside of me and I couldn’t just tell him the baby’s father was Kevin. Shaking my head, I felt the tears well up in my eyes. Hershey put the blunt down and rubbed my back telling me not to cry.
“Don’t start that crying shit chica, we’re going to find a way to tell him don’t worry,” she said wiping the tears that fell from my eyes. “That’s why I love you, you always have my back, and no matter what I do I know you’re in my corner,” I said sitting up and hugging her. “I love you too hoe. I know you have my back and front. And my God baby love his second mommy,” she said kissing my belly. The baby kicked again and we both laughed. I gave her the bags with her stuff inside and her food. She thanked me telling me I always hooked her up. She turned to face me and the look on her face was serious. She said she had something to say on how to tell my father about the baby. I nodded so she could continue. “I think you should tell him you were raped in Brooklyn and this is what happened,” she said pointing at my belly. Listening to her idea, I thought it was good. The question was would it work or would my father and family believe it. Hershey knew my father would kill everybody in Brooklyn, but her idea was good. I could tell him almost anything. He’d understand, I’d just tell him I was ashamed and embarrassed to come and tell anybody.
“Yea that’s all, Kevin can still be there for the baby and you, but that nigga better act normal when he’s around your father and uncle cause they will kill his ass,” she laughed looking at the stuff. I knew my father would kill anybody that he thought harmed me or would try to harm me but that’s life and he’d deal with it. Hershey was too busy looking at all the stuff that I picked out for her. Hearing my cell phone ringing I sat up in the bed and took it out my Michael Kors bag. Looking at the caller ID I saw it was Kevin calling again, hitting talk Kevin didn’t give me a chance to say hello before he went in with the questions.
“Yo where you at? And why you ain’t pick up your fucking phone,” he barked into the phone.
“Calm down, I was with my father all day, and now I’m with Hershey. I’m on my way to the crib in five minutes,” I said.
“Don’t do that shit again Diva! You had me thinking something happened to you and my son,” Kevin’s voice softened. A smile came on my face instantly.
“I won’t babe.” I asked him if something was wrong while standing up from the bed. He informed me that Gina had the baby the day before and he took the DNA test to prove if he fathered her child or not. I wasn’t in the mood to hear about the chances of Gina’s baby being his.
“OK so why you had to call me twenty times to tell me that?” I asked getting pissed off. I really didn’t give two flying fucks about Gina or her baby; he got pissed off by my comment because he started rushing me off the phone. He asked me if I was still coming to his house so he could rub his belly. He was pissed; I could hear it in his voice. Hershey rolled her eyes my way; she was at her wits end with the Kevin and Gina bullshit. She didn’t say too much about the situation; all she wanted was for me to be happy and she didn’t want to see me get hurt. I told Kevin I was coming over when I was finished talking to Hershey, and then hung up the phone. “What he was talking about?” Hershey asked.
“He called to tell me Gina had the baby and they are waiting for the DNA test to come back. Hersh, I’m out,” I said walking to her room door. I saw Hershey shake her head. Tima and Hershey had been waiting for her to drop the baby so they could rag tag that ass for stepping to me on 125th street. “Alright I’ll walk you downstairs, I need some pads from the store,” she said laughing. We walked past her fine ass brother Barkeem. He was in the kitchen cutting up some coke. He looked up at us licking his lips at me making me giggle.
“I wish y’all motherfuckers would stay in your room with that shit,” Hershey yelled walking to the door.
“Hershey shut up, Diva knows what this it,” he barked winking at me.
We walked out of her building and were headed to the store when a group of guys walked up to us. I noticed they weren’t from Harlem from the way they were dressed and their swag. You could always tell when somebody wasn’t from your hood or boroughs. When the biggest dude out of the bunch asked which one of us was Diva, I knew for sure they weren’t from around those parts. They kept walking towards us, both Hershey and I turned around to be face to face with a big black nigga that looked like Biggie Smalls, we looked him up and down.
“I’m Diva,” I said looking at him. Before Hershey and
I realized what was happening, the guy pulled out a gun and shot me in my stomach.
Chapter 8
I woke up three days later in the hospital; my parent’s was sitting near my bed. My father looked like he hadn’t gotten any kind of sleep, my uncle Mike looked like a mad man. I called out to my father; my mouth was dry like I had swallowed sand. He jumped up from the chair and grabbed my hand.
“Princess don’t talk, Meek get her some water. Mike go get the doctor,” my father ordered them. My mother grabbed the pitcher and filled a cup with water while my uncle walked out the door. I turn and saw Hershey in the corner crying.
“Oh my god Cinnamon I thought we lost you,” my mother cried giving me the water. I shook my head and looked confused for a minute. I drank the water and it felt good going down my throat, I finally asked what happened. Hershey walked over to the bed wiping her face; her eyes were bloodshot red.
“Bitch don’t ever do that shit again, I almost lost my mind,” she cried hugging me. Everybody looked down. My father helped me up in the bed; my body was sore and my stomach hurt like hell. That’s when I felt the emptiness in my stomach. I grabbed my stomach looking at everybody in the room, the only person who was missing was the one person I wanted to see, and he wasn’t there to comfort me
“Hershey what the fuck happened and where’s my baby?” I yelled trying to get off the bed. My father and mother held me down while Hershey stood there shaking and crying. She couldn’t talk or move, she just shook her head as the tears kept rolling down her face. I felt it in my heart. My son, my lil prince, was gone. “Princess clam down before you bust your stitches,” my father said lying down on the bed with me in his arms. I looked in his eyes and saw them tear up; I could feel the pain he was feeling. I didn’t want him to find out about the baby that way, but shit happens that none of us has control over.
“How are you feeling Ms. Woods?” My doctor from the clinic asked walking inside the room followed by Mike and the nurse. My father helped me sit up once again then he stood up.
“Doc I feel like shit, so can you tell me what’s going on and if my baby alright?” I asked feeling my eyes getting watery looking at everybody. My father grabbed one of my hands while my mother took my other hand. Mary was standing near my father rubbing his back.
“I’m sorry to inform you that your son did not make it. We stopped the internal bleeding in your stomach, but due to the gunshot and the fact that he was born at 25 weeks, we couldn’t do anything but make sure he didn’t suffer,” Dr. Green told me. I asked with a whisper where my son was as the tears rolled down my face freely. Doctor Green told me my father signed for the baby’s body to be released to the funeral home the day before. He told me again that he was sorry before walking out of the room with the nurse. I don’t know where the cry came from but I knew from the looks on everybody face they felt it in their soul. I cried as my father rocked me back in forth in his arms. “It’s ok DJ,” my mother said wrapping her arms around both my father and me. Hershey had seen enough and she walked out the room with Uncle Mike holding her up. Mary just stood to the side crying. I cried myself back to sleep. When I woke back up my father was the only one in the room. I guessed everybody else had gone home to rest. I knew Hershey was going to come right back; Kevin still hadn’t brought his ass to the hospital. I was feeling some type of way about that; there I was laid up in the hospital for the second time with a gunshot wound. I didn’t know who sent the dudes to come shoot me; shit I still was wondering how they knew I was at Hershey’s house. “Daddy can you help me to the bathroom?” I asked looking at him. He was sitting in a chair right next to my bed. He turned and looked at me. “I got you Princess,” my father smiled for the first time since I woke up. Standing up he picked me up as if I was a baby and carried me to the bathroom. I used the bathroom and tried not to move the wrong way because the pain I had in my stomach was something awful. After I was finished, my daddy carried me back to the bed and sat down in the chair staring at me.
“So Diva when where you going to tell me about my grandchild? Why I didn’t know about this when you found out about it?” my father asked looking disappointed. That’s why I didn’t tell my father, because I didn’t want him looking at me like I shamed the family.
“Daddy, I didn’t know how to tell you. I got raped while you were away and I was too ashamed and embarrassed to tell you. The only person who knew was Hershey. Do you hate me daddy?” I asked trying to fight the tears but they won the battle. I was crying for my dead son who I never got to hold or tell him I loved him. Shit, I didn’t even get to see him. I was crying for the pain I caused my father and family by getting shot along with being pregnant. My father shook his head; pulling me to him, he looked me in the eye and spoke the words only a father can tell their daughter.
“Princess I don’t hate you, I could never hate you. You’re a part of me, why you never told me? You know I will kill anybody that harms you or tries harming you. You’re my baby,” he said sitting on the bed with me and wrapping his arms around me rocking me back to sleep.
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The Night I Got Shot…
The guy stood there staring at both Hershey and me; he was waiting for an answer. Hershey looked at him and busted out laughing, like the crazy chick she was.
“You Diva?” the big nigga asked her taking his hand out of his pocket. He was studying us both. He kept looking at my stomach and me, an uneasy feeling came over me, the same feeling I had the night of my birthday party. I knew Hershey and me were in some kind of trouble. I asked who he was not giving him the identity of who was who. He pulled the gun out and fired. I stood there frozen. “This nigga is not from Harlem to pull some shit like this,” I thought before falling to the ground holding my stomach. Hershey stood there in shock, she couldn’t move. I remember hearing him say, “That’s for messing with a nigga that don’t belong to you bitch,” before the nigga spit in my face and took off running with the other three guys throwing the gun away in the sewer. My stomach was burning and I started feeling cold. Hershey dropped on her knees and grabbed my hand with shaking hands while she pulled her cell phone out.
“Hershey I peed on myself,” I yelled drifting in and out of consciousness. I was trying to keep my eyes open. I could feel myself drifting off into another place and I wanted to fight it, but the pain was unbearable. I stopped feeling my prince move.
“Diva your water broke, open your eyes chica, talk to me,” Hershey cried. “I need help; my friend has just been shot in the stomach! She’s five months pregnant, please send somebody! We’re on the corner of West 117th and Lenox Ave. in front of the store,” she cried trying to talk to the operator.
“Hersh my stomach hurts and I feel cold,” I cried. My lips was trembling. Hershey grabbed my hand and put her other hand on my stomach to try to stop the bleeding. Everybody was standing around us. Barkeem made his way through the crowd, and his eyes got wide upon seeing me laid out on the ground bleeding. No one bothered to get anything to throw over me, the storeowner’s wife was right beside Hershey applying pressure to my stomach.
“Hershey what the fuck happened?” he asked throwing his sweater over me and putting my head on his lap. Hershey couldn’t talk, I felt her hands shaking along with her body as she held my hand and looked me in my eyes. “Yo fam, some nigga just walked up to her and shot her! There’s going to be a blood bath in Harlem tonight. Somebody shot Harlem’s Princess,” some young nigga said getting on his phone. “I’m going to die out here,” I cried, looking at Barkeem as he rubbed my face. I’d never seen a guy that was a thug cry. Just seeing the water build up in Barkeem’s eyes as he looked at me, let me know thugs do cry. “No you’re not baby girl, help is on the way. Why the fuck y’all standing here?” Barkeem yelled. EMT along with the cops came within two minutes after Hershey called; they took me to Harlem Hospital. All I remember was being pushed in a room and the baby crying, and then everything faded to black.
Snapping out of memory lane, I looked at my father as he was fixing his snap back on his head. He told me he was going home to take a quick shower and then coming back. He let me know Eddie, Kevin, and Asia were in the waiting room; he told me he was going to send them in when he left. He bent down kissing me on the forehead.
“Daddy am I going to be able to have any kids?” I asked looking at him, the question was burning in my head, and I needed to know the answer. My father looked at me sitting back down on the bed next to me. He said the doctor explained to both him and my mother that I would be able to have more children but I probably won’t be able to carry a child full term. The bullet went in and out. The bullet didn’t do any damage to my organs, but my uterus would have scar tissue. My father asked me what I named the baby, so my uncle could have it put on the tombstone.